CHARMEDED EPISODE 5: NOW YOU'RE SUCKERED IN
SCENE A: TEASER
PIPER, PRUE AND PHOEBE ARE STANDING AT MICROPHONES, PIPER HAS A BASS GUITAR, PRUE HAS A A DOUBLENECK ELECTRIC 7 AND 6 STRING GUITAR (MMM). AND PHOEBE HAS A TAMBOURINE. COLE IS ON DRUMS AND LEO IS ON ACOUSTIC GUITAR. THEY BEGIN PLAYING 'ALL YOU WANT' BY DIDO.
PHOEBE: I like to watch you sleep at night
PIPER: Huh?
PHOEBE: To hear you-
PRUE: Breathe!
PIPER: Yech stay out of my bedroom!
PHOEBE GLARES AT PRUE.
PHOEBE/PRUE: By my side. And although-
PRUE SMACKS PHOEBE WITH HER DOUBLENECK.
PRUE: Sleep leaves me behind, there's nowhere I'd-
PHOEBE: Rather be!
IN THE LITTLE INTERLUDE, PHOEBE AND PRUE GIVE EACH OTHER EVILS.
PRUE/PHOEBE: And now our bed is oh so cold
PIPER STARTS TO LAUGH AS PRUE AND PHOEBE TRY TO DROWN EACH OTHER OUT.
PHOEBE: My hands feel empty, with no one to hold
PRUE: Loser.
PRUE/PHOEBE: And I can sleep what side I want.
PIPER: I wouldn't like to sleep in your bed!
PRUE: It's not the same
PHOEBE: With you gone
PRUE: Damn right - it's better!
PRUE SHOVES PHOEBE WHO FALLS OVER.
PRUE: Oh, if you'd come home...
SHE REALISES EVERYONE HAS STOPPED. SHE LOOKS OVER AT LEO AND COLE QUESTIONINGLY.
COLE: The tambourine kept us in time...
SHANNEN: Alyssa! God dammit!
ALYSSA: What?
SHANNEN: Remember, I'm the singer!
ALYSSA: But I can do it much better than y-
SHANNEN JABS ALYSSA WITH HER GUITAR. ALYSSA FALLS OVER.
SHANNEN: You're such a bad singer the only way I'd ever listen to your records were if I had killed forty seven people and was sniper shot by the hostage rescue team, and this was my time in purgatory!
HOLLY: Oow zinger!
JULIAN DOES A DRUM ROLL. ALYSSA GETS UP.
ALYSSA: Yeah? Well, you suck too! The only way I'd ever listen to your records were if I had killed forty seven people and was sniper shot by the hostage rescue team, and this was my time in purgatory!
SHANNEN: What?
HOLLY: Boo!
BRAIN: Alyssa, I'm guessing you wanted to turn her insult back into her, but you kinda failed.
SHANNEN: Yeah you're a failure. And are you that big a retard that you didn't know I don't have any records?
ALYSSA: Oh yeah?
ALYSSA JUMPS OFF THE STAGE.
ALYSSA: Wait here - I'll prove it.
JULIAN: Come back in character! We're gonna start filming soon.
HOLLY: We already did.
ALYSSA: Be right back!
SHE SCUTTLES OFF.
SHANNEN: She's bluffing. I mean, lying. What a little dumbass.
BRAIN: What was she doing in this scene anyway?
HOLLY: Playing the tambourine.
SHANNEN: Yeah, if you could call it that.
HOLLY: Well, last week she was learning the kazoo.
JULIAN: Ich, I know. I had to bear the brunt of that little thing so I...
BRAIN: You what?
JULIAN: ... I made her swallow it.
SHANNEN: So that's why she's squeakier than usual.
JULIAN: Well she wouldn't stop so I shoved it down her throat. She hardly resisted at all!
HOLLY: You forgot your anger-management class didn't you?
SHANNEN: No problem, we all do sometimes.
A STRING ON HER DOUBLENECK SNAPS.
SHANNEN: God dammit! Could this freakin day get any worse? Where is the maker of this piece of crap, that Gibson Les Paul guy I swear when I find him I am gonna stick this so far up his-
ROLL OPENING CREDITS.
*
SCENE B:
THE CAST, NOW IN CHARACTER, ARE STILL ON STAGE, NOW PIPER AND PRUE ARE SITTING ON THE EDGE AND HAVE 'LOST' THEIR RESPECTIVE INSTRUMENTS. LEO AND COLE ARE NOWHERE TO BE SEEN.
