"Destiny?" Jeff asked quietly. I opened my eyes and saw them all. "You have us all worried sick...again."
"I'm stuck here, like this, for a month." I told them. "With the exception of psychical therapy, I can't move."
"I hate to see you like this." He said.
"That looks so cool!" Adam said pointing to my open back.
"It's about two inches cut away." I replied.
"That's not cool, Adam." Jay said. He looked freaked out at the sight.
"It's really not as bad as it looks." I told them.
"I'm sure that's a lie." Matt said. "I never heard someone cry like that."
"Ah, but the trick is morphine, pain killers." I said.
He laughed, "I know what you mean."
"So, two months?" Adam asked.
"Two. Maybe more." I answered. "I'll be at ring side."
"Maybe you should take some time off." Jeff said. "You don't want an injury like that getting worse."
"I just got off time off." I said. "I don't want to stay out too long."
"No one will forget you, if that's what you're afraid of." Jeff told me.
"I'm not." I said.
He sat in a chair next to me and took my hand and kissed it. I smiled the best I could under all the medication. I looked up and saw Matt leaning against the wall. A look of worry was in his eyes, a look I've never seen before. I studied him for a few minutes. My thoughts broken my the cries of my own son.
"I'd give him to you but..." Chris said, appearing at the door.
"I'm sorry."
"It's all right." He replied. "We're bonding."
"I'll take him." Matt said.
He took Matt and went outside. Chris walked over to the empty bed next to mine and sat on it. He looked at all the machines and IVs I was hooked up to.
"I don't understand the medical field." He said. "And I don't intended to."
"It's not all that hard." I replied. I couldn't face him to answer him.
"You look miserable." Jay spoke up. "It's hard for me to watch someone so active be forced to lay like this."
"It's hard for me to do it." I replied. "But, I'll do anything to heal fast."
"Take your time." Jeff told me. "I told you, I don't want you coming back too early and screwing your back up for good."
"I'll know when I'm ready." I said. "I'll feel it."
Jay put his hands on my feet, and for a few minutes I didn't even notice they were there. The mood in the room was dismal. Only a few were in the room with me. Some were in the waiting room, others talking to doctors, and others would be there tomorrow. I heard highheels clanking on the floor, and I knew Steph would be in soon.
"Destiny!" She cried, Hunter dragging behind her.
"Hey, hun." I said.
"I can't believe this happened. Are you OK? Is everything all right?"
"Everything's good, considering what just happened." I answered. "I'm out for two months."
"Oh, my God, that's gross!" She said pointing to my back.
"It's not as bad as it looks." I said. She gave me a look.
"Two months? That's not bad. I thought it would be worse." She replied.
"I saw Crash." Hunter spoke up. "He feels so bad."
"He didn't know." I said.
"Looks like those IVs are working." He said with a smile. I smiled back.
"They are. They're doing their job." He laughed to himself.
"Saw Matt outside with lil' Matt." He brought up. "Seems shaken up. How are you handling it Jeff?"
"I'm doing OK." Jeff answered. "I don't want her rushing it. We all know she's got a habit of that."
"That she does." Hunter replied, joining Chris on the bed.
"Adam, don't touch that." I heard Jay say from behind me.
"What?" Adam asked.
"I don't trust you around things that send electric shocks."
"I won't do anything." Adam said.
Dwayne walked in as Adam held the paddles up. Dwayne jumped back. "Yo! Adam, cool it." He said.
"I'm not going to hurt anyone!" Adam said.
"For our sake, just put them down." Dwayne told him, taking the paddles away. "Destiny." He came over to me. "How are you feeling?"
"All right." I answered.
He looked at the IVs. "Yeah, by the looks of things, I'd say you're feeling all right. I heard about it all. Two months. Got lucky."
"I guess." I said. "I'm going to die just laying here."
"Could be worse." He said.
"He's right." Adam replied, sounding serious.
My doctor came in to take a look. Everything seemed fine. He told everyone to leave, that I needed to rest and to come back tomorrow. They did have the day off tomorrow. Jeff kissed my hand before he left.
Now, I was alone. Alone in a hospital bed nonetheless. I knew I'd drive myself crazy inside here. No one to talk to, nothing to do. I couldn't move. I started thinking about long term effects. What if something goes wrong in these two months. What if I can never wrestle again?
If I couldn't wrestle, I don't know what I'd do. It held any last bit of sanity for me. As odd as that sounds, but it's true. It's true, it's damn true. Stole that one from Angle...anyway...sleep was something I wanted to come to me, but had a hard time getting there. My mind started to fill with negative thoughts.
Soon I heard someone in my ear. "Time to get up." I looked up and saw a nurse standing by me. I looked at her.
"Get up?" I asked.
"Yes, it's noon. Time for therapy."
"Leave me alone." I said all groggy.
"No can do." She said.
She moved the IVs to a stand on a wheelchair. She helped me sit up. I scrunched my eyes in pain. Getting into the wheelchair was hard as hell. Day one: still can't move.
"That's about as much therapy I can take. How about we get me back into the bed." I said.
"Cute." She said.
