Everywhere I Am, There You'll Be: Chapter 2

Everywhere I Am, There You'll Be

A CCS Fanfic

by SyaoranSword

Disclaimer: I do NOT own anything related to Card Captor Sakura.  CLAMP and other companies I may not know of own it all.  This is a fanfic and not part of the "official" storyline.  The story is only meant for the enjoyment of the author and any would-be readers.

Notes: Hey!  I finally got another chapter out for this.  It's more angst, so be prepared.  A thank you to everyone who reviewed my latest work, "Fortune Cookies."  You guys pushed me over the "100 review milestone"!  I forgot to do this before, but I do also want to thank everyone who responded to and/or reviewed "Why?".  Even though I told you not to submit reviews, I do appreciate them.  And to those who e-mailed me, thank you for showing me that there are those outside the U.S. who sympathize with what we went through.  Here's a personal thank you from me to you:

Red Star

Fabi-chan

Sakura Angel

Jade Tsukinomoto

Jordan Anderson

Stephanie McCoy

JadeWing

Author-chan

~*Guardress of the Stars*~

SoulSister

Cristyl Li

Earthy

It's been exactly one month since that day.  Remember my friends, this isn't over yet.  Keep praying…

~~~ (place) ~~~  =  scene change

" "  =  dialogue

[ ]  =  thoughts

( )  =  commentary

Chapter 2: A Ghostly Reunion

[I don't understand.]  A lone girl was walking home.  [Why does it have to be like this?]  Her pale hands were folded against her chest.  [She wasn't at school again today.]  Her eyes were fixed to the sidewalk.  [Will she ever be happy in this life?]  Her cheeks were stained with tears for her friend.  [She has to.  I will only be happy when she finds her happiness.]

"Tomoyo-san!"  She was too deep in thought to hear her name being called.

[I helped Li-kun find his love for her so that she could be happy, and I could always be happy for my Sakura-chan.]

"Tomoyo-san!"

[They were meant to be.  So why-]

"Tomoyo-san!"

She turned around to find Eriol running towards her.  Tomoyo faked a smile as he came to a stop in front of her.  "Hi Eriol-kun."

He gave her a sad smile as he saw streaks of light reflecting off her cheeks.  "Oh Tomoyo-san…  Here," he said, handing her a handkerchief.  "You've been crying again, haven't you?  Crying doesn't suit your beautiful face."  Tomoyo accepted it wordlessly and dried her eyes.  "A young lady like yourself also shouldn't be walking alone.  Allow me to escort you home, Tomoyo-san."

"Arigato, Eriol-kun, but I'm not going home yet."

Eriol closed his eyes as he nodded understandingly, "Then please, may I walk you to Sakura-san's house?"

She smiled her first genuine smile in nearly a week.  "Yes, you may."

They walked side-by-side, occasionally taking sidelong glances at each other.  In one moment, their eyes met, and both looked away blushing.  "Tomoyo-san," he started shakily, "I really mean it when I said I hate to see you cry.  If there is anything you wish to talk about, don't hesitate to look for me.  You know my phone number, and my door is always open to you, my dear Tomoyo-san."

Her heart warmed at his show of concern for her.  "That's very sweet of you, Eriol-kun."  She sent him another bright smile.  "I'm glad to have such a good friend as you."

He sincerely smiled back.  "And I am glad to have you too."  [But am I only a good friend to you, Tomoyo-san?]

They arrived at Sakura's house.  [Oh no!!!]  A dull, faint gray aura coming from Sakura's window caused Eriol to draw a sharp breath.

Tomoyo quickly turned to face him.  "Eriol-kun, what's wrong??"

"Tomoyo-san, stay here with Sakura.  I have to go."

"Where are you going?!  Sakura-chan needs our help!"  Her water-filled eyes threatened to spill over again.

"I'm going back to my house.  There's something I need to find out."  He took her hands in his.  "Promise that you will tell me her condition later tonight."

Tomoyo looked into his pleading gaze and nodded.  "I promise."

With that, Eriol took off as fast as he could.  [Please don't let it be what I think it is.  I've already lost my descendant.  Losing Sakura-san as well would be too much for me.]

