"I think maybe his eyes did explode," said Hermione, who was beginning to feel a little freaked out. "We've got to get to the bottom of this."
"Yes, said Harry, "but first we should try and explain Fred and George's problem." Hermione glanced across the room at Fred and George Weasley, who in spite of everything, were acting normal and doing homework.
"I don't see that they have a problem," said Hermione.
"I think otherwise," said Harry. "Look at Fred's pocket." Fred's pocket was full of something...dice. Red dice were spilling over the edge of his pocket. And, more horrifying, a pair of tweezers did also.
"They got Ron and Snape!" Hermione gasped. Harry and Hermione marched over to Fred and George.
"What do you two think you're doing?" demanded Hermione.
"Why, we're helping people see better." replied George.
"Yeah, people see better with dice than eyes." "This is too gross. I'm going to Dumbledore!" exclaimed Harry. Harry marched out of the Gryffindor common room with Hermione in tow. Harry and Hermione raced down the corridors, up several staircases and finally they reached the winged boar statues in front of the blocked passageway leading up to Dumbledore's office. Harry suddenly felt very stupid, for he had long since needed to use the password to get into Dumbledore's office, and he was sure it had been changed. Suddenly Professor Snape twirled past them, though this time the marshmallow dress was gone. In its place was a loincloth with ornamental dice all over it. His dice eyes had quit revolving as well. Where Snape's left eye would normally have resided, the die had stopped on 3, and in Snape's right eye socket, the die had stopped on 5.
"Eight?" said Hermione, curiously. Suddenly a huge grin burst out on Snape's face, and he pulled out a pair of tweezers, advancing on Hermione, who screamed. Harry was beginning to feel desperate. If Hermione's eyes were removed, and she became a walking dice-eyed creep s everyone else (excepting Fred and George) had, he would be completely alone...
"Naughty horticulture!" Harry shouted, for lack of anything else to say. The winged boars came to life and moved aside.
"Odd..." said Harry, awed at his own inspiration. "HELP ME!" screamed Hermione, but it was too late... Harry could do nothing else but run up the passageway leading to his only hope. When he reached the closed door at the top of the stairs he stopped, and his hope diminished, for inside, he heard music... "Tribal Dance" by 2 Unlimited was playing, and he was worried that Dumbledore was acting as Flitwick was several floors below in the Charms classroom. Harry closed his eyes, hoping beyond hope, that Dumbledore was sane. He pushed open the door to the office, and his fears were confirmed. Dumbledore was parading around in a blinding, lacey, lime green gown. Where his eyes should have been were the dice, but they were still revolving...
"How did Fred and George manage to send someone up to attack Dumbledore?" wondered Harry to himself. "Will everyone end up dice-eyed creeps? I wonder what it's like to be mummified alive?"
"Yeah, and I've always wondered who invented liquid soap and why? But, can we please remain on the topic at hand?!"
"Right...right...sorry. What do we do?" asked Harry.
"Well, I've never read anything about revolving dice eyes before..." replied Hermione.
"So what you're saying is that we're screwed," replied Harry.
"Essentially," replied Hermione.
"WAIT! I know! Hedwig and the Angry Inch!" exclaimed Harry.
(Author's Note: Hedwig and the Angry Inch is the name of a movie that's out that I have no idea what it's about, but I felt I'd better throw it in here, since the title reminds me of a certain owl...)
"What?" exclaimed Hermione.
"No, wait! Just Hedwig! Quick, to the owlery!" exclaimed Harry, running down the hall towards the owlery while the Batman theme blasted over the soundtrack. What? What's that? This is text only? In bloody blazes, so it is...oh well, nevermind. Harry and Hermione burst into the owlery, relieved to see that whatever evil, heinous, casino-based spell that was spreading didn't work on owls. They were sitting on their posts, apparently sleeping.
"Hedwig? Hedwig?" said Harry. Harry and Hermione walked over to Hedwig's post, only to find him laying back of a little hammock, watching TV Hedwig held up a wing signaling them to be quiet. Harry and Hermione patiently waited for a commercial. It was a while before Harry realized that Hedwig was watching a DVD. Harry picked up the case.
"Hedwig and the Angry Inch," read Harry aloud. He turned to Hedwig. "You know, this movie isn't about you..."
"Eh?" squawked Hedwig, who promptly pressed the eject button and tossed the disc out the window.
"Okay, Hedwig, we need you to get this to Sirus Black, as soon as possible. No stopping for espresso like before. Besides, we gotta get you over that caffeine habit." Hermione handed Hedwig the piece of parchment. "I hope Sirus gets this in time. He's our only hope," said Hermione.
"Wait a second! Why aren't your eyes revolving dice? I thought Snape got you!" demanded Harry.
"I kicked him in the groin and ran away," replied Hermione.
"Makes sense," replied Harry.
"Harry? What are you doing in the owlery so late at night?" inquired a voice behind them.
Hermione spun around to see the speaker, and screamed. Harry pivoted, too, and saw the cause for fear.
