(c) 2001
~*~
Dear Diary ~ June 1992
Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to know that
ultimate intimacy that a man and woman can achieve. Some nights
I lie awake just thinking about it... wondering... imagining...
dreaming of that special man who has weaseled his way into my
heart. Some nights I dream of my wedding night; what we would
say and do, but always my dreams are cut short with his lips only a
hair's breath away from my own.
Who is this man, you ask? Well, I'm embarrassed to say I
don't really know. We've never met, and my dreams are always
shadowed and less than steamy. We never even kiss. It's so
unfair! Life's unfair or so my cat says every time I complain to
her. She just doesn't understand a young girl's heart...
Okay, okay, so I don't even understand my own heart. It's
just so confusing! I have all these thoughts and emotions running
through me. I hardly have time to sort through them before
another wave breaks upon me. For example, I know this guy; he's
the biggest jerk on the face of the planet, and he always chooses to
tease me. One moment, we're hurling insults at each other, and the
next, I'm admiring how handsome he is or how I'm the only girl
that he ever seems to acknowledge. He's so confusing!
Love,
Serena
~*~
Title: Changing Faces
Author: Mistic
Email: misticlady@hotmail.com
Rating: PG
Season: 1st
~*~
"Serena!" My mother yelled from down stairs, "Dinner's
ready!"
"Be there in a moment, Mom!" I yelled back as I raced
down stairs. I loved food, and my mother's cooking was-and still
is-the best I've ever tasted, next to my husband that is.
"Dad," I stated, kissing my father's surprised cheek as I
passed him. "Mom," I stated softly repeating the move and
reveling in the shock etched into the faces of my loving parents.
"Spore." I teased as I ruffled the sandy, blonde hair of my 11 year-
old brother.
"Well, you're in an awfully good mood, Serena." My
mother, Ilene Tsukino smiled as she passed the rice around,
"Anything out of the ordinary happen today?"
"Nope, not really. Just the normal routine-Miss Haruna
has a hot date, so she lets us out early. Same ol', same ol'."
"That's nice dear," Ken Tsukino, my dark haired, glasses
wearing father, stated off handedly. I knew he was not really
paying attention; his nose was buried in the evening news, and
when he was reading the paper, you could get away with saying
almost anything...
"I know why Serena's in such a good mood," Sammy piped
up, a malicious smile breaking out upon his face, "she was with her
boyfriend-"
Except that...
"That's nice dear-wait a second-boyfriend! What
boyfriend!"
"Oh, brother," I muttered under my breath while shaking
my head, "here we go again."
"I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND!"
"Oh, hee... hee... that's good," my father stated with an
off-handed laugh, burying his nose in his paper once more.
"Although, there is this guy..."
"That's nice dear."
Great. Now, my father wasn't even listening to me. Men.
I thought with a disgusted sigh.
"Serena?"
"Hmm... Mom?"
"Nothing, we'll talk later," she stated with a wink before
turning back to her dinner.
Oh, great! I thought with a mental groan. What did she
want? Was she actually listening when I said I was interested in a
guy? It wasn't even true, but my mother didn't know that; did she?
Well, I thought with a dejected sigh, I'll find out soon enough.
However, soon enough did not come for a few days. After
dinner, my mother had been called to the side of a sick aunt and
was left with little to no time to talk with me. For three nights I
dreaded going home for fear that my mother would want to talk,
and that was something that I wanted to avoid at all cost. Yet, on
the fourth day, my mother pulled me aside after dinner under the
guise of helping her make cookies, but we all knew what that
meant. I would sit on a stool watching her bake and spill my guts
over chocolate chip cookies and milk. It never failed and sure
enough, that's what happened.
"So what's this I hear about you being interested in a boy,"
my mom asked with a friendly smile as she leaned on the counter
and placed another cookie on my plate, "cookie?"
"Uhh... sure," I stammered, taking the cookie and dunking
it in milk. For the next few minutes the only sounds that could be
heard was the thundering of my heart and the crunching of yet
another chocolate chip cookie. All too soon, I gulped down the
remainder of my cookie and suddenly wished I had not finished it
so quickly. I desperately wanted to avoid the subject at hand, but
my mother would have nothing of it.
"So, who is he?"
I couldn't help but gulp at the sheer eagerness that was
etched into my mother's dark, youthful features. She looked just
like my best friend Molly when she was about to pounce on the
biggest gossip of the year, and that was a look that scared the wits
out of me.
"N-no one," I stammered, taking a deep cleansing breath,
"I just wanted to see if Dad was listening the other night. I-I'm not
interested in anyone-honest."
"Oh, come on... I know there's more to it than that.
You're always talking about some new crush to your friends; why
won't you tell me?"
"WHAT??" I fairly shouted, "How would you know what
I talk to my friends about?"
"You do have a rather loud voice, you know, Darling, and
besides, I just happened to walk by one night when you sighed
some guy's name in your sleep. Something about Endy-I
believe. I couldn't hear all of it."
Mental note to self, always lock the door before going to
bed.
"Mom, I have no idea who you are talking about-I-I don't
even know him!" I blurted out, forgetting to whom I spoke.
"So, you are interested in someone?"
"Yes-no-I don't know! Endy's nothing more than a
figure in a dream-a recurring dream, but still... He's completely
fiction."
"Oh." My mother seemed almost disappointed for a
moment and then, that gleam came back into her eyes, and I could
not help but want to cower in fear. "Then who's the other guy
you're always complaining about-Darren-Darry-"
"Darien."
"That's it; so, who is he?"
And from the look in my mother's eye, I knew she had
finally gotten to the point of this conversation. It had been Darien
she wanted to know about all along. Fine, I decided, two could
play at that game.
"Just some guy." I replied taking a spoonful of cookie
dough-oh, I'm going to have such a stomach ache later... oh
well...
"Someone you like?"
"WHAT?? AS IF!!!!!"
"Whoa! Lower the decibels, Serena; you don't have to go
ballistic. I was just wondering... so who is he?"
"Why do you want to know," I asked slightly suspicious of
the twinkle in my mother's eye.
"I don't know," my mother started, rolling cookie dough
between her hands, "maybe because I hear you murmur his name
in your sleep and yell it every time you enter the house."
"As if." I exclaimed with little-to-no enthusiasm. I could
already feel my cheeks turning cherry red.
The twinkle was back. I hate that twinkle.
"You like him; admit it."
"I don't like him," I nearly shouted, "he's just some jerk
that likes to make fun of my hair and crash into me every morning
on the way to school-"
"Umhum."
"He's always picking on me or trying to ruin my day. He
always calls me Meatball Head or some other incredibly dumb
name; I'm the only one he calls names-and he's so nice to
everyone else! Why does such a hunky guy have to have such a
minus zero personality?"
"So you do like him."
"Wha-no way... I just think he's really smart-"
"And cute, right?"
"Handsome, suave, sexy... Oh, man! I'm in love with
him," I wailed softly into my hands, "what am I going to do?"
"Tell him," my mother replied with a chuckle, her eyes
sparkling.
"But he hates me. He's always tormenting me and
commenting on how dumb I am," I replied, tears trailing down my
cheeks, "besides he could have any girl he wanted... why would he
even notice a dumb junior high girl who can't walk a block without
falling on her face at least once?
"Does he tease all the girls?"
"Huh?"
"Does he tease all the girls or just you?"
"I-I don't understand," I whispered bewildered as I gazed
into my mother's smiling blue eyes.
"It's really a simple question. Does he tease all of the girls
or just you?"
"Just me," I replied, still confused beyond words.
"Then you already have a head up on all those other girls.
Teasing is a sign of affection in the eyes of some guys."
"I-I don't understand..."
Just then, the buzzer sounded alerting my mother that yet
another batch of cookies was done. My mother hopped up from her
position leaning against the counter and scurried over to the oven.
"Just think about it. You'll get it sooner or later, now
scoot. I have cookies to finish baking."
And with that, I scurried from the kitchen more confused
than ever before. What had she meant "teasing is a sign of
affection?" Since when? Sure I teased my brother but that was
because he was my brother not because-oh brother! She was
right! I teased Sammy because I love him, but I didn't want him to
understand that, but Darien couldn't be the same way-could he?
He couldn't be trying to hide his feelings, could he? Oh, but that
would make so much sense-too much sense, in fact. It was so
obvious it was transparent, but that man is an enigma and nothing
is ever so simple with him.
"Ughh! I give up!" I wailed, flopping onto my pink-
bunny-covered bedspread, "This is way too confusing!"
~
Alas, I must admit in my younger years I gave up far too
easily; however, lucky for me, my wonderful advisors and friends
never allowed me to concede defeat so easily. And even when I
didn't want them there, they always seemed to appear...
~
"Lower the decibels, Serena. I don't think they heard you
in Cleveland yet!"
"Huh-wha-where's Cleveland?" I asked, my eyes puffy
from tears.
"Somewhere in America," my cat sighed, hopping up onto
the bed and padding her way over to face me, "what's wrong,
Serena? What or whom is so confusing to you?"
"Darien."
"Not him again, girl, you have to get over him. Our
mission to find the princess takes precedence over everything-
including our relationships. How would you explain leaving in
the middle of the night to go battle a monster? What if the
unthinkable happens and you get killed? What would happen to
him then? He-"
"-Would never know what happened to me. I know, I
know. But, Luna, I can't help it. I adore him; you know that."
"I know, but you are young, and young love fades in due
time. Right now your duty takes precedence."
"I know, Luna; I know, but tell that to my heart and my
mother," I whispered, burring my head in my pillow in misery,
"they won't listen to me."
"Oh, Sere, what did she say this time?"
"Just that teasing is a sign of affection among guys and that
Darien may tease me for the same reason," I mumbled miserably
into my pillow not even daring to face my intelligent cat, "I can't
help but hope that she is right..."
"Oh, Sere," Luna gasped.
"I just wish I knew what it felt like to be normal for once;
then maybe, we could have a chance..."
"Then take your chance."
"Wha-I don't understand," I stated, staring at my cat
dumfounded by her words. Was this the same cat that told me my
duties take precedence over my life? What made her change her
mind all of a sudden? Is she having a mental breakdown or what?
"Take your chance, Sere," Luna stated again, her blue eyes
boring into mine, "Take your chance and find out if he loves you.
I will make an excuse for the girls; today, you are just a normal
girl, but remember to leave your communicator on least we need
Sailor Moon tonight."
"Why?"
"You need to know that deep down inside you are still the
same as everyone else, and I can not deny you a chance to know
love." A smile edged itself into Luna' voice as she declared,
"Now, go before I change my mind and force you to stay away
from him forever."
"Thank you-"
"No, don't thank me. I have done nothing; it is you that
must make him see you for what you truly are. Now, go."
"Yes, ma'am," I giggled, leaping out of bed and kissing the
top of Luna's head, "you won't regret this; I promise."
~
Famous last words or so Luna confessed to thinking years
later. At the time, she really did not think our relationship would
amount to anything. I was a Sailor Senshi, and my duty was to
protect the Princess. How was she to know that Fate had
intertwined our destinies long before we were even born-Oh! but
I'm getting ahead of myself... Where was I? Oh, yes! We were
talking about the day Luna allowed me to be normal...
~
"Mom!" I called, rushing down the stairs and nearly
tripping over my own two feet. "Mom, where are you? I need
some advice!"
"I'm in the kitchen, Dear," a muffled shout came from
behind the closed doors that adjoined the formal dinning room to
the kitchen.
