Chapter 4: Flirting with Disaster, Operation Seduce Malfoy
"Malfoy... Malfoy, no! Put that down! Malfoy, nooo!" Snape cried out, trying feebly to shield himself from certain doom. It was supposed to be a nice Potions lesson, an *innocent* Potions...
But it would evidently be his last.
There was a pop, and Snape waited for the pain to come. Instead there was nothing. That didn't make sense. Malfoy had combined Dragon's Blood with household baking soda, which was like mixing vinegar and baking soda, only much, much worse. The bubbles were highly acidic, and would have dissolved anything in their path. With the amount of ingrediants Malfoy have added, by all means, half of Hogwarts should be gone.
Snape opened his mouth to question, but all that came out was a confused "...eep...?"
A few brave students had emerged from their hiding places, including Homie H and Cho. "Yo, my dawg, that ain't right, word? Ya gonna blow us all to kingdome come, n'wha'm sayin? Yo?"
"Yes. I know. But instead of acidic bubbles, we have..." Malfoy reached down into the cauldron. "Flowers for the lovely lady!" He handed them to Cho, who beamed with delight. "See, normally, we'd all be dead," Malfoy explained, "But I added Italian snails to counteract the effects of the dragon's blood, and a little nutmag for good measure."
"Oh, oh, I see," answered Snape, still shaken and clutching his chest. "That's all well and good, but, uh, I think after today's little incident, we should, um, dismiss class early..."
"Really?" asked Malfoy, dissapointed. "Cuz if you had some nitroglycerin and a flamethrower, I could make this cute little teddy bear---"
"NO! Now shoo! Take some happy pills or something. I know I will," Snape added under his breath.
Harry took the extra fifteen minutes he had and went to the bathroom, where he forgot he was supposed to be acting tough and jumped up and down in anger.
"My girlfriend, my girlfriend! Cho is my girlfriend! Someone tell Malfoy to STAY AWAY FROM MY GIRLFRIEND!!!" Harry screetched, knocking over a garbage can.
"Hey, don't get your panties, uh, leather jacket in a bunch," Rob advised, materializing behind Harry. "What's the problem, girl trouble?"
"Yes. Malfoy is trying to impress Cho, the stupid showoff," Harry complained, punching the wall in rage. "I can tell it's so fake, but she can't. She even walked to her next class with him! She's like 'Ooh, Draco, you're so smart! What else do you know?'" he mimicked in a high falsetto.
*And so the plot thickens...* thought Rob with a snicker. "I think I know how to help. Women don't like players. Trust me." Rob paused to let Harry figure out the rest.
"Oh. Okay."
Rob sighed, wishing the boy would think a wee bit harder.
"So if you get Malfoy to flirt with someone else, even for a little bit, and Cho sees, she'll figure he doesn't like her anymore and she's all yours!"
"Oh cool!" Then his face fell. "But who do I get?"
"Well, I dunno, think."
"Hermoine!"
"Noo... think harder..."
"Ginny!"
"Nope."
"Ooh! Ooh! Moaning Myrtle!"
Rob slapped his forehead with his palm.
"Fluer, dude! You get Fluer!"
"Sweet!"
"No man can resist a Fluer, this I know..." he grinned mischeviously. "So at the Quidditch match, which is Ravenclaw versus Slytherin, you get Fluer to seduce Malfoy, Cho sees, and she's all yours!"
"Thanks! Fluer should be getting out of Muggle Studies right about now, I'll go ask her." Harry rushed out the door.
_____________________
"So I seduce Draco? That's it?" Fluer asked, applying sweet smelling lip gloss and gazing into a hot pink compact mirror.
"Yeah. Is he too nasty?" asked Harry, fiddling with the chains on his leather jacket.
"No way! Give me any boy and I'll flirt with him."
Fluer suddenly turned her lip into a coy pout. "It's too bad after this we can't be single anymore. Cuz you look really good in leather."
He grinned. "Word," he answered, returning to the part he was playing.
_______________
Fluer asked. It was now around sunset, about a half hour before the Quidditch Match started. The teams were on the field, doing warm ups. Rob figured they should start the plan early, before any spectators arrived. That way Cho would have a better chance of seeing Malfoy.
"Yeah. He's coming back from his exercise now," Harry glanced at the figure jogging over to the bench and unscrewing the cap from his water bottle.
"Hey Harry, how come you aren't saying "word" and stuff anymore?" asked Ron, who was supplying Harry with moral support.
"Because Cho's not around to impress," answered Harry.