PIPER: So, Phoebe's been gone a while.
PRUE: Yeah. But she's lying. I don't have any songs.
PIPER: I know, sweetie. So what happened after the guy who made your guitar talked to you?
PRUE: What? The Gibson Les Paul guy? Oh I stuck to my promise. Look there he is there!
THE GIBSON LES PAUL GUY LIMPS PAST.
PIPER: Owie he must be hurting a lot.
PRUE: There's nothing quite like vengeance when you're pissed.
PIPER: But now you're gonna have to buy a new guitar.
PRUE: ****. Never thought of that.
PIPER: That's what happens when you miss your anger management class!
PRUE: Piper. Don't say I told you so or that bass of yours will be finding itself in a 'very uncomfortable place'.
PIPER: Sorry! Sorry. Look at me shushing!
PHOEBE ENTERS WITH A CD.
PRUE: Oh brother.
PHOEBE: Sister, actually. I found it!
SHE SHOWS THEM THE CD. IT IS AN OLD ALYSSA MILANO CD WITH A TATTY PHOTO OF PRUE GLUED TO THE FRONT, AND THE TITLE 'PRUE' HAS BEEN WRITTEN ON IN MARKER PEN.
PRUE: Phoebe, this is some old crap teenybop cd. We're not totally stupid.
PIPER: Oh, just humour her for once. Well would you look at that! Prue does have cd of her-
PRUE USES HER POWER AND THROWS PIPER ACROSS THE ROOM.
PHOEBE: You're just jealous.
PRUE: You're just about to get brain damage!
USING HER POWERS, PRUE BURSTS EACH AND EVERY DRUM OVER PHOEBE'S HEAD, SO NOT ONLY DOES HER HEAD HURT, BUT ALL OF THE DRUMS ARE ENCOMPASSING HER BODY AND SHE IS TRAPPED INSIDE THEM.
PRUE: Oh no, poor Pheebs can't move! What would happen if she... fell over?
PHOEBE: Prue! No!
PRUE: I hated this thing, you were so bad at something so simple!
PRUE PHYSICALLY SMASHES THE TAMBOURINE OVER PHOEBE'S HEAD AND KICKS HER SO SHE FALLS OVER.
PRUE: Damn I was hoping this room was sloped so you'd roll away. Oh well.
PRUE EXITS.
PRUE(OS): Leo, Cole? Were gonna have to buy new equipment, Phoebe burst all the drums.
PHOEBE: Oooh.
PIPER: Ow! Damn Phoebe that's your fault! I was trying to be nice and look where it got me - flying into the goddamn wall!
PHOEBE: Sorry. I really thought we were past that physical violence stuff.
PIPER: With Prue? Good one, Phoebe. That's funny. Prue will continue to hit us unless we do something about it.
PHOEBE: And?
PIPER: I'm not. Now, I'm sure after all that you're feeling drowsy.
PHOEBE: Well yeah...
PIPER: I know I am. So what say we just sit back and let the unconsciousness wash over?
PHOEBE: Sounds like a plan!
THEY RELAX. SILENCE.
*
PHOEBE IS IN THE LIVING ROOM WATCHING THE POWERPUFF GIRLS. PIPER ENTERS.
PHOEBE: Hey Piper - check it out - it's like the cartoon version of us!
PIPER: What? Phoebe-
PHOEBE: No, watch. The one with black hair is Prue, the cute one with blonde hair is me...
PIPER: And I'm the ginger one? No thanks-
PHOEBE: No watch for a minute!
WE WATCH THE TELEVISION:
BUTTERCUP: Come on! Let's go kick his butt!
BLOSSOM: No, maybe we should think this thing through.
BUBBLES: Why can't we all be nice! Hee hee let's play a game!
WE'RE BACK IN THE MANOR AGAIN.
PIPER: My god! Wow! You're so right! The Prue one even looks like her!
PHOEBE: Yeah what with the green eyes and all. But don't tell Prue cos she'll kill me for comparing her to a cartoon.
PIPER: (scheming) Hmmm.
LEO ENTERS.
PHOEBE: And here's our Professer Utonium!
LEO: Come on - I'm not like him! I'm more like... MoJo JoJo! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
PHOEBE: What? He's evil! Ahhhh!