"Oh, there you are," I exclaimed, flopping down on the
same barstool as before and panting heavily. "I-I need-your
help."
"With what, Dear," my mom asked innocently, her eyes
twinkling. She knew very well why I needed her help, but she
wanted me to say it, and I, for one, was desperate enough to oblige
her.
"I need advice on how to capture Darien's attention."
There, I said it.
"What on earth could I help you with?"
Damn twinkle.
"You were a young once, and I'm sure that you had
hundreds of crushes before you met Daddy-you have to
remember something!!!!!"
I couldn't help it; I wailed. I couldn't go to Amy or Rei
about this. They would laugh at me. If I told Molly, my oldest and
kindest friend, it would be all over the town by morning. Not
because she would betray my trust-she would never do that.
However, her boyfriend, the resident school nerd, Melvin was not
bound by our bond of secrecy and face it-that boy is the biggest
blabber mouth I have ever met. He would tell one person, and it
would spread like wildfire until the entire city knew that I was in
love with a senior in high school and not just any high school or
any student. No I just had to fall in love with Mr. Top Ten himself
who just happens attends the most elite private high school in the
area, Azabu High School.
"SERENA!!!!" My mother shrieked, covering her ears
with her hands and successfully catching my attention in the
process, "calm down. I will help you."
Wide watery blue eyes and a half smile later, my mother
was dragging me back upstairs to my room where she proceeded to
tear my closet apart.
"Now, first things first, Serena, you must dress the part.
No man will ever notice you wearing that horrid knee length skirt
and billowing blouse," my mother started holding up a tired old,
Sunday dress that I hadn't worn for years; she shuddered, threw
over her shoulder, and continued on, "No, no. That won't do at
all... What we need is something short and tight-but not too
tight...to show off that lovely figure you try so hard to hide."
"MOTHER!"
"What," she inquired halting her movement and looking
over her shoulder, a perplexed expression crossing her face as she
gazed at me, "what-you didn't think I noticed? You never wear
anything that shows off even the smallest bit of your figure-
sheesh! It's a wonder that none of your friends have said anything
to you before."
"You're just saying that," I whispered, ducking my head
and blushing hotly under my mother's scrutinizing gaze, "You
don't want to hurt my feelings..."
"Oh, Serena," my mother murmured as she crossed the
room to envelope me in a loving embrace, "I never knew you were
so insecure about your looks... You've always seemed so
confident-you even auditioned to be a model; what happened?"
"Darien-klutz attack after klutz attack-school-Ms. H-
adolescence-the list could go on forever." Sailor Moon. My
heritage. Destiny.
"Oh, my poor baby, I never realized..." Mom trailed off,
rocking me gently in her arms, lulling me with her comforting
presence, "Well, everything's about to change. We're going to
bring back the old Serena-the one that was nearly fearless and
confident in her abilities-and looks."
I turned a watery smile upon my smirking mother and
offered a small smile, grateful for her love and support.
"Now, let's go up the attic; I've got something that will
give any girl confidence!"
~
"Ew!! You actually wore that!"
"No, not me. These were your father," My mother laughed
taking the offending pair of bell-bottom pants from my hands.
They were the ickiest shade of olive green I have ever seen, and
apparently the same could be said for my mother because her nose
wrinkled up with disgust as she held the offending pants in front of
her. "I thought I threw these out twenty years ago! You're father
didn't have very good taste back then."
And with that my mother settled down in front of an old
trunk and began to methodically pull "retro" cloths out one by one,
being careful not to tear the material. Five minutes and a pile of
cloths later, I finally asked, "What are you looking for?"
"You'll see."
With a frustrated sigh, I just left my mother to her search
and began to survey the attic, looking for something to do. What I
found in the cluttered room was another trunk half hidden behind a
sheet and Dad's fishing equipment. Normally, I would have just
left this trunk alone, never been interested in it, but today,
something on the side caught my eye. Golden paint flickered in
the sunlight that streamed through the dusty attic windows; I
couldn't help it. I became intrigued and slipped away from my
mother's side.
"Eureka!" my mother cried, stopping me dead in my tracks,
"I finally found it-Serena! Serena, you've got to come see this!
It's perfect!"
For a long drawn out moment, my feet stayed planted to the
floor. I desperately wanted to know what was in that trunk. I had
never seen it before, and-well, you know what they say-
curiosity killed the cat. Unfortunately, I knew that if the trunk had
been hidden this long then my mother probably had not wanted me
to see it. Sighing, I spun on my heel and reluctantly made my way
back to my mother's side.
"What is it," I asked, coming to stand a foot behind my
mother.
"Look at what I found," she reiterated, turning around to
show me a piece of pleather (fake leather) that at one time might
have passed for a skirt. "So what do you think? Isn't it perfect?"
"Ye-yeah," I stuttered, trying very hard not to gawk at the
thing that my mother was holding. "I-It's great."
"Well, come on," she gushed, grabbing my hand and
dragging me behind her, "Let's go try it on."
Next thing I knew, I had been half shoved, half pushed into
the bathroom and left to try on this scrap of fabric as my mother
giggled down the hall yelling, "Hurry up!" over her shoulder as she
went.
If glares could kill, the bathroom's wooden door would
have been toast long ago. I hated it when she did that. Did what
you ask? Shove me into a room with something I would never feel
confident wearing and tell me to put it on anyway. It was her idea
of raising my self esteem, but all it did was make me even more
insecure about myself.
"Maybe, she did a better job this time," I muttered sending
a wary glance over to the pleather skirt, "Then again maybe not..."
Another glance left me intrigued. The pleather was not
smooth as I had first suspected; instead, faint crescent moons and
stars graced its surface.
~*~
I had to shake my head at the depth of my mother's
perception; I had never been able to hide anything from her,
especially my fondness of roses, moons, and stars. They were-
and still are-my greatest weakness.
~*~
Quickly, before I lost my nerve, I slipped the skirt over my
slender hips and slid the zipper into place. Instinctively, I
smoothed the material and glanced into the mirror. The skirt rested
on my hips rather than hugging my waistline and therefore offered
the illusion that my torso was longer than it really was. The design
of the a-line skirt smoothed away the imperfections of my hips,
making them appear to be tiny.
I couldn't believe it. The skirt fit like a glove-almost as if
it had been made for me...
"Snap out of it," I reprimanded myself, giving the mirror
one last look and returning to my bedroom.
I tiptoed to my closet in hopes of finding something to go
with this skirt; however, I soon discovered that my mother had
taken care of that too. An ice pink, spaghetti-strap camisole hung
in front of me with the words "Love, Mom," scrawled across a
note that was pinned to the front.
"She thought of everything," I stated with a wry smile as I
fished my strapless bra out of my dresser and proceeded to change
shirts. Within moments, I slipped out of my room and down the
hall, whispering, "Here goes nothing," as I went.
"Mom," I inquired, tentatively knocking on the door to the
master bedroom, "Are you in here?"
"Come in, Dear," Mother replied as she crossed the room to
meet me, "You look wonderful, Darling-" she paused, taking a
critical glance-"but there seems to be something missing... Let's
try something."
Mom patted the stool to her maple-vanity. She wanted to
play with make-up, again. Good luck, I thought wryly. Make-up
never seemed to do me much good, but I decided to indulge my
mother and sat down anyway.
"First things first. We must fix your hair. It is the object of
his teasing, no?"
"Yes," I replied, eyeing the brush in my mother's hand
warily.
"Well, if your hair is the object of his teasing, then lets take
it away," she had said, pulling bobby-pin after bobby-pin out of
my hair and running a brush through its length.
Fifteen minutes and a curling iron later, I sported a pony-
tail of messy curls that trailed well past my knees, almost reaching
the ground. I refused to let my mother cut it, which made her pout
like a child. However, she backed down with the thought of her
next torture-make-up. I hated make-up, and I still do. For some
strange reason that I can't explain, it has always made me feel like
a clown.
"Good luck fixing this face," I thought shooting a wry
smile at my reflection only to cringe as Mother smeared cold
foundation on my cheeks, "She's going to need it..."
"Viola," mom stated, nearly an hour later as she stepped
back. "My masterpiece is complete. The rest is up to you."
"I-I don't know what to say..."
I was flabbergasted by the young woman whose refection
stared back at me. Surely this person was not me. She was almost
beautiful and I, well, I am plain-very plain and vain-far too
vain for my own good. This girl seemed shy yet confident. She
was me and yet she wasn't. I could feel kindness and love
radiating from this reflection, and again, I found myself wondering
who she was. However, my musing was cut short as my mother
nearly yanked me off of her stool and led me down the hall toward
the stairs.
"Don't say anything, just go get your guy," I faintly heard
my mother say as I was half shoved out the door. My gaze warily
traveled down the street when my mother yelled, "Have fun," and
slammed the door behind me.
I thought about trying the door, but I knew from past
experience with my mother that she had already locked it. It was
her favorite way of saying "stay out" without actually saying the
words to my face. But how on Earth did she expect me to pull this
off? Sure, I knew where to find Darien-he was always drinking
coffee and/or talking to Andrew down at the Crown at this time of
night; however, I had no clue as to how to approach him. I didn't
know how to act or what to say. If he started calling me names,
did I fight back or did I brush it off? Was I supposed to try play
and play coy-I didn't even know how to do that!
"What have I got myself into," I wondered silently as I
turned on the automatic pilot and headed for the Crown. It was the
most plausible place to start...
"Look at that girl," a voice whispered, breaking into my
thoughts and stopping me in my tracks.
"Who does she think she is," another voice asked.
"Madonna?"
"Yeah, and look at her outfit. Like that's attractive-
leather went out in the seventies."
All three voices broke out into laughter, and I knew, I knew
they were talking about me. Who was I trying to kid anyway? I
couldn't pull this off. They were right; I looked really did look
stupid-everyone else had to be staring too-and to be honest, I
couldn't blame them. I would be too if I were them...
"You don't look stupid," a little voice whispered, "Look
around-no one else is laughing or staring."
But the voice was wrong, one glance proved that people
were indeed staring at me. Men gawked or rushed by, and women
shot me loathsome looks filled with disapproval and contempt. I
couldn't handle it; I had to get out of there.
Blindly, I began to run, not really caring who I shoved out
of my way or the stares that followed after me. All I knew was I
had to get out of there, away from the disapproving and slack-
jawed stares that followed me even as I ran.
"I knew this was a mistake," I mumbled, furiously swiping
tears away, "I should have never listened to her..."
"WATCH OUT!!!!!"
I froze, not quite sure where the voice had come from. I
looked around only to see a red Mercedes barreling down the street
at top speed. Panic flooded my system pushing all rational thought
out of my mind. And that's when I felt it. Two strong arms
grabbed me roughly around the waist, causing my spine to tingle in
a most befuddling way. I had never felt such a sensation before,
and I was curious. Who could cause me to react in such a way?
The answer nearly sent me into shock.
"What the HE!! do you think you were doing," an all too
familiar voice screamed in my ear.
To say I was shocked would be an understatement.
Flabbergasted, astounded., bewildered, amazed would be more
appropriate. Up until that moment, I had never known he could
affect me so much. Yeah, sure, I liked him but that didn't
necessarily mean that he could affect me with just a single touch
did it? And since when did his touch make me tingle all over and
feel safe all at once? Since when did he care enough to save my
life?
More than a little bewildered and still in shock, I never
registered the fact that Darien had hauled me into his arms or that
we were moving until the Arcade's distinctive bell chimed through
my thoughts.
