Jerry Springer: You stole MY Imaginary items

Jerry walks onto the stage.

Jerry: Hello. I'm Jerry Springer. Today the topic is 'You stole MY Imaginary Boyfriend"

Liz: I'm here because my friend Barbara stole my imaginary boyfriend Jake.

Crowd Boo's

Jerry: Well lets bring out Barbara.

Barbara walks down the stairs and on to the stage.

Barbara: Hey Liz... why do you still cling to Jake when it is obvious that he is MY boyfriend.

Liz jumps up

Liz: THAT IS NOT TRUE! JAKE WAS MINE FIRST! I'm the one who made him up so he is rightfully mine.

Jerry: Let's bring out Jake

Doors open and Jake's friend Russ comes down.

Russ: Jake says 'Hi.'

Barbara jumps up and runs over to Jake and hugs the air

Barbara: I love you Jake.

Russ: Jake says 'Get off of me.'

Barbara lets go

Barbara: BUT I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME...

Liz: No he obviously loves me

Liz runs over to Jake and hugs him

Barbara: NO BITCH HE LOVES MEEEEEEEEEEE!

Barbara runs over and starts attacking Liz

Liz: OWWWWWWWWW!

Liz starts to attack Barbara. Steve runs out and breaks up the fight.

Jerry: Please girls sit down.

Barbara sits between Russ and Jake and Liz sits on the other side.

Russ: Jake says he has a confession. 'I don't love any of you. I love Barbara's old imaginary friend Jamie.

Door opens and Jamie's friend Tori walks down

Crowd boo's

Tori: Jamie says 'You can all burn in Hell.'

Barbara: Jamie... how could you... YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND FOR PETE'S SAKE.

Tori: Jamie says ' Keyword, WAS'

Crowd boos some more as the two invisible people hug... but no one can see it.

Barbara runs over w/ Liz and starts attacking Jamie and Jake. All you see is Jamie and Liz punching and kicking the air. Steve runs over and breaks up the fight.

Jerry:... Our next guest says that her friend stole her Imaginary Dog... Her story next.

Jessie: Yeah I was all like walking down the street and then my Ex-Friend James was all like 'Hey… gimmie dat dog beyotch' and I was all like no so then he raped me and it sucked.

Jerry: Yes you have a comment.

Fat Lady: Um this question is for Jessie. Aren't you a little old to be having an imaginary dog?

Barbara: And aren't you a little to fat to be wearing that out fit?

Crowd claps...

Jerry: Calm down Barbara.

Barbara sits down.

Jerry: Well let's bring out James.

James: Ya'll jest haters. Sew shut da bleeeeeeeeeeeeeep up

Jessie: James how could you... and where is little Jackson.

James: I sold him to Taiwan

Jessie: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

Jessie runs over and tackles James

Jessie: THEY PROBOBLY ATE HIM YOU BASTARD

Steve runs over and punches James then pulls of Jessie as the crowd applauds

Jerry: OoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooKay. You have a comment.

Bill Clinton: Yes this is for James. Why did you rape her?

James: Becuuuuuz I Can.

Bill: Fair enough.

Jerry: Next is Sam. Now Sam says that his friend Matt ate his imaginary dinner. What the BLEEP where do you find these weirdo's?

Camera guy shrugs

Jerry shakes his head: Anyway let's bring out Sam.

Sam walks out and sits down

Sam: Yeah I was at an imaginary McDonald's and I bought my Imaginary Big Mac. Well I went to the imaginary bathroom and when I came back my friend Matt was eating my dinner.

Jerry: Matt... Come on out

Matt walks out: I didn't do it. My friend belongs in a mental institution.

Guy: Well you belong in a mental institution to come out here and say that when half the audience is from a mental institution.

Jerry: Well said. We will back after a message from our sponsors.