Author: RockyD
E-mail: dollen@frontiernet.net
Category: A/X, B/X and delusional B/S
Rating: PG-14 (nothing worse than the show)
Summary: A couple of weeks after "Almost Happy". Nothing special has
happened. Xander goes out patrolling with Buffy. The night doesn't end as expected.
Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, they belong to Joss
Whedon and Co. The only thing I lay claim to is the excruciating torture I put
them through... and I'm sure they love me for it.
Author's Note: When plot bunnies attack. Watching the rerun of "Intervention",
and got a twisted little idea about how to use something. Don't want to give
too much away. Hopefully this'll tide over the 3 or 4 fans I have that are waiting
on pins and needles for the rest of Find Your Way Home.
Author's Note #2: For reference, the series title The episode title is a song
by No Doubt. *salute* That is all.
Feedback: YES! I desperately need it, like an addiction. I haven't had
it in ages. It would be appreciated.
*FADE TO: The Magic Box, they're all gathered around the research table.*
They all perked up, looking at her intently. Giles rushed over, "What is
it, Dawn? Something important?" Dawn nodded emphatically, "Is it some
sort of prophecy?"
Dawn simply frowned, "Reckon is an actual word." She gestured towards
the word Xander had just spelled out on the Scrabble board. Dawn cried, "I
thought it was just slang... but it's here in the dictionary."
Xander just grinned, "Never challenge a Xander, Dawnie. It's like a vampire
trying to get the best of the Buffster. Just not gonna come out to your advantage."
They both sobered at Giles' unamused glare. Once he turned around, they shared
a giggle. Xander picked up a few letters off the table and declared, "Your
turn, Will." He saw her face light up, "And remember, no -ologies."
Willow stuck her tongue out at him and she started putting down her next word.
As she did, Buffy came in the front door. She quietly pulled off her jacket,
revealing a solid maroon shirt and a name tag reading 'Buffy'. She hung the
jacket on the back of one of the chairs, and let out a frustrated sigh, "Xander,
how do you do it? Jobs suck."
He tried not let his resentment of her comment get to him as he replied cooly,
"A regimin consisting of lots of breaks and a little bit of daydreaming."
He stood up and put a consoling arm around her, "Just think about every
one of those burgers you flip as a vampire waiting to be slayed. Slap those
suckers down, let 'em hiss until their blue in the face, and then slide that
spatula right under their heart and plop them on a bun. Y'see? The similarities
are endless."
Buffy looked at him like he was changing colors, "Have I ever told you
how much I fear you?"
"Surprisingly a common response for me from the ladies." Xander said,
a bit ruefully.
Giles approached from the back room and spotted Buffy, "Ahh, Buffy, you're
here." He walked up to her, carrying a checklist, and noticed her attire,
"I don't wish to be a bother to you since I see you worked tonight... but
I'd like you to go out and patrol tonight. There have been a few suspicious
deaths that I'd like you to check out."
Buffy nearly gave him a death glare. Before she could, Xander jumped up and
averted disaster, "That should be fine, G-Man... Buff and I can go out
and patrol, and report to you in the morning. Sound like a plausible?"
Giles reluctantly nodded, before handing them a small list of locations. He
returned to looking at his checklist again. Buffy noticed and pressed him about
it, "Is there something wrong, Giles?"
He was surprised. They rarely bothered to pick up on his moods, let alone call
it to attention. He replied, "Oh? Yes... well, no. I've had the strangest
feeling that something is missing from the storeroom. But I've gone over the
inventory twice and have come up with nothing. I suppose it's just a side effect
of me getting old."
Xander patted him on the back, "Hey, hey, Giles. You're not old. You might
not be a hip 'young man/woman' like the rest of us, but that in no way makes
you old. Just a bit more experienced in the 'wisdom' department." Xander
dropped his hand and looked around, "Why do I suddenly sound like an after
school special?"
Buffy giggled and backed him up, "Probably because you're right."
Xander smiled, "Hey, score one for the good guys." He packed up his
things into his satchel bag and prepared to leave. "Just gotta make a call
to An and I'll be on the road." He pulled his cell phone out of his satchel
and dialed his home phone number, walking over to where the talk would be more
private.