"My God! What happened to you two???"
"Tell you in a moment; could we go to the back room?"
Darien's voice was unsteady and huskier than I had ever heard it
before. Where had Mr. Cool Confidence gone? "I - I need the
first-aide kit."
What for? I wondered. Had he hurt himself saving me?
Oh dear! I could never live with myself if I had caused him pain-
oh I am such an idiot. I should have paid more attention, maybe
then I wouldn't have run out into the middle of the street.
So deep in my own thoughts, I barely registered Andrew
say, "Sure, this way," turn on his heel, and lead us behind the
counter, past the kitchen, and into a small, dark room. He then
motioned to the small couch and started to rummage around in
something that I couldn't quite see. A certain dark-haired someone
was blocking my view. "So what happened?" I heard Andrew's
somewhat muffled voice ask a short time later.
"Little Miss Meatball-" I think he noticed my hair. "-
er-Serena here nearly got herself killed by a car. She was just
lucky that I noticed her and pulled her out of danger." I think
Andrew sent him "The Look," the one that says you're not telling
me the whole truth, because I heard Darien clear his throat and say,
"When I pulled her out of the way, she landed a little rougher than
I expected and well, you can see her leg!" I guess he had gotten
"The Look" again because he suddenly shouted, "It was an
accident; you pervert!"
"What!" I nearly shouted, coming out of my stupor and
trying to figure out what had happened. It was in that instant that I
felt a stinging pain in my leg-well rather the side of my upper
thigh. Confused, I look down only to gasp. I suddenly understood
Darien's comment and Andrew's unseen looks. I couldn't help it
nor did I have the power to stop the blush that stained my cheeks
cherry red; never before had I felt so embarrassed or vulnerable all
at once.
What happened, you ask? Well, somehow, during the fall,
I had managed to catch the concrete just right to (a) rip my skirt
nearly all the way to the hip and (b) cause a gash that bled
profusely that extended form mid-thigh to half way up my new
slit-thankfully, the gash was shallow but that still didn't make up
for the slit.
I shifted uncomfortably on the couch only to stop when I
realized that Darien's eyes had grown unbelievably large and dark.
I looked down again only to find myself blushing even deeper red
than before. Joy, thanks to that move both young men now had a
clear view of my underwear; how embarrassing!
"Wha-what happened?" I stumbled trying to force my
vocal chords to work properly. "How?"
"I think I tackled you too hard," Darien replied sheepishly,
moving forward to sit on the edge of the couch next to me,
"Sorry."
"Tack-tackle? Wha-when?"
I was still stuttering, but this time for an entirely different
reason. He was entirely too close, overwhelming my befuddled
mind with rapid thoughts and emotions that I could never name.
Darien chuckled, taking the first-aide kit from Andrew's
hand and turning back to me, "Just a few minutes ago-Meatball
Head."
"Hey! Don't call me that-ow!!! What was that for," I
screeched, shooting daggers at Darien and the offending cotton
ball.
"Hold still, Meatball Head! I have to clean out that cut;
you don't want it to get infected do you?"
"Stop calling me that-and I can do it myself, you dork!"
"Nu-huh! I did it; I clean it," Darien teased holding the
cotton ball out of reach.
Not thinking of the consequences, I tried to snatch the
cotton ball out of his hand. However, in the same instant, Darien
leapt off the couch and sent me sprawling on the floor-nearly my
full-length plastered against it. And just to top it off, I somehow
managed to rip my mother's skirt clear up to the waistband, where
it now hung by a half inch-wide strip of fake leather.
"Serena! Are you okay?" Andrew cried rushing over to
me.
"Go ahead," I mumbled, burring my head into the carpet,
"laugh it up."
Strong arms came about my waist and hoisted me off the
floor. Electricity tingled throughout my very being, and I knew
who held me. It seemed he had always had this affect on me; I just
hadn't stop to notice it until earlier, and now, I couldn't stop
myself from shivering slightly from the delightful sensations that
attacked me. I had never felt so safe before...
"I'll go see if Lizzy left something here that you could
wear," I heard Andrew's voice call from some far away point,
bringing me out of my trance.
It was then that I noticed that we were alone in the small
back room. I was back on the couch, Darien's olive green jacket
draped across my waist as if to offer me some dignity. I heard
nothing but soft breathing and the shuffling of supplies as Darien
busied himself with reassembling the first-aide kit that we had
knocked on the floor.
Neither one of us said a word. He concentrated on his task,
and I, well, I concentrated on his back. I had never noticed how
his muscles flexed as he moved, and today, they held me
transfixed. As did his hair, which I knew refused to stay out of
those depthless eyes in which I knew I would drown if given the
chance. My fingers itched to brush those silky, I knew his hair
would be silky, locks out of his eyes. Sigh, I was in teenage
heaven as my mind drifted off into fantasy land.
"This is going to hurt." Darien stated softly after a time,
"but it has to be done."
"I know." I bit my lip, waiting tensely for Darien to use the
hydrogen-peroxide coated cotton ball poised above my waiting cut.
I closed my eyes and bit my lip. "Just do it."
The sting came but didn't last long. A gel that I knew to be
Neosporin found its way onto my wound and cooled the burning
sensation. More electricity danced along my spine as Darien's
fingers massaged the gel into my skin; again, I was in teenage
heaven so much so that I never noticed when he stopped his hands
and placed a few band-aides on the now lightly bleeding area.
"All better," Darien murmured, pulling me out of my
thoughts.
Languidly, I opened my eyes only to find myself drowning
in an ocean of depthless sapphire. Again, I was in heaven and
totally oblivious to everything but Darien. I hardly even registered
when our heads began to inch closer and closer or my eyes drifting
closed...
"Sorry to take so long! Lizzy didn't have anything here, so
I had to call her and then she had to come down here. But it was
worth it; I have a new pair of shorts for you, Serena."
In that instant, Darien and I jumped apart, blushing
profusely at opposite ends of the couch. Andrew, however,
noticed nothing as he continued to babble. It wasn't until he held
out his little sister's shorts that he noticed us and where we were
sitting.
"Ah, did I miss something?"
"Nope, nothing at all," I thought wryly a mixture of
disappointment and resentment filling me.
"No-nothing," I squeaked, trying to sound nonchalant and
taking the proffered shorts form his hand, "Thanks-for the skirt-
er-shorts. I-I had better go change..."
And with that, I sprinted out of the backroom, down the
hall, into the arcade, and into the refuge of the girl's bathroom,
leaving two very confused young men behind-although, I knew
one of them had an idea as to why I was so jumpy.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid," I chanted, taking a look into the
mirror. My mother's make-up job was ruined but it was just as
well. Everything had fallen apart because of my recklessness,
including her favorite skirt. "How am I going to explain this to my
mother," I wailed even knowing deep down that she wouldn't
really care about the skirt as long as I had gotten Darien's
attention. "Boy did I ever," I mumbled, brushing a hand against
my lips, memories of the near kiss filling my mind, "Curse
Andrew and his timing-"
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
"Never fails," I mumbled under my breath, pulling my
communicator out of my inner dimensional pocket. "Moon here."
"Serena, sorry to cut your free time short, but Amy's been
attacked by a monster. You're needed somewhere near the park,"
the ever articulate Jupiter-Lita-replied a little breathlessly.
"Got it. Moon out." Moments later I shut off the
communicator and pulled my locket out of the inner dimensional
pocket. "Moon Prism Power," I shouted, revealing in the sense of
power as the ribbons wrapped around my body. I loved that
feeling. It always left me feeling refreshed-as if I could do
anything-okay, okay, I was really just having an adrenaline high,
but hey! I was a teenager; what did I know?
The lights died down, I struck a pose and snuck out the
back of the arcade.
~
I won't bore you with the details of the fight. It has come
to my attention that some of my fans find them very trait. And I,
for one, can't help but agree. They seem to get repetitive. I mean
either I fall on my butt, or I don't dodge soon enough and wind up
in Tuxedo Mask's capable arms. Then I either turn the monster to
dust or heal it. Same ol', same ol'. Boring. Although, I never do
get tired of being held in Tuxedo Mask's arms... they make me
feel all warm and tingly inside... sigh...
Anyway, it's what happened after the fight that matters...
~
"Sailor Moon," I heard Greg, a friend of Ami's and the
latest Rainbow Crystal carrier, call. "May I speak to you for a
moment?"
"Sure," I replied with a shrug, motioning for the others to
leave, "Go on without me, guys. I'll be fine."
"Are you sure, Sailor Moon," Lita asked, her eyes
shimmering with concern, "You might get attacked."
I couldn't help but give a small laugh at the thought before
shaking my head and replying, "I'll be fine; I can take care of
myself. Now go before I moon dust you three!"
Rei and Lita cracked a smile before wandering off in two
different directions. When they were out of sight, I turned to
Mercury and stated, "Ami, it's okay. You can go now; I'll take
care of Greg for you-don't worry."
A blush stained Ami's cheeks as she ducked her head and
stammered, "I-I just wanted to make sure that you got home okay.
That's all."
"Um-humm... and I'm the Princess of Earth; get going! I
promise that I will not let Greg get hurt. Besides don't you have
an advanced calculus test to study for?"
"Oh my gosh! I totally forgot! I'm only 5 chapters ahead;
gotta get going, Sere. See you at school tomorrow," she squealed,
throwing a wave and a look over shoulder in Greg's direction,
"Bye, Greg."
"Bye, Ami," Greg whispered before growing silent as he
watched her form be swallowed up by the night.
When we were finally alone, I turned to Greg and asked
softly, "What is it you wanted to talk about?"
"Huh. Oh, yeah, that..." Greg paused, glancing up to meet
my gaze as if for reassurance before he continued, "I-I wanted you
to know that I know all about you-who you are and who you
were-how you feel about Darien. What I wanted to say is don't
be afraid to let Darien know how you feel. Don't feel like you are
betraying Endymion; he's right in front of you."
For a moment, all I could do was gape like a fish at the
dark haired young man standing in front of me. I tried to force my
vocal cords to form all the questions in my mind, but they all came
out as squeaks. It was a wonder that I could even squeak, "Ho-
how?"
A look of deep, troubled sorrow crossed Greg's features as
he looked wistfully to the moon. Pain clouded his eyes for a
moment before he took a deep, steadying breath and whispered,
"It's not my place. I can only tell you that I know you need not
fear your feelings for Darien-he will not reject you. Now, I must
go before my parents worry. Goodbye, Sailor Moon, and
remember what I said."
Moments later, Greg sprinted off in the direction opposite
my home. Shadows quickly engulfed his lithe form taking with it
the secrets of his physic mind, but I did not really care. I knew he
had told me too much, and yet I was grateful for what I had been
told. I now knew that I could face Darien because he was the one
for whom I searched all my life. How did I know? I couldn't say,
but deep in my heart I knew that Endymion lived in him just as
Serenity lived in me. Her spirit cried out for his just as mine cried
out for Darien's. They had to be one and the same-they had to
be.
But how was I supposed to convince Darien of this truth?
How was I to convince him that he was Endymion? Could I even
convince him? Would he believe me? What if my heart was
wrong-what if he wasn't Endymion? No, no that couldn't be
true. Greg said that I need not worry about betraying my prince.
This is all so confusing!!!!! I cried mentally with an internal
scream of frustration.
