Warning: this fanfic contains slash implications, which may (probably) develop as the story goes on. If you have a problem, go away.
Disclaimer: Judith is mine. All the other characters belong to J. K. Rowling, and are in this fanfiction just for a brief holiday. I get nothing (dammit, I knew there was a reason I hadn't written much fanfic up til now ;o) ). The title is the title of a song by Radiohead (the second best band in the universe).
Ta very much for all the reviews, Clara2000, kk, Sunshineglow and harry and ginny 4ever.
I would have uploaded this sooner, but I have several million bits of coursework due in in the next fortnight (urgh).
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He tapped the wall beside them with his wand, and an archway opened just like in Diagon Alley. He stood up and helped Judith up. "Coming?"
They stepped through, and the archway closed behind them. Evidently, the wizarding side of Something-Norton (she really ought to try and remember the name of the place) was nothing like the Muggle side. The honey-coloured Cotswold stone was replaced by tall Georgian townhouses painted white or occasionally yellow. Further down the cobbled street Judith could see a lot of shops, and several pubs and nightclubs, but Malfoy led her down a side street. Here, the houses were the same as before but painted a rainbow of different colours.
"I've just realised I don't know your name," Malfoy said as they walked.
"Judith Davis."
"Draco Malfoy, but you already knew that. Call me Draco."
He stopped outside a house painted dark purple, between a garish red on the left and lime green on the right. There was no sign of anyone in, but there was a note on the door.
"'Gone down to the Wand to meet the others. Love R, H and H,'" Draco read. "Bugger. I'll have to tell everyone now."
They carried on past more bright houses and into the very much alive part they had missed earlier. Draco led Judith to a smallish pub called the Broken Wand on the corner, and they went in.
The Broken Wand was very much like a Muggle pub, except for the game of Exploding Snap being played in one corner, the large advertisement for Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans on one wall, and of course the robes its patrons were wearing. Judith felt very out of place in her jeans and T-shirt as several people glanced curiously at her.
Draco ordered two Butterbeers, gave one to Judith, and led them to seven people propping up the far end of the bar.
"Draco!" a shortish man with messy black hair covering his forehead jumped up and hugged the blond man, nearly sending his glasses flying. "Where were you?"
"I ran into someone I didn't particularly want to meet," Draco replied with astounding coolness.
Harry - who else could it be? - looked enquiringly at Judith.
"No, not Judith. She's the reason I'm here now. I had an almost fatal meeting with our dear friend Crabbe."
Harry and the others stopped looking happy and grew shocked and anxious expressions. The shorter of the two redheads quickly pulled up two stools and Draco and Judith sat down.
"What happened?" someone asked in an Irish accent.
"I was on my way here from a Muggle gig, and Crabbe Apparated by the wall. He basically told me that if I didn't go and serve Voldemort, he'd kill me." Everyone but Harry flinched and glared wearily at him when he said 'Voldemort', as if saying it was a habit of his.
"Go on," Harry said.
Draco described what had happened, finishing with "And Judith's a Muggle. She had nothing to defend herself with at all."
Everyone stared at Judith. "I did so. I had my unerring wit and astoundingly good looks," she protested ironically, but weakly, realising again what an idiot she had been.
"Thank you," Harry said after a moment. He grabbed Draco again and killed him fiercely.
"Um," said Judith. "There was another reason Draco brought me here." She took a large gulp of Butterbeer as Harry and Draco parted so Harry could listen too. "I have a pretty good idea of who you all are, and of what's going on with Voldemort, and about your world in general. And I know I'm a Muggle, and what that is."
"How?" the girl who was probably Hermione asked.
"There's a Muggle author called J.K.Rowling," she began.
"And she's written a load of books about us. Well, about Harry, at Hogwarts. Up til fourth year," Draco continued, unable to contain himself.
"Who are we all, then?" Hermione asked.
"You're Hermione, Draco is Draco, with Harry, Ron," the shorter redhead, "Seamus," the one with the Irish accent, "Dean," the hugely tall man attached to Seamus, "Neville," the chubby one who had flinched most at the mention of Voldemort, "Percy," the one attached to Neville.
Everyone stared some more. "Exactly right," Hermione said. "Have you got one of these books with you?"
"No - yes, actually," Judith said, remembering the book in her bag. She fished out Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets and handed it to Hermione.
