The Billion-Dollar Princess Bride - Scene 2
The Billion-Dollar Princess Bride
Part 2
Narrator:
Five years later, the WWF arenas were filled as never before to hear the
Great Prince Helmsley announce his bride to be.
Helmsley: [with
music blaring, he gets into the ring and grabs a mic. Asshole chants can
be heard] Shut up! [more asshole chants] HEY! I have a
few things to say! [finally the asshole chants fade] A while ago,
Vince McMahon screwed me out of a WWF championship match! So… I've decided
to get back at him! I plan on hitting Vinnie-mac where it hurts… and marry
a woman who was once loyal to McMahon! Would you like to meet her?!
Crowd: [echoing]
NO!!!
Helmsley: [not
listening to the crowd] The Billion-dollar Princess Stephanie!
[Stephanie comes down
the ramp dressed rather skanky. She climbs into the ring and stands beside
Helmsley]
Narrator: Stephanie's
emptiness consumed her. Although Helmsley's plan to get back at daddy
seemed like a good idea at the time - and she DID find him kind of cute
- she didn't feel for Helmsley the way she had felt for Jericho... whatever
it WAS that she felt for Jericho.
[The scene fades to
Stephanie riding in her limo the next morning]
[Enter Shane McMahon;
an olympic hero; and a Giant]
Shane McMahon:
[standing in front of the limo, causing the limo driver to stop. He
goes to Stephanie's window and knocks. Stephanie rolls the window down]
Hey Steph! I found these Wrestlers and they seem to be out of a job. Do
you think WWF will take them, or should I ship them to some nearby indies?
Stephanie: Dad
already has a full roster! And there are no indies nearby.
Shane McMahon:
[signals to the Giant, who then proceeds to knock the limo driver unconscious]
Cool! Then no one will hear you scream like the spoiled little princess
you are! I never got why you were always Daddy's little girl anyway!
[The Giant quickly
grabs the billion-dollar princess by the neck and pulls her out of the
limo through the open window. They take Stephanie to their ship]
Olympic Hero [Kurt
Angle]: [seeing Shane McMahon ripping something up] Uh… Shane?
What the heck are you ripping?
Shane McMahon:
It's fabric from an Alliance T-shirt
Giant [The Big Show]:
What's the Alliance?
Shane McMahon:
The sworn enemy of the WWF! Don't you watch the shows?
[Shane McMahon attaches
the cloth to Stephanie's unconscious limo driver]
Shane McMahon:
When the limo driver wakes up, he'll go back to the WWF. The fabric will
make Prince Helmsley and Vince McMahon suspect that the Alliance has abducted
Stephanie. This will cause them to actually work TOGETHER to save her.
When they find Stephie jobbing to Stacey Kiebler, their suspicions will
be totally confirmed.
Big Show: You
never said anything about jobbing anyone!
Shane McMahon:
[angrily] I hired you to help me start a War between WWF and The
Alliance! What's wrong with you, man? [smacks Show upside the head]
Big Show: I just
don't think it's right jobbing ANYONE to Stacey Keibler!
Angle: I agree
with Big Show. Forcing a lovely woman like the billion-dollar Princess
Stephanie to get in the ring under ANY circumstances lacks integrity.
Shane McMahon:
Oh, the olympic hero has spoken! What happens to her isn't your concern.
I will JOB her! Now both of you just SHUT UP and do what I say!!
[Shane McMahon walks
away, angered, and sets the ship free]
Angle: Shane is
such a dork...
Big Show: [thinking]
Dork, dork... [comes up with something] When he talks, I want to
stuff his mouth with a CORK!
Angle: Probably
never found a lady who was a… looker
Big Show: Not
unless it was a 3 cent… hooker!
Angle: [somewhat
surprised] Now that response lacked integrity, Show!
Shane McMahon:
Stop rhyming or I'll kick your ass!
Big Show: Has
anyone seen my favourite glass?
Shane McMahon:
Aauuuggghhhhh!!!!!!
TO BE CONTINUED