The Billion-Dollar Princess Bride - Scene 2
The Billion-Dollar Princess Bride
Part 6
[Titan Towers Doghouse]
[Enter Spike Dudley.
Spike Dudley examines Jericho, who is tied down. He checks his eyes for
any sign of concussion]
Jericho:
Where am I?
Spike Dudley:
The Titan Towers doghouse. Only Prince Helmsley, and Stone Cold can get
you out of here.
Jericho:
Then I'm here 'till I die?
Spike Dudley:
'Till they spread rumors about you until everyone thinks you suck, and
you have to pack up and find another federation, yeah.
Jericho:
If I'm going to be stuck in the doghouse, why bother checking for a concussion?
Spike Dudley:
Well, Helmsley and Stone Cold always insist on everyone being healthy before
they're forced to watch either one of them cut a promo.
Jericho:
Ugh... torture. I guess I can handle that.
Spike Dudley:
[Spike Dudley shakes his head] Nobody withstands a 30 minute Austin
promo. NOBODY!
[The scene shifts
to Helmsley's Castle]
[Stephanie roams the
castle, saddened. Prince Helmsley and Stone Cold are planning their
next screw job, and notice Stephanie]
Helmsley:
She's been like that for the last few days. It's watching those old
Kronik matches...
Stone Cold:
WHAT? Oh... of course
[scene shifts to the
next day]
Narrator: Monday
night at 9pm, EST, Stephanie met the loyal WWF fans
[Stephanie comes out
before the crowd. She is met by loud 'slut' chants]
Stephanie: [upset]
I am NOT a slut! Shut up!! All of you just SHUT UP! I am Stephanie McMahon,
damnit!
[No one shuts up,
and instead starts a Y2J chant]
Stephanie: No...
he's not here. He's gone... stop! Please... STOP!
[Stephanie wakes up]
[Stephanie confronts
Helmsley in his quarters]
Stephanie:
I want Jericho, I always have - I know now I always will... though I don't
know why. He's a big, blonde JERK who-- uh... never mind. Anyway...
if you insist on marrying me in ten days, I will run off to the Alliance
and join THEM instead!
Helmsley:
Well... fine. Consider our marriage cancelled. [turns
to Stone Cold]
You returned Jericho to his ship?
Stone Cold: WHAT?
Oh... yeah, I returned that silly bastard to his ship!
Helmsley:
We'll find him then. Hey Steph, are you certain he'll want to come
back to you? After all, he's been known to call you a filthy, disgusting,
brutal, bottomfeeding trashbag ho!
Stephanie: [determined]
Jericho will always come back to torment me no matter what!
Helmsley: Fine.
You write four copies of a Wrestling contract. I'll send my
four fastest limos,
one in each direction. The Dread Pirate No-Seller is always around
this time of year. If Jericho wants you, fine. Torment each other
forever. If not, you'll marry ME. Agreed?
[Stephanie nods, then
heads back to her room]
TO BE CONTINUED