I Never Thought...
Disclaimer:Blah Blah: No, I don't own FF8. But if I did I would be rich. And no..I'm not "with the band" Blink-182 and do not own this song. Even when I CLAIM to own the song. ^_^!
Authors beginning note thingy: Okay..I was kinda mad when I wrote this. and I was listening to "Adam's Song" over and over. So that explains why it's in the story. And "Adam's Song" is the best song. And Blink-182 is the best band! So..R&R!
Zell stood up slowly. The bell that usually meant "hot-dog time" to him didn't mean much now. Sure, it had been atleast a year since Quistis got transferred to another part of the world, which seemed like another galaxy to Zell. The one thing that might have made her stay then didn't seem like such a great thing to to do when he heard the news. Two years ago, when Zell and Quistis had started dating, she told him that her career came first. And of course that was what had happened. This Friday, November 18, would have been their three year anniversary. Now, that seemed more like an old dream. Now, that bright; happy Zell from so long ago was carrying a frown and didn't seem interested in almost anything. "Move on!" Selphie had said one day. Move on? How could he? Maybe if he had listened to Selphie, he wouldn't be going through any of this now. What he was going through now was depression. The kind that lead to suicidal thoughts, but hell like it mattered now.
* I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest, who'd have known?
I traced the cord back to the wall
No wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
The choice was mine I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed to go on
You'll be sorry when I'm gone *
Yes, those kinda of thoughts were Zell's most frequent visitors. Maybe he wouldn't be to this point if he hadn't put everything he had into the relationship. He had put so much into it that he was at the point of asking Quistis to marry him. He had even bought an engagement ring with the money he had been saving for half of his life. If only... "No more ifs." He had said. Yet, everything he did always seemed to bring up more ifs. Now, Zell was slowly, but surely making his way to the cafeteria, but then again did it matter if he ever got there? Did it matter if he just so happened to be leaning over the balcony railing and slipped over the edge? It didn't matter to him. "And that's all that matters." Zell stood in the hall. He looked around. "No one the see anything." He shook his head. "Stop it, you twisted fuck." He sighed. It was way too late for him to just stop. (The rope and chair are already waiting.) He laughed. not that it was funny, but he never saw himself here two years back, when there was something to go on for. Or that actually mattered.
* I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over, We'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone *
Zell decided to skip lunch to get some fresh air. No, not to get the job done yet. He walked out onto the balcony. No one had been walking the halls. They had all gone to lunch or either to go study in the library. He stopped at the railing and looked out across the landscape. The most beautiful thing to see before you jumped the railing, or would have been. but next to Quistis it was nothing. Zell didn't see why his life had to go down the drain already. He was only 18. Too young to go to bars and too old to think all this would blow over. There was no point in thinking that anyway. His scores on tests had gone down because he had stopped preparing for the tests to decide how to end it. Rope and chair. Balcony and a great fall. Over dose of drugs or the messy ways: slicing his wrists,jumping off a building, praying there's a fence below..... He preferred not to think about those. "Too messy" He laughed at the thought.
* I never thought I'd die alone
Another six months I'll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You'll never set foot in my room again
You'll close it off, board it up
Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall
Please tell Mom this is not her fault *
Finally, after two weeks, he had decided on a way. "Rope and chair!" It was the easiest. Plus, no one would know for days.
Quistis made her way into Balamb Garden. She had decided to give all her friends an unexpected visit. And boy would it be one. As she made her way to the dorm of the person the wanted to see most, she spotted Selphie and Irvine. "Selphie! Irvine!" She started toward them. "QUISTY! WHOLY MONKEYS!" And Selphie was off, reaching her within seconds and hugging her as if she was a stuffed animal. "It's nice to see you too." Irvine on the other hand, slowly made his way. "Hey Quisty. How've ya been?" Irvine smiled. "Wonderful! I just thought I'd come by and see how everyone was doing. Oh, have you guys seen Zell?" She looked passed them. "I saw him going into his dorm earlier." Selphie smiled and hopped up a bit. "Could you guys excuse me?" Quistis smiled. "Sure! We'll see you at lunch, huh?" Quistis nodded and waved as she walked past them and headed to Zell's dorm. When she reached it she knocked. No answer. "Zell? It's Qusitis!" Still no response. She keyed in his passcode. "No change in that." She smiled, not knowing what awaited behind the closed door. She walked into the room and the door slid closed behind her. Soon, a glass-shattering scream echoed down the halls. One that could possibly be heard for miles. We all know it's tough to lose someone you love. In Quistis's case if she had stayed with the people who actually loved her, and forgot about her goddam career and put them first, none of this would have happened. And Zell's depression could have been avoided.
* I never conquered, rarely came
But tomorrow holds such better days when I can still feel alive
When I can't wait to get outside
The world is wide, the time goes by
The tour was over, I've survived
I can't wait till I get home
To pass the time in my room alone *
To Be Continued....
Author ending note: Okay...you'll all have to wait until I find a song to go with the next chapter until you find out what Quistis actually saw. Well..R&R and if you flame me...I do know how to remove your review you mean person. ^_^! Well...hope you liked my twisted story of how you need to put your friends before your career. Because without friend you wouldn't be where you are now. So remember that the next time you want to ruin your friends life because she accidentally broke your pen or something. Later!
