The Marauding Five : Year Five

Siri: Lol, I understand. One thing I hate most is falling asleep with a book in hand, dream of the characters in the book, get a nightmare [in my case] and jump up, only to find that I'd just missed breakfast. Then again, it's not always that I read book these days. I'm banend from them. Still, I have even weirder dreams than before… ever heard of cartwheeling around the Quidditch pitch, broom in one hand, a plush toy in the other and a birthday hat on your head, wearing clown suit?

greengoldfish: what is thingymabopper? Lol, and I certainly don't want any evil spoons sent to my home, no!!! AVK just threatened me with b-b-b-boybands…

Parvati Brown: school??? I'm having major exams in two weeks!!! Heavens, I shouldn't even be writing this or posting anything in particular, let alone get on internet! Anyway, my English teacher gave me an A star!!! Yay!!! FINALLY!!!

*Britz*: You stayed up for more than 25 hours?? NO!!!! You broke my record!!!! My record was staying up for 24 hours, because I was arguing with my cousin over certain facts and, well, we ended up yelling the whole day about that. I'll get the last chapter out right after my exams!

Noelle: hehe, my teacher refused to call me up, too, because I'm too smart! No, I was just kidding, actually. They didn't call me up because they don't feel like embarassing me before my classmates and the visitors in my school [we get tons]. Speaking of visitors to school, I feel like being in the zoo! I'm the monkey in the zoo [school] and the visitors are tourists with cameras :) NEwayz, I read the Jules POV!! That was really sweet of you! Thanks! You'll get your "Janet Morton" answers in this chapter *wicked laugh* and as for the other Adele's weird attitude, I'll explain in the next chapter [which I had drafted out…simply]. And I don't remember having octopus robes… severe case of bad memory ^_^;;

Disclaimer: Everything's mine except… well, you know.

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The Marauding Five : Year Five

Chapter 9: Shape-Shifter

'What do you mean she's not my sister?' Lily asked, frowning deeply. 'She was Janet Garnet Evans before she became Janet Morton. That's, course, if you're too stupid to understand that small fact.'

'Lily's right. She told us the whole story,' James said. The Maggles stared at the hard. Hard, frowning and in utter disbelief.

"But Janet Evans never existed!" Adele Green exclaimed

'How would you know?' Sirius challenged. 'You – I mean, we – are your reincarnations! We're your after-life! That means you're "alive" only when we were alive! How's you know, because you were really "asleep" until last year, when you started becoming active?'

"Well…"

"For one, look at your parents' age," Brad advised.

"If your calculations are right, Janet's age is out of bounds, unless your parents were married when they're only 16," Chore said, "and we know that they don't."

"Yep. Rose's my best friend," Trenna nodded.

"Oh, look at the names, too," Pepper reminded.

"Rose and William have a thing for flowers (don't ask). Petunia Telly Evans is a sort of mutated name of a scarlet pimpernal and a tulip," Green added.

'I don't believe you!' Lily said stubbornly. Trenna held her on. 'Lemme go!'

"Shan't!"

'Then I'll force you to!' Lily snapped, her green eyes flashing angrily. 'James, make her!'

'Lily, maybe youd better listen,' Remus said quietly.

'I'm going, whether Janet's my sister or not1 I want to see how are they killing that dumb insect!!! Do you get me or do you not?????' Lily yelled.

'Insect?' Adele repeated in puzzlement.

'Madam I-Am-The-Best-Seer-In-This-Whole-Wide-Universe,' Lily said. 'Now will you let me go???'

"Um…"

"We'll follow you, in that case."

'D'you really think so?' Adele whispered. 'I mean, that she wanna see Trelawney killed?'

'You can't tell with Lily,' Sirius said cautiously.

'But if Janet really isn't Lily's real sister—' James started.

'I think she is, so shut up, Potter!' Lily snapped coldly.

'We haven't got a proof for that,' Adele said sensibly. 'I mean, we never really had much chance to confirm that with your parents.'

'Yeah. We stayed home from Christmas and Easter,' Remus reminded.

