Untitled Document

"Nothing As It Seems"
Episode: #2 - "End It On This"


Author: RockyD
E-mail: dollen@frontiernet.net
Category: A/X, B/X and delusional B/S
Rating: PG-14 (nothing worse than the show)
Summary: A couple of weeks after "Almost Happy". Nothing special has happened. Xander goes out patrolling with Buffy. The night doesn't end as expected.
Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, they belong to Joss
Whedon and Co. The only thing I lay claim to is the excruciating torture I put them through... and I'm sure they love me for it.
Author's Note: When plot bunnies attack. Watching the rerun of "Intervention", and got a twisted little idea about how to use something. Don't want to give too much away. Hopefully this'll tide over the 3 or 4 fans I have that are waiting on pins and needles for the rest of Find Your Way Home.
Author's Note #2: For reference, the series title The episode title is a song by No Doubt. *salute* That is all.
Feedback: YES! I desperately need it, like an addiction. I haven't had it in ages. It would be appreciated.


*FADE TO: The Magic Box, they're all gathered around the research table.*

Dawn had her nose buried in a thick, worn book, "Oh my god, I can't believe this."

They all perked up, looking at her intently. Giles rushed over, "What is it, Dawn? Something important?" Dawn nodded emphatically, "Is it some sort of prophecy?"

Dawn simply frowned, "Reckon is an actual word." She gestured towards the word Xander had just spelled out on the Scrabble board. Dawn cried, "I thought it was just slang... but it's here in the dictionary."

Xander just grinned, "Never challenge a Xander, Dawnie. It's like a vampire trying to get the best of the Buffster. Just not gonna come out to your advantage."

They both sobered at Giles' unamused glare. Once he turned around, they shared a giggle. Xander picked up a few letters off the table and declared, "Your turn, Will." He saw her face light up, "And remember, no -ologies."

Willow stuck her tongue out at him and she started putting down her next word.

As she did, Buffy came in the front door. She quietly pulled off her jacket, revealing a solid maroon shirt and a name tag reading 'Buffy'. She hung the jacket on the back of one of the chairs, and let out a frustrated sigh, "Xander, how do you do it? Jobs suck."

He tried not let his resentment of her comment get to him as he replied cooly, "A regimin consisting of lots of breaks and a little bit of daydreaming." He stood up and put a consoling arm around her, "Just think about every one of those burgers you flip as a vampire waiting to be slayed. Slap those suckers down, let 'em hiss until their blue in the face, and then slide that spatula right under their heart and plop them on a bun. Y'see? The similarities are endless."

Buffy looked at him like he was changing colors, "Have I ever told you how much I fear you?"

"Surprisingly a common response for me from the ladies." Xander said, a bit ruefully.

Giles approached from the back room and spotted Buffy, "Ahh, Buffy, you're here." He walked up to her, carrying a checklist, and noticed her attire, "I don't wish to be a bother to you since I see you worked tonight... but I'd like you to go out and patrol tonight. There have been a few suspicious deaths that I'd like you to check out."

Buffy nearly gave him a death glare. Before she could, Xander jumped up and averted disaster, "That should be fine, G-Man... Buff and I can go out and patrol, and report to you in the morning. Sound like a plausible?"

Giles reluctantly nodded, before handing them a small list of locations. He returned to looking at his checklist again. Buffy noticed and pressed him about it, "Is there something wrong, Giles?"

He was surprised. They rarely bothered to pick up on his moods, let alone call it to attention. He replied, "Oh? Yes... well, no. I've had the strangest feeling that something is missing from the storeroom. But I've gone over the inventory twice and have come up with nothing. I suppose it's just a side effect of me getting old."

Xander patted him on the back, "Hey, hey, Giles. You're not old. You might not be a hip 'young man/woman' like the rest of us, but that in no way makes you old. Just a bit more experienced in the 'wisdom' department." Xander dropped his hand and looked around, "Why do I suddenly sound like an after school special?"

Buffy giggled and backed him up, "Probably because you're right."

Xander smiled, "Hey, score one for the good guys." He packed up his things into his satchel bag and prepared to leave. "Just gotta make a call to An and I'll be on the road." He pulled his cell phone out of his satchel and dialed his home phone number, walking over to where the talk would be more private.

Buffy watched him talk to his girlfriend with a strange sense of jealousy. It had hit her a few weeks back as well. She just chalked it up to missing that kind of relationship herself. That had to be it.

