Dear Journal:
I suffer. I suffer terribly. But... it helps now that there are people who are in this world... that understand the way I thought they did. It helps.. a lot.... And I'm grateful that I can finally talk to more than one someone about the way I feel.... and I am surprised that the place is just like my memories recieved from the giver...
Gabriel is now old enough to talk... he remains cute. But, he startles me because he remembers the community we have left in dreams. Says something about a girl with an elephant stuffed toy... and... of Mother and Father... I miss them...
even though they never have loved me, I had loved them. And I miss them terribly.. I shall not forget them.
I think there is no such thing as a world without pain. It's too hard... it isn't possible. I still suffer in a place that I thought would be better than the community (which it is~!) but... I wish there were. The world is too hard to live in... too easy to suffer in... but at least there are people who understand.
I wonder how the community is doing now. When I left it, they couldn't understand, because they didn't have the memories. But now... I wonder how they are coping without me.
I miss my friends, Asher and Fiona... even Pierre, the annoying worrywart. There are people like him... and them..here, and they remind me of them. Asher's playful personality, Fiona's gentle spirit... it reflects in this whole place... but.... there isn't anyone quiet like them. They themselves are individual, and they have gained a piece of my heart. The whole community has..
I wonder how the Giver is doing. He might be dead and gone now... but he might still be supporting the community on taking the sudden weight of the memories. I wonder if anyone is happy with them... I wonder if my family can cope... and I wonder if anyone is angry.
At the same time, I am happy for them. They will be happier knowing all this, and they will gain wisdom. Even here, there are people without wisdom, but then, they are innocent. The youthful are innocent... and happy. But they will gain wisdom as they grow.. like Gabriel.
I have my 'family unit' here as well... someone has adopted Gabriel and me... and love us to the greatest extent. I am glad that Gabriel didn't have to live in the community... and understand Sameness.
Now that I know how this world works... I wonder who was my real mother. My Birthmother, that is. Is she like what Lily had said? Possibly the same person who bore Gabriel? If so, we are brothers. It is an interesting concept...
Maybe, when I grow older, I will visit the community again. And see how it changed, and how it didn't. I long to see my loved ones again...
-Jonas.
I suffer. I suffer terribly. But... it helps now that there are people who are in this world... that understand the way I thought they did. It helps.. a lot.... And I'm grateful that I can finally talk to more than one someone about the way I feel.... and I am surprised that the place is just like my memories recieved from the giver...
Gabriel is now old enough to talk... he remains cute. But, he startles me because he remembers the community we have left in dreams. Says something about a girl with an elephant stuffed toy... and... of Mother and Father... I miss them...
even though they never have loved me, I had loved them. And I miss them terribly.. I shall not forget them.
I think there is no such thing as a world without pain. It's too hard... it isn't possible. I still suffer in a place that I thought would be better than the community (which it is~!) but... I wish there were. The world is too hard to live in... too easy to suffer in... but at least there are people who understand.
I wonder how the community is doing now. When I left it, they couldn't understand, because they didn't have the memories. But now... I wonder how they are coping without me.
I miss my friends, Asher and Fiona... even Pierre, the annoying worrywart. There are people like him... and them..here, and they remind me of them. Asher's playful personality, Fiona's gentle spirit... it reflects in this whole place... but.... there isn't anyone quiet like them. They themselves are individual, and they have gained a piece of my heart. The whole community has..
I wonder how the Giver is doing. He might be dead and gone now... but he might still be supporting the community on taking the sudden weight of the memories. I wonder if anyone is happy with them... I wonder if my family can cope... and I wonder if anyone is angry.
At the same time, I am happy for them. They will be happier knowing all this, and they will gain wisdom. Even here, there are people without wisdom, but then, they are innocent. The youthful are innocent... and happy. But they will gain wisdom as they grow.. like Gabriel.
I have my 'family unit' here as well... someone has adopted Gabriel and me... and love us to the greatest extent. I am glad that Gabriel didn't have to live in the community... and understand Sameness.
Now that I know how this world works... I wonder who was my real mother. My Birthmother, that is. Is she like what Lily had said? Possibly the same person who bore Gabriel? If so, we are brothers. It is an interesting concept...
Maybe, when I grow older, I will visit the community again. And see how it changed, and how it didn't. I long to see my loved ones again...
-Jonas.