"What the he!! do you think you are doing," A gruff but
vaguely familiar voice hissed as an unseen hand grabbed my wrist
in a vice like grip. Electricity tingled along my spine but not from
fear-it was caused by something deeper than that. Irritated that
someone would grabbed me in such a way, I spun around on my
heel to meet my attacker face to face; I had my hand poised to
strike at any moment.
"DARIEN!" I shrieked, my heart stopping for a brief
second before beginning the hundred yard dash, "You nearly gave
me a heart attack!"
"Sorry, but what are you doing out here so late at night and
still dressed like-like that? Are you asking to be attacked?"
"I can take care of myself Darien; I don't need your
protection," I state haughtily, yanking my wrist from his grasp and
crossing my arms over my chest in defiance.
"You obviously need someone to look out for you
considering you don't have enough sense not to walk through a
park in the dead of night in a torn mini-skirt," Darien paused,
visibly trying to check his anger, "There are some perverted people
in this world that would not hesitate to take advantages of a young
girl in your situation."
"Well, aren't you the observant one," I cried, pulling at the
edges of my torn skirt, trying to regain some modesty, "If I've
been attacked by anyone so far, it has been you. What gives you
the right to be so overprotective. You aren't my father!"
"No, I'm not, but he must not care very much about you if
he let you out of the house looking like that," Darien huffed, his
eyes blazing with anger.
"Don't talk about my father, " I exploded, furious that he
would bring my father into our private argument, "He doesn't even
know that I have this on."
"Even better; what would he say if he did know?" Darien
returned with equal fire in his voice and eyes.
"What do you care!" I exploded, fuming that he was
mocking me and using my father as ammunition. The nerve.
"Who does he think he is, anyway," I asked myself mentally-or
so I thought.
"Someone that cares about you more than you'll ever
know," Darien whispered, casting his eyes to the ground; the anger
was gone from his voice as was the fire from his eyes.
"Wha-"
"I-I just don't want to see you hurt," Darien pleaded, lifting
his eyes to mine, "I couldn't stand to see you get hurt. Please, go
home before someone really does try to take advantage of you.
You've already had two near death experience today; do you really
need another?"
Wow! Did Darien just admit that he cared about me? Did
he honestly say that was concerned. This was too good to be
true-but wait. Did he say two near death experiences? I only
counted one where he was actually involved.
"Two?" I asked, my eyes showing my bewilderment.
"The car and the monst-," Darien replied, cringing openly
at his mistake and abruptly cutting himself off, "I mean one near
death experience."
"No, I distinctly heard you say two," I pounced, "What
monster-how did you know?"
"At the Princess-D Ball you dropped a handkerchief; I
picked it up and put two and two together," Darien replied,
dropping his gaze to his shoes.
"But that would make you-" I trailed off as a sudden
giddy feeling washed over me. He had been in front of me the
entire time. Tuxedo Mask was Darien! This was perfect!
"Yeah," Darien whispered, blushing slightly as he pulled a
blood red rose out of thin air, "I bet you're disappointed; huh?"
"Disappointed," I asked bewildered, "Why would I be
disappointed-"
"Because your crush turns out to be the guy the-and I
quote, 'biggest jerk on the planet.'"
"Oh, that-well, that is to say-I was mad. We argued, I
got mad, and said something I shouldn't have. Why does it bother
you so? It's not like you care. Or do you," I mumbled, my voice
suddenly dropping in octaves as a dreadful idea flashed through
my mind. What if he doesn't care for me?
"I-I care about you more than you shall ever know," Darien
whispered, caressing my face with gentle fingertips. "But you-
you're too young. I can't impress my feelings upon you-go-go
home; forget tonight ever happened."
Darien's hand dropped to his side as he turned away from
me. His shoulders slumped, and his stride was long but unsure.
Gone was the confidence and the arrogance from his body and
stride. Gone was the pretense. He loved me; I was sure of it, and I
loved him. There was no way that he was going to get out of it
that easily.
"No," I stated firmly. "No one is ever to young to know
love. I can't forget what you said. Not when it's what I wanted to
hear for so long."
"Serena-wha-what are you saying?" Darien asked,
turning to face me.
"I-I fell in love with you. I-I don't know when or how, but
I did."
"No, not me," Darien stated sorrowfully, his head dropping
to the pavement, "You love Tuxedo Mask-"
"No, not Tuxedo Mask-you. I fell in love with you-my
enemy-my torturer-my savior. I didn't even know you were
Tuxedo Mask until tonight," I cried fervently.
Darien stood before me, unmoving-like stone. His eyes
grew wide with disbelief as I closed the distance between us. He
had to know-had to understand. He just had too. Maybe, maybe
the only was to tell him the truth about tonight-this outfit, my
new look, how I had wanted to get his attention. Would he laugh
at me or would he find the idea endearing? I didn't know, but I
had to try.
"I-I wanted you attention so badly that I threw caution to
the wind and allowed my mother to play with my hair and clothes.
I allowed her to transform me into someone that I didn't even
recognize at first. I-I just wanted you to notice me so badly," I
whispered in a small, shy voice that shook slightly with
apprehension and bordered on whimpering. He had to believe me;
he just had to. I didn't know what else to do or to say that would
make him understand my heart.
"I already noticed you-a long time ago," Darien
murmured, closing the distance between us and gently running a
finger along my cheek, "I noticed you before you ever threw that
horrible test in my face. I-I just didn't know how to tell you or
how to act around you. I-I'm not very good with people, so I
decided to push you away-"
"You didn't have to. I would have been your friend."
"Yes, but you see that was the problem. I didn't-nor do I
want to be just your friend. I wanted to be more, and I still do. I
want you-all of you-as my own, but I know that is too much to
ask. And therefore, I will not ask it of you."
"Why? I am offering my heart to you now; isn't that
enough," I whispered, my body trembling with emotion.
"You are too young to know what you are offering me. No,
go find someone your own age. Someone that is willing to hang
around for a short time and then move on when you get bored with
him," Darien stated softly. "That is the type of relationship that
fits your age group-nothing permanent just like your emotions.
Young love fades in due time and then I will be only a memory.
Goodbye, Serena. Find someone else to love."
I couldn't believe my ears. Was Darien really telling me to
move on? Was it really possible that he didn't return my
feelings-but he did! I know it; I feel it. Why is he pushing me
away. And what is it with this young love line, anyway? First
Luna and now Darien. Did the whole world think that teenagers
couldn't know everlasting love?
"I-I can't-I-I can't move on," I stammered, holding a
clenched fist over my heart, "You are a part of me. If you leave, a
part of my soul leaves with you. So you see, we are stuck with
each other. There is no parting without causing undue pain to both
of us-our hearts-our soul.
"I know you feel it Darien; I know you feel your heart and
soul cry out for mine. We are one, and there is nothing in this
universe that can change that. You are my prince, my destiny-
my-my Endymion."
"Ho-how did you know that," Darien whispered, stunned
beyond words, "How did you know who I was? How is it
possible. No one knows about my real name, not even social
services."
"I-your soul calls out to me in my dreams," I whispered,
casting my eyes to the ground, "My-my real name is Serenity-
not Serena. Serena's just a nickname that my mother-rather my
aunt gave me when I was little."
"Sere-"
"Endy?"
"Is it really you," Darien whispered, reaching out to touch
my face once more.
"Yes, it's really me," I murmured equally as soft as I
allowed my birthmark to shine through, "We are together again,
my love, forever and always."
"Oh, Serenity! How-how is this possible," Darien cried
crushing me against him.
"I-I don't know; my memories are hazy after Beryl
attacked the Moon," I replied, staring into Darien's sapphire gaze,
"I don't remember anything after the initial attack and even that's
hazy."
"I-it doesn't matter; all that matters is that we found each
other again."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Was that all that
mattered to him? Did he only care about her? Oh, God! what was I
to do? If he just wanted me because of her-I-I don't know what I
would do. I would be devastated. No, I couldn't handle that; I
couldn't handle just being a body.
"No," I whispered, pushing Darien away form me roughly as I
crossed my arms over my chest protectively. My body trembled; I
couldn't look him in the eyes anymore. The hurt was far too great.
"That's not all that matters."
"Serenity, what's wrong," Darien asked, confusion
shinning in his eyes.
"This isn't right," I stammered, tears springing forth from
my eyes, "You-we can't be together just because of our past. It
has to be because of our present-how our new identities feel
about each other in this time and this place-not how our souls felt
a thousand years ago.
"I-I must go. Goodbye, Endymion-Darien."
Tears burned my vision, but I didn't care. I had to get out
of there, away from Darien's shocked face. I couldn't stand to see
the hurt that had crossed his features for another moment. He only
cared about her-Serenity. He didn't care about me. How could I
have been so stupid?
"Serena," Darien cried, grabbing my wrist and pulling me
too his firm chest, "Don't leave me; please, don't leave me. I-I
can't stand to be alone any longer. I-I love you; I always have.
You're just so young that I didn't know if or how to tell you."
"I-it's too late, Darien. I-I know where your true emotions
lie; you care only for Serenity not me. Well, that's fine, but she's a
part of me, and you can't love her without going through me, and I
won't be used as a host. I-I couldn't stand to be used as a host-"
"Serena, don't you get it? I tried to push you away because
I love you," Darien cried, his eyes a little desperate as he crushed
me against his chest for a second time in two minutes, "I-I love
you, and I can't let you go."
"But what about Serenity?"
"I would love you even if you weren't Serenity," Darien
replied, love shining in his eyes, "She's just the icing on the cake."
"Do you really mean it?"
"Yes, I love you-not her. For goodness sake, I don't even
really know Serenity. How could I love her?"
"I guess when you put it that way," I replied with a
mischievous smile, purposely allowing my voice to trail off.
"What's that supposed to mean," Darien cried, a bit
indignant.
"Nothing," I teased. "Nothing at all."
"It must have meant something."
I groaned in frustration and nearly shouted, "Just shut
up and kiss me, already."
"My pleasure," Darien whispered before he closed the
distance between our lips in a sweet declaration of love.
~*~
Dear Diary, June 1999
As you well know, seven years have passed since my first kiss.
In that time, Darien and I started dating. During that time, we
defeated Queen Beryl, the Dark Moon, the Death Busters, the Dead
Moon Circus, and a plethora of others enemies. Then, in my senior
year of college-yes! I got into college-Darien and I moved in
together. He had actually proposed when I was sixteen, so my parents
gritted their teeth when I left. A month ago I finished my nursing
degree, and today, in the presence of family and friends, Darien and
I were united in holy matrimony. Tomorrow, we take off for our
honeymoon-a cruise around the world courtesy of Darien's trust fund.
I can't wait!
Oh! I hear Darien coming! I better go get dinner off the
stove-yes! I can cook. Darien taught me! Well, I better go.
Love,
Mrs. Serenity Shields
~ End ~
~*~
Wow! You actually finished this? Amazing. I would have
thought you would have left by now. Guess, not if you're reading
this... Hmm... not much to say other than I am waiting for
Raseyu to give me back chapter 5 of "Dream Diary." She
promised to work on it this time, so we'll see how much I get and
how long it takes. Anyway, thank you for reading, and I sincerely
hope that you've enjoyed this even if it is a bit clichéd by now. I
started it back in July, but never could seem to finish it. I've
rewritten both the middle and the end at least three times, so I
really hope it made sense. Some parts got to be really boring and
really confusing in the original... Please, drop me a line and tell
me what you think. I would really appreciate it. Thanks. ^_^
Mistic
misticlady@hotmail.com
Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon are (c) Naoko Takeuchi, Bandai,
Kodansha, Toei Animation, etc.