Hermione flicked through it silently, then passed it to Harry. "There's going to be one for each school year?" she asked.
"Yep," Judith replied.
"The seventh book should be amusing," Draco said, grinning wickedly. "These are childrens' books."
Seamus laughed loudly and pinched Dean's rear end.
"Leave my arse alone!" Dean protested, but he was smiling too.
"This is...weird," Harry said eventually.
"Relax," Judith said airily. "Like he said, they're only children's books. It's not like there's any embarassing details. Well, apart from Harry's Cho Chang obsession..."
Harry moaned with embarassment and buried his face in the crook of Draco's neck and shoulder, while everyone laughed goodnaturedly at him.
They did relax, surprisingly well for people who had just found out they were the subject of a series of books about their school days. They drank their butterbeers and chatted to each other and Judith, and Judith found it quite easy to forget who they were and why she was there with them.
By closing time, Hermione was the only one anywhere near sober. Everyone else took this as a normal occurence and relied on her to succesfully put the key in the lock of the dark purple house and let them all in.
Judith collapsed on a sofa, vaguely noticing that her head was on Dean's shoulder and Seamus was snoring in her other ear before falling asleep herself.
*
Judith woke to a bright flash of light that penetrated right to the back of her head through her closed eyelids, and the mother, father and great-auntie of all hangovers.
"Wha..?" she asked blearily, squinting around her. Dean and Seamus on either side of her were making similar noises of confusion. Her eyes cleared and she could see Hermione standing in front of the sofa holding a camera and grinning maliciously.
"Say cheese," she said, a little belatedly.
The camera turned out to be some sort of wizardly Polaroid. The picture shot out, and Hermione put it on the coffee table and took another one while she waited for the first to clear.
Judith was fascinated, never having seen herself in a moving photo before, and managed to overcome her hangover enough to look at it. The first one wasn't particularly exciting, because all they were doing was sleeping, but the second one showed them glaring painfully at the camera, Seamus shaking his fist and Dean holding his head in his hands.
Hermione threw them a bottle labelled 'Minnie Bell's Ultimate Hangover Cure'. Seamus caught it, swallowed a tablet and passed it on to Judith. She peered at it blearily, and took one, hoping it wouldn't have adverse effects on a Muggle.
As she swallowed it, everything cleared up and the little people in her head stopped doing percussion practice. She passed the bottle on to Dean, who took one too and then threw it back to Hermione.
"I've been thinking," Hermione began, looking slightly more serious.
"Did it hurt?" Seamus asked.
"No, it gets better with practice, but I suppose you won't have discovered that," Hermione replied, sitting down. "Crabbe ought to have turned around and killed you the minute he heard your voice. He's too stupid not to have done."
"That's a nice thought," Judith said, shuddering. "Maybe he grew a few extra braincells or something."
"I doubt it," Hermione said. "I was thinking more along the lines of you doing some kind of magic without realising it."
"I doubt that more," Judith said. "I'm a Muggle. If I wasn't, why didn't I get a Hogwarts letter?"
"I have no idea," Hermione admitted. "I left most of my books at Hogwarts, but I do remember reading something about people who can do magic without wands and who don't get found out about to go to a wizarding school."
"I still doubt it," Judith said. "I've never done anything before."
"Well, it's worth mentioning to Dumbledore when we go to see him," Hermione said.
"We?"
"We have to go and tell him about the books," Hermione explained patiently. "You're our Muggle expert now."
"Oh," Judith said.
"What about us?" Seamus asked.
"You can come too," Hermione said. "It's not as if you've got anything useful to do, is it?"
"Of course we do, just not today. Fred and George gave us the fortnight off, starting yesterday," Dean said.
"Like I said, nothing useful. What kind of job is selling practical jokes?"
"One that pays a lot," said Dean. "Besides, it's only until we get signed."
"Signed?" Judith asked.
"To a record label. We're a band," Seamus said.
"What do you play?"
"Indie. There's a Muggle band called the Kings of Convenience that Draco reckons we're just like."
"I've heard of them," Judith said. "Have you got a tape I can listen to?"
"Later," Hermione interrupted. "We're going soon. Breakfast."
Breakfast was cornflakes. Judith found she was slightly disappointed at their normality, until she read the packet and found that the free toy was a Sneakoscope.
