Title: Love is a strange thing don't you think?
Declaimers: not mine, don't sue, have no money!
Notes: Another in the suits and suitors series, things are actually happening now!! Shock horror!
Feedback: yes please!!!!!!! I lurve feedback.
****
"Josh."
"What about him?"
"Well I was hoping you could tell us," said Leo looking impatiently at Sam.
"I have no idea, he's just…we're just not quite as close as we used to be."
"That's an understatement" came the quiet comment from Toby standing in his usual position at the back of Leo's office.
"I don't know what's going on with him Leo, if I did I would do something."
"You sure it's not…" CJ didn't have to finish the sentence it was something that was playing on each of their minds, what if it was the PTSD?
"I don't know CJ." Sighed Sam, he dropped his hands to his sides and sat in the chair opposite Leo.
"Well whatever, he should be here by now." Leo sighed and looked at the others "Well we might as well get on without him, CJ when he gets here you can brief him and then kick his ass severely!"
"Yes sir"
****
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Joshua Lyman you are a politician, you're supposed to be able to lie…you're failing miserably right now." Josh looked away from the window and tried to smile at Maggie who was lying on his bed trying to gesture for him to come back their.
"I'm sorry I just…have things on my mind."
"Like what?"
"Just…stuff. I don't know."
"Josh I love you, you can tell me anything, you know that."
"I know."
"So tell me."
"Sam and Donna."
"Sam and…who?"
"Donna my assistant."
"Oh yeah, what about them?"
"They're…going out, they've been going out for four months and two weeks now." he mentally kicked himself when he realised he'd been counting the days since Donna had told him.
"So?"
"So they never told me!"
"Alright, alright. There's no need to yell. Besides they're fully grown adults, they can do what they want. They don't need your permission."
"But they're two of my best friends, and they didn't bother to tell me for four months."
"So this is why you've been avoiding Sam."
"I haven't!"
"What about Friday, or when he rang up. I had to cover for you. Are you punishing them or something?"
"What? No, no coarse not! It's just…Donna…"
"Donna what?" Maggie watched as his eyes turned back to the window and you could almost feel that he was a million miles away, or maybe just a few blocks.
"Nothing, nothing. It doesn't matter," he said shaking his head.
"Well then, come back to bed." he smiled and started towards her when he suddenly caught sight of his clock on the table.
"Oh God!!! Shit!!"
"What?"
"I'm late, I'm late. We had a meeting about….oh shit, half an hour ago!" and with that he'd disappeared through the door.
Maggie lay there looking at where Josh had just been stood and couldn't help but feel angry. This Donna, this girl, was the thing that had kept Josh in this state for the past two weeks, even if he couldn't see it, she could. This girl, she was the problem. She was the one thing standing between Maggie and a wedding ring. Because even though Josh may not have realised yet, he was certainly going to soon and then she'd lose him. She had to do this…Donna had to be got rid of.
****
"Josh! CJ is…"
"I know I know Donna. Please just don't say it." he said rushing into his office never glancing back to see if Donna had followed because he already knew she would.
"She's seriously pissed." Josh put his hands up and looked as if she'd just stabbed him.
"I said don't say it."
"Sorry."
"Does she want me to go and see her?" Donna nodded
"As soon as you get in." Josh sighed and slumped in his chair, he was about to get toasted. This week was big, very big. This meeting had been their "war cabinet". Or that was what Sam had called it. But he could look on the bright side, at least it wasn't Leo who wanted to see him.
"So why were you so late?"
"Sorry what?"
"Why so late?"
"Oh…I overslept."
"Oh."
"Oh?"
"It's just that you don't usually oversleep in fact I've rarely ever heard you say you overslept."
"Well I did ok! Everybody has to do something once, like you taking your lunch hour." he'd put that in quietly. He'd worked out from what little Donna had told him that when she'd gone for that lunch break she'd really gone to see Sam and not an old friend from Wisconsin. Donna blushed red but said nothing and walked out.