~*~
Dear Diary ~ June 1992
Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to know that
ultimate intimacy that a man and woman can achieve. Some nights
I lie awake just thinking about it... wondering... imagining...
dreaming of that special man who has weaseled his way into my
heart. Some nights I dream of my wedding night; what we would
say and do, but always my dreams are cut short with his lips only a
hair's breath away from my own.
Who is this man, you ask? Well, I'm embarrassed to say I
don't really know. We've never met, and my dreams are always
shadowed and less than steamy. We never even kiss. It's so
unfair! Life's unfair or so my cat says every time I complain to
her. She just doesn't understand a young girl's heart...
Okay, okay, so I don't even understand my own heart. It's
just so confusing! I have all these thoughts and emotions running
through me. I hardly have time to sort through them before
another wave breaks upon me. For example, I know this guy; he's
the biggest jerk on the face of the planet, and he always chooses to
tease me. One moment, we're hurling insults at each other, and the
next, I'm admiring how handsome he is or how I'm the only girl
that he ever seems to acknowledge. He's so confusing!
Love,
Serena
~*~
Title: Changing Faces
Author: Mistic
Email: misticlady@hotmail.com
Rating: PG
Season: 1st
~*~
"Serena!" My mother yelled from down stairs, "Dinner's
ready!"
"Be there in a moment, Mom!" I yelled back as I raced
down stairs. I loved food, and my mother's cooking was-and still
is-the best I've ever tasted, next to my husband that is.
"Dad," I stated, kissing my father's surprised cheek as I
passed him. "Mom," I stated softly repeating the move and
reveling in the shock etched into the faces of my loving parents.
"Spore." I teased as I ruffled the sandy, blonde hair of my 11 year-
old brother.
"Well, you're in an awfully good mood, Serena." My
mother, Ilene Tsukino smiled as she passed the rice around,
"Anything out of the ordinary happen today?"
"Nope, not really. Just the normal routine-Miss Haruna
has a hot date, so she lets us out early. Same ol', same ol'."
"That's nice dear," Ken Tsukino, my dark haired, glasses
wearing father, stated off handedly. I knew he was not really
paying attention; his nose was buried in the evening news, and
when he was reading the paper, you could get away with saying
almost anything...
"I know why Serena's in such a good mood," Sammy piped
up, a malicious smile breaking out upon his face, "she was with her
boyfriend-"
Except that...
"That's nice dear-wait a second-boyfriend! What
boyfriend!"
"Oh, brother," I muttered under my breath while shaking
my head, "here we go again."
"I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND!"
"Oh, hee... hee... that's good," my father stated with an
off-handed laugh, burying his nose in his paper once more.
"Although, there is this guy..."
"That's nice dear."
Great. Now, my father wasn't even listening to me. Men.
I thought with a disgusted sigh.
"Serena?"
"Hmm... Mom?"
"Nothing, we'll talk later," she stated with a wink before
turning back to her dinner.
Oh, great! I thought with a mental groan. What did she
want? Was she actually listening when I said I was interested in a
guy? It wasn't even true, but my mother didn't know that; did she?
Well, I thought with a dejected sigh, I'll find out soon enough.
However, soon enough did not come for a few days. After
dinner, my mother had been called to the side of a sick aunt and
was left with little to no time to talk with me. For three nights I
dreaded going home for fear that my mother would want to talk,
and that was something that I wanted to avoid at all cost. Yet, on
the fourth day, my mother pulled me aside after dinner under the
guise of helping her make cookies, but we all knew what that
meant. I would sit on a stool watching her bake and spill my guts
over chocolate chip cookies and milk. It never failed and sure
enough, that's what happened.
"So what's this I hear about you being interested in a boy,"
my mom asked with a friendly smile as she leaned on the counter
and placed another cookie on my plate, "cookie?"
"Uhh... sure," I stammered, taking the cookie and dunking
it in milk. For the next few minutes the only sounds that could be
heard was the thundering of my heart and the crunching of yet
another chocolate chip cookie. All too soon, I gulped down the
remainder of my cookie and suddenly wished I had not finished it
so quickly. I desperately wanted to avoid the subject at hand, but
my mother would have nothing of it.
"So, who is he?"
I couldn't help but gulp at the sheer eagerness that was
etched into my mother's dark, youthful features. She looked just
like my best friend Molly when she was about to pounce on the
biggest gossip of the year, and that was a look that scared the wits
out of me.
"N-no one," I stammered, taking a deep cleansing breath,
"I just wanted to see if Dad was listening the other night. I-I'm not
interested in anyone-honest."
"Oh, come on... I know there's more to it than that.
You're always talking about some new crush to your friends; why
won't you tell me?"
"WHAT??" I fairly shouted, "How would you know what
I talk to my friends about?"
"You do have a rather loud voice, you know, Darling, and
besides, I just happened to walk by one night when you sighed
some guy's name in your sleep. Something about Endy-I
believe. I couldn't hear all of it."
Mental note to self, always lock the door before going to
bed.
"Mom, I have no idea who you are talking about-I-I don't
even know him!" I blurted out, forgetting to whom I spoke.
"So, you are interested in someone?"
"Yes-no-I don't know! Endy's nothing more than a
figure in a dream-a recurring dream, but still... He's completely
fiction."
"Oh." My mother seemed almost disappointed for a
moment and then, that gleam came back into her eyes, and I could
not help but want to cower in fear. "Then who's the other guy
you're always complaining about-Darren-Darry-"
"Darien."
"That's it; so, who is he?"
And from the look in my mother's eye, I knew she had
finally gotten to the point of this conversation. It had been Darien
she wanted to know about all along. Fine, I decided, two could
play at that game.
"Just some guy." I replied taking a spoonful of cookie
dough-oh, I'm going to have such a stomach ache later... oh
well...
"Someone you like?"
"WHAT?? AS IF!!!!!"
"Whoa! Lower the decibels, Serena; you don't have to go
ballistic. I was just wondering... so who is he?"
"Why do you want to know," I asked slightly suspicious of
the twinkle in my mother's eye.
"I don't know," my mother started, rolling cookie dough
between her hands, "maybe because I hear you murmur his name
in your sleep and yell it every time you enter the house."
"As if." I exclaimed with little-to-no enthusiasm. I could
already feel my cheeks turning cherry red.
The twinkle was back. I hate that twinkle.
"You like him; admit it."
"I don't like him," I nearly shouted, "he's just some jerk
that likes to make fun of my hair and crash into me every morning
on the way to school-"
"Umhum."
"He's always picking on me or trying to ruin my day. He
always calls me Meatball Head or some other incredibly dumb
name; I'm the only one he calls names-and he's so nice to
everyone else! Why does such a hunky guy have to have such a
minus zero personality?"
"So you do like him."
"Wha-no way... I just think he's really smart-"
"And cute, right?"
"Handsome, suave, sexy... Oh, man! I'm in love with
him," I wailed softly into my hands, "what am I going to do?"
"Tell him," my mother replied with a chuckle, her eyes
sparkling.
"But he hates me. He's always tormenting me and
commenting on how dumb I am," I replied, tears trailing down my
cheeks, "besides he could have any girl he wanted... why would he
even notice a dumb junior high girl who can't walk a block without
falling on her face at least once?
"Does he tease all the girls?"
"Huh?"
"Does he tease all the girls or just you?"
"I-I don't understand," I whispered bewildered as I gazed
into my mother's smiling blue eyes.
"It's really a simple question. Does he tease all of the girls
or just you?"
"Just me," I replied, still confused beyond words.
"Then you already have a head up on all those other girls.
Teasing is a sign of affection in the eyes of some guys."
"I-I don't understand..."
Just then, the buzzer sounded alerting my mother that yet
another batch of cookies was done. My mother hopped up from her
position leaning against the counter and scurried over to the oven.
"Just think about it. You'll get it sooner or later, now
scoot. I have cookies to finish baking."
And with that, I scurried from the kitchen more confused
than ever before. What had she meant "teasing is a sign of
affection?" Since when? Sure I teased my brother but that was
because he was my brother not because-oh brother! She was
right! I teased Sammy because I love him, but I didn't want him to
understand that, but Darien couldn't be the same way-could he?
He couldn't be trying to hide his feelings, could he? Oh, but that
would make so much sense-too much sense, in fact. It was so
obvious it was transparent, but that man is an enigma and nothing
is ever so simple with him.
"Ughh! I give up!" I wailed, flopping onto my pink-
bunny-covered bedspread, "This is way too confusing!"
~
Alas, I must admit in my younger years I gave up far too
easily; however, lucky for me, my wonderful advisors and friends
never allowed me to concede defeat so easily. And even when I
didn't want them there, they always seemed to appear...
~
"Lower the decibels, Serena. I don't think they heard you
in Cleveland yet!"
"Huh-wha-where's Cleveland?" I asked, my eyes puffy
from tears.
"Somewhere in America," my cat sighed, hopping up onto
the bed and padding her way over to face me, "what's wrong,
Serena? What or whom is so confusing to you?"
"Darien."
"Not him again, girl, you have to get over him. Our
mission to find the princess takes precedence over everything-
including our relationships. How would you explain leaving in
the middle of the night to go battle a monster? What if the
unthinkable happens and you get killed? What would happen to
him then? He-"
"-Would never know what happened to me. I know, I
know. But, Luna, I can't help it. I adore him; you know that."
"I know, but you are young, and young love fades in due
time. Right now your duty takes precedence."
"I know, Luna; I know, but tell that to my heart and my
mother," I whispered, burring my head in my pillow in misery,
"they won't listen to me."
"Oh, Sere, what did she say this time?"
"Just that teasing is a sign of affection among guys and that
Darien may tease me for the same reason," I mumbled miserably
into my pillow not even daring to face my intelligent cat, "I can't
help but hope that she is right..."
"Oh, Sere," Luna gasped.
"I just wish I knew what it felt like to be normal for once;
then maybe, we could have a chance..."
"Then take your chance."
"Wha-I don't understand," I stated, staring at my cat
dumfounded by her words. Was this the same cat that told me my
duties take precedence over my life? What made her change her
mind all of a sudden? Is she having a mental breakdown or what?
"Take your chance, Sere," Luna stated again, her blue eyes
boring into mine, "Take your chance and find out if he loves you.
I will make an excuse for the girls; today, you are just a normal
girl, but remember to leave your communicator on least we need
Sailor Moon tonight."
"Why?"
"You need to know that deep down inside you are still the
same as everyone else, and I can not deny you a chance to know
love." A smile edged itself into Luna' voice as she declared,
"Now, go before I change my mind and force you to stay away
from him forever."
"Thank you-"
"No, don't thank me. I have done nothing; it is you that
must make him see you for what you truly are. Now, go."
"Yes, ma'am," I giggled, leaping out of bed and kissing the
top of Luna's head, "you won't regret this; I promise."
~
Famous last words or so Luna confessed to thinking years
later. At the time, she really did not think our relationship would
amount to anything. I was a Sailor Senshi, and my duty was to
protect the Princess. How was she to know that Fate had
intertwined our destinies long before we were even born-Oh! but
I'm getting ahead of myself... Where was I? Oh, yes! We were
talking about the day Luna allowed me to be normal...
~
"Mom!" I called, rushing down the stairs and nearly
tripping over my own two feet. "Mom, where are you? I need
some advice!"
"I'm in the kitchen, Dear," a muffled shout came from
behind the closed doors that adjoined the formal dinning room to
the kitchen.
