Chapter Three
Truth Be Told
(Veritaserum not required, but a little wine would do)
Finally Friday afternoon came and Hermione, Ron, Harry, and her went down to the kitchens.
"Who is this sir? Who do you bring to visit Dobby, Harry?" Asked Dobby. "Lleannon, this is Dobby, Dobby- Lleannon." Harry introduced in response to Dobby. "Pleased to meet you, Miss. Dobby is at your service, ma'am." Dobby said to her. "Respectful little gits aren't they?" Lleannon whispered to Hermione, "Well, Dobby… I have heard you are quite the outgoing little house-elf. Don't follow all the rules. Well, today, for that we are grateful. You might be the only one who will do this favor for us." "Yes… I will. I am proud to not follow the rules. And a friend of Harry Potter's is a friend of Dobby's. What is it that Dobby can do for you, Miss." Dobby said respectfully. "Well, Dobby. The four of us are looking to have a little fun this evening and we need you to sneak us 3 bottles of the wine that the staff drinks." Lleannon told him. "Oh, yes, right away. Dobby will also get you 4 goblets to drink out of." Dobby said and scampered away. Within minutes he returned arms full and handed them what they asked for. They thanked Dobby profusely and led off to the Gryffindor tower.
"So, when shall the festivities begin? A little later perhaps, but also… where will we have this celebration?" Ron asked the three of them, open to any suggestions. "Well, there are a lot of secret passages here. We could find one near the tower and go at night, after supper." Harry suggested. And they all instantly agreed. They ate their supper in the Great Hall once again, and aside from Lleannon and Snape's ritualistic `stare-down' it was a wonderful evening.
"Guys, we're going to have to do this without the Invisibility Cloak. We all just won't fit in it." Ron whispered to them as they made their way back to the tower. "Yes, but we could at least get all we can around ourselves. Filch might at least think his eyes were playing tricks on him. He is old after all." Hermione whispered back. And they agreed again. At a quarter till eleven the four of them grabbed the wine and the goblets and tried as best they could to wrap themselves in the cloak. They went out the portrait hole and the Fat Lady sat looking bewildered when it appeared that no one had come out. The four of them started feeling down the corridor until finally Harry whispered, "I found one!" He pushed a tile in the wall inward and a little square hole formed in the wall. They climbed through it one after the other and found themselves sitting in a room filled with clouds. Lleannon jumped up and pulled a large one down and hopped up onto it, "Look here, guys! Grab one and have a sit! They're mighty comfortable." So they all did as she had before and found it a most pleasant experience to sit atop a cloud. They all began pouring wine and drinking. They laughed at the jokes they'd heard over the week and all the miscellaneous funny things that had happened. It soon became that anything and EVERYTHING was funny.
"And then, this one time at b-hic-and camp… hic!" Lleannon fell off her cloud and hit the floor with a thud. They all hushed from tearing laughter to look at her. She sat up, eyes closed, and doubled up with laughter. They soon followed in unison.
"Guys… I am gon-hic-gonna go to the library, real-hic-ly go to the library and get a book on wine." She said to them standing up. They all started laughing. "The library is clo-hic-sed." Hermione told her. "I know-hic!" She said. They all began laughing hysterically again and she left the passage-way. She only got half-way down the hall hiccupping before a tall dark shape came down the corridor towards her. She laughed and fell to the ground looking avidly at the figure. It was Snape. He scooped her up and looked at her, "Oh dear. You're drunk. Maybe just a little too much like your mother." "What do you m-hic-ean?" Lleannon asked him. "C'mon, let's get you up to bed."
He walked her to the Gryffindor portrait hole, "Now, what's the password?" "Uhm… hic- it's skally wank. Oh, wait… no- hic! It's… six times seven! Forty-two!" She was in hysterics. Snape sighed, "Well, this is getting us no where… you're going to have to come back to my room for a night cap. I don't want you getting into trouble." And he carried her down to the dungeons and to his room. He lit a fire and sat her down in a chair where she fell over laughing. "Now don't go sticking your hand into the fire or anything stupid like that, I'll be right back." He said and left. A couple of the words processed through Lleannons mind, "go sticking your hand into the fire," and "I'll be right back." She thought for a moment there was a "don't" before the first phrase she remembered so she knew well not to do that maybe even being in the state she was in. He returned moments later with a vial full of a purple liquid.
Snape sat next to her and held it up, " I need you to drink this for me. It won't relieve you of the condition you're currently in, but tomorrow morning when you wake you won't feel as unpleasant as I should let you feel for this. I don't believe your fifth day here and you're already in bad habits." He shook his head and opened the vial. She grabbed for it, but he pulled it away from her," Just open your mouth and sit still for a moment." She opened her mouth probably as wide as it would go and had to stifle a laugh. He poured the fluid down her throat and recapped the bottle. She put her head back up and faced him. `You know you want to do it, so just do it already. You'll regret it if you don't!' A voice inside her said. She put her hand gently on his face and kissed him on the lips. Somewhere inside she was still sober because she was quite amazed that he didn't back away from her. But then, when she had pulled away he jumped up from the chair and looked down at her astonished. And at that moment she had realized her error. `My God! I just kissed a teacher. My Defense teacher.' And, drunk or not, she would remember that moment until the day she died. She turned away from him, her face, she could feel, brighter than scarlet. Maybe he would have been less surprised if she had grabbed his face and been hard with the way she went about the kiss, but the fact that it was sensual was what scared him. He would have understood it better that way. People do crazy things when they are drunk, usually unmeaningful things, but that was not the way it felt to him. It felt very passionate and most sincere indeed.
