I'm losing her

Disclaimer: Don't own them and if I did there would be no virus.

A/N: Inspired by Vertical Horizon "Miracle". I hate the virus but… This is a companion piece to "Big Yellow Taxi" giving us Logan's viewpoint on the virus.

And all you really need

Is everything you could never be

And so you'd give it all

For a miracle

I keep telling myself that it's all good. Everything is going to work out in the end. Max isn't dead. She's alive and she's back in Seattle. I need to hold on to that fact. I need to hold on to the 30 seconds we had of being back together. The 30 seconds beforethe virus from hell hit me. The major miracle has happened. Now we only need a minor one. Then we can be together the way we need to be. I have to keep the faith and hold on to that belief. It's even more important that I do since Max seems to be having a hard time with it.I'm losing her. I can feel her slipping away from me every day. I thought it was bad losing her before. This is worse.

This time she isn't dead. She's alive but farther from me than ever. Those bastards at Manticore infected her with a virus.Not a virus that will harm her, one that will harm me. One that will kill me if she touches me. It almost did.So now she's afraid to be around me. She's distancing herself. Doesn't she realize that she's still killing me? Doesn't she realize that I don't care about the risk? That I wanted to die when I thought she was dead? That without her my life is worthless to me?

You never really know

What it is

Not until it goes

And if it comes again

It's a miracle

I can wait. I don't have to touch her right away. Just being around her and listening to her voice, watching her smile, laughing at her smart-ass comments is enough for me. For now. It's so much more than I expected to have again. I can be patient. I can wait for a cure. I have faith. As my mother said, "the universe is right on schedule" I have to believe. After all she already came back from the dead. What's a virus after that?

But what you miss is love

In everything below and up above

And could she bring it all

A miracle

I just don't know how to let her know that. She's putting up her walls again. The ones that finally broke down that night a few months ago. The night she confessed to me about her heat cycles and about what she had done. She truly opened up to me that night and I opened up to her. Two "pathetic" excuses sitting on the floor, all of our defenses down, all of our weaknesses and imperfections laid right out for the other to see. It was frightening but it was also wonderful. I looked into her eyes and saw the love shining through. I kissed her and tasted her sweetness and warmth. I felt truly complete for the first time in my life. She did too. I know she did.

It's taken so long to get it right

Could it be so wrong

To maybe find someone

A miracle

That's why I won't give up on her. I've had the failed relationships, the false loves. I know this is the real thing. It's worth fighting for. She doesn't know that yet. She knows there's a connection but I don't think she quite understands it. She has no experiences to compare it to. In many ways she's so young and innocent, even thought in other ways she sometimes seems older than I am. Somehow I have to get through to her, make her talk to me. I can't let her go like this. I know we will find a way around this thing and I will somehow make her know that too.

Is there a trace

Inside her face

Of a lonely miracle

And so you wait

And lie awake

For a lonely miracle