If I owned this I wouldn't be writing fan fiction.
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Katze: Hello and welcome to another day TrueChat with Harry Potter characters. Today we will not have an audience; there will be a soundman. We have nine new people with us and, Mr. Sneak Away, Neville Longbottom. Our new guests are: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Charlie Weasley, Serverus Snape, Crabbe (hey what's this dudes name?), Professor Sprout, Flour Delacour, Rubis Hagrid, and since I couldn't think of any more my friend Gabriel King. First we meet Neville... (Neville on)
Neville: How are you today? Would you like a cup of tea?
Katze: A cup of tea that would hit the spot.
Neville: If I didn't know better, I might think you're going soft.
Katze: *menacingly* If you think that then you are DEAD wrong!
Neville: I think I shall go get the tea. (runs off fast)
Katze: That was weird. Now we have Crabbe. (Crabbe on)
Crabbe: Doh-hee, do I sit here? (points to chair next to Katze)
Katze: Oh fine. (Crabbe sits) Now come out Lupin. It's fine the curtains are closed. (Lupin on)
Lupin: *quietly* Do they know that I'm a *very quiet* werewolf?
Katze: Well duh! Everyone knows that. You even have fans because you are one, you want me to name a few.
Lupin: No thank you.
Katze: And my friend Reah (Reah on)
Reah: (shaking hands) Hello, long time since I saw you.
Katze: Before the show. (cracks up)
Reah: (starts to shake Crabbe's hand but decides not to because he is picking his nose, so she shakes hands with Lupin) So you are the famous Lupin.
Lupin: Yes. And how are you?
Reah: *nicely* I'm fine thank you. (Lupin smiles)
Katze: Cut that out! Now we have Snape. (Snape on)
Snape: Hey! How are y'all doin'. I have a real good joke, here it is: Why shouldn't you go in the jungle between two and four in the afternoon?
Katze: Why?
Snape: Because that's when the elephants are jumping out of the trees. (Katze chuckles) Now why are the pigmies so short?
Katze: Because they went in the jungle between two and four in the afternoon! *chuckle* That's a joke sheep would like.
Lupin: *very puzzled* Why?
Katze: Because it's baaad. (silence) Honestly you people need a sense of humour. *bad mood* Fine you guys can be party poopers. BLACK GET OUT HERE! (Black on)
Black: Please treat me like the person I am! So what if I'm a cereal ki... (Katze gives him a nasty look and he sits down)
Katze: (looks at paper) I'm sorry, yesterday I said Lavee was the only ditz-for-brains. I stand corrected there is Miss Delacour.
Flour: (walking on) I couldn't get all my makeup on in time.
Reah: *disgusted* You're wearing about six inches of makeup.
Flour: *frantic* But it's not enough. Need... more... MAKEUP! (starts to search her purse throwing everything that's not makeup)
Katze: (makes the sign for crazy) Now our next guest is Charlie Weasley. (Charlie on)
Charlie: *sounds like the croc hunter* Can't stay for long. I got to back to my wonderful dragons.
Katze: 'Kay. Now Hagrid. (Hagrid comes on with a dragon)
Charlie: Oh what a beaut! Where'd you get 'er 'agid? She must be a twenty footer. (Hagrid and Charlie start to wrestle the dragon to the ground)
Katze: And now to introduce our last guest Professor Sprout. (Sprout on)
Sprout: Hello! How are you? Any ailments? If you do I have some *snigger* medicine.
Katze: Finally a normal set of people. Crabbe what do you think of your character?
Crabbe: I dink it good.
Katze: What is your first name?
Crabbe: (blushes) Mildred.
Katze: What's 6x6?
Crabbe: Mac and Cheese?
Katze: What is Pi?
Crabbe: Pie yummy.
Snape: Don't you think you should ask questions he can answer?
Katze: *meanly* Okay Crabbe, what is the air speed velocity of an unladean swallow?
