Still more thanks and chocolate frogs to Sunshineglow for reading where everyone else has given up :o). I'm afraid I have no control over Sirius and Seamus. What they choose to do under the table during lunch seems to be up to them... I'll try having a word with them if it bothers you that much, but from past experience I have no control over my own characters, let alone J. K. Rowling's.

I have just realised I used to know someone called Helen Davis...Helen, if you're reading this, it's not meant to be you (though if you did end up a Hogwarts after the Grange, feel free to tell me ;o) ). Heh, bet you can't guess who I am, Helen...

This is, in case you haven't noticed, somewhat reminiscent of a Mary Sue...it's an accidental result of wondering what would happen if the wizards found out about the books. But Snape is my favourite character, and I cannot stand proper Mary Sues, so think of this as an alternative, if you will.

********************

Half the teachers appeared to be needed at the meeting, and expanded though Dumbledore's office was, there was still very little room. Judith, one of the last through the door, had to sit curled up on a flowery armchair wedged into one corner because there was no space on the floor for her feet.

"Couldn't we have used the staffroom?" Snape demanded in annoyance from a similar armchair right next to Judith.

"Security," Dumbledore said. "We most certainly don't want anyone outside of this room to hear this conversation."

Judith looked at Snape. He had also been forced to put his feet up on his chair, and looked highly annoyed at having to do so. As Judith watched, trying not to laugh, he turned his head slightly and noticed her through strands of long black hair. He looked younger than she had imagined him from the books, and even more so when he unexpectedly gave her what seemed to be a wry grin.

He looked as if he was about to say something when Dumbledore loudly cleared his throat.

"Yesterday evening, an attack was made on Draco Malfoy by Crabbe on behalf of Voldemort. However, that isn't the point of this meeting. He would have been killed if not for Judith Davis, sitting in the corner over there, who stepped in when Crabbe's back was turned and pretended she had a wand, scaring him into Apparating away before he did any harm. This is even braver when you realise that Judith is a Muggle, and had nothing to protect her from him." Here everyone in the room turned round and looked at her in astonishment, and there were congratulatory murmurs in her direction. Those who could reach, including Snape, shook her hand. "Now we come to the purpose of this meeting. The reason Judith knew exactly what was going on, and what to do, and even who the people involved were, was because she had read the existing part of an extremely popular children's fantasy series written by a Muggle author about Harry Potter."

Dumbledore held up the book Judith had had in her bag for everyone to see. "This raises three points of concern," he continued over the shocked and disbelieving murmurs. "Firstly, how did this J. K. Rowling find out about Harry, or indeed anything to do with the wizarding world? Secondly, how have these books escaped notice for the past four years? And thirdly, what happens when the author gets to Harry's later years and the secrets discovered then? If Voldemort were to find out about them, we would have very little defence against him when he launches his main attack."

There was a shocked silence, then people started talking loudly. Snape leaned over towards Judith.

"Just how popular are these books?"

"Well, just about everyone's heard of them, and I'd say at least half of those have read at least part of one of the books. There's a film coming out soon as well, so then even more people will have heard about it."

Snape looked puzzled. "I still can't see how it hasn't come to anyone's attention, then," he said. "Surely the people from Muggle families would have heard of them..."

"My cousin has," Judith said. "Helen Davis, the one you shouted at."

Snape leant back in his chair, looking thoughtful.

Dumbledore cleared his throat again, almost certainly with help from an amplification spell. "Does anyone have anything to say?"

A tall, severe lady stood up.

"Minerva," Dumbledore acknowledged her.

"I recommend the Ministry finds this woman and checks if she really is a Muggle," Professor McGonnagal said.

"Agreed," said Bill. "Albus, may I borrow your owl?"

"Certainly."

Bill scribbled something on a piece of parchment and attached it to the proffered owl's leg. The owl promptly flew out of the window. Judith watched it fly for a while, until it disappeared.

"He's trained to Apparate wherever possible," Dumbledore explained to the people with eyebrows raised.

No one else seemed to have anything constructive to say, so Dumbledore ended the meeting, asking Judith, Snape and Bill to stay behind.

"Judith, do you want to go home? We can carry on without you from here, although it would be nice to have you stay to help," he said kindly.

"I need to go back to where I was staying before they report me missing, but I could come back after that," Judith said. "I should be working, but I can always make up a few white lies about the amount I managed to get done. I'm researching my family history, so it should be easy enough to lie about for a couple of weeks."

"I'm a little worried about the Death Eaters. I think they may be able to get a hold on you from when you went through the wall with Draco and catch up with you while you're seeing to business, so would you mind if I sent someone with you?"

"Um...I suppose not," said Judith. "The thought of vengeful Death Eaters following me around isn't particularly pleasant, to be honest."

"They'll be following you around for certain," Snape broke in. "It's letting them catch up with you that you need to avoid."

"Which is why I'd like you to go with Judith," Dumbledore said. "You haven't got any more lessons until next term now, have you?"

"No, I haven't," he began.

"Excellent," said Dumbledore, beaming. "And you can help Judith out with some of this research while you're at it. We wouldn't want her to have to lie too much, would we, Severus?"

