Wishing her Alive

Wishing her Alive

By *~A White Rose Petal~*

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Takes place when Hitomi is probably around 11 or so… MAMARU IS ABOUT 8 YEARS YOUNGER THAN HITOMI!!!

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We're home after the service. The service that my wife of so many years down to the ground… I'm looking around my family, very thankful that I still have them all with me in this awful time of need for them.

I cried so hard at her funeral, you would have thought I was just a newborn baby with an old man's body! When I saw her lying in that coffin, looking like she was just sleeping and would wake up if you just gently shook her…

I took my eyes away from her face and looked at her hands that crossed each other. On top was a wedding ring…the wedding ring that I gave her… So many memories came flooding into my head…I even remembered the first time we met…it wasn't the most 'romantic setting', that was for sure…

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A young girl was running towards me at a quick speed, at least for a girl in a dress. She seemed to be lightly crying over something. She then ran into the light so that I could see she was the outcast of school.

She takes one look at me and glares. Apparently getting ready for another 'attack'. I'm starting to feel awfully sorry about doing all of that, she is beautiful…

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I see her in Hitomi's eyes. I'm feeling so…heartbroken that her grandmother died… these last months were devastating. How I lived through it is a mystery. The pendant that she always kept close to her, no matter where we were going or how long we'd be gone, was given to Hitomi.

I was so happy to see that pendant go to my youngest and only granddaughter. I couldn't help but feel dissapointed though, it seemed like that pendant was so close to her heart…I wished that she gave it to me… Bah! Who am I kidding? I'm but an old widower wishing that my wife gave me something that she gave to her granddaughter? Besides, what would I do with the pendant? But still…

Hitomi's crying by her mother still. Poor child. She only knew her grandmother for eleven years! It wasn't even fair to count that considering she claims she could remember 'nothing' till she was three and older. Hitomi…You look so much like your grandmother it's scary.

Your grandmother was a spunky one. Though your mother looks so much like her too, she acts like me… You act like your grandmother… Bah! I must have repeated that one hundred times! By gosh! I'm talking to 'Hitomi' through my head! What am I thinking? That she can hear me? I sincerely hope not!

I let out a little chuckle. I take a quick glance around, nobody heard it. Good, they'd think I'd gone mad if they did. I suddenly notice that my daughter has left the room with little Mamaru who was confused and through the whole service kept on asking 'why is grama in comfy box?' poor little tyke… I look over to Hitomi and watch her holding the pendant. She must think she's the only one in the room because she stared at the pendant like a serious high school student (Ha!) studying.

She all of a sudden looks up at me and smiles. No tears or anything. She just smiles. She came over and patted my hand.

"Grandma's in a better place grandpa." She said. She heard someone coming down the stairs and went back to her seat and started to cry again. What just happened? Did it just happen? Maybe I am going mad…

A few hours later everyone started to go their separate ways. The Kanzaki's were the last to leave. I shook the son-in-law's hand roughly and hugged him. I hugged my daughter as she kissed me on the cheek while passing Mamaru to me. I hugged him tightly.

My daughter asked if I was alright and made sure I would be alright by myself. I reassured her the best I could but she still looked curious.

She's more like her mother than I really ever noticed…

She made sure to send Hitomi out as soon as possible. I said I would as they walked out of the house and into the car. I could here it starting and was about to call Hitomi down until I saw her rushing down the stairs. She said a quick goodbye grandpa but then stopped right before she went out the door. She turned back to me and said seriously,

"Grandpa, grandma is in a better place! She wants to be here with us but she can't! It's not her choice! No matter what happens in the future, she wants you to know that she loves you and will think about you everyday. Stop wishing her alive! It won't work and will make you both hurt!" Was I really 'wishing her alive' as Hitomi put it?

Hitomi was about to leave but then looked back at her grandpa suddenly.

"Goodbye grandpa, see you?" That unnerved me so much…

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A/N: This will be the last part for those of you who don't want to see the next… It's when um… well, just read and see…