After breakfast, Hermione produced a Portkey which would take all eight of them to Hogwarts.
Disclaimer: Judith is mine. All the other characters belong to J. K. Rowling, and are in this fanfiction just for a brief holiday. I get nothing (dammit, I knew there was a reason I hadn't written much fanfic up til now ;o) ). The title is the title of a song by Radiohead (the second best band in the universe).
Ta very much for all the reviews, Clara2000, kk, Sunshineglow and harry and ginny 4ever.
I would have uploaded this sooner, but I have several million bits of coursework due in in the next fortnight (urgh).
***************************************************************************************
He tapped the wall beside them with his wand, and an archway opened just like in Diagon Alley. He stood up and helped Judith up. "Coming?"
They stepped through, and the archway closed behind them. Evidently, the wizarding side of Something-Norton (she really ought to try and remember the name of the place) was nothing like the Muggle side. The honey-coloured Cotswold stone was replaced by tall Georgian townhouses painted white or occasionally yellow. Further down the cobbled street Judith could see a lot of shops, and several pubs and nightclubs, but Malfoy led her down a side street. Here, the houses were the same as before but painted a rainbow of different colours.
"I've just realised I don't know your name," Malfoy said as they walked.
"Judith Davis."
"Draco Malfoy, but you already knew that. Call me Draco."
He stopped outside a house painted dark purple, between a garish red on the left and lime green on the right. There was no sign of anyone in, but there was a note on the door.
"'Gone down to the Wand to meet the others. Love R, H and H,'" Draco read. "Bugger. I'll have to tell everyone now."
They carried on past more bright houses and into the very much alive part they had missed earlier. Draco led Judith to a smallish pub called the Broken Wand on the corner, and they went in.
The Broken Wand was very much like a Muggle pub, except for the game of Exploding Snap being played in one corner, the large advertisement for Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans on one wall, and of course the robes its patrons were wearing. Judith felt very out of place in her jeans and T-shirt as several people glanced curiously at her.
Draco ordered two Butterbeers, gave one to Judith, and led them to seven people propping up the far end of the bar.
"Draco!" a shortish man with messy black hair covering his forehead jumped up and hugged the blond man, nearly sending his glasses flying. "Where were you?"
"I ran into someone I didn't particularly want to meet," Draco replied with astounding coolness.
Harry - who else could it be? - looked enquiringly at Judith.
"No, not Judith. She's the reason I'm here now. I had an almost fatal meeting with our dear friend Crabbe."
Harry and the others stopped looking happy and grew shocked and anxious expressions. The shorter of the two redheads quickly pulled up two stools and Draco and Judith sat down.
"What happened?" someone asked in an Irish accent.
"I was on my way here from a Muggle gig, and Crabbe Apparated by the wall. He basically told me that if I didn't go and serve Voldemort, he'd kill me." Everyone but Harry flinched and glared wearily at him when he said 'Voldemort', as if saying it was a habit of his.
"Go on," Harry said.
Draco described what had happened, finishing with "And Judith's a Muggle. She had nothing to defend herself with at all."
Everyone stared at Judith. "I did so. I had my unerring wit and astoundingly good looks," she protested ironically, but weakly, realising again what an idiot she had been.
"Thank you," Harry said after a moment. He grabbed Draco again and killed him fiercely.
"Um," said Judith. "There was another reason Draco brought me here." She took a large gulp of Butterbeer as Harry and Draco parted so Harry could listen too. "I have a pretty good idea of who you all are, and of what's going on with Voldemort, and about your world in general. And I know I'm a Muggle, and what that is."
"How?" the girl who was probably Hermione asked.
"There's a Muggle author called J.K.Rowling," she began.
"And she's written a load of books about us. Well, about Harry, at Hogwarts. Up til fourth year," Draco continued, unable to contain himself.
"Who are we all, then?" Hermione asked.
"You're Hermione, Draco is Draco, with Harry, Ron," the shorter redhead, "Seamus," the one with the Irish accent, "Dean," the hugely tall man attached to Seamus, "Neville," the chubby one who had flinched most at the mention of Voldemort, "Percy," the one attached to Neville.
Everyone stared some more. "Exactly right," Hermione said. "Have you got one of these books with you?"
"No - yes, actually," Judith said, remembering the book in her bag. She fished out Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets and handed it to Hermione.
