Finding a new job hadn't been easy. It meant the lowering of a few standards and the pretense that he had lost faith in his new age fantasies about aliens being responsible for the Pyramids of Giza. The job he finally found wasn't much in comparison to working for the SGC. It was a teaching post with an emphasis on Wallace Budge as god and anything alternative as heresy. Daniel had swallowed his pride and accepted. He had been given a new chance and ignoring the urge to shout 'ALIENS DID BUILD THE PYRAMIDS' was a small price to pay. Even if didn't feel that way.
Daniel had the security of a new job. His savings still remained untouched. Now he needed a new apartment. Not that Casey minded Daniel staying forever.
"I told you Dan... marry me. You'll be set for life. Come on, who wouldn't want to be the significant other of an attractive, well-hung doctor. Hey, if I wasn't me, I'd definitely want me," Casey shouted from the kitchen.
"You do want you. In fact, being you hasn't stopped you from wanting you in the least," Daniel said as he circled another ad in the paper.
Casey came into the room and sat down at the table, "God, you're such a smooth talker," he grinned.
Daniel sighed and looked up, "I can't believe the money some people are asking for. It's extortion. I'd be better off if I dug a hole somewhere."
"That's an archeologist thing right?" Casey frowned in thought, "Although...it could be a gay thing too."
"This isn't a joking matter," Daniel mumbled as he turned the page of his paper.
"Your fixations with holes or..."
"Casey..." Daniel snapped.
"O-kay. Sorry. Jeez, have you always been this pissy?"
Daniel closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair.
"Dan? You okay? You've been different since that lecture. It's not like you to give up on things. I thought all this stuff about the pyramids was a big deal."
"It was," Daniel mumbled, "It is."
"So what happened?" Daniel shrugged, "Guess I just didn't want to do it anymore."
"Just like that."
"You wouldn't understand."
"Is this about Nick? You worried you're going to..." Casey stopped when he saw the shocked look on Daniel's face, "What? What'd I say?"
"Uh...Nick. I never thought about...god," Daniel got up from the table.
Casey got up and moved to Daniel's side, holding his elbow, "Dan, you're kinda freakin' me out here."
"I..." Daniel closed his eyes to get a grip on himself, "I'm okay. I just realized something."
"What?"
" Nick and I had another stupid argument. He told not me to come back. I didn't go back," Daniel said absently.
"When was this? Why didn't you tell me?"
"It was before the lecture...I...didn't have the chance to tell you."
Casey looked at Daniel. He looked slightly edgy and shaken. Casey maneuvered him to the couch, pushed him down, and then fell down next to him.
"You...have been acting really weird...and I mean weird as in even weird for you."
"I'm okay. Really," Daniel put his feet up on the coffee table.
"Hey, here's an idea. Why don't you move in to the house Nick gave you? It's still empty right?"
Daniel thought for a moment. It was a great house. His mother grew up in that house. Probably, the only place that possessed any real sense of belonging for him. Nick gave it to him just months before having himself committed to the mental hospital. At the time, Daniel remembered how it seemed more like an act on Nick's part of purging himself of the guilt for not being there all those years. Daniel quite coldly remarked that giving someone a house did not miraculously bring back a life spent without those who should have cared for him. He loved his foster parents, but he spent a lot of time wanting his real grandfather to come and talk to him. To tell him things about his parents so he wouldn't forget them. Giving him the house seemed nothing more than an empty gesture.
But, things were different now. He could make up on that time instead of spending it stewing over his grandfather's fixation with supposed big giant aliens. After the things he had seen, who was he to judge? For all he knew, the Goa'uld could have had something do with the giant aliens his grandfather was obsessed with.
Nick sat stubbornly staring at the young man in front. Blue eyes would meet blue eyes every now and then only to avert each other. They did this little dance a lot. The routine was to regularly offend each other and then dance around the apology. But, no one ever apologized. Daniel had come to see Nick as unwavering in his stubbornness. But then, he himself possessed some of that stubbornness.
"Did you give your lecture?" Nick asked grumpily.
"Uh...yes. Yes I did," Daniel looked up at Nick's scrutinizing eyes.
"I am guessing they did not applaud your ideas," Nick said.
Daniel gave a tight smile, "Um...no. I'm not really sure what they thought...there was an early lunch break or something..."
Nick laughed, "Daniel. You can spend your whole life persuading people. They will not believe you. Especially, when you use the word alien."