"Yeah, An, that's all it is. Routine patrol. I'll be home before ten, I promise. Just stay there and I'll come running home to you. Yeah, I love you too. See ya later." Xander snapped the mouthpiece of his cell phone closed and smiled, "Handiest things I've ever seen. Glad I bought one."

He put the phone back in his satchel and motioned for Buffy to take the lead. He still performed his gentlemanly duties by opening the door for her, but the Slayer led the way.

*CUT TO: Patrol. Random graveyard.*

Xander held a vampires arms behind its back, pushing his knee between the two to give himself a little distance from any flying pieces of wood Buffy might throw his way. No need to get himself staked on a routine patrol.

With clockwork efficiency, Buffy delivered the killing blow to the newborn vampire, and his dust floated all over Xander. Her forward motion carried her into him, and they both crashed to the ground. The stolen glance lasted a mere moment, but left them both uncomfortable.

Xander coughed up some dust and commented jokingly, "Well, I think the lesson learned here is never use the crane stance to hold off a vampire." He dusted himself off.

Buffy nodded, trying not to crack a smile at his tension breaker, "He seemed really cranky."

Xander let a small laugh escape, "Well, y'think... I mean, the whole death thing, waking up under a bunch of dirt... oh, and a couple of people out trying to kill him again. That's enough to make even Mary Sunshine just a wee bit cranky."

Buffy finally laughed, and started getting up. Xander lept to his feet in order to provide her a hand to lean on. She smiled at the gesture and accepted it. They both finished dusting off and started heading towards the next marked grave.

They were quiet for the next few minutes, before Buffy spoke up, "You didn't have to come out patrolling with me, Xander. I could have done it by myself."
Xander stopped and glared at her, "We have this talk just about every night I patrol with you, don't we? I don't do it because I have to or don't have to, Buff. I do it because I want to. You were pretty frazzled tonight, and I just wanted to help make it easier on you."

Buffy nodded, accepting but not really understanding just why he helped, and continued, "You've got Anya to go home to. Aren't you scared you'll get hurt and she'll be left all by herself?"

Xander tried to focus on anything but her eyes. He stared straight at the portion of her name tag that was sticking out from her jacket as he replied, "Sure I am, Buff. So much sometimes that my knees knock together, but there's a bigger issue at work. We're fighting a big battle. Good vs. Evil, and all. I just want to make a difference. If we can save one more life, or stake one more vamp every night because I come along, then it makes it worthwhile."

Buffy had the faintest smile on her face, not that Xander could see, "That's really noble, Xander." It was her turn to avert her eyes, "I can't say I mind having you around. You're not as much of a punching bag as you used to be, and your penchant for breaking the tension really comes in handy. I just think, and Anya would agree with me I'm sure, that you're worth much more to the world alive than dead. And thats a risk you take here every night."

Xander nodded, "And it's a risk I'll take. Over and over. Because we all want you to be the longest living slayer ever. We want you to see every birthday you'll ever want to. And even the one's you don't, because we'll be there to hold you up." He pulled her into a quick hug, "You're worth much more to the world alive than dead, too."

Buffy smiled, returning the one that came to Xander's face as he spoke, and pulled him back into the hug, tightly. When not in her field of vision, Xander's smile grew ten times wider. His mind said to him, 'Well worth the wait and the absence of the puffy suit.'

He patted Buffy's back a few times, "Am I still your Puffy Xander?"

Her laugh was childish and full of amusement, "Always. Though, kinda not puffy now." She didn't mind that at all, though.

A rustling in the bushes startled them. They looked around, weapons at the ready, to find no one. Buffy pushed her Slayer senses to their limit and found nothing. They exchanged a look and shrugged at the same time.

Xander pulled the list out of his pocket and looked up the next location. After pointing in one direction, Buffy led the way and they quietly exited the cemetary.

*CUT TO: The hallway outside Xander's apartment. Buffy and Xander are walking slowly down it, in the middle of chitchat.*

"So then Spike said... 'Lay off me Wheatabix, ya welt!'" Xander imitated Spike's accent near perfectly, which earned another bright smile and laugh from Buffy.

They stopped outside his door, and exchanged an awkward moment, "Tonight was, surprisingly fun. Thanks for not bullying me into coming home right away, Buff."
She nodded, "It was fun. I'm glad I didn't bully you either, without you I..." Something caught her eye, "Do you usually leave your door ajar?"