Snape's expression at this was unreadable.

"Oh, I really don't need to do any more research," Judith said hastily. "The person who employed me is far too batty to notice me lying."

"I take that back about you making a good Gryffindor, Judith," said Dumbledore. "You seem very much like a Slytherin."

Snape smiled oddly. "Oh, I don't know about that," he said. "You'll have to prove yourself while we're busy avoiding Death Eaters." This seemed to be his agreement to Dumbledore's suggestion.

The old wizard turned to Bill Weasley, who was looking amused. "Bill, I think you need some better staff," he said. "People who will bother to inform you of what's going on in the Muggle world."

"I did order the Muggle newspapers," Bill said, "but then I found I had no time to read them. You're probably right."

"Yes, I ran out of time myself a couple of years ago. May I suggest Judith?"

"What?" Judith asked in astonishment.

"Oh, not as a major job, of course," Dumbledore said. "Just as someone with first hand experience of the Muggle world who can let Bill know if anything important happens. Would you mind?"

"I suppose I could cope," said Judith. "Just that?"

"Bill?"

"It would be hugely helpful," said Bill. "There aren't really any other Muggles who would know what was important without their wizard relatives telling them, and we've seen from this how misplaced a lot of people's sense of importance is."

"Alright, then," she agreed. She looked at her watch. "Um, do you mind if we go now?" she asked. "I told the people at the B and B I'd be out by today, and they might start chucking my stuff out."

"Do you happen to have a portkey for wherever it is Judith's staying?" Snape asked Dumbledore.

"Where Professor Granger lives...Chipping Norton, I believe," Dumbledore said, handing Snape a small metal tag with the initials H.G. carved in it.

Judith was relieved someone knew what the stupid place was called...she couldn't have gone on calling it Something Norton in front of everyone.

Snape fetched out a wand from his robes and pointed it at himself, muttering something Judith couldn't make out. Suddenly he was wearing black jeans, a black t-shirt, a black leather jacket and thick black boots with lots of buckles on.

They took hold of the portkey, there was a brief jolt, and they were standing in the road with the rainbow houses. Snape made a face.

"A little garish, don't you think? Which one's Granger's?"

"The purple one."

"At least it's not the lime green one, at any rate. Do you happen to know the way to the Muggle part of town?"

Judith led him to the wall, which he opened, and into the alley.

"This where you met Crabbe?"

Judith nodded.

"Never did like the boy. No brain."

"I noticed. It was a bit odd, seeing someone I'd only heard about as one of Draco's personal goons trying to kill him."

"They only followed Draco because their fathers followed Lucius Malfoy," Snape said. "I've never liked Lucius either."

"I think I can understand that," Judith agreed as they started walking. "Um...do you mind me asking why you became a Death Eater?"

Snape was silent for a moment. Judith began to worry that she had mortally offended him, but then he spoke. "To be honest, I don't know. It just seemed like the thing to do, what with being a Slytherin and not liking most of the people involved in fighting him. Besides, I've always felt drawn to the dark side of life."

"So what made you change your mind?"

"Dark side was too dark. I was fine with the secret rituals and running all over the country scaring people, but the torturing and killing innocent people was too far, once I'd seen it actually happen. I was far too idealistic. Then they caught Dumbledore, and I realised he was a perfectly reasonable human being, and the Dark Lord wasn't, so I used some potions on the Death Eaters guarding him and got him out. And made them forget they had ever caught him, which was my stroke of genius."

"Nice one..."

They reached the B&B. Judith anxiously rang the doorbell.

"I'm sorry I didn't turn up, but something unavoidable came up," she explained to the landlady.

"That's fine," said the landlady, seeing Snape, coming to the obvious, wrong conclusion, and smiling a little. "You young people..." She passed Judith her bag and Judith paid thankfully.

"Um," she said, checking her pockets. "Car key. Ah, got it." She led Snape to a small car park around the back of the B&B, where her black Beetle awaited. She chucked her bag in the boot and turned to face a shifty looking Snape.

"Now what?" she asked him.

"Get in the car and drive like hell," he said, dark eyes flashing. "The longer we stay in one place, the quicker they catch up with us. I can feel a tracking spell looking for you." Judith climbed into the driving seat as Snape leapt into the car next to her.

"Anywhere in particular?"

"Somewhere with lots of people."

"You're sitting on a road map," she said, reversing out of the cramped car park. "Find the page with Chipping Norton on, then find the nearest place with the biggest black letters for a place name. Can you read maps?"

She utterly failed to notice the crushing look he sent at her as he answered. "Of course. There's Banbury, or there's Oxford, which is bigger but further."

"Which do you think?"

"Does anyone know you in either of these places?"

"Not that I know of, but I was in Banbury last week."

"Oxford, then. If someone recognises you, they can use that."

"Right. Oxford." Judith somehow managed to find the way out of the one-way system onto the right road, and pushed the poor Beetle right to its limit.

They sat in strained silence for the journey, except for a few moments when Snape took out his wand and muttered something designed to make them inconspicuous. At a set of traffic lights near the outskirts of Oxford, Judith was surprised to notice her hands were shaking.