While Tomoyo watched him disappear from sight, she heard the opening of the front door.  She turned around and was shocked at how terrible Touya looked!  His hair was a mess, his facial hair was stubbly, and from his eyes, she could tell he wasn't getting enough sleep.  "Touya-kun?!?  What happened to you?!"

"Otou-san and I have been taking care of Sakura, but he's out buying groceries right now.  Sakura… she's never been like this before.  I've tried everything."

"Onegai, Touya-kun.  Can I see her?"

"Hai."

As he led her up the stairs, Tomoyo noticed how different the atmosphere in the house was.  Her previous visits to the quaint yellow house were bright and cheerful, mainly due to its occupant who shared those traits.  The only other time she came to Sakura's home like this was when Li left for Hong Kong.  [It will be harder this time.  Now she knows that he is not coming back.]

They reached the top of the stairs, and Touya knocked softly on his sister's door.  "Sakura… Tomoyo-chan is here to see you."

Footsteps were heard coming from the room before the door was opened.  At first Tomoyo thought Touya was a wreck, but Sakura was almost unrecognizable.  The brilliant shine of her eyes was replaced by an unsightly redness, her beautiful hair was in complete disarray, and she still wore her mourning clothes.  Tomoyo wanted to cry for her, but she knew that if she did, it wouldn't help Sakura at all.  Her friend needed her, and Tomoyo had to be strong.

"Tomoyo-chan…" Sakura said almost inaudibly.  "Please come in."  She stepped out of the way to let Tomoyo enter.

"Kaijuu, call me if you need anything."

"Hai onii-chan," she said as she closed her door.

Touya sighed.  [She didn't react when I called her 'kaijuu'.]

Tomoyo sat in the chair by Sakura's desk.  She felt helpless watching her friend curled up in a fetal position on her bed.  Sakura's room was mostly the same as she had remembered it except for one thing.  The pile of stuffed animals she kept had been separated.  In the empty space, Sakura had set up a remembrance shrine for Syaoran.  On either side was a framed picture.  The one to the left was Syaoran showing his rare smile, and the right was a picture of Sakura and Syaoran together and hugging each other lovingly.  In the center was 'Syaoran' the bear (the bear she kept) and 'Sakura' the bear (the bear she retrieved from Syaoran's apartment).  Around their respective necks were Syaoran's amulet and Sakura's star key.  Lighted candles formed a semicircle behind the arrangement.

Kero had come out of his drawer when Tomoyo arrived.  It hurt him too much to see his mistress in her suffering day and night.  "She's been like this everyday," he whispered to her.   He shook his little head.  "I'd take back everything I said and did to that kid if he could come back and make her happy."

"Kero-chan, when did she make the shrine?"

"Right after she came back from the funeral."  The little guardian sighed.  "Her brother and I have tried everything to help her."  He pleaded, "You're the closest friend she has left.  Please try to cheer her up.  The cards and I are affected by her depression."

"I'll try," she reassured Kero.  "Sakura-chan?"  No response.  "Sakura-chan, do you want to talk about it?"  Still no response.  "Onegai Sakura-chan, I want to help you.  Talk to me, your best friend."

"It's terrible, Tomoyo-chan," came the reply muffled by pillows.  "I still miss him."

"I miss him too, and so does everyone else."

"It's not the same."  Sakura lifted her head to reveal fresh tears.  "I know he's gone, but I still feel him.  It's like he hasn't left me."  She dropped her head back down and sobbed.  "I think I'm going crazy."

"You feel that way because he is in your heart and always will be, but you can't go on like this, Sakura-chan.  You need to let him go."

Sakura suddenly stopped sobbing.  (Gyah!  Unintentional alliteration!!)  She looked to Tomoyo and simply said, "I can't."

Tomoyo looked at her questioningly.  "You can't?!  What do you mean you can't?"

"I can't let him go, Tomoyo-chan.  I've tried, but he's too much a part of me.  I don't want to forget him."

"I'm not asking you to forget him.  You will never be able to forget Li-kun, but he can't be your focus for the rest of your life."

"It's not fair Tomoyo-chan.  IT'S NOT FAIR!!!"

"Sakura-chan…"

