By Admiral Albia
In which Neville shows his true colours, Harry gets ill and there's a full moon too-oo-niiiight! Ahem.
Disclaimer; I own nothing except the plot and any characters you don't recognize from the books. It's very simple. Jiggy McCue (and the other Musketeers) belong to the great god Michael Lawrence, the rest belongs to the great goddess J.K. Rowling. All lines from the musical Anything Goes belong to whoever owns Anything Goes.
My heartfelt gratitude to Caitlin Black. A better beta-reader I could not ask for.
Chapter 11; The Knight Bus
"Oh, this is typical. Just typical.
I'm stuck in the Dark Lord's house with, no offense, a celebrity, a bitch
and a dingbat. Typical."
"We haven't even seen You-Know-Who yet," Neville
said. "I mean, you'd think he'd come and kill Harry, wouldn't you?"
"Thanks, Neville," Harry said sourly. His headache
was now worse than ever, and wasn't showing signs of going away.
"Well, I'm sorry, but it's true. And he's
useless." Neville nodded to Wormtail, who was curled up on a mattress in
the corner of the room, fast asleep.
"Yeah... our fake Moody'd have had a word or two
to yell at him," Harry said.
"I'll say. Hmm..."
"Neville? You look... odd."
"I just had an idea."
"That'd explain it," Mona muttered.
"Shall we?" And with that, Neville tilted his head
gently towards the slumbering Wormtail.
"No. We can't."
"We can. And we will. Come on."
"You do it."
"OK." Neville crept slowly up to Wormtail, leant
over so that his mouth was right next to the man's ear, took a deep breath
and yelled, "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" Wormtail jerked awake, screamed and attempted
to run out of the room, causing even Harry to laugh.
"Wormtail! what are you doing?" A high, cold voice
asked from the other side of the door.
"M-my lord..."
"Well?"
"Um... nightmares, my lord..." Realising that Neville
was still standing in the middle of the room, Harry crept towards him and
pulled him down so that he was sitting on one of the beds with the rest
of them, just seconds before Voldemort walked into the room.
"Good evening, children, and welcome to the Riddle
House. I am your host, Lord Voldemort, and Wormtail here will cater to
your bare necessities. There is a bathrom through this door here. Kindly
refrain from terrorizing my minions too much, they are difficult to find.
Not to mention difficult to keep."
"Maybe that's because you're so stupid," Neville
said. Loudly. Harry, Paul and Anna all stared at him.
"I beg your pardon?"
"I mean, only an idiot would send people out to
kill Muggle-borns. And it takes an even smaller IQ than that to work out
that if you kill people you get Aurors after you. And everyone knows that
Aurors send you to Azkaban. And people like you a lot more if you don't
terrify them out of their wits..."
"Neville," Harry said softly.
"I mean, what exactly is so scary about you?"
"Neville." A bit louder this time.
"You show me one scary ting about your body - aside
from the red contact lenses - and I'll show you a flying pig."
"NEVILLE!"
"What? Don't tell me you're scared of him, Harry..."
"As a matter of fact, I am. Know why? BECAUSE HE
WANTS TO KILL ME!"
"For once, I agree with Harry," Voldemort said.
"You are a waste of time, and I don't like wastes of time."
"You kill him, you'll have to kill me as well,"
Harry said.
"Gladly."
"And me!" Mona and Paul said, getting into the spirit
of the thing.
"Ah. That reminds me. Wolfsbane potion, Wormtail?"
"Here, my lord."
"Eww, no thanks," Mona said. "You could've put anything
in it! We'll drink our own." So saying, she produced two flasks, gave one
to Paul and downed the contents of the other. "Now, someone open the shutters."
"Ah-ah." Voldemort waggled a finger in a way that
he could only have picked up at the Muggle orphanage. "Wait until the sun
goes down."
"Hi," Ron said. "Um, I understand the bus was booked for this evening."
"S'right," Stan said.
"Well, we're the first part of the party. Can we come on?"
"Sure. Long as you give the password."
"Password?" Ron said blankly.
"Yeah. So we knows you're `oo you say you are. So. Wassa password?"
"Um. Excuse me." The four teenagers retreated into a huddle.
"Well, what's it likely to be?" Hermione whispered - Stan was watching them with interest.
"I dunno, do I?"
"The Marauders set it up," Anna said, "And they always use the same password. But I can't remember what it is..." There was a pause. Then;
"I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good?" Ron and Hermione said together.
"That's it!"
"I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good," Ron said to Stan.
"All right. I guess the other part's payin'?"
"Yep."
"Right. `Op on, then." They `opped on.
"Check."
"Where?"
"Up my sleeve, you dope."
"Oh, right. Chocolate?"
"Ch-*munch*-*gulp*-eck."
"Uneaten chocolate?"
"Ah. No check. I'll go and get some..."
"Distractions. Happy Little Sailor?"
"Check."
"Whatever Sirius, Emilily and Mike want to do?"
"Check."
"Check."
"Check."
"Girls! Things in case anything starts? I've got mine."
"Check."
"No check, mine finished yesterday."
"Boys! Girl-talk translators?"
"Not switched on, I didn't understand a word of that."
"Ditto."
"Same again. Ah, here's the uneaten chocolate!"
"In that case, we're all ready to go." James stuck his wand hand out, and jumped backwards sharpish.
"Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the-"
"Yeah, whatever. We're the party who booked. Password; I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good."
"Come on! That's firteen Galleons, please! No... that's not right..."
"It will be once we've got the people we're going to pick up," James said as he paid.
"Ah, right."
"I dunno... it's just that when it came to it, I wasn't scared any more." He paused. "What exactly is all the hype over that guy, anyway?"
"Oh, he's only the greatest Dark wizard since God knows when," Mona said sarcastically. "Nothing to worry about. After all, he's never killed anybody or anything..."
"It's his fault that your parents are insane, Neville," Harry pointed out quietly. Neville jumped.
"What gave you that idea?"
"Dumbledore. Sorry, I... got a bit nosy last term."
"Um, Harry." Paul sighed. "We heard that. Werewolf hearing's better than human hearing."
"Oh."
"It doesn't matter," Neville said consolingly. "At least you tried to keep it a secret..." Harry just keeled over.
"What...Harry? Harry!"
"That's Ok," James said. "Just wait here for us. And if we're not back in twenty-four hours, get the Ministry in."
"Right."
"And one more thing." Lily drew Stan as close as possible without offending James, and whispered, "Keep a bed ready. I'm expecting."
"That close, huh?" Remus asked.
"Will-you-stop-doing-that!"
"I can't help it if I can hear you, can I?"
A/n; *sighs* Rescue mission next time, peeps! And... oh my, Lily *is* close...but will the bed be necessary? Or will baby dear hold on? And what about Harry? Is it too late?
Review, please! =)
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