Acceptance
After Deidra had left he stood, too much in shock to move. Pregnant, how could Deidra be pregnant? They'd only made love once, and that had only been two days ago. How could she already be pregnant?! Not knowing what he should do, he continued to stand there waiting for her to come back. She would come back, and then she would explain everything. But he waited and she didn't come back. Finally, tired of him standing in the middle of the room while she was trying to clean, Madam Pomfrey bustled Severus out of her way and out of the room.
Now Severus found himself facing the closed door of the infirmary, and still unsure of what to do. Without even thinking, he began the relatively short trudge back to his dungeon. When he had made it inside, he shut the door and walked over to his desk. Sitting down, he crossed his arms across the top and buried his face in their folds.
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Now that she had gotten herself under control, accepting what her father had just told her, she prepared herself to deal with Severus. On the way back down to the dungeons she made up her mind not to tell Severus just yet what her father had told, better to wait till they had some sort of solution to present alongside of it. He would have enough on his plate just with dealing with her being pregnant and he about to become a father without the fatal possibilities that now lurked in her womb.
She came to the dungeon door to find it locked, shaking her head and smiling, she pulled her wand out of her sleeve and lightly tapped the doorknob, whispering "opensio," then easily turning the handle and opening the door.
"When are you going to learn that locked doors don't necessarily keep anyone out." Deidra said gently, "sometimes they even make it harder for you to know someone's trying to get in."
"Well, knowing if someone was coming wasn't exactly my first priority, I had some other things on my mind." Was the muffled reply from Severus's bowed head.
Sighing softly, Deidra crossed the room and knelt by him on the side of his chair. "It was as much of a shock to me as it was to you." She whispered.
Turning in his chair, Severus faced the kneeling figure before him. She had her head buried in her hands. Her hair, which she had left loose hung low around her face, he could see the perfect part up the middle her head. Move by a sudden surge of love and compassion for all that she must be suffering right now, he reached out and stroked the side her face while he placed a light kissed on the part of her head.
That simple kiss, that one touch of affection, was enough to burst the walls containing Deidra's sorrow. Crumpling at his feet, she began to weep and wail piteously. Seeing this made Severus's heart seize up. He too desperately wanted to cry, but he knew that right now Deidra needed to be strong, to be the man she'd always thought him to be. He had failed her so many times before; he could not do it again. So, swallowing his own pain, he slid off his chair to kneel beside her and gently wrapped his arms around her bowed shoulders.
Rocking her gently, he waited for her to sped herself. Some people might have whispered soothing words, but he knew they would be of no help. He knew it would be of no help to tell her everything would be all right, because he wasn't sure everything would turn out all right. They were in a very awkward situation. They were both (as far as everyone else was concerned) teachers at the same school. They were, as yet, unmarried, and she was the headmaster's daughter if people began to find out, this could have some nasty outcomes, and he had not yet faced Albus, who, he was sure, would be less than pleased with him.
So they sat there, clutching each other until Deidra had used all her tears up. When her sobs had subsided to little more than barely audible whimpers, Severus pulled back slightly, and squared her shoulders to him, forcing her to look up into his face. Wiping the last traces of the flood that had escaped her from her face, he kissed her again, and took both her hands in his, caressing them.
"Are you any better now?" He asked gently.
Not trusting herself with words, Deidra simply nodded. "Good," he responded, standing up and then pulling her to her own feet. "I don't think we should stay here, how about we go to my room?" He checked her face then, realizing what he'd just said, and how she might take it in her present state. But she only smiled and nodded again.
Taking her hand firmly in his own, he led her out of the classroom and along the passage to his own room. When they got inside, he shut and locked the door behind them, and then turned his attention to the fire, adding another log, as it appeared to be dwindling. Dropping the fresh piece on the already existing pile, the flames flew up with a roar, and tiny sparks exploded around it. Turning around, he found Deidra had seated herself on the edge of his bed, pulling her feet up under her and leaning her head on the foot post.
Coming to sit next to her, he patted her knee gently and said, "well, now that we've made it through the preliminaries, I think it's time we talked this over as sensible adults, what do you think?" He smiled at her, once again hoping that she would take what he said in jest and not get offended.
But he didn't have to worry, for at his words, Deidra had broken out into one of her wide beautiful smiles that had always captivated him. All at once he had to hold himself back from jumping on her and consuming her as his male instinct was now urging him to do. In an effort to contain himself, he stuffed his hands under his thighs and looked out at the fire, hoping she would not guess the cause of his sudden awkwardness.