Black: African or European?
Katze: Both.
Crabbe: The African is *beep*, and the European is *beep*.
Katze: *very mad* Hey soundman what do think you're doing?
Soundman: It wasn't me... (Katze stalks off) really... no... I didn't! Ahhrrrgggg!! (Katze walks on with a sound system)
Katze: We don't have to worry about him anymore. I always wanted one of these. Crabbe, repeat what you said.
Crabbe: The African is *beep*, and the European is *beep*.
Katze: (realizing) The sensor-guy! (walks off again)
(offstage. Katze: What were doing? |Sensor-guy: No one is supposed to know the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. *zap* Now I took it out of his memory. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!| Katze walks back) He he he ha ha ha. Now Lupin?
Lupin: Since everybody knows that I'm a werewolf there is not much to tell. Except that I'm a bit shy and I like to eat dead rats after lunch.
Black: You never told me that, Yuck!
Flour: Zat is so sick!
Snape: *shudder* Figures.
Sprout: Blech!
Charlie: Gross!
Katze: EWWWWWWW!!!!!!!
Reah: Actually its common for werewolves, especially around the full moon.
Lupin: Oh good! I was afraid that it was weird.
Katze: It is weird, and it is soo revolting!
(Reah pats Lupin on the back)
Reah: It's okay. She didn't get any sleep last night.
Lupin: Thanks. (smiles at her)
Katze: Quit it, that's enough to make me sick.
Flour: I zink it's zo romantic.
Katze: Its time for Reah to tell us about herself.
Reah: My name is Gabriel, I'm an American witch. I went to the California School for Witches. I'm 28. I don't use a wand much. And um some people say I'm very pretty, but it can't be true.
Lupin: Oh its true!
Katze: What did I just say? Now about you Snape? Just a second, where's Neville? (everyone ignores her)
Snape: They make a big deal about my appearances. You're nose would be crocked if someone (looks at Black) kept braking it. And I was a sickly child so of course my skin would be very white. And I live for a good joke. Ooo ooo I have another one: What's brown and sticky?
Flour: (finds a stick of lipstick) Lipstick!
Snape: No! Are you really sure you want to know? (hesitant nods) Okay... its... a... STICK!! (Katze groans)
Katze: Black?
Black: What?
Katze: It says here that you are a CEREAL killer.
Black: *crazily* So what? So what if I eat my cereal very cruelly? You have, I bet, eaten your cereal just knowing that you are killing innocent cereal. One of my favorite things to do is strangling those little O's.
Katze: I take back what I said before. Now Flour?
Flour: I'm finished, how do I look?
Black: Beautiful!
Charlie: Ravishing!
Katze: Flour you have on WAY too much makeup. You should take some off, It makes you look like a *sigh* hooker.
Flour: That sounds nice.
Katze: Its not, trust me.
Flour: Why should I trust you? You've killed a bunch of people.
Katze: Avada Kadavera! (Flour dies)
Black: Too bad, she was cute.
Katze: (rolls her eyes) Guys.
Black: What's that supposed to mean?
Katze: Nothing. Charlie?
Charlie: Can't talk now, we got to wrestle 'er to the ground. Oh what a beaut! She's fightin' 'ard. 'agrid look out! (a burst of flame, and Hagrid is reduced to ashes) Crikey that was nasty. (the dragon starts to fly out the window, Charlie jumps on its back) I'm gonna take 'er back to my 'ouse, where she'll live in a simula'ed dragon paradise. (the dragon flies out the window, once its cleared the building Charlie falls off) Crikey this is gonna 'urt! (after the curtain opens Lupin transforms and bite Reah just as Sprout gets the curtains closed)
Reah: What is it with werewolves? Do I have werewolf candy on my ankles?
Lupin: I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!
Reah: What's this the fourth time?
Lupin: Really sorry! Huh? You're a werewolf?
Reah: Yep.
Lupin: Why didn't you transform?
