The Billion-Dollar Princess Bride - Scene 2
The Billion-Dollar Princess Bride
Part 6

[Titan Towers Doghouse]

[Enter Spike Dudley. Spike Dudley examines Jericho, who is tied down. He checks his eyes for any sign of concussion]

Jericho: Where am I?

Spike Dudley: The Titan Towers doghouse. Only Prince Helmsley, and Stone Cold can get you out of here.

Jericho: Then I'm here 'till I die?

Spike Dudley: 'Till they spread rumors about you until everyone thinks you suck, and you have to pack up and find another federation, yeah.

Jericho: If I'm going to be stuck in the doghouse, why bother checking for a concussion?

Spike Dudley: Well, Helmsley and Stone Cold always insist on everyone being healthy before they're forced to watch either one of them cut a promo.

Jericho: Ugh... torture. I guess I can handle that.

Spike Dudley: [Spike Dudley shakes his head] Nobody withstands a 30 minute Austin promo. NOBODY!

[The scene shifts to Helmsley's Castle]

[Stephanie roams the castle, saddened. Prince Helmsley and Stone Cold are planning their next screw job, and notice Stephanie]

Helmsley: She's been like that for the last few days. It's watching those old Kronik matches...

Stone Cold: WHAT? Oh... of course

[scene shifts to the next day]

Narrator: Monday night at 9pm, EST, Stephanie met the loyal WWF fans

[Stephanie comes out before the crowd. She is met by loud 'slut' chants]

Stephanie: [upset] I am NOT a slut! Shut up!! All of you just SHUT UP! I am Stephanie McMahon, damnit!

[No one shuts up, and instead starts a Y2J chant]

Stephanie: No... he's not here. He's gone... stop! Please... STOP!

[Stephanie wakes up]

[Stephanie confronts Helmsley in his quarters]

Stephanie: I want Jericho, I always have - I know now I always will... though I don't know why. He's a big, blonde JERK who-- uh... never mind. Anyway... if you insist on marrying me in ten days, I will run off to the Alliance and join THEM instead!

Helmsley: Well... fine. Consider our marriage cancelled. [turns
to Stone Cold] You returned Jericho to his ship?

Stone Cold: WHAT? Oh... yeah, I returned that silly bastard to his ship!

Helmsley: We'll find him then. Hey Steph, are you certain he'll want to come back to you? After all, he's been known to call you a filthy, disgusting, brutal, bottomfeeding trashbag ho!

Stephanie: [determined] Jericho will always come back to torment me no matter what!

Helmsley: Fine. You write four copies of a Wrestling contract. I'll send my
four fastest limos, one in each direction. The Dread Pirate No-Seller is always around this time of year. If Jericho wants you, fine. Torment each other forever. If not, you'll marry ME. Agreed?

[Stephanie nods, then heads back to her room]

TO BE CONTINUED