"Calm down," Snape told her. "You're sending out very strong signals to anyone looking for you while you're in this state. Let your mind wander."

"I can't," Judith said, after trying.

"Tell me about the last book you read."

"No good. It was the one with the Triwizard Tournament."

"Oh. Um...music. Talk to me about what music you like."

"Jazz, mostly. Tyrone Brown's String Sextet."

"Haven't heard of them. I do like jazz, though. Tell me."

Judith lapsed into a rambling description of it, and managed to forget about the Death Eaters until they were in the centre of Oxford. She parked the car in the multi-storey just as Snape began to mutter more frantically and wave his wand about. He stopped suddenly, his face drained of colour.

"They've got us. I felt it take," he said. "I might be able to transfer it to the car..." He muttered some more. "I think I put it on the car, but it won't fool them for long. Come on, we need to be where lots of other people are, to confuse them."

They started walking quickly towards the stairs, but their nerves broke at exactly the same time and they started to run. Judith half thought she heard footsteps behind them, but they could have been echoes.

They ran across a glass-covered bridge and into a brightly-lit shopping centre. There seemed to be a lot of people in a sports shop, so they slowed to a walk and slipped in.

"Don't look behind us, else they'll see your face and then we're in deeper shit," Snape whispered in her ear. I'm going to change our appearance as soon as we get out of sight. Don't panic."

Snape led her deeper into a crowd surrounding some kind of sports shoe demonstration, and Judith found herself with long, brown hair instead of her short red ponytail. She was wearing blue jeans and a sport-brand t-shirt like the ones on a nearby rack. Snape was dressed similarly, and his hair was short and dark blond. He made a face.

"Awful, I know. Pretend we're a couple. Don't look around, and run when I say."

"Where are we going?"

"The wizard quarter, so we can get a Portkey off a friend of Dumbledore's. But we've got to lose them first, else we'll get the friend in trouble too."

They strolled out of the shop, holding hands, and pretended an interest in various shop windows as they wandered purposefully out of the shopping centre.

"I'm hoping they don't know Oxford. I do, so we might have an advantage," Snape said, and proceeded to lead Judith in and out of various shops and along little side streets, changing their appearance every few minutes. They moved down a wide open street as part of a group of foreign tourists, and slipped into a quiet bookshop.

"We may have lost them, but a few rounds of Blackwell's ought to make sure," he said. At first, Judith couldn't see what he meant - the bookshop wasn't that big, and she could see practically all of it from the doorway, but then Snape led her down some stairs she hadn't noticed and into a vast, multi-levelled room full of books.

On the wall was a large Harry Potter poster. Judith prodded Snape in the back as he attempted to walk straight past it. "There," she said.

He frowned. "There's a very strong inconspicuousness charm on that," he said. "Something gives me the impression that this Rowling woman isn't totally Muggle, else I would have seen that straight away. No wonder we hadn't noticed."

They wandered aimlessly down aisles of high shelving. Judith began to think they were safe until someone cleared their throat unpleasantly behind them and Snape pushed her into an alcove and swung around to face the Death Eater.

"My, won't the Master be pleased," said an unpleasant, slimy voice. "The interfering Muggle bitch and Severus Snape. Two in one, you might say."

"Lucius Malfoy," Snape greeted him, sounding equally unpleasant. "I'm insulted. Are you the best he thought it worth sending?"

"Oh, you've got it all wrong, Severus. I am the best, as I made clear to you twenty years ago."

"No wonder he recruited me, then, lacking in quality like that. He's not giving the poor girl much of an impression, first Crabbe, then you," Severus sneered.

"What do I care what Muggle scum thinks - " Lucius began.

"Avada Kedavra," Snape hissed, interrupting the Death Eater mid-flow. There was a green flash and a thump as Malfoy's lifeless body dropped to the floor. "Whoops," said Snape quietly. "However did that happen?" He looked at his wand in mock amazement.

Judith stepped out of the alcove and surveyed the body. "Nice one," she said. "Unchivalrous, interrupting his waffle like that, but I think that gets you an extra few points for style." She was surprised to find she meant it.

"I've been wanting to do that for years," Snape said, looking around. Several people had hurried over to investigate the green light and were staring in shock from the body to Snape's wand, which was now engaged in the act of turning the two back to their original clothes.

A young man in a 'Quidditch' t-shirt seemed to know what was going on and looked at Snape and Judith in shocked realisation.

"Time to go, I think," Snape murmured. They left the shop quietly before people could get over their shock enough to do anything.

"Now where?" Judith wondered.

"The Lamb and Flag Passage," Snape replied. "There's a certain stone in the wall my wand ought to become aquainted with."

**************************

Bah. Tis all my fault for going to Oxford, methinks. I never meant to cause murder in Blackwell's...honest...
Oh, and *technically* they wouldn't have an HP poster in that bit of Blackwells, but I'm exercising my artistic licence...

Episode 5 in the ongoing saga of Judith in Wizardland coming soon...it *is* the summer holidays, and I have coursework to avoid...