PHOEBE JUMPS ON LEO AND STARTS KICKING HIS HEAD IN. PRUE ENTERS.
PRUE: Huh! Get off my brother-in-law!
SHE TK'S PHOEBE INTO THE WALL, AND RUSHES TO LEO'S SIDE.
PRUE: Leo, sweetie, you okay?
LEO: I'll live.
PRUE GIVES PHOEBE EVILS.
PIPER: This doesn't seem quite right. Prue? Did Paige take over your body again?
PRUE: No, dumbass, Paige hated you, not Phoebe.
LEO: Yeah Piper, I thought that was the givaway that Prue was possessed.
PIPER: True, true.
PHOEBE: Where's Cole?
PRUE: Where's Bucklands Guy?
SILENCE.
PRUE: Guys? What's wrong?
PIPER: Um, sweetie... Bucklands Guy...
PRUE: What? Is there somebody else? Phoebe???
PRUE RAISES HER HAND TOWARDS PHOEBE. PHOEBE COWERS.
PHOEBE: No! No he's just dead please don't hurt me I didn't touch him!
PRUE: He's... dead?
LEO: I'm sorry Prue.
PRUE: ... dammit! I thought my days of being a necrophiliac were over!
PIPER: Mabe we should leave you alone.
PRUE: No, no it's alright. I'd prefer company.
EVERYONE BUT PRUE LEAVES.
PRUE: Were you even listening?
THE DOORBELL RINGS. PRUE ANSWERS IT.
PRUE: Oh my god...
SUDDENLY SHE IS PUNCHED IN THE FACE AND KNOCKED UNCONSCIOUS.
BUFFY: Okay, someone tie her up and I'll find the others.
XANDER: Wait, which one was that?
BUFFY: Crap, meant to find that out before I decked her...
GILES: Buffy, you cannot simply-
BUFFY: Yeah yeah yadayadayada. Ask her when she comes to.
BUFFY ENTERS THE MANOR. WILLOW, XANDER AND GILES GRAB PRUE AND CARRY HER INTO THE LIVING ROOM.
*
KITCHEN. LEO PHOEBE AND PIPER ARE STANDING AROUND WITH COFFEE.
LEO: Something weird is going on with Prue. If only we had more books.
PHOEBE: Like in Buffy.
BUFFY SILENTLY ENTERS.
PIPER: Yeah - where's Buffy when you need her?
BUFFY: Right here.
PHOEBE: I'm sure you've said that before, Piper.
PIPER: I know, but I thought it suited the moment.
BUFFY: Hello?
THEY NOTICE HER.
PIPER: Oh hi.
PHOEBE: Coffee?
LEO: Guys! That's Buffy!
PIPER: It is?
PHOEBE: Wow - so it is! Hi Buffy!
BUFFY: How the hell do you know my name?
LEO: She doesn't look too happy.
BUFFY: Who are you?
LEO: I'm just leaving...
LEO ORBS OUT.
BUFFY: What the? What are you guys?
BUFFY TAKES OUT A CROSSBOW.
PIPER: Oh my god!
PIPER FREEZES BUFFY.
PHOEBE: Piper! You can't do that to Buffy! She'll kick your ass!
PIPER: Not if we kick hers first. Prue!
PHOEBE: Was she gonna shoot us?
PIPER: Ya think? Come on, we have to find Prue, I'll try to hold the freeze.
PIPER AND PHOEBE EXIT. BUFFY UNFREEZES. SHE LOOKS AROUD, BAFFLED.
BUFFY: You are now in Weirdsville. Population: you.
BUFFY EXITS.
*
LIVING ROOM. BUFFY ENTERS TO FIND ALL THREE CHARMEDED ONES TIED TO CHAIRS. PRUE IS STILL OUT COLD.
BUFFY: That easy huh?
PIPER: I still just can't figure out how we have so many chairs.
BUFFY: Okay. Now you're gonna tell me stuff. Stuff I wanna know. And if you don't offer the information, I'm gonna have to make you tell me.
TO BE CONTINUED...
*
VOICE OVER LADY: Oooh what will happen in this exciting crossover two-parter? Will the Charmeded Ones ever escape? Will Buffy and Co liquidise them? Will Leo ever stop being a coward? Find out next time on Charmeded: The Show That's Almost Charmed But Not Quite.
ROLL CREDITS.
