c2reluctanthero

title: Reluctant Hero
author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

summary: After surviving another attempt to break into Hogwarts, Dumbledore plans, Snape heals, and school tries to get back to .

It had taken a full month to get Snape up on his feet and mobile again. Even then he was weak and Dr. Barnes would not let him return to teach. It was once more quiet and peaceful and the Potions Master began to feel safe, coming out of the darkened bedroom.
He would wanderer from bed to couch to lounge either reading novels written by a muggle named Hillerman or staring at some far off point deep in thought. Effort was required to hold any conversation. The mundane day to day exertions were sometimes too much. But Albus Dumbledore was a patient man and Severus Snape had friends that cared for him. He was not left alone, always at least one other person would be nearby, watching, waiting.
Lupin and Harry were still feeding him energy daily and he still received Dr. Barnes' energy potion every two to three days. He had responded well to both potion and feed; the nausea that plagued him early on had diminished and he was finally eating almost enough to satisfy Barnes and Dumbledore.
Snape was now curled tightly into the corner of the couch, hiding his head beneath the quilts. Dr. Barnes had given him a dose of energy potion earlier leaving him sleepy and dopey. He had come to hate the mood altering nature of the drug and was currently struggling against it.
I'm not surprised at his reaction, Barnes said, but it's
not good thing for him to do. He'll take longer to heal.
When did he start fighting it? Dumbledore asked, hanging up his cloak. He'd been gone now for several days, attending the first of the trials being held for the death eaters that had attacked the school. Returning he found Barnes shooing the DADA Professor out of the rooms and the Potions Master completely withdrawn.
He was pretty upset last week, but I talked him through
the worst of it. Then the day you left for the ministry I
gave him another dose. I left Remus to sort it out with him
but it didn't work, the doctor sighed as he packed up.
I forget how overwhelming Remus can be on a mission.
I think his positive we can overcome' attitude was way
too much and Severus just folded.
I'll sit with him, said the Headmaster, maybe he'll
relax with me.
He was doing ok with just me when it was starting to
take effect, but Remus came in, he shook his head,
and before I could intercede he'd tried to jolly Snape
up. Severus just ran across the room from us and burrowed
into the couch. I was going to go back and sit with him
once I regained the quiet.
Dumbledore sighed. He knew exactly what Barnes meant by Lupin be overwhelming. He was a wonderful person, but couldn't curb his intense nature at times. All Snape needed was quiet, maybe a warm body to sleep against or soft hand touching him. Lupin liked to talk and interact, constant reassurance and dialogue. All too much for an overwhelmed Potions Master.
He walked to the couch. Dr. Barnes joined him and leaned over the back, gently touching the hidden man.
Severus? Remus is gone now, you can come out, the doctor tried. He received no response. He nodded to Dumbledore who pulled the lounge close, sat on the end and placed his hands on Snape's back.
Severus? Come child. You need to rest, the sound of the Headmaster's calm voice had an immediate effect. Snape pushed the covers off and turned nearly leaping into the older man's arms snuffling. With Barnes' help he managed to sit back into the lounge with a lapful of trembling Potions Master clutching at his robes.
sshh, child, it is ok. I'm sorry I was gone so long, he slowly rocked the distraught man who was panting and clinging tight, head pressed against the older man's chest.
Barnes quietly placed his hands on Snape's back, carefully sending warmth and healing calmness. The breathing slowed, fingers began to fidget, rubbing the fabric nervously instead of clutching. Soon they stopped and Snape drew in a long breath and released it finally comforted. A little voice drifted up.
it whispered, I'm so sorry.
More warmth, more gentle rocking.
It's ok, Severus. You've been hard pressed of late, Dumbledore said kindly.
This medicine is good for you, but it can be difficult
to relax and accept it, Barnes said quietly.
I can't, again the small voice, I can't be strong.
Dumbledore knew exactly where that had come from. A Lupin-style pep talk. Well meaning, but missed the mark.
You don't have to be strong now, child. We will be
strong. You need to rest. Just rest and let the
medicine flow through you.
Dumbledore watched Barnes as he increased the energy and continued to run gentle hands over Snape's back.
We're here, Severus. We made it through, you and I.