Donna walked out of the room to find someone sitting at her desk.
"Can I help you?"
"Definitely." said Maggie smiling "I'm Maggie Jenson."
"Oh, Maggie. Would you like to see Josh, he's ok at the moment but if you wait until CJ's seen him he might not be very ok anymore." Maggie gave her a weak smile and stood up.
"No, its you I came to see. Can we go somewhere to talk?"
"Erm…sure, we could go to the cafeteria. It's usually quiet around now." Donna said looking very nervous, Maggie smiled even more
"Great. Shall we go?" Donna tried a smile but just lead the way to the cafeteria.
"So what is it that you want to talk about?" Donna asked stirring a cup of coffee.
"I just wanted the chance to get to know you better. I mean we both spend a lot of time with the same guy and he talks about you all the time." Maggie's eyes watched Donna as her alabaster cheeks flushed and she brought up her coffee mug to hide her face.
"Well, what do you want to know?"
"Oh, everything."
***
"Hey, honey" Josh kissed Maggie absentmindedly as he shuffled papers.
"Hey. So I've been talking with your assistant." with that Josh was alert and watching Maggie carefully
"Donna?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"I wanted to get to know who you employ."
"I don't employ her, the government does. She won't even get me coffee." he mumbles to himself
"Well whatever. Look I don't feel she takes her job seriously."
"What do you mean, Donnas a great assistant."
"Do you know what she was doing when I went to talk to her? She was phoning her mom."
"Really?"
"Yeah." Maggie stood triumphantly with her hands on her hips.
"Hope its nothing major, she doesn't make many calls to her mum." Maggie's hands slipped away.
"Look Josh, I don't like her. She's a conniving little bitch if you want my opinion. She was unbelievably rude to me!" she was shouting now
"She was? What did she say?" now she had him
"Nothing exactly, it was just the way she said things. When I asked her to go for a coffee she acted as if I'd just asked her to give me all her savings. She was so cruel and the way she asked me what it was like working for a senator, it was as if she was putting me down, saying I wasn't good enough if I didn't work in the White House. She is a complete bitch Josh!" Josh sat in his chair looking utterly shocked; this was not the Donna he knew. Maggie fought back the urge to smile, but only just.
"I'll talk to her ok?"
"Thankyou. You know you really are my knight in shining armour." she kissed him passionately on the lips, "See you tonight?"
"Yeah." and with that she walked out of his office and down the corridor with the biggest smile imaginable.
"Donna!"
"You know Josh, I'm seriously considering not coming when you yell like that its just not gentlemanly and…"
"Donna, just stop it will you." he almost snapped. She stopped half way to his desk and stayed there,
"What's up?"
"You apparently."
"What?"
"You and Maggie."
"Yeah we had a great chat."
"That's not how I hear it. Donna why did you act like that?"
"Like what?"
"What has Maggie ever done to you? That was totally unacceptable behaviour."
"Josh, what the hell are you talking about?" she was almost shouting now and realising she turned around and shut the door.
"What am I talking about? Your unbelievably rude and cruel behaviour to Maggie."
"What?"
"All those snide remarks about how she's not as good as us because she doesn't work in the White House. I didn't think you were that kind of person."
"Josh, I'm not! This is all rubbish, bullshit. I never said anything like that. We didn't even talk about that. I don't know what she's been telling you…or why for that matter but we had a very civilised chat. I was never "snide"."
"Well, that's what Maggie told me."
"And you believe her."
"She's my girlfriend, I love her…of coarse I believe her."
"You believe her more than me." now he faltered
"You believe the girl who so quite obviously dumped you for another guy and then came running back when it didn't work out, rather than me who has worked with you and has been your FRIEND for five years or so now."
"Go." only now did Donna realise what she'd said
"Look Josh I'm sorry…"
"Just go. Now." she walked towards him but he turned his chair around. She stood there a little longer before mumbling another sorry and leaving. Josh continued to stare out of the window for what seemed like forever.