"Actually, I never used the word alien to my recollection. My theories are that the pyramids were built by people other than those the traditionalists think built them. And, that they're perhaps much older than we think. There was no mention of the word aliens."
"So you are saying that it was not aliens?"
Daniel frowned, "No...that's not what I'm saying."
"It's all useless Daniel. I spent my whole life trying to find something that never existed. It will bring you nothing but unhappiness," Nick said sadly.
Daniel looked hard and long at Nick. He looked so defeated. This man had traveled the world and been at the center of many significant finds. He was a respected pioneer. And here he sat now unable to even believe in himself, let alone anything else.
"I did not think you would come back again," Nick looked at the floor.
"You did say you didn't want to see me again. You kicked me out as I recall Nick," Daniel couldn't help but not keep the bitterness out.
"Then why did you come back?" Nick said with a sad smile.
Daniel sighed, "I came back because...you were right. I should forget all this aliens and pyramids business. It's time to get on with my life and I didn't want to be sitting somewhere four years from now regretting not having the courage to come back and work things out."
Nick looked at the earnest look on Daniel's face, "Are things worth working out?"
Daniel smiled sadly, "Nick, you're the only family I have. I'm the only family you have. What do you think?"
Nick nodded and smiled. So much time wasted. He had never seen that inquisitive little boy grow up into the man that sat in front of him. Yet there he was the only living reminder of his daughter. So much time wasted .
"I am sorry," Nick finally said after a long silence.
"For what?"
"For not adopting you when your parents died," Nick searched Daniel's eyes for a response.
Daniel shrugged, "You were traveling all over the world."
"It wasn't your fault."
Daniel frowned, "I was 8 years old how could it be my fault..."
"I am sorry for allowing my obsession to drive me...to madness. Would you forgive me?"
Daniel stared. This was unexpected. There were no apologies. There were never apologies. Especially from Nick.
"For...give you?" Daniel barely avoided a stammer.
"For not being there when I should have. I was wrong Daniel."
"Daniel?" Nick said slightly more desperate when Daniel didn't answer, "I cannot bring those years back, but the few years I have left, I want to know you don't hate me."
"I don't," Daniel said straight away, "I never hated you. Things don't work out sometimes. It's life."
"If I could go back and change things Daniel..."
"I know," Daniel said realizing exactly how much of Nick was in him, "It's okay."
"Perhaps we can still salvage something of this. What do you say Daniel?" Nick said looking fondly at his grandson.
Daniel nodded smiling, "I'm sure of it. Actually...Nick? I have a little proposition."
The move wasn't difficult. Most of Daniel's things had lain in storage since being evicted from his apartment. These were mostly boxes of books and a few artifacts he had picked up over the years. The boxes were now laying in the middle of the living room of Daniel's new home. A suburban house that still had the lingering elements of the décor of his grandparent's era. Dark wooden flooring and furniture. Deep rich rugs. It was all very plush. The way his grandmother had wanted according to Nick. The house was littered with artifacts that belonged to Nick and Daniel's grandmother. There were even some items that belonged to his parents. Things that Daniel inherited but never took charge of.
"Here, it's the last one," Casey placed another large cardboard box on the coffee table.
Daniel looked up from the box he was sifting through, "Oh. Great, thanks."
Casey took a deep breath and then fell face first on the couch with a large groan.
Daniel smiled at the overacting and attention seeking friend of his, "Tired?"
"Beat. What d'you have in those boxes anyway? Rocks?"
Daniel frowned as a flash from fleeting memories appeared, "Artifacts," he said quietly, "they're called artifacts."
Casey turned over and stretched, "Hey, this is a great place Dan."
Daniel put his book down and went to sit on the arm of the couch, "It is. I can't remember ever being here before, but I feel like I have been. Feels good."
"Yeah? Well, I'm glad it worked out, even if it means you turning your back on me and leaving me in that cold lonely apartment on my own," Casey sighed dramatically.
"Alone? I don't think so. You get more traffic through there than the world's busiest airports."
Casey grinned and threw a cushion at Daniel. Daniel caught it and stuffed it into the corner. Casey sat up and pulled Daniel on the couch next to him.
"You know, it was kind of nice having you around. I'm gonna miss the smell of coffee all over my place."
"I'm moving out Casey, I'm not moving to a different planet," Daniel leaned back and looked at Casey who was being uncharacteristically soft.
