Coming Around
However, Albus and his children were allowed no more peaceful evenings after that. After the first night, Fudge finally remembered what he was here for and proceeded to demand all Albus's attention for himself.
This greatly irritated Albus, for once Fudge had explained the problem to him, he found it to be quite ridiculous, and he felt that his time was being wasted. Time that could have been spent searching for something to aid his daughter.
But just because Albus was not available to help meant by no means that Deidra and Severus were short on help. Once it became evident that Albus would be detained for several days, Remus quickly volunteered his services. Deidra was thrilled, she thought Remus would be a wonderful addition to their little "study group," and Severus nobly kept what negative opinions he had to himself.
He was still not all together sure of his wife's and Remus's past and present relationship with each other. While Deidra said that she had been involved with no other guys after she'd left him, she had said that Remus had been a great source of comfort to her when she was hurting, 'what kind of comfort?' he often found himself wondering. But in the end he shoved all those thoughts aside, deeming them mere jealousies and insecurities, he trusted Deidra, and he felt that Remus was too honest and decent to do anything like that. And so Remus found himself many nights sitting up in Albus's study, pouring over ever-possible book that might provide some sort of help to his friend.
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So, on the third day of Fudge's stay, Deidra, Severus, and Remus were all holed up in the library, trying, as usual, to find something that would help them. Deidra sat on the floor with her back to the wall. With her ever increasing bulk it was getting harder and harder to sit in chairs and sink all the way to the back, she preferred the solid hardness of the floor. Severus was perched on Albus's desk near by and Remus and situated himself on the window seat.
Deidra had found a book on the human body and pregnancy earlier and was looking over that. Severus had his head buried in "Potions to Aid the Body and the Spirit," and Remus was alternating between "How to See to It that Your Child is Born Healthy," and "Unknown Deadly Curses."
No one talked much, unless they had something worth sharing, so the three sat in silence. It was around 10:00 at night, and outside it was clear a storm was brewing. This year April was surprisingly hot, so Remus had opened the window to let in some air, but the air outside was not much better from what they had inside. Thick clouds made in hard to see the slim sliver that was the moon at present, and in the distance they could see streaks of lightning, a prelude of what was to come their way shortly.
Deidra had just turned a page to find a picture of a baby inside its mother's belly. She read on top of the page "maturing fetus" and looked down to examine the picture more closely. In the picture all the key parts were shown with a red out line, running her finger down the page she saw pictured, "head, body, amniotic fluid, umbilical cord…"
But she never got beyond that. Seeing the red outlined cord reminded her of something. Laying the book down in her lap, she closed her eyes and tried to remember where it was that she had seen it. Within a few moments it had come to her, the x-ray. The one Madam Pomfrey had taken the first time she and Severus had come up to investigate the unusual pains that she had been experiencing. That same red lined umbilical cord was what had alerted her father to her condition.
Reflecting deeper into this she thought, 'the baby itself can't carry the poison, otherwise it couldn't survive after birth. And the poison isn't directly in me, because otherwise I would have been affected without the baby. So the poison must be in the umbilical cord… that's it!'
"That's it!" She shouted, snapping her book shut. Both men snapped out of their private reveries to stare down at her with wide-eyed attention.
Swaying slightly, Severus managed to catch himself and, as gracefully as he could manage in his shocked state, slide off the desk to stand in front of her. "What's it, have you found something?"
"Well, I haven't exactly found something," she said hesitantly, all at once she wasn't sure that the men would be too thrilled about her idea. "But I was looking at this picture," she reopened the book and showed the two men the picture of the fetus with the red lined umbilical cord, "and I realized that, the poison can't be carried by me or the baby directly, so it must be in the umbilical cord."
"So," said Remus, hopping off the window seat to join them, "theoretically, all we'd have to do was replace the umbilical cord, and you and the baby would be fine."
"Exactly," Deidra said, throwing her arms up in the air in triumph.
"I'll get Albus," Remus spoke hurriedly as he headed for the door, "he should hear this, he'll be so relieved."
Severus turned to stop Remus, but by the time he had his mouth open Remus had already gone and closed the door behind him. Turning back to his wife, he saw a great many lines and shadows lifted from her face that had seemed immovable for months, it pained him to bring her hopes crashing down, but someone had to be sensible.