Reah: I make a pill that stops all the unpleasant things. You want to try one?
Lupin: Please. (she tosses him a pill. and he gives her a kiss on the cheek, they both blush) Thank you so much.
Katze: *really ticked* Just stop that will you! This is not a romance, its humour! And that's that!
Crabbe: Doh-hee do I'd get to answer anudder question?
Katze: No not just yet, we have one more person. Sprout?
Sprout: My character is fairly accurate, we both love plants. But the plants I love are poisonous ones. The simple joys of slipping those little weeds into people's foods and watching them keel over and die. *quietly* Shoot I wasn't going to say that.
Katze: Okay we're done with that part and now on to the next bit. I'm going to ask a question and I want a few answers.
First question: What do you think of the other people?
Snape: I don't think any of them has a sense of humour like mine.
Katze: The only people I know with a sense of humour like yours are 10-year-old boys.
Snape: Is that an insult?
Black: I sure hope so!
Katze: *cough* Just answer my question.
Crabbe: I dink day are to smart for deir own good.
Snape: Too smart for my own good, eh?
Too smart for my own good, eh?
Too smart for my...
Katze: Will you shut up Snape?
Second Question: What do you think of me?
Crabbe: Mean.
Lupin: Weird.
Black: Crazy.
Snape: Sadistic.
Sprout: Interesting.
Reah: A strange friend.
Katze: So none of you like me?
Black: Not really.
Katze: Then... you... will... pay...
Reah: Can we have some more questions?
Katze: What's your least favorite part of the books?
Sprout: Any bit with Harry in it.
Black: Any part with Snape in it.
Snape: When Cedric died.
Katze: Why?
Snape: Well he was *mumble*.
Katze: (puts her head in her hand) Ah great. Now what was your favorite part?
Sprout: Any part with me poisoning people.
Reah: The bit about the Shrieking Shack.
Crabbe: I liked when I was smart.
Black: That wasn't you, that was Ron when he looked like you.
Crabbe: *stubbornly* I liked when I was smart.
Katze: (still with head in hand)Please answer.
Black: I loved it when I saved Buckbeak. It showed how brave I am.
Katze: What does Abracadabra do?
Crabbe: Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
Lupin: No one died!
Katze: Of course dummy, I didn't say Avada Kadavera! (Snape dies) Whoops.
Reah: At least we can't blame you for that one.
Katze: What do you mean? Have you been spying on me?
Reah: *uncomfortable* No but Neville was telling us things.
Black: Yea, he said you threw Ginny out the window.
Katze: That little backstabber. (walks over to Black and breaks his wrist) That's for spreading lies!
Black: *whimpering* I want my mummy!
Sprout: Here take this (hands him an herb) it'll ease your pain. (Black looks blank) It'll make your owie better. (Black takes it and eats it. Almost immediately Black keels over and dies)
Katze: Sprout!
Sprout: What?
Katze: Never mind I didn't like him. Where is Neville? (Neville sneaks up behind her)
Neville: Here I am! (Katze turns around) Exipilliarmus! (Katze flies out the window. A muffled word is spoken and Katze flies up to the window and starts to climb in and hits her head on the casement and falls unconscious into the room)
Crabbe: Yah hoo! The meanie is sleepy! (takes a chair and hits Sprout over the head with it and Sprout falls to the ground unconscious) Now de udder meanie is sleepy!
Reah: Let's get out of here before they wake up. (Crabbe and Neville run out fast, but Lupin and Reah stroll out hand in hand)
Katze: (waking up as the last person gets out the door)*sigh* Well this is the third and last day of TrueChat with HP characters.
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Okay just a few last parting thoughts, Reah's my character and you can't have her; you should probably read the first two chapters if you haven't already; I am not really truly a evil little weirdo; look for new installments of TrueChat; and r/r if you want. Please want to, I feed on feedback. Want to or else! Ha ha ha ha.
