Filk! The Bombitty of... Voldemort?

File 13 Note:
Ack, see disclaimer for disclaiming. Please note it and the author's note were written months ago. Mid last year, even. I don't know if the MP3 I was talking about is still distributed. Enjoy.

Summary: Rap of You-Know-Who's past. How low will I go? I'm a poet and I didn't even know it! How now brown cow? Okay, I'll shut up now. You can see why this one wasn't finish: it's incredibly difficult to work with.

Due to the extremely strong response from 'The Original Marauders' that I'd try another filk. This 'song' isn't nearly as known, though. It's the prologue to a broadway play called 'The Bombitty of Errors" (which is a hip hop version of Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.) Yes, it is available on Napster, and the play was absolutely hilarious, and was the highlight of my trip to New York.(Note: Antipholes of Syracuse had really great abbs) Anyways, this is my version. Instead of the rap being about the conditions of Shakespeare's characters births, it's about Voldemort.

Disclaimer: I used Nemesis' I am Lord Voldemort fic as a reference to Voldemort's past. Mostly for names, places. It was truly a well written piece, and I hope that no one minds my using it as reference. Also, the tune does long to the Bombitty crew, their names I do not know.

I hereby dedicate this to the following:
Nemesis, I mean, I would have written a story about Tom Marvalo Riddle if you hadn't made yours so good.
Firebolt7, because she's reviewed all my stories, or just about, and is always there for a chat when I'm poking my eyes out in boredom.

Many years ago
In Hangleton Little:
Salamair fell in love
With a man named Riddle.
Now our Thomas Riddle
A man with rich folks,
Never never knew anything
About magic, hocus pocus.
Thomas Riddle thought that women were fine.
Take them out for a meal, and bring them home on time.
About what was there to whine?
He was just so kind,
When he broke it off, he'd be so sweet you couldn't mind.
He was just the man all the village girls were dreaming,
That Maria Salamair had them screaming.
Now Maria and Thomas meshed when they first met-
For tea, that is.
Before long they became set-
Steady, that is.
And that ring that she was sporting...
A rock that big, it HAD to be zirconium.
Now Big Tom was scoring , the wedding plans set:
Ivory gowns, golden rings and honey moons were met,
~
Trying to make the bank to secure his kid's future,
Buy new dresses for Betty, that would suit her.
Cause she was growing larger, wider every minute.
She would look down at her belly wonderin' what's in it?
Four months later in a downtown hospital,
Betty gave birth to what was then imposible.
Quadruplets, four baby boys
I said four (what?) beautiful bundles of joy.
Now MCE had been prepared financially
For one little kid, so when they came out sequentially,
One then tow, then three then four,
His heart skipped a beat and he amost hit the floor.
There were two sets of identical twins born at once,
Two big healthy boys and two little runts.
Now MCE had never been good choosing names
So without much thought, he named two pairs the same.
One he named antipholes, the other Dromeo
The next he named antipholes and then another Dromeo.
In the next few years times were very rough.
When it came down to money he never had enough.
Four times as many cradles
And four pacifier!
Four times as many bottles,
And mounds of dirty diapers.
MCE was losing it, his bank account was tapped,
A negative vible flowed through every rap
His vocab was all sapped and his concerts always stunk,
He didn't have the energy to ressuect the funk,
So he started selling skunk, you know, jeeber, weed,
Just to try to get by, to give his family what they need
He took heed to sell it only to the heads he trusted
But it wasn't too long before MCE got busted.
Locked up, that is, in the local penetentury
Leaving Betty alone with the kinds unitentionally.
Essentially, the family was in a state of crisis
dad, broken, burdened by the system's many vices
The choices: To try an survive and pray sanity
Or offer the children to a foster family.
They apted for the latter and with sadness and bravery
Betty drove the kids to the adoption agency.
MCE's rapstyle had been changing while in prison:
A frighten less, enlightened, vision had arissen
His descision to give away his children had undone him,
And the guilt inside had swallowed pride and over run it.
One day in his cell he put his head down and cried,
Dropped a pill of sionide
And commited suicide
Betty learned that he died
The very next day, and as tragedy would have it,
he died the same...
Meanwhile,
The children at the tender age of two
Were separated from each other: sad but true.
One Dromeo and one Antipholes
Were brought up in the fine city of Ephasis
To young to understand,
And too young to choose,
The other two was raised in the town of Syracuse!
And as the brothers grew up on opposite coasts,
one day they were visited by their father's ghost:
And he told his sons of their hip hop history,
And said in a voice that was filled with mystery:
One day you will find your missing link
When you looked in the mirror and you see yourself think.
The ghost dissappeared
And their life proceeded
Each young man made a vow that they needed
To live up to their father's MC Legacy
To be the best MC that the world would ever see.
The two Antipholi, the bigger of the family
Made the smaller Dromeos be their back up MCs
And so it was the Dromeos who were treated like crap crap
Avissing backup on Antiphole's rap rap.
They grew up living in a world of hip hop,
Surrounded by the one two, surrounded by the one two, surrounded by the one two three
And you dont-
Stop.
Thus ends the prologue and comes the beginning
So welcome to a new world that you'd never been in.