Disclaimer: Refer to Chapter 1
Acceptance
Chapter Thirteen
Selphie pressed the phone closer to her ear her face suddenly growing into huge beam, her whole body exploding inside her as she received the news they had been waiting for a very long time. She slammed the phone back on its receiver after uttering a short quick and very excited good bye. "Woooooooo hoooooooooooo! Rinoaaaaaa! Ellone!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed jumping in the air, only to realize that the only other person in the room or in hearing distance was Cid.
"Calm down Selphie, what is it? Have they found Squall... is.. everything alright?" he asked, guessing that the only reason Selphie would be jumping up in the air and yelling her friend's names, would be that Squall was safe and sound.
"He's back at the SeeD base at Dollet. The Galbadians are moving out and everyone's coming home!!!!" Selphie shouted as she zipped out of the door skidded into the elevator, punching the button to get to ground floor. The elevator came to a halt and before the doors had even fully opened Selphie had shot out, almost tripping up on her way. "RINOA! ELLONE!!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed at the top of her voice as she hurtled down the path, almost knocking everybody over on her way. "Where are you guys!" she yelled, stopping and spinning around dizzily to see if they had come out from anywhere.
"Hey! Watch it will ya!" yelled an angry ten year old SeeD cadet as Selphie had whizzed past.
"Sorreeee! Have you seen Rinoa and Ellone anywhere?" she asked excited and breathless, unable to stop grinning like a Cheshire cat.
"Library last time I saw them," he replied, staring at Selphie as if she was mad. "You smile waaaay too much!" he told her, Selphie smiled more and sped of towards the library, yelling her friends names on the way.
Rinoa was sitting at the back half of the library buried in a book, her face a picture of worry. Over the past few days she had just been getting more and more worried about Squall and not having him there by her side, not knowing if he was safe or even alive, was eating Rinoa from the inside out. Never before had she missed anything or anyone more then she missed Squall. Lately, it had just been growing, all the loss and the love. Nothing else mattered to her anymore, just to hold him in her arms, to be held in his arms again. All she could think of was touching him, kissing him, anything! She would give up everything just to see him again! Just to be able to touch him.
Ellone was sitting next to her, reflecting on her friendship with Squall as children. He still called her Sis sometimes, she loved that. She remembered when she had first seen Squall again for the first time in years, with Quistis too, when they had saved her from that great monster. Such a feeling of happiness, but of sorrow to come to know that they couldn't even remember her. Over the two years though, they had re-grown their friendship, it had taken a short while for Squall to come up and start talking, but after that little while he had came up to her and they had talked, about anything. Squall spoke of Rinoa a lot, of how much he loved her and everything else. They were like his best friends; she only wished he could open up to his other friends as much as he did to her.
"Rinoaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!! Ellone!!!!!" Selphie screamed and stopped short of Rinoa. The young sorceress looked up and stared at Selphie's happy face, a glint of hope began to shine in her eyes. "It's Squall! He's safe! And he's coming back home later today!! Everyone's coming back! Everyone's alive and safe Rinoa! Ellone!!!" Selphie shouted as if they were all deaf.
Rinoa's face stared dumbly at Selphie the shock of it had hardly set in. her lips parted and then her eyes lit up with pure happiness, her mouth grew like a seed into a flowering smile and she wept with her joy. Ellone and Selphie hugged Rinoa tight and they all cried, but not as much as Rinoa. The young woman cried so much she was forced to sit back down, burying her head in her knees to weep.
"He's alive! He's alive! He's alive!" she cried, letting her mascara run down her cheeks. Thank you Hyne! Squall's alive! Thank you, thank you, and thank you! Oh my Hyne, he's alive I'm going to get married Squall I love you! I love you! I love you! Please marry me! Please love me as you did before I refused you! Please forgive me! I love you! I love you so much...I would die!
"I'm getting married!" Rinoa sobbed wiping her eyes with her arm, "I'm...going to be Squall's wife! I'm....he'll be my husband..." Rinoa cried, beginning to babble. Selphie hugged her friend again, she was almost in tears herself, and even Ellone was wiping her eyes.
"Yeah! We know!" Ellone said, a little choked. "I'm so happy for you!"