Thanks to all those nice people who r/r ed my first two.
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Katze: Hello and welcome to another day TrueChat with Harry Potter characters. Today we will not have an audience; there will be a soundman. We have nine new people with us and, Mr. Sneak Away, Neville Longbottom. Our new guests are: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Charlie Weasley, Serverus Snape, Crabbe (hey what's this dudes name?), Professor Sprout, Flour Delacour, Rubis Hagrid, and since I couldn't think of any more my friend Gabriel King. First we meet Neville... (Neville on)
Neville: How are you today? Would you like a cup of tea?
Katze: A cup of tea that would hit the spot.
Neville: If I didn't know better, I might think you're going soft.
Katze: *menacingly* If you think that then you are DEAD wrong!
Neville: I think I shall go get the tea. (runs off fast)
Katze: That was weird. Now we have Crabbe. (Crabbe on)
Crabbe: Doh-hee, do I sit here? (points to chair next to Katze)
Katze: Oh fine. (Crabbe sits) Now come out Lupin. It's fine the curtains are closed. (Lupin on)
Lupin: *quietly* Do they know that I'm a *very quiet* werewolf?
Katze: Well duh! Everyone knows that. You even have fans because you are one, you want me to name a few.
Lupin: No thank you.
Katze: And my friend Reah (Reah on)
Reah: (shaking hands) Hello, long time since I saw you.
Katze: Before the show. (cracks up)
Reah: (starts to shake Crabbe's hand but decides not to because he is picking his nose, so she shakes hands with Lupin) So you are the famous Lupin.
Lupin: Yes. And how are you?
Reah: *nicely* I'm fine thank you. (Lupin smiles)
Katze: Cut that out! Now we have Snape. (Snape on)
Snape: Hey! How are y'all doin'. I have a real good joke, here it is: Why shouldn't you go in the jungle between two and four in the afternoon?
Katze: Why?
Snape: Because that's when the elephants are jumping out of the trees. (Katze chuckles) Now why are the pigmies so short?
Katze: Because they went in the jungle between two and four in the afternoon! *chuckle* That's a joke sheep would like.
Lupin: *very puzzled* Why?
Katze: Because it's baaad. (silence) Honestly you people need a sense of humour. *bad mood* Fine you guys can be party poopers. BLACK GET OUT HERE! (Black on)
Black: Please treat me like the person I am! So what if I'm a cereal ki... (Katze gives him a nasty look and he sits down)
Katze: (looks at paper) I'm sorry, yesterday I said Lavee was the only ditz-for-brains. I stand corrected there is Miss Delacour.
Flour: (walking on) I couldn't get all my makeup on in time.
Reah: *disgusted* You're wearing about six inches of makeup.
Flour: *frantic* But it's not enough. Need... more... MAKEUP! (starts to search her purse throwing everything that's not makeup)
Katze: (makes the sign for crazy) Now our next guest is Charlie Weasley. (Charlie on)
Charlie: *sounds like the croc hunter* Can't stay for long. I got to back to my wonderful dragons.
Katze: 'Kay. Now Hagrid. (Hagrid comes on with a dragon)
Charlie: Oh what a beaut! Where'd you get 'er 'agid? She must be a twenty footer. (Hagrid and Charlie start to wrestle the dragon to the ground)
Katze: And now to introduce our last guest Professor Sprout. (Sprout on)
Sprout: Hello! How are you? Any ailments? If you do I have some *snigger* medicine.
Katze: Finally a normal set of people. Crabbe what do you think of your character?
Crabbe: I dink it good.
Katze: What is your first name?
Crabbe: (blushes) Mildred.
Katze: What's 6x6?
Crabbe: Mac and Cheese?
Katze: What is Pi?
Crabbe: Pie yummy.
Snape: Don't you think you should ask questions he can answer?
Katze: *meanly* Okay Crabbe, what is the air speed velocity of an unladean swallow?
Black: African or European?
Katze: Both.
