CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 2!!!!!!!!

"Trunks! I've been looking all over for you! I need your help!"

"You just that, you idiot."

"I know but I repeat myself sometimes because people don't listen the first time."

"What?" Trunks had been watching a butterfly.

"Nevermind." Trunks begins to walk away. "Wait! I still need your help!"

"Oh right. Well make it quick because if I don't get laid soon, my nuts are going to explode."

Making a slightly disgusted face, "I am the Supreme Ki, you know."

"I'm a 20 year old half-Saiyan who hasn't had sex in 2 hours, you know."

"O…kay. Well anyway, I came here because there's a terrible force that seems to be terrorizing earth."

"Again?! What the hell is wrong with this planet!? Sigh. So what is it this time?"

"I'm not sure. But so far it had killed both Gohan and Vegeta, two of the strongest fighters in the Universe, and … Shit!" Just realizing the debris that surrounds them. "What happened here?!"

"oh .. ummm .. Well, you see .. " Trunks stalls. Then he comes up with a brilliant plan …

HE starts crying. Sobbing. Uncontrollably.

"It was awful! (sob) I- I- I couldn't save them! (sniff, cough) I was too late. The- the creature was g-g-gone by the time I got here." He covers his eyes with his hands and peeks through the fingers to see if the Supreme Ki bought it.

"It's okay Trunks. We'll find this demon and destroy it without mercy!"

"AH! No!" Panic invades Trunks' voice, "No! I mean, uhh … I'll find it on my own! I need to exact revenge. It's personal or something like that. So … I'm gonna do that now. Later!"

With urgency, the Ki's voice cut through the air, "Trunks, stop."

`Oh shit, he didn't buy it' Reluctantly, Trunks turns around, just in time to catch the necklace the Ki threw at him.

"You might need this to defeat the creature. The amulet will increase you strength during a battle."

`Damn, I can't be seen with this! It's ugly! It's gonna repel all the chicks!' "Uh, thanks." He shoves it in a pocket and flies away.

******************

So who can help me now? Who haven't I killed? Piccolo and Tien! I guess I'll try them. Then again, Tien will probably be with Chiaotzu. Trunks shudders. What the hell IS Chiaotzu? If I see him, I'll kill him. I just know it. Sigh, well Tien is more likely to help me than Piccolo.

So Trunks finds Tien. Unbeknownst to Trunks, but knownst to us, he flies over 7 brothels, 2o bars, 65 dance clubs, and 1300 fraternity houses - all within 10 miles of each other - and any one of them swarming with girls.

Ah well, too bad for our oblivious friend. Apparently even Saiyan men can only focus on one thing at a time.

And now Trunks was focused on finding Tien.

And he does. Somewhere in the mountains. And Trunks doesn't see Chiaotzu.

I can't see Chiaotzu Maybe Tien ate him. Hahaha, that'd be funny. Please pass the Chiaotzu. Rice with Chiaotzu on the side! Hahaha … It amuses Trunks so much, he laughs out loud.

"Trunks? Is that you?" Tien calls from the ground.

Trunks stops laughing and lowers to the ground. "Yeah, hi. Let me get right to the point because right now I've got the Supreme Ki trying to kill me, and I'm so horny and desperate I think I'd have sex with Chiaotzu right now."

Chiaotzu shows up out of no where, "Really, Trunks?"

"AHHHH! Stay away from me, you creepy little elf!"

"I'm not an elf .. and besides, you said …"

Trunks, shrieking, "No! I didn't mean it! Get away! Augh!"

(Chiatzu inhales to speak, but is cut off by Trunks; maniacal scream, in the following manner:)

Chiaotzu, "…"

Trunks, "DON'T RAPE ME!" And then the ugly amulet turns red, glowing through Trunks' pocket. Trunks prepares a blast and sends a Kahmehameha wave, vaporizing Chaiotzu.

Tien, stunned, "I didn't know you knew the Kahmehameha technique."

Trunks takes the amulet out of his pocket, staring at it in wonderment. "I don't. This amulet did it." An evil Vegeta-smirk spreads across his face. "Cool." And he glances at Tien. "I wonder what else I can do." He flies into the air.

"What are you doing Trunks?" Tien, paralyzed with fear.

"Final Flash!!!!" And Tien's dead. Woo ha.

Trunks find Piccolo because he's about the only one left he hasn't killed. Piccolo's meditating, because he never does anything else.

And he dresses funny. But that's neither here nor there.

Trunks flies at Piccolo screaming, "I NEED SEX! Help me Piccolo! Help me get sex!"

Terrified out of his Namekian mind, Piccolo runs away, but Trunks is faster and grabs Piccolo by the wrist.

Piccolo starts crying, "I don't want to have sex with you, Trunks! I don't like you in that way. Pleee-eee-ease."

"Ew, get real. I'd rather eat pink posies and bury myself in severed tuna heads."

Piccolo wipes the tears away and clears his throat. Then it occurs to him that something Trunks just said was not quite right. "Wait, what? What the hell did you just say?!"

"I said I don't want to sleep with you."

Piccolo just stares at him with a `I know you just said something about pink posies and tuna heads, you deranged freak.'

Trunks continues, "All I want is for you to tell me where I can find some girls with whom I can hook up."

"With whom?"

"It's called `proper English' Mr. Green lizard. Didn't they teach you that on Namek? And hey, did you know Oscar is a purple lip o'clock?"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"

"Huh? I didn't say anything."

"Yes you did!"

"Nooooo. Calm down. Just because orange bumblebees sing opera in the buttered toast? Of course, marmalade shoe flies gently lamp-"

"That's it. You have to die. Special Beam Cannon!!"

Trunks, terrified, "AHHHH! What are you doing?!" He takes out the red amulet. "Mmmm, strawberry." And he eats it. And the Special Beam Cannon blasts through Trunks. It kills him. He's dead.

Piccolo returns to meditating.

END! HERE!

** I'm done. I've gone crazy, that's all there is to it. Just like Trunks did I guess. Anyone else care to join us? Ha, well I didn't see the story going here. Hmm, looks like I'll need another one where everyone is brought back to life. I'll do that, but only if people "liked" this story (and I use the word "like" very loosely). So lemme know.

On a completely unrelated note, I also write serious stories - if you would like a change of pace. They make more sense, I promise! Thanks for reading. How about a nice review to brighten my day? ^_^

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