Jerry Springer: You stole MY Imaginary items
Jerry walks onto the stage.
Jerry: Hello. I'm Jerry Springer. Today the topic is 'You stole MY Imaginary Boyfriend"
Liz: I'm here because my friend Barbara stole my imaginary boyfriend Jake.
Crowd Boo's
Jerry: Well lets bring out Barbara.
Barbara walks down the stairs and on to the stage.
Barbara: Hey Liz... why do you still cling to Jake when it is obvious that he is MY boyfriend.
Liz jumps up
Liz: THAT IS NOT TRUE! JAKE WAS MINE FIRST! I'm the one who made him up so he is rightfully mine.
Jerry: Let's bring out Jake
Doors open and Jake's friend Russ comes down.
Russ: Jake says 'Hi.'
Barbara jumps up and runs over to Jake and hugs the air
Barbara: I love you Jake.
Russ: Jake says 'Get off of me.'
Barbara lets go
Barbara: BUT I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME...
Liz: No he obviously loves me
Liz runs over to Jake and hugs him
Barbara: NO BITCH HE LOVES MEEEEEEEEEEE!
Barbara runs over and starts attacking Liz
Liz: OWWWWWWWWW!
Liz starts to attack Barbara. Steve runs out and breaks up the fight.
Jerry: Please girls sit down.
Barbara sits between Russ and Jake and Liz sits on the other side.
Russ: Jake says he has a confession. 'I don't love any of you. I love Barbara's old imaginary friend Jamie.
Door opens and Jamie's friend Tori walks down
Crowd boo's
Tori: Jamie says 'You can all burn in Hell.'
Barbara: Jamie... how could you... YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Tori: Jamie says ' Keyword, WAS'
Crowd boos some more as the two invisible people hug... but no one can see it.
Barbara runs over w/ Liz and starts attacking Jamie and Jake. All you see is Jamie and Liz punching and kicking the air. Steve runs over and breaks up the fight.
Jerry:... Our next guest says that her friend stole her Imaginary Dog... Her story next.
Jessie: Yeah I was all like walking down the street and then my Ex-Friend James was all like 'Hey… gimmie dat dog beyotch' and I was all like no so then he raped me and it sucked.
Jerry: Yes you have a comment.
Fat Lady: Um this question is for Jessie. Aren't you a little old to be having an imaginary dog?
Barbara: And aren't you a little to fat to be wearing that out fit?
Crowd claps...
Jerry: Calm down Barbara.
Barbara sits down.
Jerry: Well let's bring out James.
James: Ya'll jest haters. Sew shut da bleeeeeeeeeeeeeep up
Jessie: James how could you... and where is little Jackson.
James: I sold him to Taiwan
Jessie: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!
Jessie runs over and tackles James
Jessie: THEY PROBOBLY ATE HIM YOU BASTARD
Steve runs over and punches James then pulls of Jessie as the crowd applauds
Jerry: OoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooKay. You have a comment.
Bill Clinton: Yes this is for James. Why did you rape her?
James: Becuuuuuz I Can.
Bill: Fair enough.
Jerry: Next is Sam. Now Sam says that his friend Matt ate his imaginary dinner. What the BLEEP where do you find these weirdo's?
Camera guy shrugs
Jerry shakes his head: Anyway let's bring out Sam.
Sam walks out and sits down
Sam: Yeah I was at an imaginary McDonald's and I bought my Imaginary Big Mac. Well I went to the imaginary bathroom and when I came back my friend Matt was eating my dinner.
Jerry: Matt... Come on out
Matt walks out: I didn't do it. My friend belongs in a mental institution.
Guy: Well you belong in a mental institution to come out here and say that when half the audience is from a mental institution.
Jerry: Well said. We will back after a message from our sponsors.
Jerry walks onto the stage.
Jerry: Hello. I'm Jerry Springer. Today the topic is 'You stole MY Imaginary Boyfriend"
Liz: I'm here because my friend Barbara stole my imaginary boyfriend Jake.
Crowd Boo's
Jerry: Well lets bring out Barbara.
Barbara walks down the stairs and on to the stage.
Barbara: Hey Liz... why do you still cling to Jake when it is obvious that he is MY boyfriend.
Liz jumps up
Liz: THAT IS NOT TRUE! JAKE WAS MINE FIRST! I'm the one who made him up so he is rightfully mine.
Jerry: Let's bring out Jake
Doors open and Jake's friend Russ comes down.
Russ: Jake says 'Hi.'
Barbara jumps up and runs over to Jake and hugs the air
Barbara: I love you Jake.
Russ: Jake says 'Get off of me.'
Barbara lets go
Barbara: BUT I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME...
Liz: No he obviously loves me
Liz runs over to Jake and hugs him
Barbara: NO BITCH HE LOVES MEEEEEEEEEEE!
Barbara runs over and starts attacking Liz
Liz: OWWWWWWWWW!
Liz starts to attack Barbara. Steve runs out and breaks up the fight.
Jerry: Please girls sit down.
Barbara sits between Russ and Jake and Liz sits on the other side.
Russ: Jake says he has a confession. 'I don't love any of you. I love Barbara's old imaginary friend Jamie.
Door opens and Jamie's friend Tori walks down
Crowd boo's
Tori: Jamie says 'You can all burn in Hell.'
Barbara: Jamie... how could you... YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Tori: Jamie says ' Keyword, WAS'
Crowd boos some more as the two invisible people hug... but no one can see it.
Barbara runs over w/ Liz and starts attacking Jamie and Jake. All you see is Jamie and Liz punching and kicking the air. Steve runs over and breaks up the fight.
Jerry:... Our next guest says that her friend stole her Imaginary Dog... Her story next.
Jessie: Yeah I was all like walking down the street and then my Ex-Friend James was all like 'Hey… gimmie dat dog beyotch' and I was all like no so then he raped me and it sucked.
Jerry: Yes you have a comment.
Fat Lady: Um this question is for Jessie. Aren't you a little old to be having an imaginary dog?
Barbara: And aren't you a little to fat to be wearing that out fit?
Crowd claps...
Jerry: Calm down Barbara.
Barbara sits down.
Jerry: Well let's bring out James.
James: Ya'll jest haters. Sew shut da bleeeeeeeeeeeeeep up
Jessie: James how could you... and where is little Jackson.
James: I sold him to Taiwan
Jessie: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!
Jessie runs over and tackles James
Jessie: THEY PROBOBLY ATE HIM YOU BASTARD
Steve runs over and punches James then pulls of Jessie as the crowd applauds
Jerry: OoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooKay. You have a comment.
Bill Clinton: Yes this is for James. Why did you rape her?
James: Becuuuuuz I Can.
Bill: Fair enough.
Jerry: Next is Sam. Now Sam says that his friend Matt ate his imaginary dinner. What the BLEEP where do you find these weirdo's?
Camera guy shrugs
Jerry shakes his head: Anyway let's bring out Sam.
Sam walks out and sits down
Sam: Yeah I was at an imaginary McDonald's and I bought my Imaginary Big Mac. Well I went to the imaginary bathroom and when I came back my friend Matt was eating my dinner.
Jerry: Matt... Come on out
Matt walks out: I didn't do it. My friend belongs in a mental institution.
Guy: Well you belong in a mental institution to come out here and say that when half the audience is from a mental institution.
Jerry: Well said. We will back after a message from our sponsors.
