Chapter 3:"Born to Be Wild"!
Harry lay awake trying to think of what to do...
All his life he had been taught the same basic rules.
Normal people= good
Wild people= bad
Wasn't that what he was supposed to be living by? He was no longer 3 and living with the Dursleys. They had considered him wild or abnormal, but that just wasn't the point. There were different situations, and different situations called for different rules. Times had changed. Wild was good. Wild was what was going to win him Cho.
Harry stood up and grabbed his coat, and crept down to the art supply closet, he searched for what he would need. Dye. Wait, they didn't have dye. He needed a substitute... he frantically searched the room, until he came upon something that might do the trick...
Highlighter pens.
They'd have to do. He grabbed some metalic purple paint for good measure, and sank against the wall, wondering what else he would need.
Scissors? No, it's hard to shave one's head with scissors. What about an electric razor? That was a must. Dumbledore might have one. How else would he keep his long, silvery beard so neat and trim? And he should keep one in his office, where he spends his personal time. And I'm sure he wouldn't trim his beard in public...
Harry tiptoed down the hallway, every heartbeat and footstep far too loud for his liking. Finally, he reached the stone gargoyle guarding his office. When Harry said the secret password, it would jump to life and move aside, letting him access to the staircase which would lead to Dumbledore's office. Most entrances in Hogwarts were hidden, even portrait holes leading to a house common room.
Harry whispered to the gargoyle "Sherbert Lemon." This was a password to the hidden staircase to Dumbledore's office-at least, it had been two years ago. The gargoyle didn't budge. "Darn," Harry thought to himself. "How am I going to get in if I don't know the password?"
"Need help?" was a voice lurking nearby said to him. Harry jumped and almost screamed, but caught himself. Harry looked behind the gargoyle where none other then our Masked Bandit of Truth had decided to take refuge from the Slytherin's.
"Rob? Thank goodness it's you! I could have sworn it was Filch for a second, patrolling the grounds. Can you help me? I have to get in there." Harry said softly.
"Eh, okay sure. Hang on, I'll go through the wall and come out to open it from the inside." Rob said, and he walked through the wall as if it wasn't there. Almost instantly, the gargoyle seemed to wake up and jumped aside, a wall opened, and Rob walked through the gap. "Ta da!" He said triumphantly.
"Thanks a bunch, Rob." Harry said and walked through the opening.
Ahead of them was a spiral stone staircase, which moved slowly upward as the doors closed behind them, taking him up to a polished oak door with a brass door knocker.
Harry tentatively opened the door and peered inside. It was a very beautiful circular room, lined with pictures of previous headmasters and headmistresses of Hogwarts, all of whom were fast asleep, their chests rising and falling softly. Fawkes, Professor Dumbledore's phoenix, was standing on his golden perch beside the door. The size of a swan, with magnificent scarlet-and-gold plumage, slept on with the photographs. There was a chair in front of Dumbledore's desk. Harry looked at the walls behind the desk. The patched and ragged Sorting Hat was standing on a shelf. The glass case next to it held a stunning silver sword with large rubies into the hilt, which Harry remembered had once belonged to Godric Gryffindor, founder of Harry's House. Behind the chair was a black cabinet, the one that had held Dumbledore's Pensieve, the one he had onced explored. Harry went to the desk and began searching through it's many drawers. Rob glided swiftly to the chair in front of the desk and sat down.
"Hey... whatcha doing up? It's almost 3:30." Rob wearily shifted his body so he at least looked alert.
"I could ask you the very same," said Harry, growing nervous.
"As did I."
"As I shall."
"Ah, touche." Rob began to doze in the chair, and Harry resumed searching the drawer's of Albus Dumbledore's desk.
"What are you doing? Some people are trying to sleep."
"Looking for an electric razor."
"Oh right, I already know. X-ray vision. 3rd drawer on the right."
"Thanks." Harry grabbed his prize and was about to run off when Rob called to him.
"What exactly are you doing?" he asked again.
"Shut up."
"Don't bother. I can read minds. I already know." Rob laughed.
"Right, so shut up."
"I know that Cho finds leather sexy... let me help."
"No. Go away..." Harry thought for a moment. "And shut up."
"I'll tell Dumbledore," he said in a wavy singsong voice. "Someone's record isn't per-fect."
"Fine. You help. But shut up. I want this to be a surprise."
Rob smiled. "I will."
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Ron tossed and turned in his bed, jamming a pillow to his ears. He had a supurb sense of hearing, he could tell in the common room there was a razor going off... Ron threw a pillow to the ground angrily and went to give that person a piece of his mind.