"I dunno. Been feeling weird since you took that nose-dive at your lecture. Remember that argument we had? I was sure we wouldn't see each other again. It was like this really weird feeling. Then I got a call from the hospital and there you were looking as though you'd dropped from the sky or somethin'. It felt so..."
"Weird..." Daniel said.
Casey nodded, "Yeah...weird."
They both sat silently for a while, just staring ahead. Casey was still pondering the sudden change in Daniel. They had met through a mutual friend and almost had a fling. But things somehow never progressed further than friendship. Eventually, the mutual friend disappeared, but he and Daniel had remained ever close. If there was one thing Casey was sure of about Daniel, it was the fact that his theories on the pyramids meant everything to him. All his time was invested finding the answers. And, he knew no one cared for his answers. He knew the academia world ridiculed him behind his back, but he didn't care. He had something to believe in and that was a whole lot more than what a lot of other people had.
As for Daniel. He sat there thinking about the turn of events in his life. He was beginning to wonder if the Stargate had ever happened. If Jack, Sam, Teal'c, and Sha're had ever existed. He wondered if it wasn't just a dream. Some elaborate dream that arose from his own desires. What he knew for sure was that he wanted to see where his life would go from here. He and Casey were talking. He and Nick were talking. He had a steady job and now a place to live. Everything was on the up. Wasn't it? This was what he wanted wasn't it? If it was, then why was he constantly dreaming of the long corridors of the SGC. Of the Stargate coming to life. The wormhole like a long tunnel of noise. And Jack. Jack strolling down a corridor. Jack grinning at his own jokes. Jack in the utility room holding him as he suffered the effects of withdrawal. It was all gone. By his choice. It may have been painful, but at least it wasn't as painful as carrying around Sha're's death.
"Hey," Casey nudged Daniel, "You're doing it again."
"Doing what?"
"Day dreaming."
"Oh. Yeah. Sorry."
Casey smiled at Daniel and got up, "I'm going."
"Oh...do you have to? Stick around a while," Daniel got up after Casey.
"Got things to take care of. Going out tonight," he grinned.
Daniel smiled, "Right."
"Hey, I got an idea. Why don't you come along?"
Daniel shrugged, "I dunno Casey, I'm not into bars and stuff."
"Oh come on! I know you. You'll be full of 'we'll do lunch' and let's have a drink and then you'll forget. Hey you owe me buddy. I'm picking you up tonight. You better be ready," Casey gave Daniel a gentle poke in the chest.
Daniel followed Casey to the door still protesting, "Casey...."
"I don't care, I'm coming. If you're not ready I'm gonna sit there reading one of your boring books and make you feel bad for me," Casey said smiling ear to ear as he reached the door. He put his hand out to open but was suddenly stopped. Daniel had his hand on Casey's arm and slowly pulled him around. Casey frowned, surprised. Daniel was staring at him so earnestly. It still wasn't the look Casey hoped to see, but it was wonderful to behold all the same.
"What?" Casey said softly.
Daniel stepped forward and slung his arm over Casey's shoulder, holding him in a tight warm embrace. He pulled away and patted Casey's shoulder.
"Okay...what was that?" Casey absently stroked the gray material of Daniel's t-shirt.
Daniel didn't know what to say. How was he meant to explain that he was reveling in the fact that his best friend was alive and well and right there in front of him.
"I'm glad...I'm just glad I guess," Daniel said laughing.
Casey nodded, "Okay he said quietly. Maybe there's hope for us then."
Daniel shrugged. He had never seen Casey in the way he knew Casey saw him. But he loved him, that much he was sure of.
Casey saw Daniel's brain was ticking over again and analyzing every aspect of existence. He leaned forward and gently kissed Daniel. He could feel Daniel smiling against his lips as Casey hooked his fingers behind Daniel's back. He pulled away and saw the smile.
"I'm gonna get to you Dan, you'll see," Casey said quietly.
Daniel nodded, "I hope so."
The door opened and they both pulled apart. Nick walked in with a newspaper in one hand a brown paper bag in the other.
"Hey Nick," Daniel said accepting the paper bag.
Nick eyed both men standing there closely and looking like guilty schoolboys. Nick gave a small chuckle and walked off towards the kitchen muttering something.
"What did he say?" Casey whispered.
Slightly blushing Daniel looked at Casey, "He said, carry on, carry on."