He looked at it too, seeing it slightly open. He made a contemplative noise, then answered, "No, I guess An must have just forgotten to close it all the way. Maybe I should go talk to her."

"I'll come with you." Buffy said, as she reached into her pocket to grasp a stake. Her spidey-sense was tingling, but she didn't want to jump to conclusions.

Xander pushed the door open gently, letting it swing open on its own. The sight that lay before him brought his vocabulary down to three little words, spoken so softly they were almost inaudible, "Oh my god..."

Moments later, he was bounding into the room, without fear for himself, to rush towards where Anya lay. Buffy followed, more cautiously, keeping her eyes open.
Xander could barely stomach the state Anya was in. She was bruised, beaten, and in some places broken. One of them was the most important. Her neck was bent at an indecent angle, obviously the finishing touch. Xander just sat there holding her delicately in his arms. He was near the point of sobbing, but from what Buffy could see he was suppressing it. She didn't understand why, even the Slayer would be crying at that point. She almost was, but was too shocked by the sight to let it all sink in.

Slipping into Slayer mode, Buffy patrolled around the apartment, looking for signs of whatever might have done this. The only thing out of the ordinary was the bent latch on the balcony door, but not broken glass anywhere nearby. So far she couldn't make any sense of it.

That's when she heard the sobbing. She turned to see Xander, sitting back on his haunches, slowly crying a river of tears. His hold on Anya had slipped, and she had returned to her spot on the floor where she had been found.

She wanted desperately to go over and comfort him in some way or another. She just didn't know how. She'd shut down after her mother died, and no one could touch her where she'd gone. It could be the same for Xander, she just didn't know.

The thought then occured to her to call someone. She returned to the hallway and dug Xander's cell phone out of his satchel. She didn't know who to call... Giles, or 911? A quick glance told her that Anya was not likely to be alive after what she'd been dealt, so she dialed the number of Giles place.

"Uh, hello?"

"Giles, it's me."

"Buffy, is... is something amiss?"

"Y-yeah, Giles... I need you to come over to Xander's apartment right now... get the others, I can't explain this over the phone." She hung up abruptly and dropped the phone into the satchel. She walked over to Xander and did the only thing she could think to. She grabbed him from behind in a hug and didn't let go as he continued to sob loudly.

*CUT TO: An anonymous graveyard, daytime. The gang stands around in a scene similar to that of Joyce's funeral, only with much fewer people.*

The ceremony had been brief and ordinary. Her gravestone was simplistic but effective. Xander couldn't afford anything more.

After it was over, he stood over by himself, leaning against a tree. He watched a sparse collection of people visiting the graves of their loved ones. He had prayed he'd never have to do something like that, for a long, long time.

He didn't hear the footsteps coming up behind him, but he felt the presence, and responded quietly, "Buffy."

"How did..."

"You get a sense about things after so long, Buffy. I just wish I'd had it that night."

"Xander, it isn't your fault!"

His tone got angrier, "It isn't? If I had been home, or if she'd been with me... I wouldn't be doing this goddamned ritual all over again. I can't honestly see a way that this *isn't* my fault."

Buffy responded to his tone in kind, she grabbed his arm, albeit lightly, "You were there, Xander. Whatever did that to her, it would have gotten you too. We'd be burying the both of you today instead. I'm not saying you wouldn't have tried, because I do know you better than that. This thing was just too much."

He sighed, "I don't want to argue with you, Buffy. Not *today* and not over this. I just wish there wasn't so much more more I could have done."

She looped her arm through his and gave it a light squeeze, "Welcome to the reality I face too, Xander. I feel horrible for ever death I'm not able to prevent. It's a consquence of the life we lead, and it's something we just have to learn to live with. I know you loved, Anya. Instead of moping and retreating because of her *death*, why don't you try to live your *life* the way she would want you too."

"I really wish it were that easy, Buffy. I know you're right, because it's what we all preached to you when we lost Joyce... it's just gonna take time, y'know?" He gave her a weak, empty smile in hopes of satisfying her for the moment.

"And we'll be here for you, Xand." She returned the smile genuinely. She pulled him into a hug, which he returned.

"I know, Buff, I know." He looked over her shoulder, where the were starting to throw the dirt back over Anya's grave. Life wouldn't be the same after this.