So, ah, two years, eh? Possibly. It's a long time. Anything could happen...
Rated: Fiction T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 34,646 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 1 - Updated: Oct 21, 2001 - Published: Nov 26, 2000 - Status: Complete - id: 123411
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The Journey: Chapter OneDEDICATION: This is going to be almost
as long as the fic! Firstly, the RatPak, because this would never
have gotten finished without them. Jayemonster, without you, I would
never have finished the first chapter. And of course, Cammy, the
honorary RatPakette, because I promised you a Frank/Rachel fic. Sorry
it took so long, and I hope it is worth the wait! Sonia, tireless
long-suffering betareader who mercilessly guillotined all my redundancies
(Bad that! Off with it's head!!). Couldn't have done it without
you babe... what will you do in your spare time now you don't have me emailing
you, desperate to know if Manly Beach has steps or not??
DISCLAIMER: The characters and situations in this
story that you recognise do not belong to me. They belong to Hal
McElroy, Southern Star Productions, and the writers of the particular episodes
I have borrowed from. Anything you don't recognise is mine, and I
fully exercise my right to it.
SPOILERS: Tomorrow Never Comes, Goes With The Territory,
Mr Medium, New Kid On The Block, A Day at the Office, Kaddish, Reunion,
In The Blood.
SONG LYRIC DISCLAIMER: None of the song lyrics belong
to me. I have borrowed them (without permission) to illustrate my
words, with many, many thanks to their original authors. There are
so many song lyric credits that I have put them each on their own chapters.
SONG LYRIC CREDITS 1: Pieces Of The Night (Gin Blossoms),
Why Can't This Be Love? (Van Halen), Tonight (Def Leppard), The Day You
Went Away (Wendy Matthews), Don't Turn Around (Ace of Base)
FEEDBACK GROVEL: I spent
two years writing this story. Please take a few minutes to send
me some feedback at lotus79@startrekmail.com
or, alternatively, you could just sign the guestbook at the end.
(Or both if you like, I'm not fussed ;)
LAST WARNING: This chapter
has an R rating.
The Journey
Rachel slowly drifted. As she approached consciousness,
she became aware of an empty feeling in the pit of her stomach that usually
followed a night of alcoholic overindulgence. This morning, however,
it meant a lot more. Frank was leaving.
Her eyes opened, slowly bringing into focus a heap of
covers on the other side of the bed.
She remembered drinking champagne with Frank, poring over
navigational charts as he pointed out where he was going. Then he'd
kissed her... or had he? No, they'd been interrupted. Mick
had come looking for her, with a case. Damn work.
The heap of covers moved. Hard to tell if she'd
imagined it or not--the spinning of the room made it impossible to tell
what was moving and what wasn't.
Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a groan,
and a dishevelled head appeared. Blue eyes met blue. Belatedly,
it occurred to Rachel this was not *her* bedroom.
She *had* come back. She had gone off with Mick
and done her job, and as soon as that was done she had come back.
She remembered now.
He had kissed her; she could almost feel the warm taste
of his mouth on hers. She'd kissed him back. And plenty more
had gone on after that.
Frank smiled, nervously, "Ah, did we...?"
What do you remember if at all Only pieces of the night It seems so distant But still only half the night away
"I reckon we must've," Rachel answered, scratching her
head, "But I don't remember anything about it," she lied.
"I'm hurt. Am I that forgettable?" he asked, with
a look of such dismay that she laughed and threw a pillow at him.
"Hey!" he yelled. She laughed even harder, so he
pounced on her, and started tickling for dear life.
Rachel yowled in frustration, squirming to get away.
In the course of her struggles, the doona managed to slip downwards, and
Frank's hand grazed the side of her naked breast. Laughter vanished.
Rachel quickly pulled the doona back up to cover herself. A shiver
ran down her spine. The cold light of day did nothing to dispel the
sexual tension in the air.
Contact is all it takes To change your life, to lose your place in time Frank drew away, colouring a little. "Sorry," he
apologised, "I guess I'd better go and shower or something so you can get
dressed?"