Just then, a flash of light blinked in Lily's green eyes. The girl turned pale and felt oddly cold as the fell back onto the cough with a look of shock beautifully portrayed on her tanned face. She stared at her and her friends's past lives and her friends.

'I never really gave that much thought,' she said pensively at last. 'I mean, I forgot to realize that each time we try to send mail home about Janet, something always stops it. When we tried going back for christmas, a snow storm turned in for two weeks. Mom and dad all left for vacation in the east during Easter.'

"You won't go now?" Trenna said hopefully. She rather not vanish yet.

'Don't go?' James cried in pure horror. 'It sounds like trouble already, now that Lily had kindly pointed some very important points out! We have to go!'

"And what? Act hero? Dream on, kid," Chore said sarcastically.

"No, we're NOT interested in being banished. Yet,' Brad said sharply.

'Banished?'

'What?'

'Yet?'

'Huh?'

'What d'you mean?'

"If you die, we'll be gone," Green said, wincing at the thought.

"We're only a distant memory, you know," Pepper sighed.

"No reason to let life fly at all!" Trenna yelled. "You stay where you all are!"

'You let your life fly,' Lily said monotonously, as if it's something very common, which it is to them.

"Er, well, under certain circumstances…"

'We're going,' Remus said, standing up. 'And so are you all, too,' he added, casting a glaring eye on each of the Maggles.

**

'Janet! Janet! Dumbledore! Minnie!' Lily called, rushing into the staff room anxiously. The Maggles (with a sour look on their semi-visible-white faces) and the Marauders rushed in after her. All ten stopped dead in their tracks (or air, in the Maggles's case) at the scene before them.

It was nearly black, like travelling into space without a single dot of star or coment. The room was in a dreadful mess, too. Obviously some professors who were lounging in here met the changed Janet Morton and had put up a fight. Probably Professor Kettleburn or maybe even Hagrid, judging the shattered splinters of a broken table and three crashed chairs.

One tall lady stood up sharply, her glasses's frames glinting and her flashing brown eyes were cold. Her hair was swept by a sudden breeze and she began walking towards the Marauders.

"Watch out," Green muttered.

"I don't think they fancy dying," Chore choked, hoping that what he'd said was true.

'Hello, sister dear,' Morton greeted in her sweet, yet deadly cold voice. 'How are things doing these days?' Lily froze on spot.

'What happened?' was Adele's first choked out words. Of course she knew what happened, but a similar question wouldn't hurt, would it?

Morton ignored her. 'Now Lily, how did you get here?' Morton asked. The still sweet voice, but with a tinge of anger in it now. Lily shook herself mentally and looked at Morton coolly, trusting her instincts to not meet her eye.

'How'd I get here? Well, that's a stupid question, really,' Lily said calmly. 'I walked here. What else do you think legs are for, then, sister dear?'

Morton licked her lips hungrily and the five Marauders slowly took a step backwards.

'Where's Dumbledore?' James asked cautiously. The headmaster is supposed to be here.

'Lost his way I must asy,' Morton replied coolly. 'Now kids, how about a game?'

"Don't! do and I'll kill all of you—myself!" Trenna hissed vindictively.

They gulped. What are they going to do? Right now, James wondered why did they ever complain about Dumbledore allowing their parents into the school. They definitely need the desirious help from their mothers at this very moment now.

'How about a game?' Morton roared suddenly, making them shake like autumn leaves caught in an early snow storm.

'No thanks,' Sirius said.

'YOU DARE DEFY ME?!?!'

'You asked a decisive question!' Remus shot. 'And it's based on our opinion, so we're free to answer it however we like, Janet!'

'Janet?' she whispered softly, her body suddenly looking wobbly. 'If it must be, my… friends. But I am not Janet. Nor is my name Morton. Nor Garnet, nor Evans.' She suddenly took shape of Professor Flitwick's tiny forn. Her body wobbled again, and Professor Halley came. 'No, my deard. I'm not some pathetic girl with a lousy name!' She spat, as if it were a cursed word.

'Ugh, talk about being a prefect. Can I issue her a detention?' James said sarcastically, referring to the spit.