Crabbe: The African is *beep*, and the European is *beep*.
Katze: *very mad* Hey soundman what do think you're doing?
Soundman: It wasn't me... (Katze stalks off) really... no... I didn't! Ahhrrrgggg!! (Katze walks on with a sound system)
Katze: We don't have to worry about him anymore. I always wanted one of these. Crabbe, repeat what you said.
Crabbe: The African is *beep*, and the European is *beep*.
Katze: (realizing) The sensor-guy! (walks off again)
(offstage. Katze: What were doing? |Sensor-guy: No one is supposed to know the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. *zap* Now I took it out of his memory. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!| Katze walks back) He he he ha ha ha. Now Lupin?
Lupin: Since everybody knows that I'm a werewolf there is not much to tell. Except that I'm a bit shy and I like to eat dead rats after lunch.
Black: You never told me that, Yuck!
Flour: Zat is so sick!
Snape: *shudder* Figures.
Sprout: Blech!
Charlie: Gross!
Katze: EWWWWWWW!!!!!!!
Reah: Actually its common for werewolves, especially around the full moon.
Lupin: Oh good! I was afraid that it was weird.
Katze: It is weird, and it is soo revolting!
(Reah pats Lupin on the back)
Reah: It's okay. She didn't get any sleep last night.
Lupin: Thanks. (smiles at her)
Katze: Quit it, that's enough to make me sick.
Flour: I zink it's zo romantic.
Katze: Its time for Reah to tell us about herself.
Reah: My name is Gabriel, I'm an American witch. I went to the California School for Witches. I'm 28. I don't use a wand much. And um some people say I'm very pretty, but it can't be true.
Lupin: Oh its true!
Katze: What did I just say? Now about you Snape? Just a second, where's Neville? (everyone ignores her)
Snape: They make a big deal about my appearances. You're nose would be crocked if someone (looks at Black) kept braking it. And I was a sickly child so of course my skin would be very white. And I live for a good joke. Ooo ooo I have another one: What's brown and sticky?
Flour: (finds a stick of lipstick) Lipstick!
Snape: No! Are you really sure you want to know? (hesitant nods) Okay... its... a... STICK!! (Katze groans)
Katze: Black?
Black: What?
Katze: It says here that you are a CEREAL killer.
Black: *crazily* So what? So what if I eat my cereal very cruelly? You have, I bet, eaten your cereal just knowing that you are killing innocent cereal. One of my favorite things to do is strangling those little O's.
Katze: I take back what I said before. Now Flour?
Flour: I'm finished, how do I look?
Black: Beautiful!
Charlie: Ravishing!
Katze: Flour you have on WAY too much makeup. You should take some off, It makes you look like a *sigh* hooker.
Flour: That sounds nice.
Katze: Its not, trust me.
Flour: Why should I trust you? You've killed a bunch of people.
Katze: Avada Kadavera! (Flour dies)
Black: Too bad, she was cute.
Katze: (rolls her eyes) Guys.
Black: What's that supposed to mean?
Katze: Nothing. Charlie?
Charlie: Can't talk now, we got to wrestle 'er to the ground. Oh what a beaut! She's fightin' 'ard. 'agrid look out! (a burst of flame, and Hagrid is reduced to ashes) Crikey that was nasty. (the dragon starts to fly out the window, Charlie jumps on its back) I'm gonna take 'er back to my 'ouse, where she'll live in a simula'ed dragon paradise. (the dragon flies out the window, once its cleared the building Charlie falls off) Crikey this is gonna 'urt! (after the curtain opens Lupin transforms and bite Reah just as Sprout gets the curtains closed)
Reah: What is it with werewolves? Do I have werewolf candy on my ankles?
Lupin: I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!
Reah: What's this the fourth time?
Lupin: Really sorry! Huh? You're a werewolf?
Reah: Yep.
Lupin: Why didn't you transform?