"Huh! Waddya know, the old are wise. Maybe we should take his advice," Casey said nonetheless breaking away and making for the door, "What's in the bag?"
Daniel held it up, "Oh. Columbian."
Casey opened the door and laughed, "Yeah, figures. Be ready Dan, I'll be by at eight."
Daniel sighed in answer and nodded.
Nick was seated at the kitchen table with the paper open in front of him when Daniel came in.
"So, you took your time," Daniel set about making the coffee.
Nick looked up from the paper with a satisfied smile on his face, "I was reacquainting myself with the neighborhood. It has been a long time. I was remembering the place your grandmother and I used to walk. It is as if she is still there."
Daniel nodded, he himself had no memory of this grandmother or much else in terms of family, but it felt good to hear Nick speak of these things. It was like the pieces of the puzzle were beginning to complete.
"How are you liking it here Daniel?" Nick said.
"Um...well, a lot actually."
"Who do you think will be angry first and leave?"
Daniel laughed, "I'm guessing you since you're temper is something I didn't inherit."
Nick laughed. Daniel forgot about the dreams for a moment and enjoyed the moment of having family once again. In his experience, you never knew how long happiness lasted.
They were heading to the bar and Casey was still in a huff. He hadn't been too pleased on seeing Daniel's idea of attire. He didn't look as though he was ready for a night out. He looked as though as he was off to give a lecture in his tweedy looking jacket and dark blue shirt. The only thing redeeming him at this point were the black jeans. Casey had suggested that Daniel complete the ensemble with a pair of corduroy pants. From that point on he had just kept up the complaining. One of the more stinging barbs had been, "No wonder you're not having sex if you're gonna dress like that. It's a bar Dan, not a lecture theatre."
Daniel had listened quietly and smiled. It was Casey being Casey. He knew he wouldn't be going home alone, so he was pissed that Daniel had dressed to repel.
It was a surreal experience being with his once dead friend. They had never made up after the fight and the next thing Daniel knew he was working for the SGC and through the friend of a friend, somehow the message of Casey's death had reached him. It had been shortly before his experience with the sarcophagus. The sarcophagus had relieved him of many things for a while. He had felt as though he belonged there, where the healing was. There was nothing for him on earth now that Casey was dead. When the withdrawal made him insane with need, and Jack so easily stepped in to hold him together, it was Casey he was crying for. It wasn't just the need for the sarcophagus, it was a million things. He needed his life back. He needed Sha're. He needed Casey to forgive him. He needed to feel home. Funny how he couldn't think of the word "home" now without thinking of Jack.
They arrived at the bar and Casey instantly began to mingle. Daniel sat with his drink unable to shake off his musings. Where was Jack now? What was Jack doing? What if Jack had taken the gun that killed Charlie and used it on himself? Daniel had never considered that before. He got up quickly to make a run for the nearest phone when a voice jerked him back on to his stool.
"Another drink?"
Daniel stared at the bartender. He was young, slim and...oriental. He stood smiling and cleaning a glass. No one seemed to be paying him attention.
"You..." Daniel said in quiet awe.
"Another drink?" he said again in that quiet lulling voice of his. Daniel was further amazed that he could even hear it above the din of the music and crowd, but his voice was as clear as bell. It was as though there was no one else there.
"No thanks," Daniel said playing along.
"You're not leaving already are you?"
"Um...it's not really my scene," Daniel said watching the other man carefully.
"You are worried?"
"You know I am. It's why you're here...right?"
The bartender smiled that gentle knowing smile, "The unknown is frightening, that is why it is the unknown. This is your life Daniel, you must live it. How the others live their lives, that is their path to choose."
Daniel sighed. He knew the man was right, but he also knew that opening that gate had changed more lives than just his. He had opened it and effectively changed the lives of many. How could he not hold himself responsible for all the things that went wrong because of him?
"Man can only act with good intention Daniel, you can not live others lives for them."
"But what if something you do gives someone their life back?"
The bartender smiled, "That is the life you wished to leave behind. This is your life now."
Daniel stared at his empty glass, missing Jack with a newfound fervor. He hadn't anticipated this.
"You can not feel the absence of which you have never experienced. The friends you pine for have nothing to do with you. This is the life you wished for. Learn what Oma teaches."
Daniel began to say something but was stopped when a hand touched his shoulder. Daniel turned to face tall man with dark hair. His unnatural tan made him look like a Baywatch extra.