****
"Josh! You were supposed to come and explain yourself to me four hours ago!" CJ stormed into his office and was shocked when his chair didn't swivel round as if he'd been electrocuted.
"Josh?"
"Yeah?"
"You ok?"
"Yeah."
"Where were you this morning?" she said more calmly. Finally he turned his chair around and looked at CJ as if he only just realised she was in the room.
"CJ. I'm really sorry I…I…" he seemed to lose his line of thought,
"What's wrong Josh?"
"Nothing it's just…Donna. She asked me who I believed more, her or Maggie and I didn't know." with that CJ sighed, shut the door and sat down opposite the bemused looking Josh.
"I mean it should be obvious, I'm going out with Maggie, I…love Maggie. But I…"
"Love Donna too." Josh looked up at her in shock.
"What?"
"Joshua Lyman, you are in love with Donna Moss, you have been for…God knows how long and you've been in denial about it for about the same period of time."
"What?"
"Josh, come on, why do you think you're so angry with Sam?"
"He didn't tell me…took them four months to tell me they were going out." he mumbled
"You were angry with him because he's going out with the women who you love and you can't stand to see her with anyone else."
"But…" Josh tried to think of a counter argument but couldn't. He just sat there staring at CJ as all these words started to float around his head.
"But…I love Maggie."
"Do you?"
"Yeah…of coarse I do."
"Why?"
"Because…she broke my heart, when she came back…I've loved her for years."
"You'd got over her a long time ago and you know as well as everyone else that she dumped you for someone else."
"She said there was no one else since me."
"Well, she would say that wouldn't she."
"But…"
"Oh for Christ's sake, you love Donna and she loves you, or she did."
"Did?"
"Well she seems fairly attached to Sam, they're going really well." this just sent Josh spiralling, she couldn't stop loving him
"She can't not…"
"Love you? Why, if you say you don't love her?" Josh was stumped now, but slowly a light seemed to shine through his eyes and his face crinkled into a smile
"But I do." CJ smiled
"You do what?
"I do love her. I do! I really do! I have to tell her!"
"Yes!" CJ almost shouted as Josh sprinted to the door and went up to Donna's desk but she wasn't there. He stopped unsure of what to do. He turned around to see CJ leaning in the doorway.
"Well I'll tell her when she gets back," he said quietly.
****
"Hey."
"Hey!" Sam almost jumped around his table and gave Donna a kiss.
"Wow, what was that for?" she said smiling
"Nothing. Just to show you that I love you."
"I know that."
"Yeah but do you realise just how much because I love you more than anyone Donna Moss." he started back towards his desk and pulled something out of one of his drawers.
"What's that?" Donna asked, full of curiosity. But instead of answering her, Sam simply knelt down on the floor. Her hands went up to her mouth as she let out a strangled little yelp.
"Donnatella Moss. Would you marry me?" she dropped to the floor next to him and passionately kissed him while muttering "yes" into his ear. He took her in his arms and smiled.
"Well you just made me the happiest person in the world!"
****
Donna wandered back from Sam's office with a massive grin. She walked along not noticing people staring at this dippy blonde with a sort of stoned smile on her face. She got back to her desk and was just tidying up to go home and get ready to go out when she heard Josh's door open. Her face fell as she remembered their earlier conversation and without even turning around she picked up her stuff and headed for the exit. She was almost out of the bullpen when she heard Josh calling but pretended not to hear him. She hurried towards the car park and was just putting her things in her car when again she heard Josh calling for her,
"Donna wait!" he called running across the car lot
"Why, so you can tell me how unacceptable my behaviour was today…again!"
"Donna…I…" he stopped to catch his breath as he stood in front of her.
"What?" she could hear the impatience in her voice and so could he but he plowed on regardless.
"Donna I love you." he blurted it out so quickly Donna wasn't even sure she'd heard him right.
"What?"
"I love you Donnatella Moss and its taken me till today to realise it. I need you so much. I'm so sorry about before. I was…stupid. But I love you, not Maggie. I love you." he stopped to catch a breath and see her reaction but before she could speak another voice sounded from behind them.