Hermione flicked through it silently, then passed it to Harry. "There's going to be one for each school year?" she asked.
"Yep," Judith replied.
"The seventh book should be amusing," Draco said, grinning wickedly. "These are childrens' books."
Seamus laughed loudly and pinched Dean's rear end.
"Leave my arse alone!" Dean protested, but he was smiling too.
"This is...weird," Harry said eventually.
"Relax," Judith said airily. "Like he said, they're only children's books. It's not like there's any embarassing details. Well, apart from Harry's Cho Chang obsession..."
Harry moaned with embarassment and buried his face in the crook of Draco's neck and shoulder, while everyone laughed goodnaturedly at him.
They did relax, surprisingly well for people who had just found out they were the subject of a series of books about their school days. They drank their butterbeers and chatted to each other and Judith, and Judith found it quite easy to forget who they were and why she was there with them.
By closing time, Hermione was the only one anywhere near sober. Everyone else took this as a normal occurence and relied on her to succesfully put the key in the lock of the dark purple house and let them all in.
Judith collapsed on a sofa, vaguely noticing that her head was on Dean's shoulder and Seamus was snoring in her other ear before falling asleep herself.
*
Judith woke to a bright flash of light that penetrated right to the back of her head through her closed eyelids, and the mother, father and great-auntie of all hangovers.
"Wha..?" she asked blearily, squinting around her. Dean and Seamus on either side of her were making similar noises of confusion. Her eyes cleared and she could see Hermione standing in front of the sofa holding a camera and grinning maliciously.
"Say cheese," she said, a little belatedly.
The camera turned out to be some sort of wizardly Polaroid. The picture shot out, and Hermione put it on the coffee table and took another one while she waited for the first to clear.
Judith was fascinated, never having seen herself in a moving photo before, and managed to overcome her hangover enough to look at it. The first one wasn't particularly exciting, because all they were doing was sleeping, but the second one showed them glaring painfully at the camera, Seamus shaking his fist and Dean holding his head in his hands.
Hermione threw them a bottle labelled 'Minnie Bell's Ultimate Hangover Cure'. Seamus caught it, swallowed a tablet and passed it on to Judith. She peered at it blearily, and took one, hoping it wouldn't have adverse effects on a Muggle.
As she swallowed it, everything cleared up and the little people in her head stopped doing percussion practice. She passed the bottle on to Dean, who took one too and then threw it back to Hermione.
"I've been thinking," Hermione began, looking slightly more serious.
"Did it hurt?" Seamus asked.
"No, it gets better with practice, but I suppose you won't have discovered that," Hermione replied, sitting down. "Crabbe ought to have turned around and killed you the minute he heard your voice. He's too stupid not to have done."
"That's a nice thought," Judith said, shuddering. "Maybe he grew a few extra braincells or something."
"I doubt it," Hermione said. "I was thinking more along the lines of you doing some kind of magic without realising it."
"I doubt that more," Judith said. "I'm a Muggle. If I wasn't, why didn't I get a Hogwarts letter?"
"I have no idea," Hermione admitted. "I left most of my books at Hogwarts, but I do remember reading something about people who can do magic without wands and who don't get found out about to go to a wizarding school."
"I still doubt it," Judith said. "I've never done anything before."
"Well, it's worth mentioning to Dumbledore when we go to see him," Hermione said.
"We?"
"We have to go and tell him about the books," Hermione explained patiently. "You're our Muggle expert now."
"Oh," Judith said.
"What about us?" Seamus asked.
"You can come too," Hermione said. "It's not as if you've got anything useful to do, is it?"
"Of course we do, just not today. Fred and George gave us the fortnight off, starting yesterday," Dean said.
"Like I said, nothing useful. What kind of job is selling practical jokes?"
"One that pays a lot," said Dean. "Besides, it's only until we get signed."
"Signed?" Judith asked.
"To a record label. We're a band," Seamus said.
"What do you play?"
"Indie. There's a Muggle band called the Kings of Convenience that Draco reckons we're just like."
"I've heard of them," Judith said. "Have you got a tape I can listen to?"
"Later," Hermione interrupted. "We're going soon. Breakfast."
Breakfast was cornflakes. Judith found she was slightly disappointed at their normality, until she read the packet and found that the free toy was a Sneakoscope.
After breakfast, Hermione produced a Portkey which would take all eight of them to Hogwarts.