"Oh, there you are," I exclaimed, flopping down on the
same barstool as before and panting heavily. "I-I need-your
help."
"With what, Dear," my mom asked innocently, her eyes
twinkling. She knew very well why I needed her help, but she
wanted me to say it, and I, for one, was desperate enough to oblige
her.
"I need advice on how to capture Darien's attention."
There, I said it.
"What on earth could I help you with?"
Damn twinkle.
"You were a young once, and I'm sure that you had
hundreds of crushes before you met Daddy-you have to
remember something!!!!!"
I couldn't help it; I wailed. I couldn't go to Amy or Rei
about this. They would laugh at me. If I told Molly, my oldest and
kindest friend, it would be all over the town by morning. Not
because she would betray my trust-she would never do that.
However, her boyfriend, the resident school nerd, Melvin was not
bound by our bond of secrecy and face it-that boy is the biggest
blabber mouth I have ever met. He would tell one person, and it
would spread like wildfire until the entire city knew that I was in
love with a senior in high school and not just any high school or
any student. No I just had to fall in love with Mr. Top Ten himself
who just happens attends the most elite private high school in the
area, Azabu High School.
"SERENA!!!!" My mother shrieked, covering her ears
with her hands and successfully catching my attention in the
process, "calm down. I will help you."
Wide watery blue eyes and a half smile later, my mother
was dragging me back upstairs to my room where she proceeded to
tear my closet apart.
"Now, first things first, Serena, you must dress the part.
No man will ever notice you wearing that horrid knee length skirt
and billowing blouse," my mother started holding up a tired old,
Sunday dress that I hadn't worn for years; she shuddered, threw
over her shoulder, and continued on, "No, no. That won't do at
all... What we need is something short and tight-but not too
tight...to show off that lovely figure you try so hard to hide."
"MOTHER!"
"What," she inquired halting her movement and looking
over her shoulder, a perplexed expression crossing her face as she
gazed at me, "what-you didn't think I noticed? You never wear
anything that shows off even the smallest bit of your figure-
sheesh! It's a wonder that none of your friends have said anything
to you before."
"You're just saying that," I whispered, ducking my head
and blushing hotly under my mother's scrutinizing gaze, "You
don't want to hurt my feelings..."
"Oh, Serena," my mother murmured as she crossed the
room to envelope me in a loving embrace, "I never knew you were
so insecure about your looks... You've always seemed so
confident-you even auditioned to be a model; what happened?"
"Darien-klutz attack after klutz attack-school-Ms. H-
adolescence-the list could go on forever." Sailor Moon. My
heritage. Destiny.
"Oh, my poor baby, I never realized..." Mom trailed off,
rocking me gently in her arms, lulling me with her comforting
presence, "Well, everything's about to change. We're going to
bring back the old Serena-the one that was nearly fearless and
confident in her abilities-and looks."
I turned a watery smile upon my smirking mother and
offered a small smile, grateful for her love and support.
"Now, let's go up the attic; I've got something that will
give any girl confidence!"
~
"Ew!! You actually wore that!"
"No, not me. These were your father," My mother laughed
taking the offending pair of bell-bottom pants from my hands.
They were the ickiest shade of olive green I have ever seen, and
apparently the same could be said for my mother because her nose
wrinkled up with disgust as she held the offending pants in front of
her. "I thought I threw these out twenty years ago! You're father
didn't have very good taste back then."
And with that my mother settled down in front of an old
trunk and began to methodically pull "retro" cloths out one by one,
being careful not to tear the material. Five minutes and a pile of
cloths later, I finally asked, "What are you looking for?"
"You'll see."
With a frustrated sigh, I just left my mother to her search
and began to survey the attic, looking for something to do. What I
found in the cluttered room was another trunk half hidden behind a
sheet and Dad's fishing equipment. Normally, I would have just
left this trunk alone, never been interested in it, but today,
something on the side caught my eye. Golden paint flickered in
the sunlight that streamed through the dusty attic windows; I
couldn't help it. I became intrigued and slipped away from my
mother's side.
"Eureka!" my mother cried, stopping me dead in my tracks,
"I finally found it-Serena! Serena, you've got to come see this!
It's perfect!"
For a long drawn out moment, my feet stayed planted to the
floor. I desperately wanted to know what was in that trunk. I had
never seen it before, and-well, you know what they say-
curiosity killed the cat. Unfortunately, I knew that if the trunk had
been hidden this long then my mother probably had not wanted me
to see it. Sighing, I spun on my heel and reluctantly made my way
back to my mother's side.
"What is it," I asked, coming to stand a foot behind my
mother.
"Look at what I found," she reiterated, turning around to
show me a piece of pleather (fake leather) that at one time might
have passed for a skirt. "So what do you think? Isn't it perfect?"
"Ye-yeah," I stuttered, trying very hard not to gawk at the
thing that my mother was holding. "I-It's great."
"Well, come on," she gushed, grabbing my hand and
dragging me behind her, "Let's go try it on."
Next thing I knew, I had been half shoved, half pushed into
the bathroom and left to try on this scrap of fabric as my mother
giggled down the hall yelling, "Hurry up!" over her shoulder as she
went.
If glares could kill, the bathroom's wooden door would
have been toast long ago. I hated it when she did that. Did what
you ask? Shove me into a room with something I would never feel
confident wearing and tell me to put it on anyway. It was her idea
of raising my self esteem, but all it did was make me even more
insecure about myself.
"Maybe, she did a better job this time," I muttered sending
a wary glance over to the pleather skirt, "Then again maybe not..."
Another glance left me intrigued. The pleather was not
smooth as I had first suspected; instead, faint crescent moons and
stars graced its surface.
~*~
I had to shake my head at the depth of my mother's
perception; I had never been able to hide anything from her,
especially my fondness of roses, moons, and stars. They were-
and still are-my greatest weakness.
~*~
Quickly, before I lost my nerve, I slipped the skirt over my
slender hips and slid the zipper into place. Instinctively, I
smoothed the material and glanced into the mirror. The skirt rested
on my hips rather than hugging my waistline and therefore offered
the illusion that my torso was longer than it really was. The design
of the a-line skirt smoothed away the imperfections of my hips,
making them appear to be tiny.
I couldn't believe it. The skirt fit like a glove-almost as if
it had been made for me...
"Snap out of it," I reprimanded myself, giving the mirror
one last look and returning to my bedroom.
I tiptoed to my closet in hopes of finding something to go
with this skirt; however, I soon discovered that my mother had
taken care of that too. An ice pink, spaghetti-strap camisole hung
in front of me with the words "Love, Mom," scrawled across a
note that was pinned to the front.
"She thought of everything," I stated with a wry smile as I
fished my strapless bra out of my dresser and proceeded to change
shirts. Within moments, I slipped out of my room and down the
hall, whispering, "Here goes nothing," as I went.
"Mom," I inquired, tentatively knocking on the door to the
master bedroom, "Are you in here?"
"Come in, Dear," Mother replied as she crossed the room to
meet me, "You look wonderful, Darling-" she paused, taking a
critical glance-"but there seems to be something missing... Let's
try something."
Mom patted the stool to her maple-vanity. She wanted to
play with make-up, again. Good luck, I thought wryly. Make-up
never seemed to do me much good, but I decided to indulge my
mother and sat down anyway.
"First things first. We must fix your hair. It is the object of
his teasing, no?"
"Yes," I replied, eyeing the brush in my mother's hand
warily.
"Well, if your hair is the object of his teasing, then lets take
it away," she had said, pulling bobby-pin after bobby-pin out of
my hair and running a brush through its length.
Fifteen minutes and a curling iron later, I sported a pony-
tail of messy curls that trailed well past my knees, almost reaching
the ground. I refused to let my mother cut it, which made her pout
like a child. However, she backed down with the thought of her
next torture-make-up. I hated make-up, and I still do. For some
strange reason that I can't explain, it has always made me feel like
a clown.
"Good luck fixing this face," I thought shooting a wry
smile at my reflection only to cringe as Mother smeared cold
foundation on my cheeks, "She's going to need it..."
"Viola," mom stated, nearly an hour later as she stepped
back. "My masterpiece is complete. The rest is up to you."
"I-I don't know what to say..."
I was flabbergasted by the young woman whose refection
stared back at me. Surely this person was not me. She was almost
beautiful and I, well, I am plain-very plain and vain-far too
vain for my own good. This girl seemed shy yet confident. She
was me and yet she wasn't. I could feel kindness and love
radiating from this reflection, and again, I found myself wondering
who she was. However, my musing was cut short as my mother
nearly yanked me off of her stool and led me down the hall toward
the stairs.
"Don't say anything, just go get your guy," I faintly heard
my mother say as I was half shoved out the door. My gaze warily
traveled down the street when my mother yelled, "Have fun," and
slammed the door behind me.
I thought about trying the door, but I knew from past
experience with my mother that she had already locked it. It was
her favorite way of saying "stay out" without actually saying the
words to my face. But how on Earth did she expect me to pull this
off? Sure, I knew where to find Darien-he was always drinking
coffee and/or talking to Andrew down at the Crown at this time of
night; however, I had no clue as to how to approach him. I didn't
know how to act or what to say. If he started calling me names,
did I fight back or did I brush it off? Was I supposed to try play
and play coy-I didn't even know how to do that!
"What have I got myself into," I wondered silently as I
turned on the automatic pilot and headed for the Crown. It was the
most plausible place to start...
"Look at that girl," a voice whispered, breaking into my
thoughts and stopping me in my tracks.
"Who does she think she is," another voice asked.
"Madonna?"
"Yeah, and look at her outfit. Like that's attractive-
leather went out in the seventies."
All three voices broke out into laughter, and I knew, I knew
they were talking about me. Who was I trying to kid anyway? I
couldn't pull this off. They were right; I looked really did look
stupid-everyone else had to be staring too-and to be honest, I
couldn't blame them. I would be too if I were them...
"You don't look stupid," a little voice whispered, "Look
around-no one else is laughing or staring."
But the voice was wrong, one glance proved that people
were indeed staring at me. Men gawked or rushed by, and women
shot me loathsome looks filled with disapproval and contempt. I
couldn't handle it; I had to get out of there.
Blindly, I began to run, not really caring who I shoved out
of my way or the stares that followed after me. All I knew was I
had to get out of there, away from the disapproving and slack-
jawed stares that followed me even as I ran.
"I knew this was a mistake," I mumbled, furiously swiping
tears away, "I should have never listened to her..."
"WATCH OUT!!!!!"
I froze, not quite sure where the voice had come from. I
looked around only to see a red Mercedes barreling down the street
at top speed. Panic flooded my system pushing all rational thought
out of my mind. And that's when I felt it. Two strong arms
grabbed me roughly around the waist, causing my spine to tingle in
a most befuddling way. I had never felt such a sensation before,
and I was curious. Who could cause me to react in such a way?
The answer nearly sent me into shock.
"What the HE!! do you think you were doing," an all too
familiar voice screamed in my ear.
To say I was shocked would be an understatement.
Flabbergasted, astounded., bewildered, amazed would be more
appropriate. Up until that moment, I had never known he could
affect me so much. Yeah, sure, I liked him but that didn't
necessarily mean that he could affect me with just a single touch
did it? And since when did his touch make me tingle all over and
feel safe all at once? Since when did he care enough to save my
life?
More than a little bewildered and still in shock, I never
registered the fact that Darien had hauled me into his arms or that
we were moving until the Arcade's distinctive bell chimed through
my thoughts.
