By Admiral Albia
In which Sirius gets married, Harry fails to read the signs and something rather awful happens...
Disclaimer; I own nothing except the plot and any characters you don't recognize from the books. It's very simple. Jiggy McCue (and the other Musketeers) belong to the great god Michael Lawrence, the rest belongs to the great goddess J.K. Rowling.
My heartfelt gratitude to Caitlin Black. A better beta-reader I could not ask for.
Chapter 8; Padfoot's Wedding
"Ready to go, boys?"
"Yep," James and Harry said simultaneously.
"No you're not. Your hair's everywhere. Both of
you."
"It's always everywhere," James pointed out.
"Not today, it isn't going to be."
"Oh, yes it is."
"C'mere."
"No." Sudden inspiration dawned. "Do Harry!"
"Hey!"
After about half an hour of this, Lily gave up - she couldn't move
as fast as before anyway. "Suit yourselves. Maybe the next one will
have normal hair..."
"Oh, no. We are not havng another one. Not
after what happened with him." James jerked his head in Harry's direction.
"What happened with me?" Harry asked.
"You got famous."
"Oh. That."
"We're going to be late," Lily said.
"And whose fault is that, Miss I'll-just-comb-your-hair?"
"No." Remus grinned. "At a guess, I'd say Lily's trying to comb their hair."
"True... how true... their hair?"
"Harry."
"Oh... right."
"Where's Tkaa?" Remus asked, suddenly noticing that Sirius' hood was empty.
"He has finally left me alone and gone off with the cat. I think they're plotting to stop us plotting to sabotage the wedding..."
"Right... he hasn't been away from you for ages, had you noticed?"
"Last time he left me alone I got arrested. He's now decided to stick to me like glue."
"Ah."
"His words," Sirius said, "not mine."
"I don't get this," Remus sighed. "Neither of you wants to get married, and all you've got to do is to get the animals out of the way and call it off. Why don't you?" Sirius shrugged.
"About a week ago we gave all the animals a Sleeping Draught and talked it over properly. We decided to go for it."
"Ah. Hey, who's that little green dragon with Bria?"
"Oh... that's Kaera. One of Emilily's friends' pets. And one of Bria's friends."
"The human friend being...?"
"Helen. Our only human bridesmaid."
"Um... when you say your only human bridesmaid, are you, in actual fact, saying that, for example, Binary is going to be a bridesmaid?"
"Exactly. Binary, Bria, Kaera, Helen and Milton, for some reason."
"Milton's male!" Remus paused. "Isn't he?"
"Yep."
"Then shouldn't he be a page?"
"I tried that. He's adamant that he wants to be a bridesmaid."
"Insofar as I have a choice in this -" Sirius glared at Tkaa, who was back in his hood "- I do."
"And marrying a Mudblood," Cerberus Black said in disgust. "What have they done to him?"
"It doesn't matter. Lord Voldemort will make everything all right, you'll see..."
"I just hope you're right, Doxy. I just hope you're right..."
It happened in a matter of seconds. Sirius and Emilily looked straight at each other, paused, then turned to the vicar and said, in perfect unison;
"You have got to be kidding!" The Atmosphere broke; the assembled masses started to laugh. Or whinny, or bark, or sing or indeed hoot. It was really a matter of species preference.
That was not necessary, Tkaa said crossly as they walked out of the chapel. Sirius just smirked, unawae of what was soon to happen...
"Doxy, it's a kidnap. Please, contain yourself."
"No, no, not that, the wedding!" Cerberus sighed.
"We're here to perform a kidnap, Doxy. Please."
"Does my hair look all right?"
"You're invisible. I can't tell. Sssh, here comes one of them!"
"No," Hermione said vaguely. "I mean yes. Has anyone seen Neville? I saw him coming out of the chapel and then he sort of... vanished, and I haven't seen him since."
"He didn't bring Trevor with him. He's just... gone!"
"Don't be silly, Hermione... people can't just vanish..."
"Neville did," Hermione insisted. "I told you, I was there, I saw him." She rounded on Mona and Anna, who had just come up. "Have you seen Neville?"
"Not recently, no. Has anyone seen Paul?"
"Yeah, he's..." Ron stopped, puzzled. "He was here a minute ago..."
"He just disappeared," said Harry, who had kept out of the conversation so far. "Just like... hey! Where'd Mona go?" Everyone turned to stare at the spot where Mona had last been seen, and as they did so a rough hand clamped over Harry's mouth, and the next thing he knew he was in a bag and a voice was saying "Got `em. Come on, Doxy, let's go..."
A/n; CLIFFIE!!! *giggles* I like cliffies! They're fun! For anyone who's wondering, though, Cerberus and Doxy are under a silencing spell. They're not quite *that* stupid...
Next time things heat up! Get reviewing! I LIVE on `em! And you don't want me to die, do you?
(don't answer that question)
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