True Targets part 5
I was in bed when the door banged. I looked at the clock on Almasy's
bedstand, which I had turned towards my bed, one forty-three pm. The
banging continued. Feeling groggy, I got up.
"I'm coming!" I yelled. "Patience, please." I opened the door. A jumping
Selphie Tilmitt was behind the door.
"Squall, come quickly," she said agitatedly. "Rinoa has been hurt by a
monstrous Seifer. Seifer told her it was you had turned him into a
monster!" I looked at her trying to process the information. Tilmitt hit
the air with her fists in impatience and frustration. "Is this true?" she
asked. "Come on, Squall, let's go!" She pulled at my sleeve. I made
some weak protests that I had to wash up a little before leaving, having
fallen asleep in my clothes, but there was no stopping Tilmitt. We ran
down the sun drenched red tiled stairs of the dormitory and out into the
sunlight of Library Place.
"Where is Caraway?" I asked Tilmitt as we hurried along.
"At the emergency center, come on."
"Where did she meet Almasy?"
"He entered her room through the window last night. He was furious, he
accused her of going with you. When she denied, he got furious, hit her
and thrashed our room."
"You were there too," I asked. Selphie grew red.
"No, I was out with Irvine... to celebrate the finals," she stuttered. I
nodded to signal I thought her private affairs was her business and had
no intention of meddling with her life.
"So it was Seifer who broke into your room that night too?" she asked. I
looked at her. Tilmitt may have a bubbling and sometimes over
enthusiastic personality, but she wasn't stupid.
"Yes it was," I admitted reluctantly.
"But why didn't you tell us?" she asked.
"Let's tackle that later," I said. "I want talk with Rinoa first." The
thought that Almasy had hurt someone innocent in this business because
of his thirst for revenge made an icy rage rise in me. At the same time, I
feared having to tell Almasy's friends and most probably Dean Kramer
and Professor West what I had done. I wasn't sure if I could face that.
Tilmitt nodded and hurried on.
We crossed Library Place and walked into the warm corridor of the
emergency center. Dr. Crowton met us in the waiting room.
"How is she, Dr. Crowton?" Selphie asked with teary eyes. Dr. Crowton
patted her shoulder.
"She'll be fine. She's just a little sore. She'll be all right."
"Can we see her?" I asked. Dr. Crowton nodded.
"Go right in, there are other friends there. But don't tire her. I'll come
and throw you out in about fifteen minutes."
In the examination room, teaching assistant Trepe, Yie, Irvine and Zell
were talking with Rinoa. Rinoa looked her usual upbeat self except that
her left arm was in a sling. When Tilmitt and I entered the room, she
looked up.
"Squall!" she said. "I'm so glad you're here. I was afraid Seifer had..." I
shook my head as I approached the bench she was sitting on.
"No... no..," I muttered. "What did he do to you?" Rinoa smiled.
"Don't worry, I'll be fine. He was just very angry. I have never seen
him like that."
"How did you know it was him?" Rinoa smiled again.
"I would have recognized him no matter how changed he was. There
was no doubt it was him. He has become a ghoul, hasn't he?" I looked
down and nodded.
"He's not human any more."
"He seemed human. He was hurt and afraid."
"How can you say that?" I asked. "He has become a monster. He hurt
you."
"But something in him is still human, or he wouldn't have been that
fearful."
I didn't reply.
"Was it he who broke into the library?" she asked. I nodded.
"Yes, it was. I think maybe Almasy was searching for information about
his condition when I interrupted his search.""I knew it was him!" Dincht
yelled behind me. "I knew it!"
"Why didn't you say anything, Squall?" Trepe asked. I looked at her.
"I informed Dean Kramer and Prof. West. At that time I didn't think it
was necessary anyone else knew."
"Is there anything we can do about it?" Trepe asked. "As far as I know, I
can't recall ever having seen any reports of reversing a ghoul." Irvine
shook his head.
"I haven't seen any either and I did some reading up on ghouls last term.
I don't think it's possible."
"Are you sure?" Rinoa asked. "If there is even the slightest hope of
curing him, we have to try."
I looked down.
"I had been hoping there was a way, but I don't know."
"Poor Seifer," Selphie said.
"He has his own people now. I met a ghoul in the cemetery this morning
and he told me Seifer would be ok." Trepe looked sharply at me.
"You went to the cemetery?" I nodded.
"I thought Seifer would be there," I explained.
"That's against the parapsychology maxims, that's interfering, Squall."
"I know. I had to do it. I'm sorry."