"My God! What happened to you two???"
"Tell you in a moment; could we go to the back room?"
Darien's voice was unsteady and huskier than I had ever heard it
before. Where had Mr. Cool Confidence gone? "I - I need the
first-aide kit."
What for? I wondered. Had he hurt himself saving me?
Oh dear! I could never live with myself if I had caused him pain-
oh I am such an idiot. I should have paid more attention, maybe
then I wouldn't have run out into the middle of the street.
So deep in my own thoughts, I barely registered Andrew
say, "Sure, this way," turn on his heel, and lead us behind the
counter, past the kitchen, and into a small, dark room. He then
motioned to the small couch and started to rummage around in
something that I couldn't quite see. A certain dark-haired someone
was blocking my view. "So what happened?" I heard Andrew's
somewhat muffled voice ask a short time later.
"Little Miss Meatball-" I think he noticed my hair. "-
er-Serena here nearly got herself killed by a car. She was just
lucky that I noticed her and pulled her out of danger." I think
Andrew sent him "The Look," the one that says you're not telling
me the whole truth, because I heard Darien clear his throat and say,
"When I pulled her out of the way, she landed a little rougher than
I expected and well, you can see her leg!" I guess he had gotten
"The Look" again because he suddenly shouted, "It was an
accident; you pervert!"
"What!" I nearly shouted, coming out of my stupor and
trying to figure out what had happened. It was in that instant that I
felt a stinging pain in my leg-well rather the side of my upper
thigh. Confused, I look down only to gasp. I suddenly understood
Darien's comment and Andrew's unseen looks. I couldn't help it
nor did I have the power to stop the blush that stained my cheeks
cherry red; never before had I felt so embarrassed or vulnerable all
at once.
What happened, you ask? Well, somehow, during the fall,
I had managed to catch the concrete just right to (a) rip my skirt
nearly all the way to the hip and (b) cause a gash that bled
profusely that extended form mid-thigh to half way up my new
slit-thankfully, the gash was shallow but that still didn't make up
for the slit.
I shifted uncomfortably on the couch only to stop when I
realized that Darien's eyes had grown unbelievably large and dark.
I looked down again only to find myself blushing even deeper red
than before. Joy, thanks to that move both young men now had a
clear view of my underwear; how embarrassing!
"Wha-what happened?" I stumbled trying to force my
vocal chords to work properly. "How?"
"I think I tackled you too hard," Darien replied sheepishly,
moving forward to sit on the edge of the couch next to me,
"Sorry."
"Tack-tackle? Wha-when?"
I was still stuttering, but this time for an entirely different
reason. He was entirely too close, overwhelming my befuddled
mind with rapid thoughts and emotions that I could never name.
Darien chuckled, taking the first-aide kit from Andrew's
hand and turning back to me, "Just a few minutes ago-Meatball
Head."
"Hey! Don't call me that-ow!!! What was that for," I
screeched, shooting daggers at Darien and the offending cotton
ball.
"Hold still, Meatball Head! I have to clean out that cut;
you don't want it to get infected do you?"
"Stop calling me that-and I can do it myself, you dork!"
"Nu-huh! I did it; I clean it," Darien teased holding the
cotton ball out of reach.
Not thinking of the consequences, I tried to snatch the
cotton ball out of his hand. However, in the same instant, Darien
leapt off the couch and sent me sprawling on the floor-nearly my
full-length plastered against it. And just to top it off, I somehow
managed to rip my mother's skirt clear up to the waistband, where
it now hung by a half inch-wide strip of fake leather.
"Serena! Are you okay?" Andrew cried rushing over to
me.
"Go ahead," I mumbled, burring my head into the carpet,
"laugh it up."
Strong arms came about my waist and hoisted me off the
floor. Electricity tingled throughout my very being, and I knew
who held me. It seemed he had always had this affect on me; I just
hadn't stop to notice it until earlier, and now, I couldn't stop
myself from shivering slightly from the delightful sensations that
attacked me. I had never felt so safe before...
"I'll go see if Lizzy left something here that you could
wear," I heard Andrew's voice call from some far away point,
bringing me out of my trance.
It was then that I noticed that we were alone in the small
back room. I was back on the couch, Darien's olive green jacket
draped across my waist as if to offer me some dignity. I heard
nothing but soft breathing and the shuffling of supplies as Darien
busied himself with reassembling the first-aide kit that we had
knocked on the floor.
Neither one of us said a word. He concentrated on his task,
and I, well, I concentrated on his back. I had never noticed how
his muscles flexed as he moved, and today, they held me
transfixed. As did his hair, which I knew refused to stay out of
those depthless eyes in which I knew I would drown if given the
chance. My fingers itched to brush those silky, I knew his hair
would be silky, locks out of his eyes. Sigh, I was in teenage
heaven as my mind drifted off into fantasy land.
"This is going to hurt." Darien stated softly after a time,
"but it has to be done."
"I know." I bit my lip, waiting tensely for Darien to use the
hydrogen-peroxide coated cotton ball poised above my waiting cut.
I closed my eyes and bit my lip. "Just do it."
The sting came but didn't last long. A gel that I knew to be
Neosporin found its way onto my wound and cooled the burning
sensation. More electricity danced along my spine as Darien's
fingers massaged the gel into my skin; again, I was in teenage
heaven so much so that I never noticed when he stopped his hands
and placed a few band-aides on the now lightly bleeding area.
"All better," Darien murmured, pulling me out of my
thoughts.
Languidly, I opened my eyes only to find myself drowning
in an ocean of depthless sapphire. Again, I was in heaven and
totally oblivious to everything but Darien. I hardly even registered
when our heads began to inch closer and closer or my eyes drifting
closed...
"Sorry to take so long! Lizzy didn't have anything here, so
I had to call her and then she had to come down here. But it was
worth it; I have a new pair of shorts for you, Serena."
In that instant, Darien and I jumped apart, blushing
profusely at opposite ends of the couch. Andrew, however,
noticed nothing as he continued to babble. It wasn't until he held
out his little sister's shorts that he noticed us and where we were
sitting.
"Ah, did I miss something?"
"Nope, nothing at all," I thought wryly a mixture of
disappointment and resentment filling me.
"No-nothing," I squeaked, trying to sound nonchalant and
taking the proffered shorts form his hand, "Thanks-for the skirt-
er-shorts. I-I had better go change..."
And with that, I sprinted out of the backroom, down the
hall, into the arcade, and into the refuge of the girl's bathroom,
leaving two very confused young men behind-although, I knew
one of them had an idea as to why I was so jumpy.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid," I chanted, taking a look into the
mirror. My mother's make-up job was ruined but it was just as
well. Everything had fallen apart because of my recklessness,
including her favorite skirt. "How am I going to explain this to my
mother," I wailed even knowing deep down that she wouldn't
really care about the skirt as long as I had gotten Darien's
attention. "Boy did I ever," I mumbled, brushing a hand against
my lips, memories of the near kiss filling my mind, "Curse
Andrew and his timing-"
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
"Never fails," I mumbled under my breath, pulling my
communicator out of my inner dimensional pocket. "Moon here."
"Serena, sorry to cut your free time short, but Amy's been
attacked by a monster. You're needed somewhere near the park,"
the ever articulate Jupiter-Lita-replied a little breathlessly.
"Got it. Moon out." Moments later I shut off the
communicator and pulled my locket out of the inner dimensional
pocket. "Moon Prism Power," I shouted, revealing in the sense of
power as the ribbons wrapped around my body. I loved that
feeling. It always left me feeling refreshed-as if I could do
anything-okay, okay, I was really just having an adrenaline high,
but hey! I was a teenager; what did I know?
The lights died down, I struck a pose and snuck out the
back of the arcade.
~
I won't bore you with the details of the fight. It has come
to my attention that some of my fans find them very trait. And I,
for one, can't help but agree. They seem to get repetitive. I mean
either I fall on my butt, or I don't dodge soon enough and wind up
in Tuxedo Mask's capable arms. Then I either turn the monster to
dust or heal it. Same ol', same ol'. Boring. Although, I never do
get tired of being held in Tuxedo Mask's arms... they make me
feel all warm and tingly inside... sigh...
Anyway, it's what happened after the fight that matters...
~
"Sailor Moon," I heard Greg, a friend of Ami's and the
latest Rainbow Crystal carrier, call. "May I speak to you for a
moment?"
"Sure," I replied with a shrug, motioning for the others to
leave, "Go on without me, guys. I'll be fine."
"Are you sure, Sailor Moon," Lita asked, her eyes
shimmering with concern, "You might get attacked."
I couldn't help but give a small laugh at the thought before
shaking my head and replying, "I'll be fine; I can take care of
myself. Now go before I moon dust you three!"
Rei and Lita cracked a smile before wandering off in two
different directions. When they were out of sight, I turned to
Mercury and stated, "Ami, it's okay. You can go now; I'll take
care of Greg for you-don't worry."
A blush stained Ami's cheeks as she ducked her head and
stammered, "I-I just wanted to make sure that you got home okay.
That's all."
"Um-humm... and I'm the Princess of Earth; get going! I
promise that I will not let Greg get hurt. Besides don't you have
an advanced calculus test to study for?"
"Oh my gosh! I totally forgot! I'm only 5 chapters ahead;
gotta get going, Sere. See you at school tomorrow," she squealed,
throwing a wave and a look over shoulder in Greg's direction,
"Bye, Greg."
"Bye, Ami," Greg whispered before growing silent as he
watched her form be swallowed up by the night.
When we were finally alone, I turned to Greg and asked
softly, "What is it you wanted to talk about?"
"Huh. Oh, yeah, that..." Greg paused, glancing up to meet
my gaze as if for reassurance before he continued, "I-I wanted you
to know that I know all about you-who you are and who you
were-how you feel about Darien. What I wanted to say is don't
be afraid to let Darien know how you feel. Don't feel like you are
betraying Endymion; he's right in front of you."
For a moment, all I could do was gape like a fish at the
dark haired young man standing in front of me. I tried to force my
vocal cords to form all the questions in my mind, but they all came
out as squeaks. It was a wonder that I could even squeak, "Ho-
how?"
A look of deep, troubled sorrow crossed Greg's features as
he looked wistfully to the moon. Pain clouded his eyes for a
moment before he took a deep, steadying breath and whispered,
"It's not my place. I can only tell you that I know you need not
fear your feelings for Darien-he will not reject you. Now, I must
go before my parents worry. Goodbye, Sailor Moon, and
remember what I said."
Moments later, Greg sprinted off in the direction opposite
my home. Shadows quickly engulfed his lithe form taking with it
the secrets of his physic mind, but I did not really care. I knew he
had told me too much, and yet I was grateful for what I had been
told. I now knew that I could face Darien because he was the one
for whom I searched all my life. How did I know? I couldn't say,
but deep in my heart I knew that Endymion lived in him just as
Serenity lived in me. Her spirit cried out for his just as mine cried
out for Darien's. They had to be one and the same-they had to
be.
But how was I supposed to convince Darien of this truth?
How was I to convince him that he was Endymion? Could I even
convince him? Would he believe me? What if my heart was
wrong-what if he wasn't Endymion? No, no that couldn't be
true. Greg said that I need not worry about betraying my prince.
This is all so confusing!!!!! I cried mentally with an internal
scream of frustration.