"Wooooo-hoooooo ! Com'on! We have to spread the word! Get this wedding on the role! Everyone's more or less prepared, anyway but yaaa hoooo!!!!" Selphie shouted at the top of her voice. All she could think of doing right now was shouting and screaming.
Through out the garden a massive wave of excitement grew, when the news of Squall's coming return as well as everyone else's there had been a huge whoop of joy from every single person in Garden and a huge roar that everyone in Timber must of heard. It had been a struggle to stop them from opening every bottle of champagne in the building.
Finally. Squall was coming home. Home to his friends, to the Garden which he commanded, even though Cid sometimes forgot that and home to his one true love, Rinoa.
*****
Laguna watched his son as the young but wonderful SeeD stared out of his window, thinking of Rinoa, loving her and missing her. He was already in his SeeD uniform, all smart and tall, making Laguna feel a great sense of pride. That was his son. His son had become the commander of Garden at seventeen. His son had saved the world with the help of his true friends. His son was going to get married to the most beautiful of angels, Rinoa. His son was Squall and he was so proud of him. If only he could tell him this, but he couldn't, for Squall didn't seem to want him as a father.
I know I have failed you, Squall as a father and you Raine as a husband. I should of...made sure you were alright I should of been there. I can see that I should have kept closer to you. Maybe it would of been best if I had brought you to Esthar, or would the journey there could killed you? I still love you though Raine. I still love you a lot. I love our son too, I love Squall as my son. I've never told him this, I can't. He doesn't want to know. Laguna spoke to Raine in his thoughts as he watched Squall rest his chin in his palms.
The president of Esthar bit his lip and entered Squall's room, clearing his throat as he went in. His son turned around quickly, he hadn't expected his sudden visitor and he hadn't ever expected it to be Laguna.
My father. He had been repeating that over and over again in his head. Laguna... dad… he just couldn't imagine what it would be like to call him that... 'dad' it just sounded so weird. Half of him wanted to just turn around right now and call him that and to see what it would be like if he did call him his father. Some far away long lost part of him wanted to accept Laguna as his father and wanted to be known as the son of the president. He wanted Laguna to introduce him to people as his father and he wanted to tell people that the man beside him, that the man who had brought a halt to the sorceress's war was his father. He wanted to say that this great man, this friendly warm loving and caring man was his dad and he was his son. The man who was loved because he was himself, because he cared so much. Squall just couldn't though, he couldn't call him dad.
"Laguna, what is it? Are we leaving now? I want to see Rinoa…" Squall asked him, mentally though, he had said, 'Dad' and not Laguna. It was only a few hours ago that he had been thinking, that all the way throughout his life, he had wanted his dad and even his mom. He had wanted a dad more though. Even through he had never really known what one was, he had always wanted one. Even at the young age of three, he had known that not every child grew up in an orphanage like he did with a matron. They had been read stories too, and the children in those stories all had mummies and daddies. Not Squall though and not anyone else. He remembered that his friends had all soon began to leave or become adopted, all apart from him and Seifer.
Quistis had gone, but due to her bossy character, things hadn't worked out. Selphie, Zell and Irvine. He had been a late comer in re-joining the gang, so had Selphie too really. It had always been Squall, Seifer and Quistis though and Zell had always managed to come into it in some way or another.
"We're leaving in half an hour Squall, Esthar cars are quite speedy and it'll only take us two hours to get from here to garden, near Timber. We'll arrive there by seven in the evening," Laguna answered. "That wasn't what I wanted to talk about though," he said a little more quietly. Squall felt something fall over him, a realization that they would have to talk about it someday.
"........" Squall sat down on his bed and looked down at the floor for a while before he looked back up at Laguna. "Yeah," he sighed sadly. Laguna sat down on Squalls bed beside his son. They had half of an hour to talk; he had better make the most of it.
"I know that you know that I'm your father," Laguna began to a shaky start, he felt himself shaking all over. Am I so scared, so nervous? I shouldn't be nervous around my son… "But, I've never really, umm, said this to you myself. It must of been quite easy to assume that you were my son by Ellone taking you back into my past...my painful past. That Raine had a son who was sent to an orphanage and you so close to Ellone, who was your sister more or less. It was one of those things you just know instantly and don't need umm, telling," Laguna stuttered. All is going all wrong...you're blabbering Laguna Loire!