Reah: I make a pill that stops all the unpleasant things. You want to try one?
Lupin: Please. (she tosses him a pill. and he gives her a kiss on the cheek, they both blush) Thank you so much.
Katze: *really ticked* Just stop that will you! This is not a romance, its humour! And that's that!
Crabbe: Doh-hee do I'd get to answer anudder question?
Katze: No not just yet, we have one more person. Sprout?
Sprout: My character is fairly accurate, we both love plants. But the plants I love are poisonous ones. The simple joys of slipping those little weeds into people's foods and watching them keel over and die. *quietly* Shoot I wasn't going to say that.
Katze: Okay we're done with that part and now on to the next bit. I'm going to ask a question and I want a few answers.
First question: What do you think of the other people?
Snape: I don't think any of them has a sense of humour like mine.
Katze: The only people I know with a sense of humour like yours are 10-year-old boys.
Snape: Is that an insult?
Black: I sure hope so!
Katze: *cough* Just answer my question.
Crabbe: I dink day are to smart for deir own good.
Snape: Too smart for my own good, eh?
Too smart for my own good, eh?
Too smart for my...
Katze: Will you shut up Snape?
Second Question: What do you think of me?
Crabbe: Mean.
Lupin: Weird.
Black: Crazy.
Snape: Sadistic.
Sprout: Interesting.
Reah: A strange friend.
Katze: So none of you like me?
Black: Not really.
Katze: Then... you... will... pay...
Reah: Can we have some more questions?
Katze: What's your least favorite part of the books?
Sprout: Any bit with Harry in it.
Black: Any part with Snape in it.
Snape: When Cedric died.
Katze: Why?
Snape: Well he was *mumble*.
Katze: (puts her head in her hand) Ah great. Now what was your favorite part?
Sprout: Any part with me poisoning people.
Reah: The bit about the Shrieking Shack.
Crabbe: I liked when I was smart.
Black: That wasn't you, that was Ron when he looked like you.
Crabbe: *stubbornly* I liked when I was smart.
Katze: (still with head in hand)Please answer.
Black: I loved it when I saved Buckbeak. It showed how brave I am.
Katze: What does Abracadabra do?
Crabbe: Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
Lupin: No one died!
Katze: Of course dummy, I didn't say Avada Kadavera! (Snape dies) Whoops.
Reah: At least we can't blame you for that one.
Katze: What do you mean? Have you been spying on me?
Reah: *uncomfortable* No but Neville was telling us things.
Black: Yea, he said you threw Ginny out the window.
Katze: That little backstabber. (walks over to Black and breaks his wrist) That's for spreading lies!
Black: *whimpering* I want my mummy!
Sprout: Here take this (hands him an herb) it'll ease your pain. (Black looks blank) It'll make your owie better. (Black takes it and eats it. Almost immediately Black keels over and dies)
Katze: Sprout!
Sprout: What?
Katze: Never mind I didn't like him. Where is Neville? (Neville sneaks up behind her)
Neville: Here I am! (Katze turns around) Exipilliarmus! (Katze flies out the window. A muffled word is spoken and Katze flies up to the window and starts to climb in and hits her head on the casement and falls unconscious into the room)
Crabbe: Yah hoo! The meanie is sleepy! (takes a chair and hits Sprout over the head with it and Sprout falls to the ground unconscious) Now de udder meanie is sleepy!
Reah: Let's get out of here before they wake up. (Crabbe and Neville run out fast, but Lupin and Reah stroll out hand in hand)
Katze: (waking up as the last person gets out the door)*sigh* Well this is the third and last day of TrueChat with HP characters.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay just a few last parting thoughts, Reah's my character and you can't have her; you should probably read the first two chapters if you haven't already; I am not really truly a evil little weirdo; look for new installments of TrueChat; and r/r if you want. Please want to, I feed on feedback. Want to or else! Ha ha ha ha.
Thanks to all those nice people who r/r ed my first two.
