Disclaimer:
I don't own the Gboys....but if I did....it wouldn't be pretty....but it would sure as hell be a lot of fun!!
AN: I'm calling Relena by her alias now. So if you see Cerena, think Relena with black hair and a Duo-style braid! God, that's hard to imagine. Same deal with Heero/Chris. This is to show that they've changed, and are different people now.
Falling Angels: Chapter 7
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Cerena woke up the next morning to find both Kitty and Kay already awake, bickering over some trivial thing, like sisters do. She smiled and sat up, to find herself face to face with a young redhead in a wheelchair.
"Mariemaia Kukshirinada!" she yelped, startled.
"Relena Peacecraft!" she yelped back, mockingly. The she smiled. "Or should I say Cerena Dorlian?"
"Yes, you should." Relena, or Cerena, said bitterly. She was no longer Relena Darlian Peacecraft, although she used a variant of her adoptive parents name. Too much had happened in the last month. She could never go back to being a peaceful princess. "I am not Relena Peacecraft anymore."
Much to Cerena's surprise, Mariemaia slapped her. "That was not for when you slapped me, two years ago. I deserved that. No, that was for what you did to Chris." she said sternly.
"Chris? Heero?" she asked.
"Yes, Heero, but his name is Chris. You hurt him. You left. He is my friend. When you hurt him, you hurt me." she was practically yelling, and tears began to fill her eyes. "No, you're not Relena Peacecraft. She would never hurt someone who loved her like that."
He loved me? Yes, he did, he does. She thought. Then, "I had a right to leave. He left me time and time again, breaking my heart each time!"
"But he always came back."
"If he loved me then, he never showed it, except when he decided not to pull the trigger. Some expression of his love."
"He loved you then. He still loves you."
"I know."
"Will you love him back? Or are you still going to hold a grudge and make him feel the pain you felt. Cerena, you are strong. You have a strong heart, even though you cannot fight. He can defeat almost anyone on the battlefield, but his heart is fragile. If you break it, it will never heal. I know you can get over him in time. But he will never, ever get over you." Cerena never knew that Mariemaia knew Heero -No, Chris -at all, much less knew him so well. Marie glared at Cerena, and added "Before Dr. J took him, he was the kindest soul I ever knew. He was always smiling. After Dr. J he didn't show any emotion, but it better than before you left. All he's done for the past month is cry. Never in front of the other pilots, only when he was alone, working on his computer. You know he has a picture of you on his desktop. He only changes it when he can't bear to see your face anymore. Just remember, if you're going to love him, you can't run away again. You don't deserve him." She spat out the last words, turned, and quickly wheeled her way out of the room.
Tears had formed in Cerena's eyes. "I never knew....Heero....Chris...I don't deserve you." She quickly wiped away the tears that were running down her cheeks. She ran to the showers, and turned it on as hot as she could stand. What am I going to do? I can't stay here, Millardo will make me go with him. Lady Une too. But Heero -no, Chris - is protecting me. He won't let them take me back. I....I...I don't know what to do. I need to think.
She stepped out of the shower, dried off, and changed into the one of the uniforms from the basket in the corner. I...I have to leave. I can't stay here.
She went out to breakfast. Chris sat with Marie and his sisters. Marie was glaring at Cerena the whole time. Once, he got up to invite Cerena to sit with them. His sisters and Marie stopped him. They were jabbering about the game that day, and how they would beat the Demons in basketball, with or without Kitty.
"I'll coach from the sidelines!" she said.
"Fat chance. You don't know nothing about strategy, that's my area. All you do is carry out my orders." Kay taunted. Chris stopped the argument before it got out of hand by glaring at both of them.
"I'm not in the mood for this." he said, and got up. He took his food with him.
Cerena saw him approaching, and turned away. She hid her eyes. He sat beside her, and took her chin in his hand. He gently turned her to face to him. He saw the tears in her eyes, and felt pain stab at his heart. Did I do this? Did I hurt her again?