"Yeah," Rachel answered, and politely looked away as he
stood up. When he bent to pick up his trousers however, she turned
back, almost against her will, and watched him pull them on. Her
breath quickened, and she quickly looked away again, before he noticed.
What good would it do now to admit how she felt? His mind was made
up.
~~ * ~~
When Frank had finished showering, Rachel had already
dressed and poured two cups of coffee.
"You made coffee?" he asked, surprised.
"Well, you're leaving--it's a special occasion.
Just don't get used to it."
He laughed. "Scout's honour."
"As if you were ever a scout, Frank!"
"I was!"
"Yeah, right."
The silence became uncomfortable.
"I've got to go to work soon," Rachel stated.
"Will you come and see me off?" Frank asked.
She nodded, suddenly feeling like crying. She swallowed
the feeling, and forced herself to smile. "Yeah, of course.
I'll meet you there before you go."
As she stood up to leave, she felt the urge to hug him,
to hold on and never let go; but she fought it. Instead she picked
up her cardigan and put it on. "You got any idea where I left my
car keys?" she asked Frank, scratching her head.
He shook his head. "Nup."
"Helpful, Frank, very helpful," she said dryly.
"We aim to please," he chirped.
Rachel patted her pockets, just to double check.
Great. She'd have to go look for them. Giving the kitchen floor
a cursory scan, she couldn't see them, so she figured the next logical
place to look was Frank's bedroom.
"Ah, Frank?" she asked, "D'you mind if I go have
a look in the bedroom?"
At least he had the grace to look as embarrassed as she
felt. The absurdity of the question, after what had just happened,
had occurred to him too. He nodded.
She left him at the table and headed up the stairs.
After a thorough search of the bedroom floor failed to
reveal the missing keys, Rachel's eye fell on the still-tangled doona.
The idea of looking for her car keys in Frank's bed gave her the strangest
feeling.
Before she disturbed the bed, however, a memory flashed
through her mind. The sound of a set of keys hitting a hard floor
and sliding... and something else.
Frank's eyes gazing feverishly into her own, and the feather
light touch of his hand on her spine. His mouth...
Tonight, give me love with no disguise Tonight, I see the fire in your eyes
Rachel shivered involuntarily. The mystery of the
missing keys was solved.
Leaving the covers where they were, she headed back to
the kitchen.
Frank looked up as she reappeared. "Found them?"
he asked.
"Not exactly," she replied. She crouched down to
peer under the fridge. Spying the missing keys, she tried to fit
her hand under the fridge to get them.
"Frank, you wouldn't happen to have a nice handy long
thin object with a hook on the end of it would you?" she asked.
"What?" he asked, getting up to see what she was
doing. "How did they get under there?"
"I think I threw them under there," she told him.
Oh, yeah," he said, remembering. "When we were on
the..." He cleared his throat, deciding not to finish the sentence.
"Ah... Long thin object with a hook on the end of it, eh?"
He picked up a back scratcher from the top of the fridge
and passed it to her.
"Got 'em," she told him triumphantly, pulling the keys
out from under the fridge. Standing up, she realised Frank hadn't
stepped away. He stood about an inch in front of her, looking into
her eyes. For a second, Rachel couldn't breathe; afraid the smell
of him would destroy her self-control.
Frank's hand darted up to touch Rachel's cheek almost
of its own free will. His mouth was suddenly dry, and he absently
moistened his lips with his tongue.
Rachel let her breath out in a rush. She felt like
a leaf caught in a dust storm, acting without a will of her own.
His mouth was just as warm and inviting as she remembered
it.
"Rach," he breathed, pulling away.
"It's okay," she whispered. "I know you're still
leaving."
His eyes bored into hers for another interminable moment,
and for the first time since she'd known him, Rachel felt the years between
them. His deep, deep eyes made her feel like a schoolgirl again.
He pushed her up against the fridge, his kiss becoming more demanding.
The keys dropped to the floor, forgotten, as her hands reached up to pull
him closer still.
"Let's skip the bench this time," she whispered.
Without warning, Frank bent and knocked her knees out
from under her, swiftly drawing her up into his arms. He smothered
her cry of protest with another breathtaking kiss, before whispering, "Do
you know how long I've been waiting to do that?"
