Piccolo's REALLY screwed up first date Kwannon Lory Wyvern Normal Kwannon Lory Wyvern 2 1214 2001-10-14T02:35:00Z 2001-10-14T02:35:00Z 5 2405 13713 114 27 16840 9.2720

Piccolo's REALLY screwed up first date

Disclaimer: Dragon Ball Z does not belong to me, and I make no money from this fic at all.

            Larania shivered, as she carefully buried the eggs in the scorching hot sands of the beach she'd found. When the instinct to find a nesting spot had hit her, she hadn't fought it, and tried to think through it as best she could. So, here she was on what seemed to be an abandoned stretch of sand, laying eggs.

            "Oh, gods," she muttered. Then she heard a muffled thump. Her head came up, and focused on the noise.

            "Lady, Piccolo?" she asked, and haltingly walked over to him. He was passed out cold, sprawling face forward on the burning sand, and she used a fore claw to turn him over.

            His face was frozen in a rictus of shock.

            "What happened to you?" she asked, as he started to slowly wake up.

            "Eggs?" he said drowsily, then tensed up. "EGGS?"

            Larania nodded, confused. "That's the general idea."

            "FIFTEEN?"

            Larania blinked once- then again.

            "OH! You thought there were fifteen eggs!"

            "THAT'S WHAT I SAID!"

            "Well, you don't have to worry about that."

            Piccolo stared at her helplessly confused.

            "Its an survival trait- most of those are just shells, decoys. Nothing lives inside them. One, maybe two of those eggs are actually viable. My father's rookery was one of the largest- they had three."

            Piccolo looked considerably relieved. Then he noticed the odd, pained expression that crossed her reptilian features

            "What's wrong?"

            "I don't feel so good," she whispered, and swayed on all four feet. Shaking her head, she started to shrink, taking on her smaller halfling form.

            Then she fell over sideways into the sand. "OOF!"

            "GODDESS!" she whimpered loudly. "That hurt."

            Piccolo got to his feet and walked over to her. "Considering that you just laid a bunch of eggs, even decoys, how could you expect NOT to?"

            She looked up at him with a glare. "Fine, go ahead and bring LOGIC into it…"

            Piccolo felt something odd in the back of his throat. Opening his mouth- he discovered it was a laugh…

~*~*~*~*~

            "You are really going to have to explain to me how you do this," Larania muttered, as Piccolo powered through the air like a bullet. For someone who had used wings her whole life, flying like this just seemed… unnatural.

            "It's faster than using AIR currents," Piccolo said with disdain as he carried her, her wings forming a kind of cloak around her.

            "Yeah? Well, I don't make the kind of freaking NOISE you do, either!" she snapped, the lingering pain she was in making her irritable. "Plus, it takes a hell of a lot more skill than just plowing your way through things. I bet you've never storm-danced, or fallen asleep in the air, or anything that takes knowing how the planet's forces work! SHEESH!"

            "Its harder than it looks, kid," he snarled, in her face.

            "KID? I'm a good two hundred years older than you!"

            "Why don't you act it?" he growled, and her slitted eyes went wide, and dilated, making them look like black holes.

            "You suddenly lay a bunch of eggs without even knowing the father, and see how you act," she muttered, looking away. She was still painfully close to the hysterics of a few days ago- and fussing with this male seemed to be the safest way to get rid of them.

            Dammit- she was no good when it came to flirting, or ANYTHING along those lines. She'd never really dealt with that kind of thing. Larania had never been in one place long enough to form any kind of attachments to people or things. Her eyes closed briefly, she allowed herself a moment to wallow in self pity, before telling herself she was a fool.

            "Stop that, baka," she said softly, she thought too softly for her transport to hear.

            "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" he roared, before dropping the very surprised dragon-girl.

            "Huh?" she asked, confused, before screeching as she dropped through the air. Her wings caught the air out of instinct, and she flew up to eye level with the Namek.