He hugged her tightly. "I'm sorry." he whispered into her ear.
Those words pierced her heart like a bullet. He thinks it's his fault I'm crying. He...he... "No, it's not your fault. It's mine." She then pulled herself away, and ran off, crying even harder.
He heard what she said, and he knew it wasn't his fault, but... My mind, my brain knows it's not my fault. But my heart never did listen to it. Why does my heart only hear her crying, not her words. He stared after her, his heart tore once more.
Emily was seated with her brothers, on the other side of the room. Perhaps I won't have to take a hand in this after all. she thought, smugly.
She watched as Chris got up, and left towards the boys' room.
Cerena sat on her bed, with a backpack of clothes, food, and money. She had a notebook in her hand, and was writing a letter. It wasn't very long, but it said everything she couldn't bring herself to say to his face.
She finished, and got up, wiping the salty water off the page before the ink smeared. Cerena put on the backpack, and silently creeped out the back door, leaving the letter in the garden, where she knew only Chris would find it.
Then, with tears streaming down her face, and the sun's glare in her eyes, she left.
Chris stood in his garden, not allowing himself to cry. Everything was turning out wrong. He meant to go home, find Relena, and be with his sisters. Everything was suppose to turn out alright. But nothing had. I came here looking for Relena, but I found Cerena. I came here so my sister could forget her pain, but she cries herself to sleep every night, and has nightmares about Andy. I came here so I could be happy, but now I hurt more than ever. Cerena...Relena. Why?
But he knew why. He knew exactly what she was feeling. She said it herself, he had done the same thing to her. He read her letter once more, sure that he had missed something.
Dear Chris, I love you. I always have. But I need some time. You left me once, because you needed to think. You needed to discover who you were. Now you know. But I don't. I am not Relena Peacecraft. I never really was, it was just a name and a face given to me. I need to find out who I am. I'm sorry I have to leave you like this. I will come back. I promise. Love, Cerena Dorlian
He quietly folded the letter neatly, and placed it in his pocket. He then looked at the teddy bear he had meant to give her, the bear she had left at the Peacecraft mansion. Now he wasn't so sure she left it to tell him something. Maybe she just forgot it. But now she's gone again, and I won't follow her. I can't. I have responsibilities here. I'm sure she can take care of herself. He forced himself to think those words, not believing one of them for an instant. It wasn't that she couldn't take care of herself, he knew she could, but he wanted to take care of her. He wanted to be there, and now that he could be, she wasn't.
Aishiteru, Cerena. he thought, and then turned to go inside.
"She left, didn't she?" Emily was standing there, watching him from the shadow of a tree.
Chris nodded, unable to say anything, unwilling to comment.
"She doesn't deserve you. I know you love her, but how much pain has she caused you? How much more pain will she make you feel?" Emily emerald eyes flashed in anger. "She hurt you. We may be enemies, Angel, but we are also friends, Chris." she stepped out into the sun, and looked straight at him. "When she hurts you, she hurts me."
"You shouldn't be my friend. You are a Demon. I, an Angel. We'll only hurt each other if we remain friends. But that never stopped us. Why should it stop me and Cerena?" he countered. "She wants some time to think things out. She has all the time in the world." He turned to leave, but as he walked by her, she grabbed his hand.
"Please, Chris, listen to me." her voice was pleading, she was practically begging him, "She's only gonna hurt you again, and again, and again. The same way you hurt her. She doesn't need time to think, she needs time to plot out how she's gonna make you pay. All she wants is revenge. Can't you see that?" she voice raised in pitch, and she held on tightly to his arm.
"No. No, I don't see that. Not at all." he said, emotionless, and removed her hands from his arm. He then stalked off, to tell Millardo that his sister has run off again.