~~ Qusits_Almasy ~~
Disclaimer:Blah Blah: No, I don't own FF8. But if I did I would be rich. And no..I'm not "with the band" Blink-182 and do not own this song. Even when I CLAIM to own the song. ^_^!
Authors beginning note thingy: Okay..I was kinda mad when I wrote this. and I was listening to "Adam's Song" over and over. So that explains why it's in the story. And "Adam's Song" is the best song. And Blink-182 is the best band! So..R&R!
Zell stood up slowly. The bell that usually meant "hot-dog time" to him didn't mean much now. Sure, it had been atleast a year since Quistis got transferred to another part of the world, which seemed like another galaxy to Zell. The one thing that might have made her stay then didn't seem like such a great thing to to do when he heard the news. Two years ago, when Zell and Quistis had started dating, she told him that her career came first. And of course that was what had happened. This Friday, November 18, would have been their three year anniversary. Now, that seemed more like an old dream. Now, that bright; happy Zell from so long ago was carrying a frown and didn't seem interested in almost anything. "Move on!" Selphie had said one day. Move on? How could he? Maybe if he had listened to Selphie, he wouldn't be going through any of this now. What he was going through now was depression. The kind that lead to suicidal thoughts, but hell like it mattered now.
* I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest, who'd have known?
I traced the cord back to the wall
No wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
The choice was mine I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed to go on
You'll be sorry when I'm gone *
Yes, those kinda of thoughts were Zell's most frequent visitors. Maybe he wouldn't be to this point if he hadn't put everything he had into the relationship. He had put so much into it that he was at the point of asking Quistis to marry him. He had even bought an engagement ring with the money he had been saving for half of his life. If only... "No more ifs." He had said. Yet, everything he did always seemed to bring up more ifs. Now, Zell was slowly, but surely making his way to the cafeteria, but then again did it matter if he ever got there? Did it matter if he just so happened to be leaning over the balcony railing and slipped over the edge? It didn't matter to him. "And that's all that matters." Zell stood in the hall. He looked around. "No one the see anything." He shook his head. "Stop it, you twisted fuck." He sighed. It was way too late for him to just stop. (The rope and chair are already waiting.) He laughed. not that it was funny, but he never saw himself here two years back, when there was something to go on for. Or that actually mattered.
* I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over, We'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone *
Zell decided to skip lunch to get some fresh air. No, not to get the job done yet. He walked out onto the balcony. No one had been walking the halls. They had all gone to lunch or either to go study in the library. He stopped at the railing and looked out across the landscape. The most beautiful thing to see before you jumped the railing, or would have been. but next to Quistis it was nothing. Zell didn't see why his life had to go down the drain already. He was only 18. Too young to go to bars and too old to think all this would blow over. There was no point in thinking that anyway. His scores on tests had gone down because he had stopped preparing for the tests to decide how to end it. Rope and chair. Balcony and a great fall. Over dose of drugs or the messy ways: slicing his wrists,jumping off a building, praying there's a fence below..... He preferred not to think about those. "Too messy" He laughed at the thought.
* I never thought I'd die alone
Another six months I'll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You'll never set foot in my room again
You'll close it off, board it up
Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall
Please tell Mom this is not her fault *
Finally, after two weeks, he had decided on a way. "Rope and chair!" It was the easiest. Plus, no one would know for days.
Quistis made her way into Balamb Garden. She had decided to give all her friends an unexpected visit. And boy would it be one. As she made her way to the dorm of the person the wanted to see most, she spotted Selphie and Irvine. "Selphie! Irvine!" She started toward them. "QUISTY! WHOLY MONKEYS!" And Selphie was off, reaching her within seconds and hugging her as if she was a stuffed animal. "It's nice to see you too." Irvine on the other hand, slowly made his way. "Hey Quisty. How've ya been?" Irvine smiled. "Wonderful! I just thought I'd come by and see how everyone was doing. Oh, have you guys seen Zell?" She looked passed them. "I saw him going into his dorm earlier." Selphie smiled and hopped up a bit. "Could you guys excuse me?" Quistis smiled. "Sure! We'll see you at lunch, huh?" Quistis nodded and waved as she walked past them and headed to Zell's dorm. When she reached it she knocked. No answer. "Zell? It's Qusitis!" Still no response. She keyed in his passcode. "No change in that." She smiled, not knowing what awaited behind the closed door. She walked into the room and the door slid closed behind her. Soon, a glass-shattering scream echoed down the halls. One that could possibly be heard for miles. We all know it's tough to lose someone you love. In Quistis's case if she had stayed with the people who actually loved her, and forgot about her goddam career and put them first, none of this would have happened. And Zell's depression could have been avoided.
* I never conquered, rarely came
But tomorrow holds such better days when I can still feel alive
When I can't wait to get outside
The world is wide, the time goes by
The tour was over, I've survived
I can't wait till I get home
To pass the time in my room alone *
To Be Continued....
Author ending note: Okay...you'll all have to wait until I find a song to go with the next chapter until you find out what Quistis actually saw. Well..R&R and if you flame me...I do know how to remove your review you mean person. ^_^! Well...hope you liked my twisted story of how you need to put your friends before your career. Because without friend you wouldn't be where you are now. So remember that the next time you want to ruin your friends life because she accidentally broke your pen or something. Later!
~~ Qusits_Almasy ~~
