Let it Go

Let it Go

Fred rolled over in her sleep with a soft cry. Her hand groped across the bed. Her slumber became more restless until she bolted upright with a gasp.

Fully awake now, Fred stared sadly at the empty half of the bed. Wrapping a robe around herself, Fred wandered down the hall to the living room area she and Angel had set up in the next room over.

Biting her lower lip, Fred sank into a chair across from the couch where Angel was sleeping, the cast from the wreck still on his arm. His leg had only been fractured and had healed in just a few hours but his arm had been shattered when he reflexively threw it up to shield himself from the on-coming truck. The injury was one that taxed even vampiric healing.

Angel stirred under the weight of Fred's gaze. He blinked, and then opened his eyes. "I must have fallen asleep while I was reading again," he said apologetically.

Fred got up and walked across the room to straighten a picture on the wall. With her back to Angel she said. "I don't like being lied to."

Angel silently fussed with his cast for a few moments and Fred added. "Not even lies of omission."

"What do you want to know?" Angel sighed.

"Why are you here?" Fred asked.

"Because I love you," Angel replied.

"But you're sleeping on the couch because you loved her first," Fred said softly, moving on to the bookshelf.

For a long time the silence in the room was broken only by the faint sounds of Fred rearranging the books.

"Yeah," Angel admitted finally.

Silence descended again.

Fred sat down across from Angel. "You're here except you aren't and you aren't there either. Where are you Angel?"

"Lost," Angel sighed. "It was never supposed to be like this, what I felt, what I feel for Buffy was never supposed to come in conflict with what I feel for you. I can't love two people at once, not like this, not without hurting everyone involved. I don't want to hurt you Fred, or Buffy either."

"It's going to hurt, but keepin' us all in limbo, in nothingness; it makes it worse. You said you're lost, then I think you should go find yourself," Fred said her eyes shining wetly.

"Fred…"

"Go."