            "WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?" she snarled back, baring her teeth.

            "You insulted me!'

            "You insulted me first!"

            In case the reader could not tell, Piccolo, whether he would admit it or not, was in much the same state as Larania. Both of them were on the ragged edge emotionally.

            "ARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" they both yelled simultaneously, charging each other.

            What Piccolo didn't expect was for Larania to suddenly let herself drop, her wings folding in.

            "WHAT?" he roared, as she was rapidly lost from his sight… and he realized he couldn't sense her ki any more.

            He looked around, wondering what was going on, when he was slammed into from behind.

            Piccolo hissed like a cat, turning, before Larania flapped up to the sky, gaining height, until all he could see was a speck against the glare of the sun.

            He sneered. "Well, she apparently knows something about fighting in the air. But she doesn't any my strength," he said with confidence.

            Then he realized her tactics- she figured on him being stronger, but since he couldn't lock onto her ki, she had the advantage of surprise. Which was why she wasn't getting in close-

            "ACK!"

            He'd been knocked into again.

            "DAMMIT!" This time he'd lost a LOT of altitude- but taken no serious damage.

            Snarling, he closed his eyes, listening intently, feeling the changes in the air-

            His arm came out to smack into Larania's midsection.

            "Ooof!" he heard, as the air was knocked from her lungs; but instead of flying off again, she grabbed his wrist, and flung her feet talons into his abdomen.

            It shouldn't have been enough to hurt him. There was a scraping as the talons met his skin, leaving long, shallow scratches, which would have eviscerated anything weaker. Piccolo stared in shock, Larania yowled in disappointment.

            "BITCH!"

            "BASTARD!"

            He drew back, preparing to use his own claw like nails, and drew them down, slashing at her chest. Sparks flew as they grated against her scales.

            Larania went growled, desperately trying to keep a grip on him, when Piccolo fired a ki blast. It hit her point blank in the chest, and she fell…

            Piccolo watched, horror all over his face as he thought about what he'd done-

            She looked up at him, opened her mouth, he thought, to scream-

            He barely had enough time to push his ki out when incandescent fire streaked towards him, hotter than the glow of a star, and he shrieked in pain as his clothing burned away.

            Then it stopped, and he looked down to see her falling still, completely unconscious, a sucking wound in her chest.

            "NO!" Diving down, he managed to latch onto her wings and pull her into his grip, wincing at the stretching of his burned skin.

            "Shit," he muttered, and hissed when drops of her blood, which was black as ink, spattered his skin. It stung, like it was acid.

            Quickly, he flew to back to the Lookout landing hard on the tiles. Mr. Popo and Dende ran to him, before stopping about three feet away.

            "Piccolo?" Dende asked, eyes bulging.

            "Don't just stand there, heal her!" he barked, and Dende noticed then that Larania was…

            He blanched. He could hear the sound of air rushing in and out of her chest, and the gurgle of blood that was drowning her.

            Swallowing, he did as he was bidden, and the lungs and flesh and bone and skin knitted back together, leaving her chest and body whole.

            Piccolo, who'd been watching this intently, jumped when Mr. Popo laid a hand on his shoulder.

            "She'll be all right Piccolo. Dende is good at this."

            Piccolo only nodded. He didn't see the amused look on Mr. Popo's face, or the surprise, when he inspected his palm.

            "Are you aware you are covered in dust?" he asked, wiping his hand on his vest.

            Piccolo blinked- then created clothes for himself, his face turning purple. Clenching a fist, he looked at the dust in his palm- and realized it was his own skin. The entire top layer had been burned completely to dust.

            "What happened?" he heard someone ask, and he told them- not leaving out anything.

            His pride wouldn't admit to picking a fight… but he winced when he realized that was what had happened.

            He heaved the dragon girl in his arms, and started to carry her to her room.

            Then he turned. "Dende, mind watching the eggs?"

            Dende shook his head. No, he didn't mind.