"Deidra, we couldn't do that," he said, the pain evident in his face.
Deidra's face dropped seeing he was serious, she laboriously tried to get up, but failed and in the end had to let Severus help her up. Standing and facing him, she looked into his eyes, searching for the reason for him to so easily abandon their only solution. "Why couldn't we?"
"Because," he pleaded with her, wishing she could see it for herself so he wouldn't have to be the barer of bad news, "if we did something like that it would most certainly kill the baby."
"How can you be sure," Deidra's eyes narrowed and she drew back from him.
"I've been reading up on child development during pregnancy, and the baby relies on its umbilical cord for all it's major life support systems, air, food, etc. If we disconnect that cord, even if it were only for a few moments, there's no guarantee we can keep the baby alive."
This was too much for Deidra; here she had thought that at last they had found some hope. That this was in fact going to come out all alright, and then to have everything come crashing down, only moments after she'd shared it with everyone else, was too much to handle.
Whirling away from him, Deidra found she'd lost her balance, she threw her arms out wildly and just managed to grab the arm of a near by arm chair to steady herself. Severus immediately moved to help her, but she pushed him away, not wanting anyone near her at all.
Breathing heavily, she turned her head slightly, so she could see Severus out of the corner of her eye and whispered, "I don't care what you think, it's our last hope. I'm going to do it, I'd rather have my baby and or myself go down fighting, than to sit in a corner and wait for defeat! I won't do that, I won't."
Her words were filled with a passion and determination that made Severus shiver, he realized at that moment that his wife would rather kill their baby herself than let Voldemort's curse kill it or her. They stayed like that, each contemplating what their next step would be, and that's how Albus and Remus found them.
Albus pushed open the door and swept brightly into the room, he had known all along that his daughter would think of something, she was to smart too not. But when he stepped across the threshold, the scene that greeted him was nothing like the happy triumph he'd envisioned on his way through the halls with Remus.
What he saw instead were two people each with a deep sadness in their eyes. Seeing Albus, Severus left his place at his wife's side, and turned to his father-in-law for help. "Albus, tell her, tell her it's too dangerous, tell her we can keep looking and find some other solution, there's no need to take such a great risk just yet."
"But there is," Deidra sobbed from her position still leaning over the chair, "the only way to cure a disease is to stem it's source, this is no different, this is the only way." She finally turned back to the three men who were looking at her, and they all drew back, for there was a fevered passion in her eyes that none had ever seen the likes of before. "And none of you, none of you, are going to stop me."
Albus was the first to regain himself and he tried to approach his daughter, but she waved him off as well. He sunk into another nearby chair and stared up at her, trying to think of something he could say to dissuade her. "Deidra, this is a rather harsh decision, why don't we wait and think all this through before we actually do anything."
Deidra threw up her arms and huffed in exasperation, "I thought you of all people would see why it has to be done right away, father. I am being poisoned, I'm to the point were it's a labored effort just to stand up each morning and go about my business. If we wait much longer I won't survive the operation necessary to save the baby. I mean, that's how the curse works anyway, you're feed poison and your mind and body become so sick and feeble that you don't survive the birth. If we don't do this soon, no matter what solution we have, one or both of us will die for sure. I don't want to let that happen, so I'm prepared to do what's necessary, no matter what any of you think!" And with that Deidra made for the door.
As she passed both Severus and Remus attempted to help her, but she pushed them both away. Remus turned his attention back to Albus, who was now slumped in the chair, looking truly defeated, while Severus followed Deidra out.
Once they had gone Albus looked up and Remus saw how truly hurt he was, Deidra was going to try something very dangerous, and she was going to try to do it alone, how much more helpless could Albus be. Standing next to him, Remus put his hand on the older man's shoulder, trying to offer some comfort, though he himself was also very torn at the moment.
"Like her mother, too much like her mother," Albus muttered, and Remus shook his head in understanding. Albus Dumbledore was the most powerful wizard in the world, he was the only one the Dark Lord had ever feared he could protect an entire school, but no matter how hard he tried, he could do nothing for the two women that had meant more than anything to him.
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Severus caught up to Deidra on the stairs. She was having quite a time trying to manage it with her bulk. Coming up behind her, he caught her elbow and took some of the weight off her feet. Turning, she shot and angry glare at him and tried to pull away, but Severus held fast this time, saying gently, "this is no place to get into a wrestling match, just let me help you down the stairs, then you can shun me all you want."
