*the stage is set.* B-chan comes to the middle of the ring looking all spiffy in her announcers outfit.

"Hiiiiiiiii minna-saaaaaaan!!!! This is the fight of all fights! You want to know about twisted brother love? You want to know about 2 girls fighting over the same guy? It's Kozue versus Nanami!!!!!! Who are they fighting over? Wouldn't you like to know?"

*a timely sunset occurs and the shot goes to a rose-patterned wall*

D-Ko: Kashira Kashi- hey where are my girls at? Come on I can't be the only one!
*H-Ko appears*
H-Ko: You called?
D-Ko: Are you new? You must be, I haven't seen you before.
H-Ko: Why does everyone think I'm new? It's always "haven't seen you before" or "don't listen to her, she hasn't been here long enough"! Well I've had it! I've been doing high quality shadow play since the days of Professor Nemuro! I'm sick of being treated like the new girl!"

Mikage and Ranma simultaneously: Fukaku, motto fukaku.

D-Ko: Alright chill. I didn't even get a part in the manga, series or movie so I feel your pain.
H-Ko: Really?
D-Ko: Yeah. So back to the play?
H-Ko: Oh yeah.
*simultaneously*: Kashira, kashira gozochi kashira?
D-Ko: Did you know, did you know?
H-Ko: A pirate seaches for treasure, buried in the sand.
D-Ko: But what happens when the pirate becomes the treasure?
H-Ko: We get whatevers in the sand!!! Buahahahaha
D-Ko: *thwap* You screwed it up!
H-Ko: did not!
D-Ko: You so did, and now it sounds lame.
H-Ko: No it was brilliant.
*a catfight ensues*

*the camera pans back to the arena*

*B-Chan clears her throat* Well uh, now that we've completely confused you, let's bring out our girls . . . in the yellow corner, the reigning Queen of Campus the blond bitch and she of the dissolving dresses iiiiiiiiiiiiiit's Nanami!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Nanami emerges in cute yellow boxers and matching sports tank*

"I am not a bitch! And you know I had nothing to do with that dissolving dress!"

*B-Chan blinks* And in the blue corner, the Mistress of all that is good and horny, that green-eyed piano-playing vixen give it up for Kooooooooooozue!

*Kozue appears in a blue silk robe and turns her back and opens it to the audience*
*B-Chan mumbles* she didn't just flash the audience . . .

*Nanami interjects* "Bitch get some clothes on!"

"Watch out who you're calling a bitch, slut!" But Kozue knows she can't fight in the nude (somewhere, Akio is heard, "dammit!", and elsewhere "Janet") so she disappears for a moment to change. She reappears in a cute indigo outfit that is remarkable similiar in style to Nanami's.

*B-Chan is now in the center of the arena and motions for the two girls to come to the center as well*

"Ladies you know the rules, anything goes. You also know the stakes . . ."

*an oversized bird cage is lowered over the arena. Miki is sitting calmly in the middle*

*various Happy Fangirl Squeaks are heard and somewhere you hear "DARLING!"*

"Alright ladies I want a nasty, bitchy, Jerry Springer style fight. LET'S GET IT ON!"