"Hey Ron, does my hair look okay?
"Yeah, it looks fine. It always looks fine. That's good, cuz you look good then. Not like you ever look bad, but when your hair is framed that way, it brings out your lips. Not like you look bad if you don't, but---" Ron stuttered clumsily in a love sick voice.
"Oh Ron, you're so cute when you're confused," she patted him on the head and walked back to Malfoy.
"Ya know Harry? I think she likes me..."
________________
"So Malfoy..." Fluer positioned herself next to him. "What were those exercises you were doing?"
"Uh, throwing a ball," he answered bluntly.
"Ooh. You looked so hot with the wind whipping through your hair..." she said, her voice fluttering.
"I was quite cold, actually," he said, this time a little too bluntly.
"Oh." She shifted uncomfortably. "Do you like my jeans?" She looked down at the shorts she was wearing, so short they could practically be underwear.
"Meh."
"Did anyone ever tell you your broom brings out the color of your eyes?"
"You can tell?"
"Yes... and it's very, very sexy," she whispered, wrapping an arm around him.
"Please don't touch me."
Fluer looks around, and saw Cho was looking at them. She tightened her grip on Malfoy, who began struggling.
"No! You're scaring me!"
She grabbed on to the collar of his shirt, which held him back for a few seconds and them gave way, ripping off the whole back of his shirt.
"Aah! Madwoman! Madwoman! Ahh!" Malfoy ran around the field screaming, while Fluer hurried back up to her friends.
"Wow, look at him go," observed Rob, who had stopped by a little bit later.
"Did it work? Did she see you?" asked Harry eagerly.
"Nope. I read Cho's mind. Did you know she though it was cute to see Malfoy running around the field squealing?" he asked, thankful for his power.
"He didn't even look at me," Fluer moaned.
"It's okay Fluer, I still like you," consoled Ron. "I mean we. Wait, did I say that out loud?"
"He must have truly been in love," said Fluer. "That's why he's not affected. A Veela's power only goes so far."
Harry stared at his nemisis, running around in the field below, like a chicken with his head cut off.
"Aw, don't worry. I'm sure Malfoy is just a phase Cho will grow out of. All girls have tiny crushes, but they eventually fade away. I'm sure soon she'll realize you're much better," said Fluer.
"Yeah. I hope so."
"Malfoy... Malfoy, no! Put that down! Malfoy, nooo!" Snape cried out, trying feebly to shield himself from certain doom. It was supposed to be a nice Potions lesson, an *innocent* Potions...
But it would evidently be his last.
There was a pop, and Snape waited for the pain to come. Instead there was nothing. That didn't make sense. Malfoy had combined Dragon's Blood with household baking soda, which was like mixing vinegar and baking soda, only much, much worse. The bubbles were highly acidic, and would have dissolved anything in their path. With the amount of ingrediants Malfoy have added, by all means, half of Hogwarts should be gone.
Snape opened his mouth to question, but all that came out was a confused "...eep...?"
A few brave students had emerged from their hiding places, including Homie H and Cho. "Yo, my dawg, that ain't right, word? Ya gonna blow us all to kingdome come, n'wha'm sayin? Yo?"
"Yes. I know. But instead of acidic bubbles, we have..." Malfoy reached down into the cauldron. "Flowers for the lovely lady!" He handed them to Cho, who beamed with delight. "See, normally, we'd all be dead," Malfoy explained, "But I added Italian snails to counteract the effects of the dragon's blood, and a little nutmag for good measure."
"Oh, oh, I see," answered Snape, still shaken and clutching his chest. "That's all well and good, but, uh, I think after today's little incident, we should, um, dismiss class early..."
"Really?" asked Malfoy, dissapointed. "Cuz if you had some nitroglycerin and a flamethrower, I could make this cute little teddy bear---"
"NO! Now shoo! Take some happy pills or something. I know I will," Snape added under his breath.
Harry took the extra fifteen minutes he had and went to the bathroom, where he forgot he was supposed to be acting tough and jumped up and down in anger.
"My girlfriend, my girlfriend! Cho is my girlfriend! Someone tell Malfoy to STAY AWAY FROM MY GIRLFRIEND!!!" Harry screetched, knocking over a garbage can.
"Hey, don't get your panties, uh, leather jacket in a bunch," Rob advised, materializing behind Harry. "What's the problem, girl trouble?"
"Yes. Malfoy is trying to impress Cho, the stupid showoff," Harry complained, punching the wall in rage. "I can tell it's so fake, but she can't. She even walked to her next class with him! She's like 'Ooh, Draco, you're so smart! What else do you know?'" he mimicked in a high falsetto.