Rachel couldn't help but giggle; the move was so corny.
Frank carried her upstairs and put her down on the bed,
sweeping the blankets onto the floor. There was plenty of heat in
the room without them.
For a long while after, they lay still in each other's
arms. Neither wanted to pull away and hasten the inevitable goodbye.
"You're going to be late for work," Frank ventured finally.
Rachel sighed. "I suppose you want to beat the tide,"
she said softly.
Frank looked at his watch. "I've got about forty-five
minutes," he told her. "Will you come and see me off?"
She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I'll meet
you there in thirty," she told him.
He stood at the door to watch her leave, and Rachel felt
his stare like an icy-cold hand on her back until she was out of sight.
~~ * ~~
Pulling into her own driveway, Rachel yanked up the handbrake
and headed inside without shutting her car door.
Going straight to her bedroom, she pulled a suit from
her cupboard, hung it up on the back of her door and started stripping.
She'd gotten down to her underwear before she collapsed
on the bed in tears.
How could he leave?
How could she stay?
She knew the answer. As much as she was going to
miss Frank, she wouldn't leave David for anything.
She looked at her watch. Ten to nine. She
had twenty minutes before he left.
Rachel wiped her eyes roughly and dressed. Jumping
back in the car, she headed for Footloose's mooring.
~~ * ~~
Hey, there's not a cloud in the sky. It's as blue as your goodbye And I thought it would rain on a day like today. Hey there's not a cloud in sight. It's a blue as your blue goodbye. And I thought that it would rain On the day you went away.
He was sitting in the boat, waiting for her. He
turned, hearing her footsteps. "You know, shorts and t-shirt would
have been more appropriate," he joked.
"I'm sorry."
"Oh, it's all right, you know," he told her, "I
understand."
"You know it's ah..." She trailed off. "It's
a thousand reasons," she told him, finding her voice again.
"A thousand? Well, you know that's a lot of reasons,
eh?"
She nodded, biting her lip. "I just didn't want...to
let you go without..." Her voice cracked, and she couldn't continue.
If you wanna leave, I won't beg you to stay And if you gotta go darling, maybe it's better
that way I'm gonna be strong, I'm gonna do fine Don't worry about this heart of mine
"Saying goodbye?" he finished for her.
She nodded, the lump in her throat almost choking her.
Frank threw his arms around his partner, holding her tightly.
She buried her head in his shoulder and sobbed. He felt like crying
himself, but he choked it back.
But don't turn around 'Cause you're gonna see my heart breaking Don't turn around I don't want you seeing me cry Just walk away It's tearing me apart that you're leaving I'm letting you go but I won't let you know
She let him go and took a step back, sniffling.
"Two years," she whispered. "It's such a long time."
"I bet you won't even miss me."
Rachel punched him lightly on the arm. "You know
I will."
He laughed sadly, and threw his arms around her again.
She hugged him back, squeezing him as tightly as she could. She felt
more tears sting her eyes, and tried to hold them in. 'Just a little
while longer' , she told herself.
"Rach," he asked. "I gotta know... did it mean anything
to you?"
She nodded. "Yeah, it did. I'm glad it happened."
"Me too." He bit his lip, and then he leaned forward
and kissed her gently.
They separated, staring at each other. "Give us
a hand?" he asked.
She followed him around to the other side of the boat,
watching as he climbed aboard and untied the mooring rope. He handed
it to her and she wound it up slowly in her hand as he reached in and switched
on the motor.
I wish I could scream out loud that I love you I wish I could say to you 'don't go'
"Send us a postcard, won't you, from, ah..."
"Venezuela?" he offered.
"Brisbane!" she told him, smiling crookedly.
He laughed. "You take care," he told her.
She nodded, and he began to pull away from the pier. She followed
him as far as she could, feeling the tears begin to roll down her face.
He waved at her, and she waved back, not stopping until he was no more
than a dot in the distance.
As he walks away he feels the pain getting strong People in your life they don't know what's going
on Too proud to turn around He's gone