Albus will help you through today. Just one day at a
time,
came the tired response. Eyelids blinked against sleep but soon lost as the Headmaster wove a sleeping charm. Barnes lightened the flow then stopped, hands finally stilling. He sat back on the couch and watched the exhausted professor breath in and out.
He's already worried about retaliation, Barnes mentioned.
Had nightmares from what Remus said.
I shouldn't have stayed overnight at the ministry, Dumbledore sighed.
He sleeps much better if I'm here at night.
said the doctor, That's true. But wasn't Fudge
rather insistent?
The Headmaster considered this observation. Yes, the Minister had been very insistent. There had been no real reason he had to stay in London, not when he could travel easily by floo back and forth. Even apparate if needs be.
I must admit, if only to you, I do not understand why
the Minister of Magic wanted me to stay in town, he frowned in thought.
He has been increasingly insistent this passed year, since
you discovered Voldemort was on the rise again after the
TriWizard's Tournament, Barnes commented. The older man nodded but did not speak. Barnes pushed up from the couch.
I need to get back to town. I think Severus will be ok
as long as you're with him. He'll get another shot in two
days. I'll work my schedule out so I can be here in case
you can't.
Thank you, Jeffrey, Dumbledore said smiling at him,
I'm glad you're taking care of Severus. Returning the smile, Barnes patted him on the shoulder, retrieved his bag and left the room.
After an hour passed Lupin managed to slink back into the room and sidle over to the couch. Dumbledore smiled.
Ah, Remus. Would you order up some tea and something
to eat? I missed lunch today and now dinner. Happy to do something, Lupin summoned Dobby and relayed the request. He came back to the couch and looked at the Headmaster.
Did I do something wrong, Albus? Jeffrey hustled me out
and wouldn't explain anything, he asked quietly.
I think Severus isn't quite ready to be up and about. He's
having trouble with the energy potion.
But, he's been hiding' for a month, Albus! I think it's time
he gets involved again. At least start moving out of this
room and back into the school population, Lupin asserted.
Dumbledore sighed. Yes, it had been a month. But Snape was not ready. He was not willing to push the Potions Master. Neither was Barnes. It wasn't time.
Yes, I'm aware you think it's time. But it isn't. Severus
needs a little longer. I, for one, believe he has earned
all the time we can give him, he idly ran his hand through the sleeping man's hair. Lupin watched. Again, he felt outside.
Dumbledore watched the emotions chase across the DADA Professor's face. He knew there was more to Lupin's concern' than just getting Snape back up on his feet. There was this, a subconscious desire, to have the same relationship with Dumbledore that Snape had. Lupin certainly didn't know this, but there it was. Even if all things were equal and Lupin had the long friendship built through adversity that Snape had, the relationship would be different.
Remus, he'll be just fine. Bill Weasley is doing a great job
as a substitute Potions professor. He's managed to keep
Slytherins together with Sinistra's help. There's no need
to push Severus. He can sleep the rest of the year as
far as I'm concerned.
I suppose you're right, Lupin conceded.
Dr. Barnes feels the same way, Remus. Time to heal and
time to prepare. He's a wanted man, now.
Lupin's eyes widened a bit. He kept forgetting that fact. Snape might be a hero to the school, but his cover was blown. He was sure that the death eaters were all waiting to capture him for Voldemort's pleasures. Plus there were those on the other side, the good' side, that would like to capture him for their own purposes.
I forget. Everything seems the same and everything
has changed.
Dobby was back, the smells of dinner filled the room. Dumbledore's stomach growled as he scented the air. It smelled good. Snape shifted in his sleep, hearing the noises. His eyes opened as he tried to decided where he was. A scratchy beard itched his face and he stilled.

Yes, Severus, he ran a hand over the sleepy man's back. He arched very slightly and sighed, fingers whispering over the older man's robes.
Missed you, he managed softly.
I missed you, too, Severus. Dr. Barnes said you've
been trying very hard, Dumbledore soothed. Lupin just stared, unnoticed. Snape relaxed more, if that were possible, melting into the warmth.
Why were you gone so long? he asked. Lupin sighed loudly.
I told you, Severus, he had to go to the trials in
London. Fudge requested him, Lupin was somewhat annoyed.