Buffy watched him talk to his girlfriend with a strange sense of jealousy. It
had hit her a few weeks back as well. She just chalked it up to missing that
kind of relationship herself. That had to be it.
"Yeah, An, that's all it is. Routine patrol. I'll be home before ten, I
promise. Just stay there and I'll come running home to you. Yeah, I love you
too. See ya later." Xander snapped the mouthpiece of his cell phone closed
and smiled, "Handiest things I've ever seen. Glad I bought one."
He put the phone back in his satchel and motioned for Buffy to take the lead.
He still performed his gentlemanly duties by opening the door for her, but the
Slayer led the way.
With clockwork efficiency, Buffy delivered the killing blow to the newborn vampire,
and his dust floated all over Xander. Her forward motion carried her into him,
and they both crashed to the ground. The stolen glance lasted a mere moment,
but left them both uncomfortable.
Xander coughed up some dust and commented jokingly, "Well, I think the
lesson learned here is never use the crane stance to hold off a vampire."
He dusted himself off.
Buffy nodded, trying not to crack a smile at his tension breaker, "He seemed
really cranky."
Xander let a small laugh escape, "Well, y'think... I mean, the whole death
thing, waking up under a bunch of dirt... oh, and a couple of people out trying
to kill him again. That's enough to make even Mary Sunshine just a wee bit cranky."
Buffy finally laughed, and started getting up. Xander lept to his feet in order
to provide her a hand to lean on. She smiled at the gesture and accepted it.
They both finished dusting off and started heading towards the next marked grave.
They were quiet for the next few minutes, before Buffy spoke up, "You didn't
have to come out patrolling with me, Xander. I could have done it by myself."
Xander stopped and glared at her, "We have this talk just about every night
I patrol with you, don't we? I don't do it because I have to or don't have to,
Buff. I do it because I want to. You were pretty frazzled tonight, and I just
wanted to help make it easier on you."
Buffy nodded, accepting but not really understanding just why he helped, and
continued, "You've got Anya to go home to. Aren't you scared you'll get
hurt and she'll be left all by herself?"
Xander tried to focus on anything but her eyes. He stared straight at the portion
of her name tag that was sticking out from her jacket as he replied, "Sure
I am, Buff. So much sometimes that my knees knock together, but there's a bigger
issue at work. We're fighting a big battle. Good vs. Evil, and all. I just want
to make a difference. If we can save one more life, or stake one more vamp every
night because I come along, then it makes it worthwhile."
Buffy had the faintest smile on her face, not that Xander could see, "That's
really noble, Xander." It was her turn to avert her eyes, "I can't
say I mind having you around. You're not as much of a punching bag as you used
to be, and your penchant for breaking the tension really comes in handy. I just
think, and Anya would agree with me I'm sure, that you're worth much more to
the world alive than dead. And thats a risk you take here every night."
Xander nodded, "And it's a risk I'll take. Over and over. Because we all
want you to be the longest living slayer ever. We want you to see every birthday
you'll ever want to. And even the one's you don't, because we'll be there to
hold you up." He pulled her into a quick hug, "You're worth much more
to the world alive than dead, too."
Buffy smiled, returning the one that came to Xander's face as he spoke, and
pulled him back into the hug, tightly. When not in her field of vision, Xander's
smile grew ten times wider. His mind said to him, 'Well worth the wait and the
absence of the puffy suit.'
He patted Buffy's back a few times, "Am I still your Puffy Xander?"
Her laugh was childish and full of amusement, "Always. Though, kinda not
puffy now." She didn't mind that at all, though.
A rustling in the bushes startled them. They looked around, weapons at the ready,
to find no one. Buffy pushed her Slayer senses to their limit and found nothing.
They exchanged a look and shrugged at the same time.
Xander pulled the list out of his pocket and looked up the next location. After
pointing in one direction, Buffy led the way and they quietly exited the cemetary.
They stopped outside his door, and exchanged an awkward moment, "Tonight
was, surprisingly fun. Thanks for not bullying me into coming home right away,
Buff."
She nodded, "It was fun. I'm glad I didn't bully you either, without you
I..." Something caught her eye, "Do you usually leave your door ajar?"