"It seems you have done more than that," Yie interjected. "Rinoa said
Seifer told her you were responsible for his change. How can you
explain that?"
"Easy, Xu," Quistis said. "We don't know that yet. After all, Seifer
could hardly have been himself when he attacked Rinoa."
I didn't look at them, I just looked at Rinoa. Tears had begun forming in
the corners of her eyes. I had an inkling of what she was feeling and it
bothered me to no end. I had no idea how to reduce the suffering I had
started. I realized I had miscalculated everything and done something
inexcusable towards another human being out of selfish interest. There
was only one way to right that. I had to redeem myself, if not for Almasy
who would probably never be able to forgive me, then to his friends and
compatriots and to myself and my teachers, one way or the other. I
considered asking the others to leave to explain to Rinoa what had
happened. She had a right to know. But I thought the better of it and
decided to let Almasy's friends know too. They were welcome to judge
me. The sooner the better and I could concentrate on getting Almasy
back and dealing with whatever the witch was sending on us tonight.
"I'm terribly sorry, Rinoa, Selphie, Quistis, everyone," I began. "I have
done something inexcuseable and horrible. You are Almasy's friends so
I'm teling you this as explanation for what I have done to him."
I told them everything. How one person in each generation of my family
through generations had attracted the unwanted and fatal attention of
paranormal beings. How my uncle Randolph Carter was the first who
had recognized a natural ability to work interdimensional patterns and
travel to the other planes, which was most probably the reason for
attracting paranormal beings in the first place and how he had been able
to successfully cope with the attention of these beings because of his
adventurer spirit and knowledge of the preternatural. How I knew I had
been selected as the target for paranormal activity of my generation and
had therefore read and studied everything my uncle and others had
researched about the other planes to try and live with the paranormal
activity that would come. I told them how I through studies of local
history and family records had discovered Almasy was a similar herited
target, but unaware of it. That my studies into the occult had attracted the
attention of Hesper Payne and that I had used a deflect spell when I
sensed her presence to avoid her dream traps. That this had caused her to
become aware of Almasy's dream abilities instead and decide to target
him first. I told them everything and finished by describing my last
meeting with Almasy, the ghoul, Payne and the threat that was now
closing in on Arkham.
"Some story," Quistis muttered when I was finished.
"Yes," Xu said. "I need to sit down for a minute."
"My head is hurting," Selphie said.
"Unbelievable," was Irvine's comment. After a moment's silence,
Quistis suggested we go someplace to sit down to digest the information
and think things over.
"Will you be all right?" I asked, Rinoa, wondering what she made of the
story. She nodded.
"Yes I will. You go on. Maybe you can come back later and tell me what
you find out."
"We will, don't worry," Quistis said. Dr. Crowton entered the room.
"Are we finished talking?" he asked. Irvine nodded.
"We're leaving now. Thanks for letting us talk with Rinoa.
"Splendid," Dr. Crowton said and saw us out of the examination room.
In the White Hart, everyone ordered coffe or tea and we sat down at one
of the window tables. I was happy we had arrived before the supper
crowd and after the lunch crowd so the place was fairly empty.
"Quite a story," Quistis said. "I'm not sure if I have heard of anything
similar. We're all familiar with Dr. Carter's work, of course."
"You do realize Dean Kramer has to be informed about this?" Xu asked.
"About everything." I nodded.
"I know. Especially now that we have a vengeful witch on our hands."
"Whatever will she do?" Selphie asked.
"Perhaps she's planning on sending thousands of ghouls on us," Irvine
muttered.
"Look," Zell said, shaking his head. "I can't believe you are so gullible.
Look at what he's done! He's killed Seifer out of cowardice! Because of
what he did, Seifer's not going to come back, ever!" Zell got to his feet
and waved his fists in front of me. "I ought to give you a good beating
right here and now!" A wave of shame washed over me.
"Yes," Selphie said, her cheeks growing red. "He did to Seifer what he
didn't want someone to do to him, attract him a monster!" I looked
down. All the accusations I didn't want to hear now rushed at me. I had
nothing to defend myself with, because it was all true.
"I'm going to redeem myself," I stuttered. "You can believe that. We
might not get Almasy back right now, but I will see to that it happens,
somehow." Quistis patted my hand.
"We know you will. It's all right." Turning to Zell, Quistis said:
"Calm down, Zell. Seifer may be dead to us for now, but he isn't dead
to himself. He's still alive as Rinoa can attest to. For all we know,
Hesper Payne may have influenced Squall's mind long before he thought
of activating the deflect spell, which she admitted did not work. She may
have seen both of them long before Squall could sense her and set up her
plan. We just don't know with these beings. They're malevolent and
they would rather drive us crazy than simply just killing us, which they
can do most of the time but just don't."