"I know that you are........who you are," Squall said in a fragile voice. I couldn't say it; I couldn't say that he was my father. I just couldn't say it "I knew when I first met you in Esthar," Squall continued, "it was in your eyes and everyone else's. Kiros and Ward more or less confirmed my suspicions." Just say it...just say dad… do it... he can call you his son…why can't you say my father just once?
"I just want to make one thing clear. I don't expect you to go around calling me your father; I don't expect anything like that from you. I know you probably don't want me as your father, you are nineteen, and you don't need a dad anymore. I don't want you to accept me as your father, but just to tell me, in more words, that you have acknowledged that I am," Laguna said in one single forced tone.
Squall felt he had already told him, but to please the president of Esthar, he said it all over again. "I know who and what you are to me Laguna. I know that Raine was my mother and I know that you are my..." Squall paused. Just say it. You are my father. Say it. "My father." Wasn't so hard after all! "I don't know how I feel about this, it feels strange. To call you father it seems weird. You're like a stranger to me yet I feel that I've known you all my life," Squall gulped a lump of tears down his throat, he didn't know why he wanted to cry, but he did. Rinoa had taught him to cry over the two years, to let his heart open up. It had taken a while, but finally, he felt something beginning to flow inside him. It felt as if a new birth of life had been expelled from his heart and around his body. Somebody had cleaned out the old and put in a new.
"That's all right Squall," he smiled and patted his son on the back. "I just want to tell you something though, just a little something, before we go home. I'll be leaving for Esthar again in a day or so, so we probably won't be seeing each other for a long time."
"......What?" Squall asked and forced himself to turn his head and look at Laguna in the eyes. Father to son, man to man.
"I'm proud of you, any father would be. You've accomplished so much especially for you age. A lot has happened to you and your life has only just started, a lot has happened to me too, but I had experienced a lot before hand. You are a SeeD Squall, commander of Garden too, a lot for a young man like you to take on and to accept it too. You have someone very special though you know. Rinoa, so you don't have to be scared of anything anymore. Rinoa will always be there for you, its love and love sticks. I know this Squall, I found Raine and even through her death, I still love her as I did when I first saw her," Laguna said, saying a little more then he had expected himself to do.
Squall found his tongue stuck to the top of his mouth and unable to speak. He's proud of me he's proud to be my father and that I am his son...and I'm privileged to have Laguna as my father. I thought I would hate this but the truth is, I don't actually mind it. Squall didn't know what to say or how to reply, but by the look in Laguna's eyes, he didn't have to.
"Hey, we better be on our way Squall," Laguna gave a quick smile and stood up.
"Yeah," Squall said with a croak, "home," he looked at his father for a second and then walked off towards the exit, bags packed and memories set.
Rinoa I'm coming home. Coming home to you and I love you. I won't ask you to marry me again; it can't be what you want. I'm happy as we are now aren't I?
I don't now what I was thinking until I was thinking of you.
I fell so in love with you Rinoa, when we danced that night at the party at the beginning of those two years ago.
I'd give up my sight to see you; I'll cut off my hands just to touch you.
I haven't seen you or touched you in almost six weeks, Rinoa, I want to see you now and touch your skin more then ever!
Because I wouldn't want to be me if I didn't have you!
I would be nothing...nothing without you. I'd hate myself more and more and I wouldn't be where I was or what I am now if it wasn't for you!
I don't know how I was living, until you came into my life.
As blind and I was stupid. Now I have you to love Rinoa and I can see now, you have opened my life and you have made me see all that I have been blind to in the past.
I was alone and in silence till I was hearing your voice
Your voice opened my ears Rinoa. You made me hear when I first heard your voice, like an angel. I'm not alone anymore though, I have you, friends and even a father.
I would tear out my heart so you would know how I would feel
I love you! My heart is yours so take it! This is how much I love you Rinoa!
Because love is a gift and you gave it to me
You gave me your love and I gave you mine, I hope you know this Rinoa.
I didn't know I was bleeding until your love fixed this hole here in my heart.
You stitched my heart up and gave my soul the kiss of life. You healed the wound I didn't know was there by coming into my life. Thank you Rinoa, thank you for this. I love you and nothing will stop me from that. Nothing, not you, nobody. Death won't hinder us not one single thing, because I love you. Rinoa