"I was supposed to marry him and have his children.  Now that will never happen… and it's all my damn fault!"

Tomoyo winced as she had never heard her best friend curse before.  "Onegai Sakura-chan.  I suffer when you do.  Everyone does.  It breaks my heart seeing you like this."

"Don't you get it Tomoyo-chan?  Because of me, Syaoran-kun is dead, and I have to live with it."

"That's not true."  The girls and Kero turned to the window to see Eriol sitting there.  "You're being too hard on yourself Sakura-san."

"How would you know?  I couldn't stop Maseo from taking over Syaoran-kun's body, and I killed him.  I failed to save his life.  I failed Syaoran!"

"Stop having those thoughts.  Clow-san had a difficult fight with Maseo that he barely won.  You did what Li-kun told you to do, and it was the best option.  You didn't fail him; he wanted this."

Sakura looked straight into Eriol's eyes.  He winced at her glare.  "Tell me the truth Eriol-kun.  Was there any way to save Syaoran-kun's life?"

"Even Clow-san didn't know that Maseo could possess other bodies.  So my answer is… I don't know."  Sakura turned her gaze from him.  He gripped her shoulders and made her face him again.  "Listen to me Sakura-san.  You need to get rid of these self-destructive thoughts.  I was terrified when I sensed your aura has lost its color.  Checking Clow's books at home confirmed my fears.  Your will to live is slipping away."

No one said anything for a moment until Sakura said, "Then let it be."

Tomoyo and Kero gasped.  "No Sakura-chan!  You can't die!  Your family and friends need you!"

"Sakura!  You can't leave us!  The cards and I need you!"

"I've already lost my descendant.  I don't want to lose my heir as well!  Onegai Sakura-san!"

Sakura couldn't hear their pleas.  She refused to.  All that mattered to her was letting her energy slowly drain until she could feel no more pain.  [Syaoran, we promised that we would always be together.]  She felt herself succumbing to a deep sleep.  [Please wait for me.  I'm coming.]

"Sakura stop!!"

Something within her sparked.  [Syaoran???]  Her eyes struggled to open.  She was lying on the floor and being supported by Eriol.  Tomoyo sat next to her, and Kero floated nearby.  Standing in front of them was the ethereal figure of a teenaged boy wearing the ceremonial robes of his clan in which he was buried.  His large feathery wings and a white glow around him made a surreal image.  His face was filled with worry, and his soft gaze penetrated to the soul.  Even though Sakura was incredibly weakened, she was able to utter his name.  "Syaoran…"

Eriol stared in awe.  "Li-kun…"

Kero saw him too.  "The kid…"

Tomoyo was puzzled.  She saw empty space at where they were looking.  "Li-kun is here?  Where is he?"

Eriol said, "You don't see him because you don't have magic."  He gently held her hand.  "Close your eyes Tomoyo-san."  She did as he said as he chanted.  Tomoyo felt a warmth pass from his hand and into her body.  Eriol stopped the spell and said, "Now… open your eyes and tell me what you see."

"Li-kun!"

"Tomoyo-chan, Hiirigizawa-kun, Cerberus."  He greeted each of them in turn.  Syaoran then looked to his love.  "Sakura…"  He bent down and offered his hand to her.

Sakura reached out to grasp it and was shocked to find his hand felt solid.  She was pulled up to her feet.  Tomoyo and Eriol stood up with her.  "Syaoran… you're a ghost?"

"No, ghost isn't the right word.  I'm a spirit, just like your mom."

"You've met my okaa-san?"

He nodded.  "Hai.  She's a very kind woman."  His hand went to caress her cheek.  She shivered at how real it felt.  "She reminds me of you."

Sakura was on the verge of tears again.  "I hardly knew her."

"I'm sorry."  He pulled her into a hug.  "Sakura, don't blame yourself for my death.  It had to happen.  I don't regret loving you and dying.  You shouldn't either."

"But Syaoran, I need you.  I can't live without you."

"Yes you can.  You just haven't tried yet."  He sighed as she sobbed into his shoulder.  "I want you to be happy Sakura.  Crying over me for the rest of your life isn't going to make you or me happy."  He felt her calm down after rubbing her back.  "You still have a life that can touch so many people.  Don't waste this chance."