Xu nodded.
"They like to torture humans and make them do and experience things
which will drive them mad. The best way of doing that is to make
someone do something which goes against their conscience. That ceates
a lot of guilt and self loathing which can easily be used to drive people
insane. Don't point too harshly Selphie or you might get poked back.
We're all in this together."
"Well, I'm glad I'm not in your shoes, Squall," Zell said. "Seifer's going
to have your head on a platter." There was a moment of uneasy silence.
"What will happen with Seifer now?" Selphie asked more calmly.
"He's taken in with the ghouls," I said. "They will teach him their ways,
I assume. Other than that, I'm completely out of my depth." More
uneasy silence. Irvine was the first to break it.
"Speaking of depths. You said you had been on a dream ship twice, the
last time talking to the Black Man, which the ghoul said he thought
Payne would sic on us. Maybe you could go back to that dream and
persuade him to not do as Payne says?" I shook my head.
"Not very likely," I said. "These creatures are not human. I don't think
they can be bargained with. It's all a question of power and who has the
power to force the other."
"Well," Zell said, "Maybe we have something he would want. We could
trade that for Hesper's revenge." I jerked my head up.
"That's it!" I said. "That's it! We have something to bargain with.
Nyarlathotep, the Black Man, wants revenge on my uncle. I can talk with
him, grant him his revenge. Pickman said Nyarlathotep would go to the
next in line in Carter's family."
"What will he do with you, then ?" Selphie asked. I shrugged.
"I don't know, but at least it might avoid Arkham being flattened. I don't
think we will get Almasy back, but Arkham will be safe. I have to undo
some of the wrong I have done." Quistis nodded.
"It might work, I have heard of other people dealing similarly with the
other planes. They desire humans with natural paranormal abilities for
some reason. But that will play you into the Black Man's hands. He'll
have you right where he wants you. You will have become a real target
then." I nodded.
"I know. But I don't see any other solution." Xu nodded.
"If you want to try go to sleep right now, I will inform Dean Kramer
about what is happening and Quistis and I can arrange things for tonight.
We don't know what to expect from Hesper Payne, but at least we can
prepare as well as we can. The faculaty professors should know more
about her and her methods than we do. We don't have much time so
we'd better get going."
"You inform the Dean, I'll take Squall back to the room and keep an eye
on him as he sleeps and contacts the Black Man. Selphie can go and
prepare her tricks and you and Xu can read up on what you need and
prepare for tonight," Irvine suggested and rose from his seat. I looked at
him.
"Prepare her tricks?" I asked. "What can Selphie do against Hesper?"
Zell looked at me and grinned. "There are more people here than you
and Seifer being human targets for paranormal activity. We all are, more
or less. That's why we are here." Xu nodded.
"Dean Kramer knows, so we have all gotten a lot of support from him.
That's why we have been sharing rooms and everything. We are all
inherited targets." She smiled and looked at Quistis. My mind reeled.
Maybe the others could understand what I had been feeling the last year
since knowing the paranormal activity would start up after all?
"So you know what it feels like to be a target?" I tried. Irvine put a hand
on my shoulder.
"Don't worry. We know. Being a target is scary. Many people have been
driven mad in the past, because an insane target is easier to take over by
the other beings. The only way you can try and fight being a target is to
learn as much as possible about the other planes and become used to
dealing with them."
"It's scary at first," Selphie said, "but that's why we are here, to learn
what we can and find out about the other planes so we can help others." I
felt shaken by these news.
"So maybe you won't hate me for what I did?" I asked not wanting to
guess the reply.
"We understand you were scared," Quistis said. "We know the fear of
being a target."
"Dean Kramer will maybe have to suspend you from school for a while,
but I know he won't let you go," Xu said. "Not now. Don't be afraid."
"Dean Kramer set up this program at the university after his wife became
a target and went mad on her thirtieth birthday, ten years ago. He
researched inherited targets and discovered they were usually hit in late
adolescence or in the early twenties, and formed a program to help
young targets."
"We won't hate you, we're together in this, we have to stick together,"
Selphie said. Irvine brought his fists together.
"That's right!" he said impassioned. "We're strong because we're not
single targets any more, we can pool our forces to resist the other planes.
We'll fight Hesper Payne and her monster. Let's do it."
While Quistis, Xu and Selphie went to inform Dean Kramer and prepare
for the night's attack, Irvine and Zell walked me back to the dorms. As
we climbed the stairs to third floor, Irvine grinned at me and said:
"Heh heh, let's see if we can put you to sleep now."