'Then who are you? Voldemort?' Adele said. The now clone-Professor Minnie McGonagall let loose an evil cackle, swinging her head off-course (much to everybody's disgust) and changed tp Professor Morton again before dissolving with the swirling black mist that had appeared out of nowhere.

'Precisely,' it said (we couldn't place it a human, so it shall be a great choice). 'No, I am not exactly Voldemort.' The voice turned into Lord Voldemort. The invisible Maggles (to "it" anyway) began pulling horrid faces at the late Tom Riddle to annoy or make fun of him. They hate him, right to the very last strand of hair.

'Not exactly him?' Remus said, trying to choke back a laughter that was itching in his throat, because of the five Maggles.

"It" turned into the black mist again, before re-emerging in Voldemort's form.

'You now, I have a wonderfully scrumpilicious idea,' James said suddenly, making the "it" pause in its current form. 'Waddiwasi!' James cried, pulling his wand out.

Poof!!

Voldemort-It had a gun stuck in his half-formed slitted, snake-like nose hole.

'Nay, that's boring,' Lily said, shaking her head doubtfully at James's spell. 'Transfigure!'

Poof! Combined with a fun in Voldemort-It's nose, he now have a horrid looking hat on his head. A stuffed vulture and a turkey sitting on it solemnly, to be precise. Adele decided that she had to listen to her funny bone and began giggling hysterically.

Voldemort-It shuddered a little.

'Oh, give me a chance!' Sirius giggled, twirling his wand in his fingers. 'Colourius!!'

Rather than changing colour, the spell had a different effect on Voldemort-It. It began swinging an overlarge handbag-trunk, covered in pink and blue polka dots. Adele burst into laughter.

Voldemort-It shuddered before assuming the form of a large serpent.

'I am NOT to be fooled with!!!' it hissed. 'I am Shape-Shifter, and I shall perish you!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!'

'What is a Shape-Shifter?' Sirus asked curiously.

'No such animal,' Adele stammered, recovering from her fit of laughter.

'I AM LORD VOLDEMORT'S SHADOW!!!!' it said, cackling again like a demented, knocked-out parrot. 'AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU LOUSY INSOLENT FOOLS CAN DO TO DESTROY ME!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!'

"Awww… poor thing," Trenna cooed sarcastically.

'Sounds like we should sew it back,' Remus said thoughtfully. 'Remember Peter Pan? Wendy sewed his shadow back with normal needle and thread! Why not we, then, with a large flag pole and blanket?'

'Because we can't sew?' Lily suggested. The Shape-Shifter slithered to Adele and Sirius, coiling its long body around them tightly, binding them to its green and yellow body.

'Slick,' Sirius muttered, struggling. Shape-Shifter vanished, leaving a tight, silvery substance to hold both its hostages.

'I shall not be the fool my master was when he last dueled you!' Shape-Shifter cried, appearing in a scorpian's form. 'Magic! Pah!'

'Speaking of which, why did you disguise as my sister? Teach James and Remus their stuff? What happened to Voldemort? Why are you here? And what made Dumbledore – in his wrong state of mind, mind you – let you in?' Lily demanded. The scorpian clicked and swung its sting in a sort of "hmph."

'Twenty-questions? I shall not be lured into your trap!!!' Shape-Shifter replied smugly, thinking that it's a trap they had laid to catch him off guard.

"Who's trapping him? I'll kll a scorpian when I see one," Chore muttered.

'I asked only five questions,' Lily said waterily, as if snubbing him. The scorpian started angrily for a second before resuming back to its place.

'I must NOT be angry. I must NOT be angry. I must NOT be angry,' Shape-Shifter muttered repeatedly to himself. It changed its form into Professor Trelawney.

'Stupid is the name of my cow,

I always let him graze in my cat's prowl;

But oh! So stupid is my cow,

To eat up Shape-Shifter's gooey crow!' Sirius sang. He had gotten bored, sitting there like a dumb dummy, being held a hostage.

Shape-shifter winced, before collecting himself again.

'I do not have a mud-greased crow!' it cried indignantly. 'I don't even have a crow!!!'

'And do I told my Stupid cow,

"Who go graze at some mud-greased crow?