Deidra held her breath, looking at him, then shrugged slightly and continued down the stairs, secretly relieved at the relief his aid provided. But she was so preoccupied that she forgot about the trick step and nearly fell down face first. Once again Severus caught her, but this time he wasn't fooling around. "This is ridiculous," he muttered, "you're pregnant, you shouldn't be made to trudge up and down these stairs all the time, you should speak to Albus about having your room moved closer to the bedroom so it's not such a long haul." And with that he swept her off her feet and carried her the rest of the way down the stairs.
Once they reached the bottom he set her down again saying, "because more haul for you is more haul for me." Deidra looked at him with a confused look in her eyes, then turned and headed away from the stairs to the dungeons.
Once again Severus had to run to catch up to her, once he did, he stopped her with a firm hand on he shoulder and spun her around. "I know you're mad at me," he breathed, "but you should rest, if not for yourself for the baby."
"I have every intention of going to sleep," said Deidra spuriously, "I'm just going to the kitchen to get something to eat first, I'm starving." And with that she started off again and Severus had no choice but to follow her.
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Back up in the library Albus was thinking back to when this had all started, he remembered a conversation he'd had with Deidra the first day they'd started looking, "
Turning to Remus who was still sitting next to him he said quietly, "we have to help her do this, if she does it herself she'll only get herself or the baby killed, and we promised to help, to fight for her."
"Yes we did," Remus sighed, "I just wish we had other options."
"But we don't," said Albus standing up, "come on, we have to find her before she kills Severus or gets herself killed." And with that the two men left in search of the pair.
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As Severus watched Deidra raid one of the gigantic refrigerators, he knew that his wife was right, this was their only hope. He buried his head in his hands in exasperation. He sat like that till he noticed something cool nudging his arm.
Looking up he saw that Deidra was holding out a plate to him. On it was a hastily made sandwich made of ham, tomatoes, and lettuces, his favorite. "Here," she said through a mouth full of turkey and mustard rollup, "you never eat enough, and you look like you could use it right now."
Wordlessly he took the plate, there was still anger and fire in her eyes, but nothing could override her need to care for him. Seeing him despairing like this, even knowing that she was the cause, produced a great need in her to comfort her, in any way she could.
So they sat in the bright kitchen eating their sandwiches, each trying to find a way of breaking the silence without exploding. But in the end they didn't need to. For shortly after they'd settled down to eat, Albus came bursting through the portrait hole, Remus at his heels.
He went directly to Deidra, standing over her; he said the best words he could think of. "Daughter, I have done you a great disservice this night. I abandoned you, and I doubted you when you needed my support. This time it is you who are the one who is right. There is no other way to save your child, and I vowed to you I do all in my power to save it, and that is why, I will help you do this, no matter what anyone else does."
"As will I," Remus said coming over to stand behind Deidra.
Now both men were looking over at Severus who seemed profoundly engrossed in examining his sandwich. But after a few moments he set it back down on the plate and came to stand by Albus in front of Deidra.
Drawing a deep breath, he prepared to say one of the most difficult things he'd ever had to say. "But more than your father or Remus, it is I who has betrayed you. You and our child, I was being selfish, thinking only of myself and my pain and guilt, I should have remembered that you suffer far more than any of us ever will. And that is why I will stand behind you and o what ever it is that you need to get this thing done right."
Once he'd said this, all three men turned back to look at Deidra. All this while she'd had her head bowed and had not said a word. But now she raised it and there was a broad, dazzling smile on her face. She held out her arms and Severus fell gladly into their tight embrace.
Closing his eyes, he laid his head on her shoulder, so glad that, no matter what was going to happen, they were all in it together. That's when he heard her say softly, "I was wonder how long you guys would last."
Slightly alarmed at her words, he pulled back, only to see her and the other two men laughing. "Now then," said Deidra, sounding like her old industrious self, "who wants more sandwiches, speak up now, or I'll eat them all myself."
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Author's note:
K guys, sorry it took so long, the reason is, now that it's summer I'm in and out a lot and I don't have as much free time to spend in front of the computer, but I'll promise to be more consistent, but only if guys promise to review more, I really want to know what you guys think.