*And so the plot thickens...* thought Rob with a snicker. "I think I know how to help. Women don't like players. Trust me." Rob paused to let Harry figure out the rest.
"Oh. Okay."
Rob sighed, wishing the boy would think a wee bit harder.
"So if you get Malfoy to flirt with someone else, even for a little bit, and Cho sees, she'll figure he doesn't like her anymore and she's all yours!"
"Oh cool!" Then his face fell. "But who do I get?"
"Well, I dunno, think."
"Hermoine!"
"Noo... think harder..."
"Ginny!"
"Nope."
"Ooh! Ooh! Moaning Myrtle!"
Rob slapped his forehead with his palm.
"Fluer, dude! You get Fluer!"
"Sweet!"
"No man can resist a Fluer, this I know..." he grinned mischeviously. "So at the Quidditch match, which is Ravenclaw versus Slytherin, you get Fluer to seduce Malfoy, Cho sees, and she's all yours!"
"Thanks! Fluer should be getting out of Muggle Studies right about now, I'll go ask her." Harry rushed out the door.
_____________________
"So I seduce Draco? That's it?" Fluer asked, applying sweet smelling lip gloss and gazing into a hot pink compact mirror.
"Yeah. Is he too nasty?" asked Harry, fiddling with the chains on his leather jacket.
"No way! Give me any boy and I'll flirt with him."
Fluer suddenly turned her lip into a coy pout. "It's too bad after this we can't be single anymore. Cuz you look really good in leather."
He grinned. "Word," he answered, returning to the part he was playing.
_______________
Fluer asked. It was now around sunset, about a half hour before the Quidditch Match started. The teams were on the field, doing warm ups. Rob figured they should start the plan early, before any spectators arrived. That way Cho would have a better chance of seeing Malfoy.
"Yeah. He's coming back from his exercise now," Harry glanced at the figure jogging over to the bench and unscrewing the cap from his water bottle.
"Hey Harry, how come you aren't saying "word" and stuff anymore?" asked Ron, who was supplying Harry with moral support.
"Because Cho's not around to impress," answered Harry.
"Hey Ron, does my hair look okay?
"Yeah, it looks fine. It always looks fine. That's good, cuz you look good then. Not like you ever look bad, but when your hair is framed that way, it brings out your lips. Not like you look bad if you don't, but---" Ron stuttered clumsily in a love sick voice.
"Oh Ron, you're so cute when you're confused," she patted him on the head and walked back to Malfoy.
"Ya know Harry? I think she likes me..."
________________
"So Malfoy..." Fluer positioned herself next to him. "What were those exercises you were doing?"
"Uh, throwing a ball," he answered bluntly.
"Ooh. You looked so hot with the wind whipping through your hair..." she said, her voice fluttering.
"I was quite cold, actually," he said, this time a little too bluntly.
"Oh." She shifted uncomfortably. "Do you like my jeans?" She looked down at the shorts she was wearing, so short they could practically be underwear.
"Meh."
"Did anyone ever tell you your broom brings out the color of your eyes?"
"You can tell?"
"Yes... and it's very, very sexy," she whispered, wrapping an arm around him.
"Please don't touch me."
Fluer looks around, and saw Cho was looking at them. She tightened her grip on Malfoy, who began struggling.
"No! You're scaring me!"
She grabbed on to the collar of his shirt, which held him back for a few seconds and them gave way, ripping off the whole back of his shirt.
"Aah! Madwoman! Madwoman! Ahh!" Malfoy ran around the field screaming, while Fluer hurried back up to her friends.
"Wow, look at him go," observed Rob, who had stopped by a little bit later.
"Did it work? Did she see you?" asked Harry eagerly.
"Nope. I read Cho's mind. Did you know she though it was cute to see Malfoy running around the field squealing?" he asked, thankful for his power.
"He didn't even look at me," Fluer moaned.
"It's okay Fluer, I still like you," consoled Ron. "I mean we. Wait, did I say that out loud?"
"He must have truly been in love," said Fluer. "That's why he's not affected. A Veela's power only goes so far."
Harry stared at his nemisis, running around in the field below, like a chicken with his head cut off.
"Aw, don't worry. I'm sure Malfoy is just a phase Cho will grow out of. All girls have tiny crushes, but they eventually fade away. I'm sure soon she'll realize you're much better," said Fluer.
"Yeah. I hope so."