Dumbledore, in his lacey lime green gown, had followed them, and his whirling dice had stopped. He carried a portable boom box in his right hand, and it was currently playing Eiffel 65's hit, "Blue." Dumbledore was dancing to it, waiting for a reply from Harry.
"I'm sending a letter, what else..." Harry began cautiously. The music in the boom box stopped instantly, and a chilling silence filled the room.
"About how many sentences were in the letter?" asked Dumbledore in a sinister tone Harry had never heard him use before. Knowing Dumbledore was a very powerful wizard, Harry feared that if he did not reply to this, Dumbledore might lose it and Harry's life would be in jeopardy.
"About two sentences, sir," said Harry. Dumbledore smiled a wicked smile, and stepped forward in a deathly manner.
"Harry, remember how Snape almost got me!" Hermione shrieked. "The dice in his eyes stopped, I added the numbers up and got eight, and he then tried to get my eyes!"
Harry looked at the dice in Dumbledore's eyes; the dice in both sockets had stopped revolving and landed on 1. Two. Two sentences! Harry had jeopardized his life anyway. He knew his green eyes didn't have the best vision, but he now suddenly felt very attached to them, for as Professor Dumbledore raised a pair of tweezers, Harry knew his eyes didn't stand a very good chance....
Harry, thinking quickly yelled, "Stop!" Dumbledore did just that.
Harry quickly pondered what to say next. "Hey Hermione."
"Yes, Harry?"
"I've got something to say."
"Uh-huh."
"I really like the skillful way you beat the other girls to the bride's bouquet."
"WHAT?" exclaimed Dumbledore.
"Run Hermione!" exclaimed Harry.
Hermione ran out of the owlery. Harry quickly ran and slid under Dumbledore, and Dumbledore's lime green gown and followed Hermione out of the owlery. Dumbledore remained, singing "Dammit Janet" from The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Outside of the owlery, Harry and Hermione gathered their senses. "We are in big trouble!" exclaimed Hermione.
"Yeah, I know! Dumbledore knew all the words to "Dammit Janet"!" replied Harry.
Suddenly, Harry heard footsteps racing toward them. He spun around, scared to death that he'd see yet another dice-eyed figure.... But no, he didn't see anyone at first. He turned around again to speak to Hermione.
"Harry! Look out!" Hermione screeched. Harry wheeled around to come face-to-face with a mime.
"What the..." The mime proceeded to make a number of gestures.
"I think he's trying to tell us something," said Harry.
"What is it boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well again?" The mime paid no attention.
Harry and Hermione eventually gathered that this particular mime was also an escapee from the Hogsmeade Asylum, as it then proceeded to lick the floor of the dusty hallway.
"Yes, said Harry, "but first we should try and explain Fred and George's problem." Hermione glanced across the room at Fred and George Weasley, who in spite of everything, were acting normal and doing homework.
"I don't see that they have a problem," said Hermione.
"I think otherwise," said Harry. "Look at Fred's pocket." Fred's pocket was full of something...dice. Red dice were spilling over the edge of his pocket. And, more horrifying, a pair of tweezers did also.
"They got Ron and Snape!" Hermione gasped. Harry and Hermione marched over to Fred and George.
"What do you two think you're doing?" demanded Hermione.
"Why, we're helping people see better." replied George.
"Yeah, people see better with dice than eyes." "This is too gross. I'm going to Dumbledore!" exclaimed Harry. Harry marched out of the Gryffindor common room with Hermione in tow. Harry and Hermione raced down the corridors, up several staircases and finally they reached the winged boar statues in front of the blocked passageway leading up to Dumbledore's office. Harry suddenly felt very stupid, for he had long since needed to use the password to get into Dumbledore's office, and he was sure it had been changed. Suddenly Professor Snape twirled past them, though this time the marshmallow dress was gone. In its place was a loincloth with ornamental dice all over it. His dice eyes had quit revolving as well. Where Snape's left eye would normally have resided, the die had stopped on 3, and in Snape's right eye socket, the die had stopped on 5.
"Eight?" said Hermione, curiously. Suddenly a huge grin burst out on Snape's face, and he pulled out a pair of tweezers, advancing on Hermione, who screamed. Harry was beginning to feel desperate. If Hermione's eyes were removed, and she became a walking dice-eyed creep s everyone else (excepting Fred and George) had, he would be completely alone...
"Naughty horticulture!" Harry shouted, for lack of anything else to say. The winged boars came to life and moved aside.
"Odd..." said Harry, awed at his own inspiration. "HELP ME!" screamed Hermione, but it was too late... Harry could do nothing else but run up the passageway leading to his only hope. When he reached the closed door at the top of the stairs he stopped, and his hope diminished, for inside, he heard music... "Tribal Dance" by 2 Unlimited was playing, and he was worried that Dumbledore was acting as Flitwick was several floors below in the Charms classroom. Harry closed his eyes, hoping beyond hope, that Dumbledore was sane. He pushed open the door to the office, and his fears were confirmed. Dumbledore was parading around in a blinding, lacey, lime green gown. Where his eyes should have been were the dice, but they were still revolving...