Go for those pastures which houses the flowers,

And eat up all of Shape-Shifter's floss!"' Adele sang, deciding, too, that it's getting too boring. It's much better than brroding about her capture too.

'I don't floss!' Shape-Shifter yelled.

'The floss of Shape-Shifter was disgusting,

So I brought Stupid to go a-hunting;

What we came across was a good ka-bamming,

Caused by Shape-Shifter's own flu mucus-ing!' Remus giggled, finding that adding words that don't exist in a tuneless sond is every bit as amusing as playing pranks.

'Stop! Stop! Stop, I tell you! You disgusting vermins!' Shape-Shifter yelled, covering its Trelawney ears.

'That was a nice one, Remus,' Lily grinned. 'Lemme try…:

'My cow Stupid ate those green dirt,

Only to come up with one nasty red shirt;

What my stupid don't know, twas a wishing shirt,

He ended up wishing for a great fire to burn.'

'My try now,' James said, seeing Shape-Shifter curling in agony. 'Here goes:

Stupid's wish gave Shape-Shifter a fright,

And the Shifter cried out, "NO!!! Don't have me friend!"

But Stupid's wish was granted at midnight,

And Shape-Shifter was fried when the clock striked.'

"Very… impressive," Pepper said at last.

"Very. Look, the Shape-Shifter's changing!" Green squealed.

And so he was. He turned black for a moment and then he came back. Too bad, that was only for a short four seconds. Shape-Shifter sneered cruelly at the five kids and tied them all up before you can say "He's okay?!"

'That way, you can't call for help,' it said silkily. James slapped himself. Why hadn't one of them called for help when they're still free?

'What do you want with us?' Adele asked, the feeling of singing ludicrous songs drowned by her fears.

'I want a penny to go buy a henny,

But daddy and mommy won't grimme the penny;

So I settled for a big, giant hilly

And saved daddy and mommy from my giant gilly,' Lily sang, not quite sure about what she's thinking. She then went on:

'My hilly is as hilly as a bright flat penny,

Which is really as hilly as my plain Miss Bessie;

It means that my hilly is not at all hilly,

Mommy and daddy are very angry.'

"Don't make it sound like you're dying!" Green scolded.

'But I feel that way!' Lily retorted.

'Mommy and daddy began yelling,

The the drum in my ears keep humming;

I wish mummy and daddy should stop arguing

So I can get my hilly a wee penny,' Sirius sang, ending it with a wistful sigh. He turned around. 'Hey, what's with Shape-Shifter?'

Voldemort's shadow – or as it had claimed – began twitching and moaning in a rather disgusting tone. It squeaked and squeatched and twitched and twotched uncontrollably. The trelawney figure was long gone and the horrible black thing was moaning painfully.

'Professor McGonagall?' asked a high-pitched voice.

'I am 'ere for our deglension,' came Pastilla Thore's familiar voice.

'We am 'ere too,' Pattempt said.

'We're- we're here for our- our detention,' said a frightened voice.

Everyone turned to face the four first-years who had just entered the bleak staff-room. Adele eyed nervously from the four to the hungry looking Shape-Shifter, which seemed to have began smiling evilly at them.

''ello James, Lily, Remus, Sirius, Adele!' Pastilla said cheerfully. Her twin brother echoed her.

'At times like this, I can't praise you,' Sirius said dully.

'Hello, uh, Prefect James, Prefect Lily, Senior Sirius, Senior Remus and Senior Adele,' the high-pitched girl, Tipsy Perele, said.

'Prefect. Hah. What a disgrace to be seem tied up!' James muttered.

'Jameth, Lily, Thiruth, Remuth, Adele,' Emily Dole said. She seemed to have some problem saying the letter "s".

'Hello lisper,' Remus greeted. 'The name's Remus, not Remuth.'

'I am not a lithper!' Emily replied indignantly, blushing red.

"Someone's looking hungry," Pepper said, looking at Shape-Shifter.

'Vot ar' you doing 'ere?' Pattempt asked curiously.

'Trying to get out? No, look, run off,' Adele said. 'And I mean now!' she added hastily, seeing the four curious faces.