She wheeled me into the psychical therapy room. I saw the hot tub and said, "when do I get to use that?"
"Don't worry, you will." She answered. "Those have to get closed."
I was wheeled into a room. A doctor was waiting for me. He held a clipboard and was looking at in when I came into the room. When I got there, he put it down and put his hands in his lap.
"Destiny." He said. "I'm Dr. Carter and I want to tell you what you're going to do in here. You're very weak in your legs, as you already know. We're going to build strength in your legs and lower back. Get you walking and building that strength back. No rushing it."
"Whatever you think is best, doc." I said. I started getting up.
"No, no, we have that." He said.
He took one of my arms and the nurse took the other and they stood me up. I yelped a little, but was fine. Then, he placed my hands on a walker and told me to just stand there. Easier said then done I should say. My knees shook trying to hold my weight up.
"Can I sit down now?" I asked.
"Yes." The doctor answered. He and the nurse helped me back down. "OK, now I'm going to life your leg up, tell me when it hurts." He lifted my leg up a little.
"There." I said.
"OK, can you hold it there?" I nodded. He let go and I held it for a few seconds. "Now, with the other leg." I did the same.
"Is that good or bad?" I asked.
"Fine. I'm just trying to see how strong you're legs are."
"Oh."
I didn't know if I was fine. I didn't lift them that high, and didn't hold that long. But, Dr. Carter kept telling me everything I was doing was fine, fine. Everything didn't seem fine to me.
It was a week before I could walk. Nurse Reily held one hand, and Dr. Carter held my other. Felt very weird to walk again. It was very painful. My legs weren't used to walking.
I was now in my bed. The sweat pants I wore in therapy were on the floor. The covers were low enough to expose the wounds, but just high enough to cover everything. My gown was open, and my sides were showing just a little. But, I was in pain and didn't care. No one had given me meds and I was shaking in pain.
"Woah." Adam said under his breath as he came into the room. He eyed me up and down. Jay smiled a little. He didn't want anyone to see him.
"Des?" Jeff asked. He put his hands on my leg. It took me a few seconds to realize they were there. When I felt his cold hands I blinked a few times and saw everyone there. "How are you feeling?" Jeff reappeared by my face.
"OK, I guess." I answered. I tried to move a little.
"Don't." Jeff told me.
"Jeff, she's shaking." Chris whispered to him. Jeff nodded.
"I was walking today." I said. "Well, I tried to." Dr. Carter came in.
"I see Nurse Reily was here." He said picking the sweat pants up.
"I was hot." I told him.
"Did anyone give you some morphine?" I shook my head.
He left and came back with some. He put it in my IV bag. "This should help."
"Thank you."
Jeff pulled the doctor aside. "Doc, it's been a week. Shouldn't she at least look better?"
"She should." He answered. "Her recovery's behind what we're thinking it will be. She may need to stay in here a month longer if she doesn't come around."
It took awhile for the drugs to kick in. I didn't want anyone to be in my room. I just wanted to lay there. I did notice the worried faces of everyone there.
"Destiny?" Adam asked. "Destiny." I blinked a few times again and saw his face a few inches from mine.
"Adam, back off." I told him. He backed away.
"You really don't look so good." He said.
"Yeah, well if you were me you wouldn't feel so good either."
"No, I mean you look horrible." He told me. I shot him a nasty look.
"Adam, piss off." Jay told him, pushing him away.
"I guess things aren't going in my favor." I said. I sighed.
Matt was in the corner of the room, our son in his hands. He looked at me, straight at me. I could feel his stares burning through me. He made me shudder involuntary.
"You just need to take it one day at a time." Jeff told me. "Don't rush anything."
"I want to get better."
"Yes, but if you rush you'll get worse." He told me. He took my hand. I closed my eyes. I heard Jeff sigh, and that was it. When I opened them again, no one was there. I was kind of happy of that, since I looked like something out of a horror movie. Dr. Carter was checking up on me.
"Feeling any better?" He asked.
"Truthfully? No." I answered.
He shook his head and left. When he came back, he said I was going for an X-ray to see if anything else was wrong. He wouldn't tell me until we got back to my room if anything was wrong. My stomach had that sinking feeling. And, I knew something wasn't right.
"Be honest." I said. "Something is seriously wrong and it's going to coast me my wrestling career and my ability to walk."
"No, that's not the case." He told me. "A disk has split in half. We have to go in and remove the disk. One half of that disk is pressing on some nerves. That's the reason you can't feel much and can't walk."
"The reason I still feel like shit."
"Exactly." He said. "I'm going to book an OR. You'll be up in two hours. Do you want me to call anyone?"
I thought for a minute and said, "no, that's all right."
"OK then."
A team of nurses and stuff got me to pre-op. I wasn't sure what was going to happen with the open slits on the side of my spine. The cuts they would make for this surgery would be closed.
"Before I go under, can I ask you something?" I looked over at Dr. Carter.
"Anything." He answered.
"Well, what's this surgery going to do to my career?"
"Don't worry. When this disk comes out, everything is going to feel so much better. You'll be able to wrestle again."
I smiled. Then the drugs took me under.