"I don't want to forget you Syaoran."

"I will always be in your heart Sakura.  You will never forget me."  He gently pulled a little away from her so that she could see his face.  "There are two favors I ask of you."

"What are they?"

"Be forever happy Sakura.  You are at your best when you're happy, and you're cuter when you're happy too."  At this Sakura cracked her first smile in a week.  "Lastly, let me go Sakura."

Her smile vanished, and she clung to him.  "I don't want you to go."

"You have to.  Please do this for me, Sakura."  He cupped her chin in his hand and bent his head down to kiss her.  She melted in this passionate act.  Her arms slowly freed him until they completely separated.

"If you ever need to talk to me, just call, and I'll be there."

"No, please don't go."

"Farewell… cherry blossom."

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!"

As his form faded she could hear him echo, "Even if you can't see me, I will always be with you Ying Fa.  Be forever happy…"

Sakura fell to her knees, staring where her love was a moment ago.  The three other observers in the room were speechless.  All eyes were on Sakura, waiting to see how she would react.  They watched her turn to the shrine, pick up 'Syaoran', and hug it.  "Sakura-san, we will give you some time alone, if you want us to," Eriol said.

"Hoeee!"  She forgot that Kero, Tomoyo, and Eriol were in the room with her and was startled by the sound of his voice.  Sakura was smiling as she faced her friends.  "Thank you, but I don't want you to leave."  She stood up.  "Eriol-kun, Tomoyo-chan, would you like to stay for dinner?"

Eriol smiled as he saw that Sakura's aura was as pink as ever.  "It would be our pleasure."

Tomoyo hugged her in happiness.  "WAI!!!  Genki Sakura-chan has returned!"

Kero floated to his mistress's shoulder.  "Glad to have you back Sakura."

"Thank you so much everyone."  She looked down at the bear in her hands, and she hugged it again.  "And thank you Syaoran-kun.  I promise I won't cry over you anymore, and I'll cherish our memories."  She placed it back in her shrine.  "Let's go eat.  I'm starved!"

"You haven't eaten much in the past week.  That's why," Kero explained.

"I guess I was too depressed to eat."  She looked at what she was wearing.  "HOEEE!!  I was to depressed to even change my clothes!"

"We'll wait downstairs, so you can get yourself cleaned up."  Eriol tried to pull Tomoyo out of the room with him.

"Eriol-kun!  I'm staying here.  A celebration tonight requires a kawaii outfit for Sakura-chan!"

Everyone but Tomoyo face-faulted.  "T- Tomoyo-chan!" Sakura whined.

"As you wish my dear Tomoyo-san."  Eriol left the room and headed downstairs, where Fujitaka had just come in.

"Oh, are you a friend of Sakura-san's?"

"Yes I am.  And I am pleased to say that Sakura-san is going to be alright."

The father smiled, "That's great news!"

"Tomoyo-san is upstairs with her right now, and your daughter requested that we stay for dinner."

"I just bought plenty of food, so you're welcome to eat with us."

Eriol politely bowed to him.  "Arigato, Kinomoto-san."  He watched his other half go to the kitchen to start making dinner.  [Sakura-san is blessed to have Clow-san as her half-father.]  Eriol sat down on the couch to think about other things.  [That was a brave thing you did, my descendant.]  He smiled skyward.  [Asking her to let you go, especially when your soul is bound to hers, is very unselfish of you.  That shows you truly continue to love her.]  He sighed.  [But now I am even more in the dark about the future.]  He let his head rest in his hands.  [Especially mine…]

To be continued…

Personal note: I sometimes take a while to update because of schoolwork, but mostly because I'm careful about what I post.  IMHO, correct spelling, grammar, and overall consistency are a reflection of me, the author, and is a service to you, the reader.  For me, it takes about just as much time to type out a fic as it is to proofread it.  My current load will probably result in me getting a new chapter out every two weeks.  So please be patient with me!

There's still a lot more stuff coming up for this fic.  The next chapter is titled: Moving On.  Read and review please!