Shady Baby

Shady Baby

Chapter 5

Lunch Break, Lunch Break!

Summary: Lucks sets out to take Rincewind back to the University and he tells her that she is a wizard and the best place for her is at the University.

Author's Note: I've just taken a major break from writing this story because I had to see my boyfriend off on vacation…I was numb for a couple days, but I'm better now, he'll be home soon. Oh yeah, the caravan boy makes a return cameo here, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Disclaimer: We at Nightingale Productions would like to say: "HELLLLLP ME…" Thank you and enjoy the show.

Morning came sooner than Lucks wanted it to. She was awakened by the fast moving sunlight coming through her window and into her eyes. "Bugger that wizard" she said. She got up and found some pants and a tunic and slipped into them. She pulled her knee high boots on as she was walking out of her room, tripping over Killer as she went. He looked up lazily at her and stuck out his long tongue.

She found her parents and the wizard, that Rincewind guy sitting at the table. He was devouring some of his long coveted molluscs. He looked up when she came in. "Ah, good morning, miss, um…"

"Lucks" she said.

"Here, honey, have some breakfast, it's a long journey to the University" her mother said. "Of course I wouldn't know, I've never been there…" Her mother shot an angry look at Lucks' father. He never took her anywhere outside the Shades.

Lucks ate her breakfast in silence. She was not looking forward to this journey. She herself was rarely outside her home, and she didn't want to travel alone through the most dangerous part of the disc with this very inept man who called himself a wizard…he didn't look too confident. Or full of magic for that matter.

"Now Lucks" her father said, "I'd like you to be very careful, and once you've dropped off Mr. Rincefish you come straight home…I don't want you gone longer than a week."

"Yeah, ok dad" she said. "I know my way around. Besides, I've got Killer with me, we're not getting hurt." She affectionately scratched Killer on the ear and fed him some bacon.

"I don't know my way around" Lucks' mother said. She scowled at her husband again, but he paid no attention.

Lucks finished quickly. "I'm ready," she said. "Let's go, Rincething."

"Madam," he said, "My name is Rincewind, if you please" he said.

Lucks shot him an evil glare, and he shrank back in his seat. Killer put his head on Rincewind's knee.

"What are you buttering up to him for, boy?" Lucks asked. "He's the enemy!"
Rincewind looked rather relieved. "Seems to have taken a liking to me."

"My own dog, I can't believe it" Lucks sighed. Killer ran over to her and whined a bit.

"Oh no you don't…traitor." Killer went back to Rincewind.

"C'mon, then, Rincewind…let's go" Lucks growled.

They headed off through the yard and down the road. Rincewind struggled to keep up with Lucks, who was moving at a fast gait.

"So, besides getting bananas for your precious librarian, how did you end up in the Shades?" Lucks asked.

"I thought we went through this already?" Rincewind asked.

"We did, but I'm asking you again," Lucks said.

Rincewind sighed. "I just got lost."

Lucks nodded. "And the fact that the Shades is very far from Unseen University means nothing to you, or are you just that disoriented?"

He sighed. "Ihaveagamblingproblem" he mumbled.

"Huh?" Lucks asked. "I don't speak mumble."

"I have a gambling problem," said Rincewind, "I'm a compulsive gambler, I spend my money and get nothing back and get chased into the woods by huge men in their underwear demanding that I come back and give them what is rightfully theirs, thank you!"

"And what would that be?" Lucks asked.

"My clothes" he mumbled.

Lucks stifled a giggle. "I'm glad you didn't give them your clothes, we don't take kindly to insults here."

"Ha, hahaha, that's just so funny madam, I can hardly contain myself."

Lucks smiled. "At least you can take a joke."

Rincewind guffawed. "Madam, I am a joke."

Before they left the Shades, Rincewind got hungry again and wanted something to hold him over. Lucks agreed to take him to the marketplace and get him a little something.

While they were looking around, Lucks spotted the boy that ran the caravan she had seen the other day. He was awake now, and making lunch for some people on the skillets he was supposed to be selling. Lucks didn't exactly want to go over there and see him again, especially after the way they had parted yesterday. It was rather embarrassing for her, having never been confronted by a boy before. She tried to keep from making eye contact with him.