Snape flinched, curling up into himself, releasing all physical contact he could, away from the warmth. He'd been selfish, he knew that, but he missed Albus. It couldn't be wrong to miss him, could it? He started to push away, to hide elsewhere when a tremendous flow of warmth entered him and he moaned piteously.
Dumbledore glared at Lupin as he took Snape in hand, drawing him out and spread across his body once more. He murmured comforting nonsense to the Potions Master until he had fully resettled.
Severus, I missed you and I'm sorry I had to be gone so
long. I'm back now; I'll be right here, he soothed, although his stomach rumbled again. Snape listened and a small smile painted his face.
You're hungry, he said delighted.
Yes, I missed both lunch and dinner, admitted Dumbledore.
Dobby has brought up something that smells very good,
would you like to eat with me, Severus?
Nodding, Snape slowly tried to stand, required a small charm from the Headmaster to make it to the table. He sat shivering slightly as a blanket was wrapped around him. The food did smell good and he managed to eat what was placed before him.
Afterwards he fell asleep pillowed in the Headmaster's lap. Lupin watched carefully, not having spoken since before dinner. Once Snape was safely asleep, Dumbledore turned his considerable attentions to him.
Remus, you really must allow Severus time, he glanced at the sleeping man.
Everyone has their breaking point. He's skating along the
edge ready to fall. I can't loose him, Remus. He's my best
friend, he looked directly at Lupin. There. He'd said it.
Lupin looked at the two of them.
I figured he was, even when you two were arguing a lot
before the attack, Lupin allowed.
You're my friend too, Remus. I just need to protect
Severus. I know him; I know how far I can push him; I know
exactly what he will do for me; I know what makes him happy
and I know what can tear him apart, he gently stroked loose hair back from the sleeping man's mouth.
It's a frightening thing, having this knowledge of another
person. It's the most intimate relationship I've ever had.
He knows me as well; every little bit. I doubt there are
any secrets left between us .
They sat in silence for a long while, each pursuing their own thoughts. Snape twisted in his sleep, clawing up from some dark place. Dumbledore gently called to him until he was awake enough to throw the evil dream off.
Damned dreams, the Potions Master snarled. His friend chuckled.
You'd prefer little fluffy kittens and cherubs? he teased.
Only if I could blast em like a shooting gallery, Snape huffed. Lupin had to chuckle, too. Snape glanced over at their companion and started to sit up. Dumbledore rubbed his shoulder giving him permission to stay, but the stubborn man attained an upright position. Whatever troubled him in his sleep it seemed to include his hands because he wiped them ineffectually over his thighs trying to rid himself of some unwanted memory. The Headmaster took each hand in turn and rubbed them, dispelling the feeling.
You could probably use a bath, Severus, he said.
You'll feel a lot better. Lupin stood and held out a hand.
Let's go, Severus. I'll help you, Snape took the proffered hand and allowed himself to be pulled up and walked into the bathroom.
Dumbledore sighed. The whole situation was difficult. He was reluctant to leave Snape alone with anyone else. He knew he was being ridiculous. At least the trails were on recess for a few days. Even when they resumed he was not spending nights in London.
Snape was very quiet for another day. Lupin was bouncy, trying to engage him in a variety of activities and discussions. The Potions Master would smile slightly and return to reading or simply stare out of the windows on the warm spring day. Dumbledore watched the interaction, or lack thereof, wondering what was going through Snape's mind.
Lupin now was pressing Snape to come down to a celebration in the great hall.
Come on, Severus! You've been up here over a month.
Everyone wants to thank you properly for saving the
school, he wheedled. Snape simply lifted an eyebrow. From what they'd gathered, the man did not feel very heroic. Nor did he feel particularly inclined to a celebration.
I'll bet the Ministry of Magic would even send some
representatives. You could get an award for bravery, now the DADA professor appealed to Snape's desire for fame. But surprisingly Snape wasn't going for it.
I was not feeling particularly brave, Remus, he actually spoke, then settled back onto the couch with his book. The conversation was over and Lupin gave up yet again. He huffed out of the room going down to teach class. Dumbledore looked at his reluctant friend.
You will ultimately have to return to the world, Severus, he said kindly. No reply. Sighing the Headmaster returned to his correspondence.