But Deidra knew her love all too well. She had seen right away that familiar look in his eyes, and was very flattered that even at times like this, he was not so wrapped up that could he could still notice her in the way she'd always wanted him to notice her. Leaning forward, she reached out and turned his face back to her. Their eyes briefly met before she'd removed the space between them and covered his lips with her own. Instinctively he rolled her over so she was on her back and he was on top of her.
Pulling away he laughed lightly, "so much for talking rationally, eh?" He smiled wolfishly at her and she blushed furiously, realizing his intent.
Reaching up, she wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him closer, whispering, "I think this is a much better idea right now." And with that brought his lips to hers, opening her mouth to his kiss.
As the night wore on the fire began to die again, but neither noticed their mutual passion provided more than enough heat to keep them comfortable.
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The next morning, Albus went to check on his daughter, wondering how she had fared last night. When he got to her door, he knocked several times, but she didn't answer, and the door didn't open the door. Worried that she might still be sleeping, he quietly opened the door, shaking his head, would she never learn to lock her door! And slipped inside. Once inside, it was clear that Deidra had never returned to her own room, smiling slightly, Albus turned to leave; he didn't need to guess where she was. He should have figured that out before now, and it was better that way, she would have needed him last night, to help her deal with all that she had learned. He closed the door behind him and headed down to the hall for breakfast, feeling more than ever that if something should happen to him, that he could at last be assured his daughter would be left in good hands.
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Severus rolled over and out of the bed, turning to look at the sleeping form that lay next to where he had just moments ago. She looked more at peace than she had in weeks, he hated to wake her and spoil that sweet vision, but it would soon be time fore breakfast, and she had to get back up stairs and be ready yet.
So, with a sigh of regret, Severus leaned back across the bed and shook Deidra's shoulder lightly. "Come darling, it's almost time for breakfast, you have to get up stairs yet."
Moaning, Deidra shifted away from his prodding hand and resettled herself on the pillow. But Severus persisted and finally she gave up and sat up, making her displeasure known through a series of groans and moans. Severus only laughed softly and crossed to the other side of the room where a large wardrobe containing all his cloths stood.
Layering himself for the day, he ended with his traditional black work robes. Deidra all the while watched as she stood, leaning on the bedpost, watching this age-old ritual with mild amusement. When he had finally he had finished and stood back to inspect himself in his full-length mirror, which hung on the wall next to the wardrobe. Sauntering over, Deidra wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her chin on his shoulder.
The feeling of her bare skin pressed against his back sent shivers up his spine as he brought his hands down to rest over hers. "You know darling, you could do a great deal for your appearance with just a little help."
Turning to wrap her in his arms, he asked, "would you like me to do a great deal to my appearance love?" He absently stroked her hair, staring into those piercing blue eyes, so like her father. That really gave him a start, quickly he stepped back and handed her one of his robes, which she obligingly draped around herself, looking at him in confusion.
"What was that all about?" She asked, frowning slightly.
Shaking his head to clearing, Severus looked at her again and smiled, slightly embarrassed, "I was looking at your eyes and all of a sudden I started thinking of your father. Which, for a future son-in-law who's standing in the middle of his room holding his naked daughter, is a bit unnerving, if you'll pardon me."
Deidra threw her head back and laughed out right then, it had been the first time in a while. Clapping her hands over her mouth she doubled over and tried to stifle her outburst while Severus looked on, slightly horrified.
"It's easy for you to laugh, do you have any idea what Albus Dumbledore would do to me if he found his precious daughter down here, naked at this time of day in my arms. Now let's bare in mind that this is the only known wizard in the world who You-Know-Who was defeated by. Imagine what he'd do to me." Now that he was really thinking of it, Severus's faced dropped and looked around in panic. This only increased Deidra's laughing.
"Severus, calm down, you're all but my husband, and I think that too will be resolved shortly. Furthermore, I don't my father cares that much, I kind of think he's got us figured out by now. So stop fussing and hand me my cloths so we can go upstairs for breakfast, I'm starving." She smiled at him again, and the terror melted, and he graciously bent to pick up her robes.
But then a new thought struck him, "aren't you going to go up to your own room first," he asked, indicating the fireplace.
Deidra sighed deeply, "Severus, I'm carrying your child, there's no getting around that. It's probably better that we start making appearances so that it looks better when I start to show, because who's to say we're not already married, if you don't say anything, I won't."
Severus smiled and shook his head, as he watched Deidra shrug into her slightly wrinkled robes, at this moment he was quite sure there was no other woman in the world like his. When she was finished, he stepped forward and offered her his arm, "well mother, I think we should be going, don't you?"
Smiling brilliantly, she linked her arm in his, "why yes father, I believe we should."
Author's note:
O.K. for those few of you who actually read this, I'm sorry it took so long. There were a lot of transportation difficulties, but I hope it was worth the wait.