"Ah, look, he's grilling something, then! I could use a good bit of a sandwich, then, couldn't you?" Rincewind said, completely foiling her plan.

Lucks sighed. "All right, then."

They headed over to the caravan, Rincewind practically running because he was so hungry, and Lucks just kind of trotting. She didn't exactly want to end up where she was going.

"Add another one on there, if you please sir" Rincewind said to the boy. He turned around. "Right" he said. Lucks felt relieved when he didn't notice her.

"So, how come you're only an assistant librarian, not the librarian?" Lucks asked.

"That position is currently filled."

"By who?"

"A 300 pound orangutan, thank you."

Lucks thought a minute. "How's that possible, then?"

"He used to be human, and then there was a tragic accident that happened in the Library, and he was turned into an orangutan. Funny thing is though, he didn't really want to be turned back, because he said that it was convenient, and he didn't have to talk as much" Rincewind said.

Lucks nodded. "Right." She was beginning to get a bit tired. "Are you a wizard?"

"Yes, I suppose. Kind of. Yes, maybe" Rincewind said.

"Which one of those am I supposed to believe?"

Rincewind didn't respond.

"Oh, I get it, you're one of those wizards who is only used on special occasions, then?"

"I guess you could say it like that."

"What spells can you do?"

"None that can shut you up, I see."

"What spells can you do?"

"I…oh, bugger. I was kicked out of the University because I opened the Octavo. You know, the book containing the eight great spells?"

"Ok…"

"One of them conveniently lodged itself in my head and threatened to come out and destroy the world every time I opened my mouth. Luckily, I got to use it, so we are safe now."

"No way, no freaking way!"

Lucks and Rincewind turned around. The boy was standing there holding Rincewind's food and looking at him like he was famous. "You…you didn't stop the star, did you?"

"Yes, I did, as a matter of fact" Rincewind said, and blushed.

"Wow! I remember hearing about you, how the spell just came right out and all, wow! Rincewind the wizard at my caravan! Here, the food's free!" he said, handing it over. He looked at Lucks as he gave it to him and smiled, starting to say something. Lucks took the opportunity.

"You stopped the disc from being destroyed? The big red star? You stopped it?" she asked.

"It appears to be that way," Rincewind said, cramming his mouth full.

"Hey, would you like a sandwich too? I should have offered you one the other day when you stopped those thieves, but you left before I had the chance…you want?" he asked Lucks.

She blushed despite herself and nodded. "Sure" she mumbled. He smiled and turned to fix her a sandwich, looking back at her once before he started to grill.

"What's your name, then?" the boy asked.

"Lucks" she said. "And yours?"

"Haun" he said.

"Does that stand for something?" Lucks asked as Rincewind hungrily tore through his sandwich. He burped. "That's disgusting," Lucks said.

"Yes, actually. My whole name."

"Your entire name, then? What is it, for the god's sake?"

"Harry Anderson Underhill Nesbitt. My parents really don't like the name Harry so they just use me as an acronym" Haun said.

"Hmm" Lucks said. He handed her the sandwich and she dug in. After a while she burped herself.

"Disgusting, madam?" Rincewind asked.

"Yes" Lucks said. Haun smiled.

"So, where are you all headed?" he asked.

"This git's gotten himself lost and is trying to get back to Unseen University where he belongs…the librarian's assistant" Lucks said.

"It's a noble position, I'll have you know. Not everyone gets to serve a 300 pound gorilla these days" Rincewind said, finishing up his sandwich. "We should be heading along, you know, madam."

"I know. I'm eating as fast as I can" Lucks said.

Haun looked up. "What are you gonna do when you get there, then?"

"Explain to the Librarian why I'm 3 days late in getting his bananas, beg for my job back, and get Lucks some transportation home, I suppose" Rincewind said.

All of a sudden, Haun's head shot up. "You need transportation?"

"Wouldn't mind it," said Lucks.

"Let me come with you! Please, there's no future here for me, if I got to Ankh-Morpork I could actually make something of my life! Plus, I've got this caravan I can drive you home with! Please, please let me come, I'm good company too…"

"…And a good cook" said Rincewind.

"Precisely!" Haun finished.

Lucks thought a minute. It was against her better judgement, but what the heck.

"All right, then" she said. "Get packed."