Behind Closed Doors
Before you read this, just remember that I ramble a lot when I'm bored. This is what I think Chandler and Monica would be thinking just before Chandler came back in to say he was on London time. Even if you hate it, please R+R.
She threw me out. She said it meant a lot to her, but she didn't want it to go any further. I said I agreed with her. Why? I don't know. Maybe I didn't want to look stupid in front of the only girl I've ever loved.
She's my best friend. She's closer to me than Ross or Joey. She knows everything about me – even stuff I've forgotten. And I just let her go. Let go what was the best night of my life. What could be the best relationship of me life. You only need one successful relationship. London was wonderful, I never dreamed I could be so lucky. We just clicked. But she said it was just that night. Those seven wonderful times.
But it isn't. I can't let her go. I've got to go back in. I'll tell her I want juice or something. I'll say what I feel. I want to know what she feels.
* * *
I can't believe I just did that to him. How could I have been so stupid? I didn't just want one night. I want it for the rest of our lives. Till we're old and grey. And it's my entire fault. I've thrown away the only good thing in my life right now. My friendship with Chandler – gone. We can't go back to how we were – not now.
Should I go and see him? How can I? I'm Monica. Monica Geller, competitive, always has to win. Why am I like that? Why did I say all that? I was scared, that's why. Scared he wouldn't feel the same way as I do. Scared what the others would say. Scared that Phoebe knew.
My hand's on the doorknob. If I don't go after him… I can't, though! But I'll regret it if I don't. I'll wait a few minutes, see how I feel then.
* * *
I'm going in. I have to. I don't know how long I've been out here. It's probably only minutes, but it feels like days. I'm deciding my whole future in a few seconds.
I can hear her moving. She sounds sad – is she crying? I can't bear to hear her like that! I've got to go and see her. I'm going in, and nothing can ever stop me.
* * *
The knob's turning. Don't get your hopes up, Monica. It's probably Phoebe. But… if it isn't! What if he's coming back? What if he says I was wrong? And I don't mind being wrong, not this once. I hope it's him.
Wow, I never noticed how long the door takes to open. Yes, yes, yes! It's him!
* * *
I know I've made the right decision. She's waiting for me. She's moving towards me. I say the first words that come to mind.
"I'm still on London time, does that count?"
Eight words. So small, and yet so big. When she answers, I'll know my future in a second.
* * *
I can't believe he wants me again. I run towards him, I don't care I was wrong. He knows what I'm going to say. I hardly need to say it. But I will, just to make it official.
"Oh, that counts!"
I can hardly speak; I'm rushing over myself to get to him. To hold him, to be back where I belong, even though I've only ever been there once before.
And now we're together, he's holding me, kissing me, and we'll be perfect, no matter what comes along. Even if Ross gets angry, we'll cope, because we belong together. Chandler and Monica.
