The rain covered the window as my tears covered my face. She was gone, gone
forever, and I couldn't do anything about it. I slammed my fist into the wall
next to my bed. "Damnitall," I screamed. "Love, why did you have
to do that?"
Flashback
The knife felt so cold against my skin as I held the blade to my throat.
"If you kill yourself, I'll have to kill myself, too." I cried,
watching her tears poor down her cheeks as she cocked the gun. She shook her
head and squeezed her eyes shut. "Don't... Don't you do that...
Don't!" I screamed, my last "Don't" covered in the noise of the
gun shot.
End Flashback
I cringed as I remembered the explosion of the gun mixed with the guttural cry
from my throat. I remembered how I dropped the knife and rain to her side,
holding her long past her last breath. Wiping the tears out of my eyes, I turned
on the radio. It was Fuel playing "Hemorrhage (In My Hands)". 'God,' I
thought, 'Please, anything but this. I'd even rather listen to Shaggy, then
this.' I couldn't change the station, and the music didn't stop.
"Don't fall away, and leave me to myself. Don't fall away, and leave love
bleeding in my hands...."
The music played along, and I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table.
Looking at the shelf parallel from my refrigerator, I saw her picture. I reached
and picked it up, staring deeply into those brown eyes. Tears came again, and
lightening flashed bright in the night sky. All noise vanished as I grasped the
long blade of the knife and began to tear into my skin, as though it were
butter. A gorgeous red trickle of blood grew as I drew the knife over the major
vein in my arm. Shortly, a deep, warm pain coursed through my body, leaving me
at peace and at rest. I switched hands, and repeated the procedure on my other
arm. The red trickle, then the pain. I sighed and lay down onto my couch. I
reached for a piece of paper, anything at all I could write on. It turned out to
be an advertisement. I wrote, in my own blood, "Goodbye." Slowly
fading out of consciousness, I muttered, "I'm coming, Angel. Please, wait
for me!"