Emily stared after him with pleading, teary eyes, that quickly became hard and cold when Chris left her sight. He still loves her too much to let her go. Has he already forgotten? I still remember. What did Dr. J do to him, that made him forget me. We used to love each other. Now we are 'just friends'. But it wasn't always that way...
She then walked towards the other door, and went inside.
Chris had to tell Zechs. It was his duty, but he didn't want to. Zechs tried to be a devoted brother, but he didn't know the first thing about being a big brother, even after living with Relena for two years. Chris knew what his sisters would feel like if he treated them like Zechs treated Relena. They'd kill him.
"Zechs-"
"What is it, Yuy?" he snapped, glaring at Heero.
"My name is Chris." he replied, softly.
"Well?" asked Zechs.
Chris couldn't bring himself to say the words, to say that his love left him again. So he dropped a piece of paper on the table. One that he found folded inside of the letter to him. This one was marked 'Millardo', so he didn't read it.
Zechs quickly opened the paper, recognizing Relena's handwriting. He scanned the paper, then read it again, slowly. He raised his eyes to Chris. "She left? Again?"
He nodded, silent. Zechs eyes filled with anger. "Why? Why didn't you stop her?"
"I didn't know until she was gone." he said, his voice taking on a quality Zechs had never heard in his voice before. Zechs searched the boy's eyes, and saw what might have been a tear, if Chris hadn't blinked it away. "But, anyway, it's too late now. She would have made it out on her own anyway. She needs to find out who she is."
"I know who she is!" Zechs yelled, standing up. "She is a Princess of Sank, and she has responsibilities!"
Chris was unfazed. "You are a Prince of Sank. Crown Prince, at that. You have responsibilities. That never stopped you from running off."
Zechs stopped, frozen in place. He was right. Chris continued, not missing a beat.
"You ran off, and left her alone when you were children."
"I had to...I had to fight..." Zechs tried to defend himself.
"I thought you were a pacifist."
"I...I'm not." he said with sudden certainty. "I am my own person, not my father's clone. I don't share his ideals."
"And, because you are not your father's clone, you forced Relena to be. What if she never wanted to be a pacifist? What if she wants to be different too?"
"She loves peace, she told me that herself."
"Was she telling you that, or telling the world that? Was she telling you the truth, or just telling you what you wanted to hear?"
'"She...she...I..." he stuttered, beaten.
"She didn't know who she was. You never gave her a chance to find out. Because you never gave her the chance, she took it. She was never your little sister, she was just a tool, a figurehead. You never loved her, you just used her."
With that, Chris turned on his heel, and left.
Did I...did I do that to her? I...I'm sorry, little sister...I'm so sorry.
How can a man four years older than me be so stupid? Chris asked himself. He walked into the boys' room, and dropped onto his bed. He closed his eyes, and covered his head with his pillow.
What if...what if Em was right? What if Cerena just wants to hurt me? What if I love Relena, but Cerena doesn't love me. She just wants revenge. No, that can't be true. She swore she loved me. She swore. He knew, in his mind, that Cerena loved him, and everything she said in the letter was true. But, his heart could not read, it could only hear her crying, and her footsteps as she ran away from him. And, it could hear Em's words, which seemed to ring so true. Why can't I even convince myself that she still loves me?
Why does an angel have to go through such pain.
After a while, he fell asleep, holding Relena's teddy bear, a single tear rolling down his face.
Ahhhh!! Sad!! Broken hearts!!! Em loves Heero, Heero loves Relena, Relena loves Heero. Ahhh!! Love triangle!! Noooo!!!!! What have I done?!?! Must....make...everything....all...better....Must....fix.... But how can I make everyone happy? Em still loves Chris!! Ahhh!!!
Oh, and Mariemaia is not on Em's side, she is just a close friend, who doesn't want Heero to be hurt anymore, without reason. I just didn't think I made that clear enough up in the story. I like Marie! I won't make her a bad person.
-Ayanami_Chan
ayanami_rei@softhome.net