"What?" Josh twizzled round.
"Sam. I…"
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Look Sam, this is between me and Donna."
"Like hell it is. This is my fiancée." Josh was about to speak but his words stuck in his throat and all he could do was turn and look imploringly at Donna.
"Its true." she said almost inaudibly.
"Of coarse it's true. Donna and I are in love."
"But…"
"Josh you had your chance and you missed it. We are together, we are happy and it's none of your business."
"You used to be my friend." Josh pleaded, Sam looked away for a second
"I never stopped being your friend, you just got jealous."
"You can't do this. You don't deserve her."
"Oh really? Come on Donna get in the car." this was more than Josh could cope with and he took a huge swung at Sam. His fist connected with Sam's jaw and left him sprawled on the floor. But he was up quickly and let his fist swing into Josh's belly, winding him and leaving him staggering. Sam turned around to leave but Josh ran up behind him and attacked again. This time neither broke away and they punched and kicked their way across the car park, ending up on the floor. Donna suddenly finding her voice after the initial shock of seeing the two of them like that screamed,
"For Gods sake, STOP!" Sam stopped in mid-swing and, after five seconds where nobody moved, he clambered off of Josh and lay on the ground next to him.
"Donna." Sam gasped ready to explain.
"Sam, not now. Just go, please. I need to talk to Josh." he stood up and looked at her for a minute before staggering away to his car.
"I call you tonight," he said before disappearing into his car and driving off leaving Donna stood in the middle of the floodlit car park over Josh's wheezing body. She stood watching him for a minute and then turned away and stood by her car. Finally he stood up and walked over to her. He wanted to touch her, to reach out to her but now he didn't know what to do. Finally she turned her face to him and he could see the tearstains that ran across her face.
"Look…"
"Don't say anything."
"I'm sorry, I just thought…"
"Thought you could just come up to me and say…those words and everything would be alright? Josh you can't do that. You can't do that to me."
"Don't you…don't you love me?"
"Of coarse I do!" she cried and yet more tears fell across her delicate skin, "I have for five years and you just decide that today you're going to realise! I gave up hope. I thought you'd never feel the same. And now this…"
"Then if you love me…"
"But I love Sam now don't you see. We're engaged, he asked me twenty minutes ago. I accepted him Josh. I'm marrying him."
"I don't understand. You said you love me."
"I did, I always will but I've moved on now. I love you so much Josh, but things have changed. I've changed. Christ, why couldn't you have worked this out a year ago, six months ago! Why?"
"Because I'm stupid."
"That's for sure."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."
"You haven't, you've…you've just got really bad timing." Josh tried to laugh but couldn't he had no voice, he had no heart. She'd just ripped it from him. If he thought Maggie had hurt him then that was nothing. He felt dead, numb, as if he had no soul because she had always carried it for him and now she was walking away from him and taking his heart and his soul with him.
"Do you love Sam?"
"Yes." she sobbed
"As much as you loved me."
"I…I love him in a different way. I feel secure with him. He shows me how he feels, I know where I am with him. I love him, I do."
"But do you need him?" Josh cried, he felt a tear forming but didn't care. Donna started to form an answer but couldn't.
"Because I need you. I need you so much. I'm sorry I have lousy timing but I love you, I love you more than a secure feeling. I loved you my entire life, I didn't always know it was you but I've always loved the idea of you. My entire life before meeting you was just the lead up to that day. And you need me too, I know you do." he looked up at her and took her fingers in his hands knotting them with his. She stared down at the intermingled fingers and let two tears fall on them. Finally she shook her head and moved away tearing her hands from his.
"No."
"Donna please!"
"No, I'm marrying Sam Josh. I can't do this anymore. I love you…but I can't do this. I'm going with Sam. I love him." Josh turned away, ashamed of himself and unsure of what to do. He heard her car door open and finally she called,
"I'll hand in my resignation tomorrow morning." then the door closed and she was gone.
The End