"What the he!! do you think you are doing," A gruff but
vaguely familiar voice hissed as an unseen hand grabbed my wrist
in a vice like grip. Electricity tingled along my spine but not from
fear-it was caused by something deeper than that. Irritated that
someone would grabbed me in such a way, I spun around on my
heel to meet my attacker face to face; I had my hand poised to
strike at any moment.
"DARIEN!" I shrieked, my heart stopping for a brief
second before beginning the hundred yard dash, "You nearly gave
me a heart attack!"
"Sorry, but what are you doing out here so late at night and
still dressed like-like that? Are you asking to be attacked?"
"I can take care of myself Darien; I don't need your
protection," I state haughtily, yanking my wrist from his grasp and
crossing my arms over my chest in defiance.
"You obviously need someone to look out for you
considering you don't have enough sense not to walk through a
park in the dead of night in a torn mini-skirt," Darien paused,
visibly trying to check his anger, "There are some perverted people
in this world that would not hesitate to take advantages of a young
girl in your situation."
"Well, aren't you the observant one," I cried, pulling at the
edges of my torn skirt, trying to regain some modesty, "If I've
been attacked by anyone so far, it has been you. What gives you
the right to be so overprotective. You aren't my father!"
"No, I'm not, but he must not care very much about you if
he let you out of the house looking like that," Darien huffed, his
eyes blazing with anger.
"Don't talk about my father, " I exploded, furious that he
would bring my father into our private argument, "He doesn't even
know that I have this on."
"Even better; what would he say if he did know?" Darien
returned with equal fire in his voice and eyes.
"What do you care!" I exploded, fuming that he was
mocking me and using my father as ammunition. The nerve.
"Who does he think he is, anyway," I asked myself mentally-or
so I thought.
"Someone that cares about you more than you'll ever
know," Darien whispered, casting his eyes to the ground; the anger
was gone from his voice as was the fire from his eyes.
"Wha-"
"I-I just don't want to see you hurt," Darien pleaded, lifting
his eyes to mine, "I couldn't stand to see you get hurt. Please, go
home before someone really does try to take advantage of you.
You've already had two near death experience today; do you really
need another?"
Wow! Did Darien just admit that he cared about me? Did
he honestly say that was concerned. This was too good to be
true-but wait. Did he say two near death experiences? I only
counted one where he was actually involved.
"Two?" I asked, my eyes showing my bewilderment.
"The car and the monst-," Darien replied, cringing openly
at his mistake and abruptly cutting himself off, "I mean one near
death experience."
"No, I distinctly heard you say two," I pounced, "What
monster-how did you know?"
"At the Princess-D Ball you dropped a handkerchief; I
picked it up and put two and two together," Darien replied,
dropping his gaze to his shoes.
"But that would make you-" I trailed off as a sudden
giddy feeling washed over me. He had been in front of me the
entire time. Tuxedo Mask was Darien! This was perfect!
"Yeah," Darien whispered, blushing slightly as he pulled a
blood red rose out of thin air, "I bet you're disappointed; huh?"
"Disappointed," I asked bewildered, "Why would I be
disappointed-"
"Because your crush turns out to be the guy the-and I
quote, 'biggest jerk on the planet.'"
"Oh, that-well, that is to say-I was mad. We argued, I
got mad, and said something I shouldn't have. Why does it bother
you so? It's not like you care. Or do you," I mumbled, my voice
suddenly dropping in octaves as a dreadful idea flashed through
my mind. What if he doesn't care for me?
"I-I care about you more than you shall ever know," Darien
whispered, caressing my face with gentle fingertips. "But you-
you're too young. I can't impress my feelings upon you-go-go
home; forget tonight ever happened."
Darien's hand dropped to his side as he turned away from
me. His shoulders slumped, and his stride was long but unsure.
Gone was the confidence and the arrogance from his body and
stride. Gone was the pretense. He loved me; I was sure of it, and I
loved him. There was no way that he was going to get out of it
that easily.
"No," I stated firmly. "No one is ever to young to know
love. I can't forget what you said. Not when it's what I wanted to
hear for so long."
"Serena-wha-what are you saying?" Darien asked,
turning to face me.
"I-I fell in love with you. I-I don't know when or how, but
I did."
"No, not me," Darien stated sorrowfully, his head dropping
to the pavement, "You love Tuxedo Mask-"
"No, not Tuxedo Mask-you. I fell in love with you-my
enemy-my torturer-my savior. I didn't even know you were
Tuxedo Mask until tonight," I cried fervently.
Darien stood before me, unmoving-like stone. His eyes
grew wide with disbelief as I closed the distance between us. He
had to know-had to understand. He just had too. Maybe, maybe
the only was to tell him the truth about tonight-this outfit, my
new look, how I had wanted to get his attention. Would he laugh
at me or would he find the idea endearing? I didn't know, but I
had to try.
"I-I wanted you attention so badly that I threw caution to
the wind and allowed my mother to play with my hair and clothes.
I allowed her to transform me into someone that I didn't even
recognize at first. I-I just wanted you to notice me so badly," I
whispered in a small, shy voice that shook slightly with
apprehension and bordered on whimpering. He had to believe me;
he just had to. I didn't know what else to do or to say that would
make him understand my heart.
"I already noticed you-a long time ago," Darien
murmured, closing the distance between us and gently running a
finger along my cheek, "I noticed you before you ever threw that
horrible test in my face. I-I just didn't know how to tell you or
how to act around you. I-I'm not very good with people, so I
decided to push you away-"
"You didn't have to. I would have been your friend."
"Yes, but you see that was the problem. I didn't-nor do I
want to be just your friend. I wanted to be more, and I still do. I
want you-all of you-as my own, but I know that is too much to
ask. And therefore, I will not ask it of you."
"Why? I am offering my heart to you now; isn't that
enough," I whispered, my body trembling with emotion.
"You are too young to know what you are offering me. No,
go find someone your own age. Someone that is willing to hang
around for a short time and then move on when you get bored with
him," Darien stated softly. "That is the type of relationship that
fits your age group-nothing permanent just like your emotions.
Young love fades in due time and then I will be only a memory.
Goodbye, Serena. Find someone else to love."
I couldn't believe my ears. Was Darien really telling me to
move on? Was it really possible that he didn't return my
feelings-but he did! I know it; I feel it. Why is he pushing me
away. And what is it with this young love line, anyway? First
Luna and now Darien. Did the whole world think that teenagers
couldn't know everlasting love?
"I-I can't-I-I can't move on," I stammered, holding a
clenched fist over my heart, "You are a part of me. If you leave, a
part of my soul leaves with you. So you see, we are stuck with
each other. There is no parting without causing undue pain to both
of us-our hearts-our soul.
"I know you feel it Darien; I know you feel your heart and
soul cry out for mine. We are one, and there is nothing in this
universe that can change that. You are my prince, my destiny-
my-my Endymion."
"Ho-how did you know that," Darien whispered, stunned
beyond words, "How did you know who I was? How is it
possible. No one knows about my real name, not even social
services."
"I-your soul calls out to me in my dreams," I whispered,
casting my eyes to the ground, "My-my real name is Serenity-
not Serena. Serena's just a nickname that my mother-rather my
aunt gave me when I was little."
"Sere-"
"Endy?"
"Is it really you," Darien whispered, reaching out to touch
my face once more.
"Yes, it's really me," I murmured equally as soft as I
allowed my birthmark to shine through, "We are together again,
my love, forever and always."
"Oh, Serenity! How-how is this possible," Darien cried
crushing me against him.
"I-I don't know; my memories are hazy after Beryl
attacked the Moon," I replied, staring into Darien's sapphire gaze,
"I don't remember anything after the initial attack and even that's
hazy."
"I-it doesn't matter; all that matters is that we found each
other again."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Was that all that
mattered to him? Did he only care about her? Oh, God! what was I
to do? If he just wanted me because of her-I-I don't know what I
would do. I would be devastated. No, I couldn't handle that; I
couldn't handle just being a body.
"No," I whispered, pushing Darien away form me roughly as I
crossed my arms over my chest protectively. My body trembled; I
couldn't look him in the eyes anymore. The hurt was far too great.
"That's not all that matters."
"Serenity, what's wrong," Darien asked, confusion
shinning in his eyes.
"This isn't right," I stammered, tears springing forth from
my eyes, "You-we can't be together just because of our past. It
has to be because of our present-how our new identities feel
about each other in this time and this place-not how our souls felt
a thousand years ago.
"I-I must go. Goodbye, Endymion-Darien."
Tears burned my vision, but I didn't care. I had to get out
of there, away from Darien's shocked face. I couldn't stand to see
the hurt that had crossed his features for another moment. He only
cared about her-Serenity. He didn't care about me. How could I
have been so stupid?
"Serena," Darien cried, grabbing my wrist and pulling me
too his firm chest, "Don't leave me; please, don't leave me. I-I
can't stand to be alone any longer. I-I love you; I always have.
You're just so young that I didn't know if or how to tell you."
"I-it's too late, Darien. I-I know where your true emotions
lie; you care only for Serenity not me. Well, that's fine, but she's a
part of me, and you can't love her without going through me, and I
won't be used as a host. I-I couldn't stand to be used as a host-"
"Serena, don't you get it? I tried to push you away because
I love you," Darien cried, his eyes a little desperate as he crushed
me against his chest for a second time in two minutes, "I-I love
you, and I can't let you go."
"But what about Serenity?"
"I would love you even if you weren't Serenity," Darien
replied, love shining in his eyes, "She's just the icing on the cake."
"Do you really mean it?"
"Yes, I love you-not her. For goodness sake, I don't even
really know Serenity. How could I love her?"
"I guess when you put it that way," I replied with a
mischievous smile, purposely allowing my voice to trail off.
"What's that supposed to mean," Darien cried, a bit
indignant.
"Nothing," I teased. "Nothing at all."
"It must have meant something."
I groaned in frustration and nearly shouted, "Just shut
up and kiss me, already."
"My pleasure," Darien whispered before he closed the
distance between our lips in a sweet declaration of love.
~*~
Dear Diary, June 1999
As you well know, seven years have passed since my first kiss.
In that time, Darien and I started dating. During that time, we
defeated Queen Beryl, the Dark Moon, the Death Busters, the Dead
Moon Circus, and a plethora of others enemies. Then, in my senior
year of college-yes! I got into college-Darien and I moved in
together. He had actually proposed when I was sixteen, so my parents
gritted their teeth when I left. A month ago I finished my nursing
degree, and today, in the presence of family and friends, Darien and
I were united in holy matrimony. Tomorrow, we take off for our
honeymoon-a cruise around the world courtesy of Darien's trust fund.
I can't wait!
Oh! I hear Darien coming! I better go get dinner off the
stove-yes! I can cook. Darien taught me! Well, I better go.
Love,
Mrs. Serenity Shields
~ End ~
~*~
Wow! You actually finished this? Amazing. I would have
thought you would have left by now. Guess, not if you're reading
this... Hmm... not much to say other than I am waiting for
Raseyu to give me back chapter 5 of "Dream Diary." She
promised to work on it this time, so we'll see how much I get and
how long it takes. Anyway, thank you for reading, and I sincerely
hope that you've enjoyed this even if it is a bit clichéd by now. I
started it back in July, but never could seem to finish it. I've
rewritten both the middle and the end at least three times, so I
really hope it made sense. Some parts got to be really boring and
really confusing in the original... Please, drop me a line and tell
me what you think. I would really appreciate it. Thanks. ^_^
Mistic
misticlady@hotmail.com
Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon are (c) Naoko Takeuchi, Bandai,
Kodansha, Toei Animation, etc.