'Deglension,' Pastilla said simply.

'OUT!' Lily yelled. 'Or I'll take fifty points from Gryffindor and detention for the rest of your life! And trust me, I have my way to keep my word!' she said with angry flashes in her eyes.

'We're here for detention!' Tipsy said.

'We said out. O-U-T OUT!' Sirius barked. 'Do it or—'

'I'll set a Grim on all of you!' James cut. 'Sirius has on, and he's lucky that he hasn't died yet. Run!'

'C'mon, let uth go now,' Emily mumbled, tugging her friends.

'Good choice, lisper,' Remus said.

'I am NOT lithping!!!'

'OUT!!!' the Marauders and Maggles (althought unheard) yelled at once. The four turned towards the door hurriedly, but a shadow fell sinisterly before them. It snickered at the paralyzed first-years.

'Running, aren't we?' it said, licking its lips. 'It's been a long time since I had a fresh meal… fresh meat… fresh HUMANS!'

The Gryffindor stared. And blinked. And they let out a piercing scream that shook the castle on the mountain cruelly.

"Students are coming!" Trenna said urgently.

"We have to go! Few that have the seventh sight might see us!" Brad said.

"We'll see if we can get Rose," Chore said. "Time to annoy her."

"High chances of that. She wants to capture us," Green muttered.

"We'll just be careful. Bye kiddos!" Pepper waved, before disappearing with his friends.

'It's MARAUDERS!!!' the five snapped, just as the rest of the school arrived at the staff-room, and Tipsy Perele gobbled by the menacing Shape-Shifter.

'Tipthy! TIPTHY!!!' Emily cried, before breaking into loud, bitter sobs. Shape-Shifter licked its lips with its blue tongue.

'Beauty,' it said. 'Simply delicious.'

'What is going on here?' the HeadBoy cried. Anna Hopkins was comforting the sobbing Emily and the few who had noticed the binded Marauders were freeing them.

'Voldemort's shadow,' Adele breathed, rubbing her free hands in glee. 'Or so Shape-Shifter had claimed.'

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! An evil laugh sounded suddenly, making everyone jump.

'It's him alright,' Sirius muttered, brushing himself. Seeing the curious looks thrown at him, he continued irritably. 'Can't I brush myself? It's not in the law that it is illegal for men to brush themselves! And that person I meant when I said "him" is Voldemort!'

few students shuddered this time. Most of the old students were used to that name by now, since a few brave ones had been using it quite regularly, such as Dumbledore and the Ignorant Five a.k.a. the Marauders.

The laugh seemed to be coming from a nearby scarlet handbag, so everyone turned to it attentively, even Shape-Shifter.

HAHAHA! IT IS ME, LORD VOLDEMORT!!!'

'Gosh, what an odd name!' a young muggleborn exclaimed.

SHUT UP!!! I AM LORD VOLDEMORT!!!

'Uh-huh. Go on,' another muggleborn said uncaringly.

… AREN'T YOU AFRAID? NEVER MIND THAT. I AM LORD VOLDEMORT!!!!

'Aren't you bored, saying the same thing?' Anna asked.

'Do not defy my master!' Shape-Shifter snapped.

I AM A RADIO RECORDER!!! I AM LORD VOLDEMORT!!!!

'…'

'Okay…' a few students (excluding those who went speechless with disbelief) said.

'Radioes aren't suppose to work in Hogwarts,' Lily said. She knew. How many times had she tried bringing a radio recorder in? Countless.

'Zackly,' Pastilla said, nodding in agreement.

'Pastilla! Pattempt!' Pastira Thore cried, pulling her twin siblings away. 'Stay here!'

'Yes, Pastira.'

Suddenly, an image began to form from the scarlet handbag. It was a large, human-sized image. An image of a smal, white face with tiny slits for eyes, nose and a lipless mouth. The horrible image was cladded in a half-eaten vulture hat, a set of tropical fruits in a big basket and a long, scarlet dress.

'That's… Voldemort?' James said incredously, half unbelieving.

I AM LORD VOLDEMORT!!!