"No problem," Zell said. "I had to buy some opium drops last semester
because of a tooth which hurt terribly. Take a few of them in some
water and you'll sleep like a baby."
"I never thought you were... targets too," I said. I wondered how much
would have been different if I had known I wasn't alone.
"Sometimes things just happen," Irvine said. "You're not alone now at
least.
In Irvine's bed, I downed half a glass of water with three drops of Zell's
opim tincture. The mixture tasted bitterly. The window and the curtains
had been closed. A midday darkness, more shadows than night,
dominated the room.
"So when should we wake you up," Irvine asked sitting on the opposite
bed. "When you start drowning again?" He grinned at me, obviously
remembering the scene in the library. I shook my head.
"I didn't drown last time because I was prepared for what happened.
Wake me when you see my hair is wet and I'm really cold. That means
I'm off the boat and in the sea."
"Sure thing, when your hair is wet and you're cold. Got it." At the other
end of the room, Zell switched off the overhead light.
"How long time do you assume it will take before that happens?" he
asked. "So we can keep an eye on the clock."
"I don't know. Time seems to stand still in there, but the other times I
noticed I was never asleep for long. I think I need to fall asleep first and
that can take some time. But maybe not more than fifteen minutes after
I'm really gone." Irvine nodded.
"Got it. We'll keep watch. You go to sleep. And good luck."
"Thanks," I said and closed my eyes.
I hadn't expected to fall asleep, but the tincture must have been stronger
than I thought. Soon, the sound of creaking wood reached my ears,
signaling I was back at the ship with the lemon colored sails.
The same events as previously happened. I conversed with the other
passengers, was informed that the ship was bound for the city of Leng. I
managed to confirm that most of the other passengers were indeed
merchants and tradesmen on their way to Leng to sell various goods and
buy Leng's speciality, rare gems and crystals. The days went slowly by.
As in the other dreams, time didn't seem to matter and I had no way of
judging how many days passed from entering the dream. But something
was changed. The Black Man did not appear like last time, although all
the other passengers I could remember were there. Consequently, I
received no eft flute and saw no lamp efts in the evenings, despite being
on the lookout for them.
Many days I wondered what was happening in the waking world and at
those times, I feared that my compatriots hadn't managed to inform the
faculty about Payne and that something bad had happened. As the days
went on, I found myself more and more agitated and impatient. I began
pacing the deck, worrying about what was going on in the real world,
worrying why the Dark Man wasn't showing and worrying about
whether I had to stay in the dream world forever. The trip seemed to
have lasted three times as long as the previous ones. I waited for a storm
that never came. The sky was an eternal blue and the ocean flat as a
mirror.
After a while, the agitated worry turned to dull acceptance. I did nothing
but lay in my bunk in the passenger's quarters and stare into the bunk
above. I had lost all hope of seeing my friends, the university and my
family again. I was trapped in a dream which now had turned into a
nightmare of boredom. Some of my fellow passengers tried to cheer me
up, but I chased them away with harsh words and belief that no one
could understand my plight. I became more and more convinced the
dream would continue in all eternity. Then one day the thought hit me
through the haze of depression and dejection I was in: Irvine and Zell
had promised to wake me up when my hair got wet and my skin turned
cold. That meant in order to be woken up, I had to do something which
got me cold and wet. There was no water except for drinking water on
board and I assumed simply getting water in my face wouldn't work. It
would have to be the ocean. The more I thought about it, the better the
idea seemed. If something had gone wrong on the other side, I would
rather return to the waking world and perish with my friends than sit
forever on a dream ship never knowing what happened.
One afternoon, I had made my decision. I didn't care, it was either the
ocean and drowning or waking up and find out what happened. I ran out
onto the deck and climbed over the railing. Before anyone could stop
me, I had thrown myself into the water. To prevent anyone from seeing
me and jumping after, I immediately dove and hoped I would begin to
sink quickly.
The descent was slow, much slower than last time. I was worried I had
made a foolish mistake and would not be able to return to the waking
world without the right sequence of events and that I would drown for
real inside the dream. But as the ocean started becoming dark, a face
floated in front of my vision.
"No, no, jumping overboard before the storm is cheating."
"Nyarlathotep," I said. The black face smiled and revealed a row of
perfect, small white teeth.
"At your service Mr. Carter. It is boundlessly good to see you again.
What can I do you for this time ?"
"Trade me for whatever Hesper Payne is sending to Arkham. I know you
can stop her." The Black Man looked at me.