Everything became serious to Lleannon. She was still under the influence, but it seemed as though she were only slightly tipsy. She knew everything that was going on around her. Well, almost. She was most oblivious to her surroundings, but she was quite aware of what had just happened and the seriousness of it.
"I- I am… so sorry." She stammered, still looking away from him. But he stayed silent, not knowing what to say or how to react, aside from jumping up from his seat. "Please say something. Even if it's "get out of my room!" just say SOMETHING." Lleannon begged. "I- I don't know what to say. I won't tell you to get out. You need somewhere to be with someone supervising you. You're likely to hurt yourself. May-maybe… we just forget about what happened. Just- let's get to sleep." Snape rambled. " I can't sleep right now. I- I don't want to forget about it." She said. `Confront him! Yes… you're drunk. Even if you look stupid you have an excuse, just do it! Ask him why he's been acting so strangely as of late. Ask him why he stares at you the way he does. When can you ever do it but now without making an utter fool of yourself?!' The voice said to her. But then she thought, `You got me into this mess, and now you want me to make it worse? Oh, to hell with it!'
"Why? Why have you been acting like you have been? This past week, anytime I see you, you stare at me and then look away as though I don't know you're looking at me?" She shouted at him. Finally she turned to look at him with fierce eyes. "I- I- you remind me so much of your mother. And-and you know that I fancied her… well, I think I might look at you the way I looked at your mother." He replied without much stall. "What? You mean you- you like me?" Lleannon asked again. "I don't know alright!" He said becoming hostile. "Well, you don't have to get mad at me because you feel for me! I didn't do it!" She shouted back. His face was flush with a mixture of anger and embarrassment but he didn't make any attempts to hide it, "I'm not mad at you for it. I'm mad at myself." "Why? You probably can't help it. And if you can then there's no problem." She said calming herself. "Well… why did you kiss me?" He asked. He felt like a child asking such questions and if this bothered him so much why did he continue? Why did he keep asking questions?
`Idiot! She's drunk. My Gods, "Why'd you kiss me?" Honestly do you really think she could feel that way of you? She's eighteen years old!' He told himself. "I kissed you because I wanted to. I watch you look at me and I wonder what it is. `Why does he look at me like this?' And then I wonder `Why do I look at him like that?' And I knew why but I was afraid.
"I'm drunk… I couldn't help it. My emotions got all the better of me. Something inside said `Do it! You might never have the chance again!' So… I did. It may have meant nothing at all, but I had to know." She finally responded. And, once again, as though reading his mind she knew what came next, "Yes! Alright! It meant something. Okay, get off my back about it alright?" She turned away from him again. "It's alright." He sat next to her again and rested a hand gently on her shoulder, `Now what do I say? Where do I go from here? What does this all mean?' "I'm afraid that what you feel for me is only what you felt from my mother. That you'd only be living through me because I remind you of her. What if one day I did or said something that threw you off and all of a sudden you felt for me no more. I'm not all EXACTLY like my mom." Lleannon cut in on his thoughts. "No! I know you aren't your mother. That's not how it is." He contradicted her. She turned and looked into his eyes. His endless, black eyes. Warm and truthful. His expression was almost hurt. "I want to kiss you again." She told him. "It's not right. It just would not be right." Snape said to her. "Like you've never broken the rules?" She questioned. He opened his mouth to speak again but she leaned in to him and kissed him again on the mouth. Neither of them pulled away. Instead, Snape pushed her lips apart with his own and their tongues met, exploring one another's mouths. Lleannon breathed deeply through it all. She had been prepared for him not to accept her, but for him to further it was amazing to her. His hand reached up to caress her face. They were sitting in the most awkward positions until Lleannon had leaned back on him on the chair.
They laid there doing this for the longest time until finally Snape reluctantly pulled away from Lleannon, "This is against my morals and beliefs. I can't allow it to continue." He stared into her eyes, almost hypnotized. "Why? Do you always fight feelings for people? Is that why you're always alone? Is that why no one here seems to enjoy your company? Loathing it, as a matter of fact. I certainly don't need this then! I think I can return to my house. Thank you for your services. Goodnight!" Lleannon nearly shouted trotting off to the door. "Lleannon, wait! Don't go!" He called but she was already off up the corridor.
`How could I have been so foolish to think… ugh! I can't even think about thinking it!' And then an even worse thought crossed her mind… Harry, Hermione, and Ron! Where could they be? Maybe asleep in the tower, having been too drunk to worry about Lleannon. Or maybe still in the secret passage wondering where she got off to. Or maybe even searching the school for her. She looked around for the passageway but was too drunk before to remember where it was. Then she whispered out their names. It was no use. She'd have to wait till morning and hope they weren't in trouble. What would she tell them? Certainly not of her and Snape's encounter. But what? Well, at least she had until morning to figure it out.
She returned to the tower and climbed up the stairs to her dorm. `Whew!' She thought. There lay Hermione in her four-poster asleep, the curtains pulled wide. `Good, they went on without me. Hopefully they won't remember much of last night so they won't ask too many questions.' She thought. Wrong.
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