Everyone who saw the image production was debating whether or not they should laugh or keep a straight face. It looked funny and it seemed as if someone had done a really bad job in disguising. Finally, Remus decided that the tickle was too much. He began howling and rolling on the floor. The school soon followed, and Shape-Shifter looked like a failed boggart.

'Do not laugh! Do not laugh!' Shape-Shifter yelled. 'I place the wrong projection!!!'

'Wrong –cough– projection?' Dan coughed.

'Yes, yes! That is master's disguise in the summer! At the south islands! This is the real one!'

Click! (I AM LORD VOLDEMORT!!!!!). The same picture still showed, only, instead of the fruits basket, Lord Voldemort is now holding a model of lady Statue of Liberty, as if the statue itself was holding the torch.

'No! No!' Shape-Shifter yelled, pressing a sort of remote-control.

Click!

I AM LORD—PARDON ME—I AM SAILORMOON!!!! FIGHTER OF LOVE AND JUSTICE!!!!!

The snake-like wizard was dressed in the SailorMoon costume, with its red skimpy short skirt, knee length red boots and a crescent moon plastered on his forehead. The two "meatball" buns of 'mantou' (dumpling_ were pasted on his head to give the SailorMoon-like hairstyle.

'Wrong! Wrong!!' Shape-Shifter yelled.

Click!

I AM… … … … … … … … … D… … E… … S… … T… … R… … O… … D… … !… …

And with a blaze of thick smoke, the scarlet handbag disappeared.

'Aaah! MASTER!!!' Shape-Shifter yelled tearfully.

'Is he supposed to be in the St. Mungo's?' the HeadBoy asked. It was amazing how he had a straight face after all of Voldemort's costume displays.

'He was okay a while ago,' Adele said. 'I say, let's sing a song!!'

'No! No!! No song!' cried the horrified shadow, its cool, calm composure all lost. It was in a complete state of hysterics now, thought there's no possible theory to explain why, or how that had come to.

'How about "Old MacDonald"?' a fourth year suggested.

'"Polly Wolly Doodle!"'

'Pokémon!'

'Dragon Ball!!'

'No, DORAEMON!!!!' Sirius yelled.

'Quiet! I am HeadBoy!' the headboy yelled. He cleared his throat. 'Alright, let's sing Kookaburra!!!!! Follow, or I'll minus all your house points and assign you all two detentions a month! Now sing!' Shape-Shifter trembled.

So everyone sang the old "Kookaburra" song with high spirits, some even yelling, trying to our-do each other's voice. The Slytherin and Ravenclaw were practically tearing the roof down by yelling themselves hoarse.

Dumbledore entered the room when the last word was sang, greeted by a very loud "ME" from all four house residents. Shape-Shifter had burst into nothing. The students all had a party for defeating Shape-Shifter without a teacher's assistance. Tipsy Perele reappeared after the sunlight streamed in through the windows, without, again, a reasonable theory.

And last of all, every single student was dispatched to repair the damage their loud voices had done to the cracked ceilings, broken glasses, powdered statues, shaggy paintings and many many more.

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AN: yay!!! It's finally done!!!! And I had Voldemort in stuffed vulture hat, statue of liberty and even in a SailorMoon costume!!! Lolz, I was reading my SailorMoon comics when I wrote this :) amusing, don't you think? Let me know if you laugh, cause I'm pretty sure that my friends didn't!

So much for this chapter, clearing up Janet Morton and bla bla bla. Oh, there's a last chapter to this year, too. And I promise. I sincerely honestly swear that I'll finish it with at least a LITTLE romance :)

NOTE: I can't post anything for the next three weeks :( I have MAJOR exams, people, so wish me luck on it! I really really need all the luck I can scrape!!! Also, next post will be the last chapter for The Marauding Five Y5 and James Potter and the Unogua Board! I don't know whether to be happy or sad about this… *sniffle* I'll have a new story up after that, and The Marauding Five Y6 though, so be prepared for it!!!!
oh, if you want something to read at the moment, I'd recommend Even Angels Make Mistakes! because Ginny :) and I finished it!! yay!!!
bunny chan