"How did Fred and George manage to send someone up to attack Dumbledore?" wondered Harry to himself. "Will everyone end up dice-eyed creeps? I wonder what it's like to be mummified alive?"
"Yeah, and I've always wondered who invented liquid soap and why? But, can we please remain on the topic at hand?!"
"Right...right...sorry. What do we do?" asked Harry.
"Well, I've never read anything about revolving dice eyes before..." replied Hermione.
"So what you're saying is that we're screwed," replied Harry.
"Essentially," replied Hermione.
"WAIT! I know! Hedwig and the Angry Inch!" exclaimed Harry.
(Author's Note: Hedwig and the Angry Inch is the name of a movie that's out that I have no idea what it's about, but I felt I'd better throw it in here, since the title reminds me of a certain owl...)
"What?" exclaimed Hermione.
"No, wait! Just Hedwig! Quick, to the owlery!" exclaimed Harry, running down the hall towards the owlery while the Batman theme blasted over the soundtrack. What? What's that? This is text only? In bloody blazes, so it is...oh well, nevermind. Harry and Hermione burst into the owlery, relieved to see that whatever evil, heinous, casino-based spell that was spreading didn't work on owls. They were sitting on their posts, apparently sleeping.
"Hedwig? Hedwig?" said Harry. Harry and Hermione walked over to Hedwig's post, only to find him laying back of a little hammock, watching TV Hedwig held up a wing signaling them to be quiet. Harry and Hermione patiently waited for a commercial. It was a while before Harry realized that Hedwig was watching a DVD. Harry picked up the case.
"Hedwig and the Angry Inch," read Harry aloud. He turned to Hedwig. "You know, this movie isn't about you..."
"Eh?" squawked Hedwig, who promptly pressed the eject button and tossed the disc out the window.
"Okay, Hedwig, we need you to get this to Sirus Black, as soon as possible. No stopping for espresso like before. Besides, we gotta get you over that caffeine habit." Hermione handed Hedwig the piece of parchment. "I hope Sirus gets this in time. He's our only hope," said Hermione.
"Wait a second! Why aren't your eyes revolving dice? I thought Snape got you!" demanded Harry.
"I kicked him in the groin and ran away," replied Hermione.
"Makes sense," replied Harry.
"Harry? What are you doing in the owlery so late at night?" inquired a voice behind them.
Hermione spun around to see the speaker, and screamed. Harry pivoted, too, and saw the cause for fear.
Dumbledore, in his lacey lime green gown, had followed them, and his whirling dice had stopped. He carried a portable boom box in his right hand, and it was currently playing Eiffel 65's hit, "Blue." Dumbledore was dancing to it, waiting for a reply from Harry.
"I'm sending a letter, what else..." Harry began cautiously. The music in the boom box stopped instantly, and a chilling silence filled the room.
"About how many sentences were in the letter?" asked Dumbledore in a sinister tone Harry had never heard him use before. Knowing Dumbledore was a very powerful wizard, Harry feared that if he did not reply to this, Dumbledore might lose it and Harry's life would be in jeopardy.
"About two sentences, sir," said Harry. Dumbledore smiled a wicked smile, and stepped forward in a deathly manner.
"Harry, remember how Snape almost got me!" Hermione shrieked. "The dice in his eyes stopped, I added the numbers up and got eight, and he then tried to get my eyes!"
Harry looked at the dice in Dumbledore's eyes; the dice in both sockets had stopped revolving and landed on 1. Two. Two sentences! Harry had jeopardized his life anyway. He knew his green eyes didn't have the best vision, but he now suddenly felt very attached to them, for as Professor Dumbledore raised a pair of tweezers, Harry knew his eyes didn't stand a very good chance....
Harry, thinking quickly yelled, "Stop!" Dumbledore did just that.
Harry quickly pondered what to say next. "Hey Hermione."
"Yes, Harry?"
"I've got something to say."
"Uh-huh."
"I really like the skillful way you beat the other girls to the bride's bouquet."
"WHAT?" exclaimed Dumbledore.
"Run Hermione!" exclaimed Harry.
Hermione ran out of the owlery. Harry quickly ran and slid under Dumbledore, and Dumbledore's lime green gown and followed Hermione out of the owlery. Dumbledore remained, singing "Dammit Janet" from The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Outside of the owlery, Harry and Hermione gathered their senses. "We are in big trouble!" exclaimed Hermione.
"Yeah, I know! Dumbledore knew all the words to "Dammit Janet"!" replied Harry.
Suddenly, Harry heard footsteps racing toward them. He spun around, scared to death that he'd see yet another dice-eyed figure.... But no, he didn't see anyone at first. He turned around again to speak to Hermione.
"Harry! Look out!" Hermione screeched. Harry wheeled around to come face-to-face with a mime.
"What the..." The mime proceeded to make a number of gestures.
"I think he's trying to tell us something," said Harry.
"What is it boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well again?" The mime paid no attention.
Harry and Hermione eventually gathered that this particular mime was also an escapee from the Hogsmeade Asylum, as it then proceeded to lick the floor of the dusty hallway.
