Disclaimer: Gundam Wing's not mine. blahblah.



Title: Staring into the Void

A shadowy veil played across Meiran's face, choreographed by the movement of the window's gauzy curtain in the wind. Wufei slept next to her; this was unusual. Most nights found them either apart or, occasionally, in the strained company of one another, not knowing quite what their matrimony meant, not knowing quite what they were supposed to mean to one another.

This day had been different, quiet and unpretentious. They had spent an obligatory afternoon together, almost genuinely enjoying one another's company outdoors. Which wasn't to say they hadn't argued endlessly over every fundamental value each believed in, but it had lacked the belligerence that often seemed to follow underfoot, biting their ankles and pulling their hair like an impatient child who wasn't receiving enough attention to satisfy his tastes. Perhaps the sun had permeated each of their skins, giving them a gift of warm contentedness, and dulled the sharp, painful edges of their relationship. Somehow, though, they had ended up here, in "their" room, a room not often occupied by both of them at once. Wufei had a habit of staying up nights, poring over books, while Meiran preferred to expend energy by dancing about the room and gracelessly falling into bed.

But it didn't matter at this moment. Meiran reached over slowly, gently, and fingered a wayward strand of hair on her husband's neck. His expression seemed soft and eerie under the glow of the waxing moon; with what was probably Wufei's equivalent of a contended, sleep-induced smile tugging at the edges of his mouth. Her eyes passed over his face and still form beneath the sheet, impelling her to sigh. He was a strange and unfathomable boy, obsessed with knowledge and facts that seemed to leave him devoid of feeling, of passion, especially for her. I am made of passion, she thought with conviction, and I will make you have passion too, someday.

Her eyes bored into his closed eyelids as she whispered. "Someday you will understand what I fight for. Someday I will not be so weak and you will no longer resent me." A band of crickets orchestrated their evening song, at once restless and soothing. Meiran sat up straight in her bed, possessed by a childlike desire to scream or cry, or more likely fight with everything in her soul the thing inside her that caused her such unfamiliar pain. "I will defeat you, Chang Wufei. Then you can love me in an amount equal to that which you despise me now."

Wufei shifted in his sleep, disquieted by the volume of her voice. Meiran froze, staring, not knowing whether to touch him softly and kiss him, as an idyllic, romantic part of her wished, or to attack his reposing body as a punishment for making herself feel such ridiculous things. To her surprise, his eyes opened, glassy and blurred with sleep.

"Sit down," he muttered, "I wish to sleep."

She remained still and upright, wishing neither to obey nor defy him. "You have your own room," she murmured, looking down at her knees as her face burned. Her words jolted him out of his drowsy state and he managed a cold look in her direction.

"Then that is where I will go." He stood up haughtily and stepped off of the mat, wrapping himself in his robe and turning for the door. With a pause, he uttered, barely audibly, "Good night, Meiran."

I love you.

"My name is Nataku," she stated firmly to his back, watching longingly as he disappeared into the hall.

I love you.