"Can I buy you a drink?" he shouted over the din.
Daniel turned around and saw the bartender (as he expected) was gone. He turned back.
"Um...actually no. I'm about to leave."
"Come on, one drink," the guy smiled a set of bright white teeth.
"No thanks," Daniel swiftly got up and brushed past the man and headed away from the bar to find Casey.
Casey had rolled his eyes when Daniel had told him that he was going home, but
his early departure wasn't unexpected. Actually it was quite typical.
After leaving the bar, Daniel just walked around for a while thinking about
the same thoughts over and over again. The thought of never seeing his friends.
Never meeting Sha're. Never visiting other planets. It all sounded so bleak.
But this way, Sha're could never die. Apophis could never do what he did too
her. Of all the regrets in his life, the biggest was the turn that Sha're's
life had taken. It was all his fault. If he had never opened the gate, she would
still be alive.
"Please! Help me!"
Daniel stopped walking and looked for the source of the woman's scream. He saw
the small alleyway behind him and instantly started to walk towards it. It never
occurred to him for a moment that he wasn't surrounded by three trained soldiers
who would have their weapons pointed in anticipation of trouble.
"Hello?" Daniel called out as he walked down the alley.
"Please help me," the voice came from a woman lying on the ground in a heap,
clutching her stomach. Daniel quickly rushed over and was by her side in a second.
"What's wrong?" Daniel laid a hand on her shoulder. The woman turned over on
to her back and smiled. Daniel frowned at her.
Before Daniel could say anything, he felt something hard hit the back of his
head. The world tilted and he fell on to the recently rained on ground. A sharp
kick was deposited to his side and then he was roughly grabbed and thrown against
the wall. If it weren't for the two pairs of hands holding him up he probably
would have fallen straight to the ground again. He realized what was happening
when the third man began to rummage through his pockets.
"You could have just asked," Daniel said out of breath.
The youth was not impressed and looked at Daniel with complete malice and thought
nothing of throwing a punch at the face followed by one to the mid-section.
Daniel started to cough as the attacker continued his rummaging.
"Alex, let's go. We got his wallet," the woman spoke from somewhere behind them.
Daniel had lost his glasses from the first blow to the head, but could still
see the switchblade as the man brought it forward.
"That all you got?" the man spoke with no real emotion.
Unable to answer Daniel just nodded.
"Run out of funny stuff to say?" the man's voice was low and threatening.
Daniel looked up at the fuzzy face in front, "Yeah. I left my...joke book...at
home."
The man started to laugh and brought the knife to Daniel's throat, "You're more
stupid than you look."
"Alex! What are you doing?" the woman said nervously.
"Still feel funny?" the man growled in Daniel's face.
"You've got what you want, there's no need for this," Daniel tried to sound
as calm as possible.
"And what if I don't agree?" the man countered.
"Then I fill you full of holes," another far away voice said.
The man with the knife turned sharply to look at the source of the voice. In
the process, his knife cut slightly into Daniel's skin.
"How about you give the man his wallet back and take off. I'll pretend I didn't
see anything. Stay, and you won't be standing for long."
The attacker looked at the man at the end of the alley. He was standing in the
shadows and it was hard to tell if he really was holding a gun.
"Yeah? I say you're bluffing," the attacker said, his hold on the front of Daniel's
shirt tightening.
The man stepped out of the shadow and under the small light on the wall. The
gun became as clear as day, and it was pointed right at the attacker.
"I'm a crack shot kid, don't tempt me," the man sounding serious.
"Alex, let's go," the woman said.
"Let's go Alex, forget this man," the man to Daniel's left said, his grip loosening.
The attacker let go of Daniel and his girlfriend threw the things they had taken
on to the ground. Then as quickly, but not quick enough to display fear, they
walked down towards the other end of the alley, two of them sniggering, the
girl quiet and Alex throwing a final malicious look as they left.
Daniel slumped against the wall, a small groan escaping from his mouth. He could
hear the man running down the alley towards him.
"You okay?" the man came to stand in front, his hand on Daniel's shoulder.
"Um...I'm fine. I'm good," Daniel said just before everything seemed to spin
and he fell towards the ground. The man grabbed Daniel from under the arms and
shoved him back against the wall.
"Good, huh?" the man said laconically.
Daniel opened his mouth to speak but gave up when everything suddenly turned
black and consciousness completely slipped.
TBC