He marched down to the common room and saw...
Harry, standing around in leather pants and jacket getting his head shaved into a buzz cut by a dead guy.
Ron screamed. Rob clasped his non-existant hand around the boy's nouth, which naturally didn't work.
"Ron! Be quiet! You'll cause commotion!" warned Harry.
Ron started to stutter. "Commotion? COMMOTION?! You're... you're standing around in my old Halloween costume at 4 AM getting a haircut by... by a dead man..."
"Ghost," Rob corrected.
"A ghost in a trenchcoat and I shouldn't be surprised?" he finished.
Harry turned around, revealing he had painted his scar a shiney purple.
"So? You're sleepwalking in Percy's old jimjams," he sneered.
"Look, I know how you wanted to impress Cho, but this is going way. *Too* far, ya hear me Harry?"
"Go away. We don't need you here." Rob pointed to the door, and Ron stomped off to bed in fury, where he lay awake for the rest of the night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Potions was a class conducted in a dark dungeon with a cruel teacher, Professor Snape. The Gryffindors and the Slytherins came together to learn, or perhaps fight. Coincidently, Harry and Malfoy had this as their first class of the day.
Snape walked in the class room and announced "Here are all the ingredients needed for todays lesson. Get them out immeadiately as I write them on the board." He turned to to the blackboard, but turned back again and said, "Oh, I almost forgot. Miss Cho Chang from Ravenclaw will be joining us for the rest of the week. Somehow, her scheduel was changed. I don't know how... Anyway, I hope you will all make her feel welcome." Then, he continued writing instructions on the board.
Malfoy mingled next to Cho, trying to make conversation.
"So, enjoying Potions so far?"
"It hasn't started yet."
"Yeah, real interesting lesson," Malfoy remarked sarcastically. Cho giggled.
"Born to Be Wild" began to play out of nowhere, and it set the stage for Harry Potter- new and improved version!- to enter.
His hair had been cut, "WyLdE tHaNg" shaved into the back, colored with yellow highlighter. He had on dark sun glasses, a leather jacket and pants, and the clanks from his heavy boots mixed well with the jingles that came from the gold chain that jingled when he walked (compliments of Rob).
All jaws dropped.
Except, of course, for Cho's. Her lips were fixed in an impressed smile.
Harry removed his glasses in a tough, street savvy gesture and uttered "Wut up dawg?"
Several people nearly had heart attacks.
Harry walked to the table and slumped down into a chair. The students sitting in the surrounding chairs moved as soon as he sat down. Cho took that opportunity to scoot next to him.
"So, uh, Harry.."
"Homie H," he corrected.
"Homie H. Love the look." Her voice was high and flirtatious.
"It be fresh and hip, yo."
"Yeah. I was thinking about getting a leather jacket, but their expensive."
"Word."
"But it's wrong to kill animals."
"Word."
"I feel like I'm talking to a wall."
"Word."
She poked him with a quill to make sure he was indeed, still functioning. At least his body was.
Snape turned around again, ready to start the day's lecture. He saw Harry and Cho next to each other and choked on that breath.
"Wut up Homie Snape?"
"Potter?!"
"It's Homie H," said Cho, resting her hand on Homie's shoulder.
"I see..." Snape coughed. "Well, you're late, Potter." Several Slytherins snickered.
"We will begin today's lesson with a review of our last," Snape continued. Potter, can you give a brief summary of yesterday's lesson?"
The Thing That Once Was Harry stared into space. Cho nudged him. "That's you, Homie."
"Oh... We learned about all those special ingredients that go into makin' *looove* potions... PEACE!" Harry accented the word "love," and said it like Barry White.
"Oh, right on, Potter," Snape said sarcastically. The same Slytherins snickered again. "Today we will learn about how to make potions to counter act the effect of a dementor, unless Potter's too afraid to continue the lesson." Snape smiled creepily, and more Slytherins laughed.
"Word."
"What was that Potter?"
"I think he was expressing enthusiasm, Professor Snape," answered Cho.
"Oh, I wondered how I didn't guess," Snape replied sarcastically again, then continued. "As you know, a makeshift defense would be sugar. But they often don't do the trick, leaving the victim shakey for hours after."
"Word."
"Beg your pardon?" Snape looked at Cho for translation.
"He can sympathize."
Snape rolled his eyes. "Well, still, one of the prime ingredients is still sugar, but this is a much better solution, it's fact acting, and fairely easy to make, and the victim snaps back to full vigor in minutes... but if I catch anyone eating the sugar in today's lesson, there will be trouble."
"Word..."
Snape sighed. It would be a long lesson.