"Mmmm, I think maybe you have try better than that."
"What do you want?" I asked.
"Straight to the point, aren't we?" the Black Man leered. "Well, let me
see. I want you, not you of course, but your powers... and those of your
friends. The six children you as you say "hang out with". That'll be good
for the insult and injury your uncle brought me."
I shook my head. "I can't do that and you know it."
"Yes, that's why I want you to do it."
"No, whatever else you can take from me, but I can't give you anyone
else. I have already given you one person."
"Aah yes, thank you for reminding me. I will deal with him at a later
moment. I'm letting him get used to his life as a ghoul. For now."
Despairing, I looked at him.
"Why?" I asked. "Why? None of us has ever done you or your kind
anything. What have we done to have to be driven mad by you?" The
Black Man smiled, this time revealing a mouthful of yellow fangs.
"Why? The universe is not fair. Human beings are our prey. That's
why." He threw his head back and laughed. Then he looked at me, his
eyes wide and black. "Ponder on the meaninglessness of existence, Mr.
Carter and go mad in the process. Listen to what I have to say, the
universe is not fair. You human beings are nothing in the grand scheme
of things."
"Which you know all about, I presume," I said, trying to push the
sensation of hopelessness his words instilled in me away. The Black
Man chuckled.
"Yes I can assure you, I'm more familiar with the grand scheme than any
of you will ever be."
"There are things you and your kind will never be able to take from
humans as much as you ever try," I protested, hoping my own words
would boost my morale.
"Interesting," he smiled. "And what is that, if I may ask?"
"Love, friendship, togetherness," I replied, hoping I sounded more
confident than I felt. The black man poked me in the chest. It felt as if
my heart would to stop at his ice cold touch.
"A true believer I understand," he smirked. "And from someone who
recently sold his room mate to the devil because he didn't want to go
first. Well, looks like your attempts at keeping yourself human failed and
even speeded up your own demise. Ironic, is it not?" The black man
grinned again. "I have kept my eyes on you. You may be Carter's
nephew but you are not him. But you'll make a good substitute. It'll be
fun torturing you for the rest of eternity. You shall make a good quarry."
I had nothing to say. He was right. I had lost. In my attempt at delaying
becoming a true target, I had brought one person over the edge and only
brought myself into the hands of the hunters. I had used the same
methods of coercion of the unsuspecting and innocent which they did,
making me as much of a monster as they were. I bowed my head in
shame.
"That's better," the Black Man said. "Now we're getting somewhere."
He bowed down and whispered in my ear.
"You're down now, but I've always had high hopes for you. You're
strong but stupid. I'll get you back up again when you've said goodbye
to your pointless notions of love and friendship and joined me instead."
He made a pause as I fell down into utter despondency and hopelessness,
the hopelessness I had felt ever since realizing I was my family's
generation's target. There was no way out for me but to join those who
were hunting me. That was where I belonged. I was not human and
never had been.
In his private notes, my uncle had hypothesized that a merging between
humans and some other races had happened because the Gods deemed
these hybrids stronger and more flexible material, better servants for
their needs. The bloodlines were the targets and the investment in them
explained why they were hunted so intensely by the other side. These
children were the vanguard of a force which would enslave all of
humanity on behalf of the beings in the other planes when the time came.
But my uncle had deemed these theories too radical even for the
paranormal community and too dangerous to be studied by anyone else
and he never published and apparently never mentioned them to anyone
except for his private journal, which I had inherited from him. Now these
facts rang through my mind. I was lost and had been since birth.
"Poor boy," The Black Man chuckled above me. "I know what you're
thinking and you're absolutely right. There is no use in resisting. Come
home and everything will be good again. Come with me." I looked up at
him.
"Please let me do one thing for my friends," I asked. "Let me banish
Payne's scourge on Arkham so I'll know my friends are safe. Then I'll
come with you." The Black Man smiled.
"Very well. Since it will be so sweet having Mr. Carter's next of kin at
my command, I shall grant you your wish. Look at this pattern." A
pattern in the shape of a pentagram with a flaming eye in the middle
burned before my eyes. "Memorize the frequency and range with care,"
The Black Man said. "This mark will banish everything and anything
Hesper will send in your way. With your modern inventions, let me
suggest you etch the mark in some bullets and use them against Hesper's
madness. She is bound to summon something big enough for even your
friend Irvine to hit with his gun." I nodded.
"I will remember it," I said. "Thank you." The Black Man nodded and
smiled.
"Go back and perform your useless magic. I will come for you when it is
over."
The cold water melted away. I fell into dark space...
