Past Times

Past Times

Dawn poked her head into Buffy's room, rolled her eyes then stepped inside and slouched nonchalantly against the doorframe.  "Will was right about you," she said.

Buffy looked up from the box of keepsakes she'd been going through.

"You're scare of living," Dawn continued.

"You don't have any right to say that to me," Buffy snapped setting aside the box and standing to glare at her sister.

"Why not, it's true," Dawn replied.  "If you're so brave then why are you up here sighing over the stuff Angel gave you in high school instead of at the mansion talking him out of packing."

"What?" Buffy exclaimed.

"Angel is leaving," Dawn said, speaking very slowly as if to someone mentally challenged.

"Now?  Already?  Why?" Buffy stammered.

Dawn sighed in disgust.  "You're right, it's only been a week and you haven't even invited him inside the house.  He won't let any of the rest of us ask him in.  when he tries to patrol with you, you bawl him out for distracting you and for acting like you can't take care of yourself.  When he stops by the house you're always in the shower.  If I were him I'd worry you were turning into one of those fish-guys from the swim team."

"It hasn't been that long," Buffy protested.

"How would you know?" Dawn demanded.  "You sit up here all day staring at that ring.  It's not even the ring Angel gave you, you lost that one."

"I didn't loose it!" Buffy shouted. angrily.  "And how do you know what I keep in my box, it's private!"

"So's your diary, but when has that ever stopped me?" Dawn asked.  "What are you going to do?  Put on the ring, the cross, get the jacket out of the back of the closet and pretend you're sixteen again and it's all simple or are you going to go talk to Angel?"

"Why don't you mind your own business Dawn?" Buffy growled.

"'Cause I'm sick of the poor-me routine.  Will practically tore his heart out of his chest to give you this chance and you're throwing it away like so much garbage.  I used to hate Angel for the way he hurt you, but now I think I'm starting to understand.  It's not that he hurt you so badly that you never recovered, that's just an excuse you use so you never have to risk your heart again because you're a coward."

Buffy started to protest but Dawn simply rose her voice and continued.  "You haven't been the same since he became Angelus.  You've tried to keep every guy at arms length since that night, even Angel."

"That's a lie!  I still loved Angel, even after what happened," Buffy exclaimed.

"'Angel and I are just friends.' 'I couldn't be around Angel anymore.' 'I needed some time away from Angel.'  Sound familiar?  Everyone always assumed Angel issues are why you kept Scott, Riley and Will lock out, but Angel's here and there isn't any clause.  So why don't you just deal with those issues, one way or another, instead of hiding in your room?"