Leaving You Behind
By Magma

A/N: This story is dedicated to my good friend, Lazy Lava. I actually completed 2 chapters in one day!:

Disclaimer: See Prologue

''= thoughts

Chapter Three - . . . no matter how much you try to hide it. . .

Syaoran stood in front of the place he had been dreading. His home. Its walls loomed up around him, seemingly higher and higher, until he was trapped like a bird in a cage, with no place to go. And then the ground came rushing back to him. The black iron doors with protective wards opened beckoningly, and taking a deep breath, Syaoran walked in.

Red on black walls surrounded him, or was it black on red? Servants were everywhere, doing menial tasks, talking to each other about the recent death of Master Li. A portrait of the late Master Li was surrounded by black, and all the servants and family were wearing black shoulder ties, giving the whole mansion a feeling of death and despair[1].

Syaoran wore one of these black ties also, on his left arm. In even darker black thread, it had the Li Clan's symbol embroidered onto it. A circle split into 4 sections, with the words, Fire, Wind, Water, and Earth in each section. And in the center, crossing over all 4, Soul. Syaoran turned around the corner, and as he was walking down the hall, he heard one of his sisters reciting a poem[2].

There are no tears to be shed,
for all the dead bodies of war.
There are no people to hear,
all the cries of the mourning.

When people die,
what do you feel?
What do you say?
Do you cry?

Everything around me,
everything I see,
I grow to despise it,
all this fakery.

I want to cry. . .
This world is falling apart at the seams.
I want to die. . .
All I see are broken dreams.

How far have we fallen,
to the depths of hell.
All the dreams we have broken,
never to be fufilled.

People do not have enough tears to cry,
for everyone who dies everyday.
We only have enough tears to cry,
for our loved ones, our friends, our family.

Pain, hatred, deceit,
all these I see.
Where is the peace they tell of?
Where can we be free?

Everywhere I go,
I see their faces.
Everywhere I turn,
things are in disgraces.

We have fallen, far,
never to see the light again.
We have fallen, far,
never to seek redemption.

People die everyday.
but who cries for them?

No one.

All I see is crying,
over all the broken things.
All I see is hate,
for everything.

Tears are falling from the skies,
tears are falling from my eyes.
Look around, see the lies,
Look around, see the lines?

Is this suffering?

Why is this so?
Why is there pain?
Because pain cannot exist without bliss.
Because peace cannot exist without war.

They bind us together,
whether we like it or not.
See the wind,
searching for the days long sought?

Because life cannot exist without death.
Because darkness cannot exist without light.
And this is the world we live in,
a contrast of everything we believe in.

Is there any hope?

Kyuukai?

'A poem of despair. . .' Syaoran's sister, Mei Hua[3], turned to face him. Syaoran glanced over his sister, analyzing the changes. Her beautiful face was marred by tracks of tears, her eyes bloodshot. Her skin was an unhealthy pallor of white, and her body seemed thin and gaunt. Dark rings around her eyes told of her despair of her father's death, and the recitation of the depressing poem just served as proof. "Syaoran?" she whispered, her voice as quiet as a breeze in summer. She was too tired to speak in a normal tone of voice.

"Yes?" he replied quietly, while sitting next to her on the edge of the marble fountain.

"Look at the fountain," she commanded. He did. Carved from marble, enhanced with magic, it took in light and shown with that inner glow that drew one to look closer at it. Their father had made it when he was younger, as a present for their mother. It showed a black lotus, its petals unfurling to the sun, the center of the flower spouting out water. The water appeared black and murky, even though it was actually clear as crystal. The lotus changed colors depending on the mood of its surroundings. Black seemed fitting for the recent events. "Do you understand?"

Syaoran shook his head. He didn't know. Mei Hua looked at him in that gentle way of hers, and told him, "Remember this. It will be important later. You will understand when the time comes." She then stood up, kissed him on the cheek, and started to walk back to her quarters. Over her shoulder, she said, "I have to go. Take care of yourself little brother." Syaoran just followed her image until she turned the corner to the West Wing of the mansion. She had left a flower on the rim of the fountain. Syaoran picked it up gently, twirling the stem by his fingers. It was an actual black lotus. And at the center of its petals, was a single blood drop.

Syaoran trudged back to his quarters, holding the black lotus in one hand, his handbag in the other.
Putting his handbag on the floor, he wove a spell of preservation around the black lotus, and laid it on his bed stand. Overcome with weariness, Syaoran feel asleep instantly, not bothering to change. The black lotus opened its petals a bit more, the blood drop in the center growing a tiny bit larger. Tomorrow, Syaoran would have to face what he dreaded most. His family. All of them. He didn't want to, but he had to.

In Syaoran's mother's room, she unbound her long black hair, and looked at a picture of her only son. She smiled bitterly, and touched the picture with her right hand. She then sat down at her desk to write her will, proclaiming Syaoran as the heir to the Li Clan, and who in the family would get her belongings. She wrote a letter of regret to her daughters and son, tears blotting out parts of the words as she cried. And then she wove a spell of death, and killed herself, still crying. Only ashes remained. Only broken dreams.

To Be Continued. . .

[1] - It is traditional in China when someone dies in a family, that all members of that househole wear these black ties on the upper arm, below the shoulder. I shouldn't call them ties, but that's the only way to describe them. Some households cover the dead family member's portrait with black. Others don't. It depends. They do that for a year if they do hang black on the portrait. The household only wears the shoulder ties until the funeral is done.

[2] - This is a combination of 4 poems I wrote, with a few changes.

[3] - Mei Hua means Beautiful Flower in Mandarin Chinese. Should I change her name?

End Notes: I have a soundtrack for this! ^^; Or sorts. Go to www.audiogalaxy.com if you like mp3s. All the songs below you can find on that site, but I really suggest you buy the cds. Angel Sanctuary - Sanctus. Ayumi Hamasaki - Endless Sorrow. Ayumi Hamasaki - Seasons. Ayumi Hamasaki - Trauma (Jam X and De Leons DuMonde Remix). Enya - Only Time. Gackt - Fragrance. Ghost In the Shell - Floating Museum. Macross Plus - Santi-U. Macross Plus - Torch Song. Macross Plus - Voices (Cello Version or Japanese Version). Noir - Premonition (Track 15 OST2 - by Yuki Kajiura). Rurouni Kenshin - The Wars of the Last Wolves. Rurouni Kenshin - Quiet Life. Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing - Last Impression. Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing - Rise From the Ashes. Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing - Sorrowful Memory. Shoujo Kakumei Utena - Kami no Namae wa Abraxas. Vampire Hunter D 2001 - Opening.