He looked at it too, seeing it slightly open. He made a contemplative noise,
then answered, "No, I guess An must have just forgotten to close it all
the way. Maybe I should go talk to her."
"I'll come with you." Buffy said, as she reached into her pocket to
grasp a stake. Her spidey-sense was tingling, but she didn't want to jump to
conclusions.
Xander pushed the door open gently, letting it swing open on its own. The sight
that lay before him brought his vocabulary down to three little words, spoken
so softly they were almost inaudible, "Oh my god..."
Moments later, he was bounding into the room, without fear for himself, to rush
towards where Anya lay. Buffy followed, more cautiously, keeping her eyes open.
Xander could barely stomach the state Anya was in. She was bruised, beaten,
and in some places broken. One of them was the most important. Her neck was
bent at an indecent angle, obviously the finishing touch. Xander just sat there
holding her delicately in his arms. He was near the point of sobbing, but from
what Buffy could see he was suppressing it. She didn't understand why, even
the Slayer would be crying at that point. She almost was, but was too shocked
by the sight to let it all sink in.
Slipping into Slayer mode, Buffy patrolled around the apartment, looking for
signs of whatever might have done this. The only thing out of the ordinary was
the bent latch on the balcony door, but not broken glass anywhere nearby. So
far she couldn't make any sense of it.
That's when she heard the sobbing. She turned to see Xander, sitting back on
his haunches, slowly crying a river of tears. His hold on Anya had slipped,
and she had returned to her spot on the floor where she had been found.
She wanted desperately to go over and comfort him in some way or another. She
just didn't know how. She'd shut down after her mother died, and no one could
touch her where she'd gone. It could be the same for Xander, she just didn't
know.
The thought then occured to her to call someone. She returned to the hallway
and dug Xander's cell phone out of his satchel. She didn't know who to call...
Giles, or 911? A quick glance told her that Anya was not likely to be alive
after what she'd been dealt, so she dialed the number of Giles place.
"Uh, hello?"
"Giles, it's me."
"Buffy, is... is something amiss?"
"Y-yeah, Giles... I need you to come over to Xander's apartment right now...
get the others, I can't explain this over the phone." She hung up abruptly
and dropped the phone into the satchel. She walked over to Xander and did the
only thing she could think to. She grabbed him from behind in a hug and didn't
let go as he continued to sob loudly.
After it was over, he stood over by himself, leaning against a tree. He watched
a sparse collection of people visiting the graves of their loved ones. He had
prayed he'd never have to do something like that, for a long, long time.
He didn't hear the footsteps coming up behind him, but he felt the presence,
and responded quietly, "Buffy."
"How did..."
"You get a sense about things after so long, Buffy. I just wish I'd had
it that night."
"Xander, it isn't your fault!"
His tone got angrier, "It isn't? If I had been home, or if she'd been with
me... I wouldn't be doing this goddamned ritual all over again. I can't honestly
see a way that this *isn't* my fault."
Buffy responded to his tone in kind, she grabbed his arm, albeit lightly, "You
were there, Xander. Whatever did that to her, it would have gotten you too.
We'd be burying the both of you today instead. I'm not saying you wouldn't have
tried, because I do know you better than that. This thing was just too much."
He sighed, "I don't want to argue with you, Buffy. Not *today* and not
over this. I just wish there wasn't so much more more I could have done."
She looped her arm through his and gave it a light squeeze, "Welcome to
the reality I face too, Xander. I feel horrible for ever death I'm not able
to prevent. It's a consquence of the life we lead, and it's something we just
have to learn to live with. I know you loved, Anya. Instead of moping and retreating
because of her *death*, why don't you try to live your *life* the way she would
want you too."
"I really wish it were that easy, Buffy. I know you're right, because it's
what we all preached to you when we lost Joyce... it's just gonna take time,
y'know?" He gave her a weak, empty smile in hopes of satisfying her for
the moment.
"And we'll be here for you, Xand." She returned the smile genuinely.
She pulled him into a hug, which he returned.
"I know, Buff, I know." He looked over her shoulder, where the were
starting to throw the dirt back over Anya's grave. Life wouldn't be the same
after this.