            Carefully, Piccolo carried the dragon girl to her room, and put her on her bed, and covered her with a blanket, cursing.

            "Of course…" he thought, feeling oddly proud," she fought back well- and if she'd hadn't lost her temper, who knows who would have won?"

            Shaking his head, he turned leave… then changed his mind.

            Looking back at her, he reached out and touched the red locks of her hair, contrasting against his own green skin. He frowned, briefly. Should she still be sleeping?

            Well… she'd laid the eggs, fought him, and been healed. He guessed she'd earned the right to be tired.

            He pulled away slightly when she seemed to shift, her wings and tail not there any more, hands becoming more humanlike and loosing her brow ridge of horns.

            Making a cute little crooning noise, she rolled over, curling up. Piccolo was then forced to pinch his nose at the threatened nosebleed. The blanket had been shrugged off.

            Gesturing, Larania was dressed in a gi similar to his own, and suddenly he could breathe easier. Grumbling, he took up a meditative position, and hovered, waiting for her to wake up, thinking about his own confused feelings.

~*~*~*~*~

            The good thing about meditation was that it helped put some distance between himself and his emotions, which were running amuck.

            One, his first reaction was feel humiliated and kill this freak that had done this to him.

            Two, his second reaction was to feel stupid. She hadn't done it on purpose, and she was as humiliated as she was. She couldn't even remember it.

            Third, that he would have to deal with it. He'd been rather mad when she had seemed to assume he wouldn't help. While he hadn't been a willing participant… At this thought, his face turned a brilliant purple, again, and he'd had trouble thinking past it.

            Fourth, and the strangest of all, was the way she treated him. People were immediately intimidated by him; it was a given. Yet, she hadn't been. Larania had bantered with him like an old friend, not backing down for anything. Of course, this has resulted in her being injured…

            "Hell, I almost killed a woman who'd just given birth because she called me a baka," he growled softly. "I must be loosing my mind. That shouldn't affect me at all."

            There was a loud mutter back. "I wasn't calling YOU a baka, baka. I was calling myself one. Thought I probably should have included you."

            Looking up in surprise, he saw that Larania had rolled over again, and was sitting up, wincing.

            "The eggs?" she asked.

            "Dende is looking after them. What do you mean, you hadn't called me a baka?"

            "I meant what I said. I was talking to myself. I happen to be a raving lunatic, in case you haven't noticed," she huffed.

            "I had. You should still be sleeping."

            "Not when I smell this bad. I need a bath. Seen my satchel? I have clean clothes in it."

            Piccolo looked around, getting his feet back underneath him and tossed her the battered canvas sack she carried around. It was light, and from how flat it was, he could tell it carried nothing.

            She caught it deftly, and pulled out a pair of loose khaki colored pants, and a blue shirt, both of which had the holes necessary for her wings and tail, and undergarments.

            "How? That bag was empty!" he exclaimed in surprise. Larania smirked.

            "I pretty much have to carry everything with me that I want to keep," she said, and abruptly put her hand through the bottom of the bag. Nothing fell out, and she wiggled her fingers.

            "It's a subspace pocket. The bag holds nothing, but I can put anything into it, and get it back out in the same condition it went in. I haven't tried it with anything alive yet… but since I am constantly traveling, it's a good thing to keep around."

            Piccolo nodded dumbly.

            In fact, he was so surprised that he was still staring when she started to strip and headed to the bathing chamber. He didn't even get a nosebleed this time.

            Still thinking of this weird person that had stumbled willy-nilly into his life, he jerked, sensing a familiar ki heading towards the Lookout. With a backward glance to the bathing chamber, Piccolo headed out, to be met by an exuberant Gohan, who was talking loudly and almost bouncing with energy.

            "PICCOLO! I did it, I DID IT!" he shouted, giving his surprised mentor a huge glomp, before bouncing away, and doing the same to Dende, apparently for the second time, and grabbing Mr. Popo to twirl him around.

            "You smacked Vegeta down finally?" Piccolo asked, bemused.

            "NO! I asked Videl to marry me!"

            The Nameks and the djinn continued to stare as Gohan went Super Saiya-jin, still on cloud nine, in his own little world.

            "And she said YES!"

            They all stood stock still as he zoomed around, eyes wide, and grateful he was missing the trees and plants. This went on for some time, before Gohan finally tired himself out enough to finish with the message he was bringing.

            "Yeah, and I need to ask you, Piccolo… would you mind being my best man?"

            Piccolo couldn't speak for a moment. "You, me, what?"

            "In my wedding! You know, escort the maid of maid of honor down the isle, stand beside me and keep the wedding rings, and give them too me during the ceremony?"

            Piccolo was speechless. For a moment, all he could do was stand there, before he smiled faintly, a genuine smile, not a smirk, and nodded.

            "YATTA! Thank you Piccolo, thank you!" he yelled, before glomping Piccolo again. Piccolo had the oddest feeling then- his throat seemed to close up and his eyes stung. Why..?

            However, he didn't have time to dwell on that, when Gohan suddenly froze up.

            "Who's that?" he asked, looking over Piccolo's shoulder. Piccolo stiffened, and Gohan dropped from the hug, and he turned to see Larania looking at them both, smiling gently.

            Gohan walked up to her, and Larania's eyebrows shot up, then grinned and put a hand out. Gohan took it gingerly.

            "You are?" he asked, as they finished their hand shake.

            "My name is Larania, a pleasure to meet you," she said, bowing faintly. Gohan blinked.

            "I'm Gohan. Nice to meet you too. Can I ask what you are doing here?"

            Piccolo opened his mouth to interrupt, when Larania answered. "I ran into Piccolo. I got him into some trouble, which was rather embarrassing, and we are still working it out."

            "What kind of trouble?" Gohan asked, sounding curious, and turned to see his mentor's face turn colors. He almost laughed, then turned serious. "Piccolo, you know I'll help you if I can."

            Piccolo sighed, and suddenly found his shoes to be fascinating. "Its not exactly something you can help with…"

            Gohan looked back and forth between his mentor and this new person who was looking distressed at the obvious expression of panic on Piccolo's face.

            "Uh.. what brings you here, and how do you know Piccolo?" Larania asked suddenly, trying to keep things from getting TOO awkward.

            Gohan needed no further urging, as he sprang into a lengthy tale of how he met Piccolo, how great Piccolo was, and how Piccolo had saved his life numerous times and vice versa. THEN he started to tell her why he was there, about the girl he was marrying, how wonderful she was, clever, brave and beautiful…

            Larania then made the mistake of asking how he'd proposed. Gohan told her, in detail.

            Piccolo took the opportunity to watch her face during his, and saw the play of emotions on her face. She looked genuinely delighted at Gohan's news, and her face was about to split from the grin on it as he described how he'd proposed, and the mild disaster that accompanied it.

            "AND SHE SAID YES!" he crowed again, and another round of hugging started.

            "Oh yeah!" he skidded to a stop mid-glomp.

            "Piccolo, I was also going to ask you if you wanted to come to the party Mr. Satan is holding to announce our engagement."

            Piccolo opened his mouth to say no, when Larania gave him a look that said 'don't you dare'.

            "Yeah, sure."

            "Great!" Gohan almost started dancing again.

            Larania smirked a little, happy that she was getting back at Piccolo for his nearly killing her earlier…

            "It's a formal dance type thing… Larania would you mind being Piccolo's date?"

            This caught her flat footed.

            "Uh…"

            "She'd be happy too," Piccolo said before she could, smirking back at her.

            "GREAT! I can't wait to tell everyone you are coming Piccolo!"

            Gohan turned to launch himself off the Lookout. Before he left, however, he finished with:

            "And that you have a girlfriend!"

            Larania and Piccolo just looked at each other in horror.

 To be continued!