VOICE OVER MAN: Well, look the makers aren't giving anything away - there are no previews of the next episodes, that's very very exciting. Ahem. Attention all fans of the hit TV series, Charmeded. The stars will be holding an exclusive press conference in a few weeks time to celebrate the screening of their eighth and final climatic episode on television across the globe. The Daily Fling Cabinet Newspaper plans to give full coverage of the event, and will ask a few emailed questions to the stars. See below for details of how your question could be pitched to the perfect cast, and how you could win... well, nothing.
If you would like to see if your question could be asked to the stars of Charmeded, please email a short question to kaytee83@hotmail.com You may leave your name if you would like the question to be credited to you in the coverage, which will be available after the screening of the eigth and last episode of the current series.
SCENE A: TEASER
PIPER, PRUE AND PHOEBE ARE STANDING AT MICROPHONES, PIPER HAS A BASS GUITAR, PRUE HAS A A DOUBLENECK ELECTRIC 7 AND 6 STRING GUITAR (MMM). AND PHOEBE HAS A TAMBOURINE. COLE IS ON DRUMS AND LEO IS ON ACOUSTIC GUITAR. THEY BEGIN PLAYING 'ALL YOU WANT' BY DIDO.
PHOEBE: I like to watch you sleep at night
PIPER: Huh?
PHOEBE: To hear you-
PRUE: Breathe!
PIPER: Yech stay out of my bedroom!
PHOEBE GLARES AT PRUE.
PHOEBE/PRUE: By my side. And although-
PRUE SMACKS PHOEBE WITH HER DOUBLENECK.
PRUE: Sleep leaves me behind, there's nowhere I'd-
PHOEBE: Rather be!
IN THE LITTLE INTERLUDE, PHOEBE AND PRUE GIVE EACH OTHER EVILS.
PRUE/PHOEBE: And now our bed is oh so cold
PIPER STARTS TO LAUGH AS PRUE AND PHOEBE TRY TO DROWN EACH OTHER OUT.
PHOEBE: My hands feel empty, with no one to hold
PRUE: Loser.
PRUE/PHOEBE: And I can sleep what side I want.
PIPER: I wouldn't like to sleep in your bed!
PRUE: It's not the same
PHOEBE: With you gone
PRUE: Damn right - it's better!
PRUE SHOVES PHOEBE WHO FALLS OVER.
PRUE: Oh, if you'd come home...
SHE REALISES EVERYONE HAS STOPPED. SHE LOOKS OVER AT LEO AND COLE QUESTIONINGLY.
COLE: The tambourine kept us in time...
SHANNEN: Alyssa! God dammit!
ALYSSA: What?
SHANNEN: Remember, I'm the singer!
ALYSSA: But I can do it much better than y-
SHANNEN JABS ALYSSA WITH HER GUITAR. ALYSSA FALLS OVER.
SHANNEN: You're such a bad singer the only way I'd ever listen to your records were if I had killed forty seven people and was sniper shot by the hostage rescue team, and this was my time in purgatory!
HOLLY: Oow zinger!
JULIAN DOES A DRUM ROLL. ALYSSA GETS UP.
ALYSSA: Yeah? Well, you suck too! The only way I'd ever listen to your records were if I had killed forty seven people and was sniper shot by the hostage rescue team, and this was my time in purgatory!
SHANNEN: What?
HOLLY: Boo!
BRAIN: Alyssa, I'm guessing you wanted to turn her insult back into her, but you kinda failed.
SHANNEN: Yeah you're a failure. And are you that big a retard that you didn't know I don't have any records?
ALYSSA: Oh yeah?
ALYSSA JUMPS OFF THE STAGE.
ALYSSA: Wait here - I'll prove it.
JULIAN: Come back in character! We're gonna start filming soon.
HOLLY: We already did.
ALYSSA: Be right back!
SHE SCUTTLES OFF.
SHANNEN: She's bluffing. I mean, lying. What a little dumbass.
BRAIN: What was she doing in this scene anyway?
HOLLY: Playing the tambourine.
SHANNEN: Yeah, if you could call it that.
HOLLY: Well, last week she was learning the kazoo.
JULIAN: Ich, I know. I had to bear the brunt of that little thing so I...
BRAIN: You what?
JULIAN: ... I made her swallow it.
SHANNEN: So that's why she's squeakier than usual.
JULIAN: Well she wouldn't stop so I shoved it down her throat. She hardly resisted at all!
HOLLY: You forgot your anger-management class didn't you?
SHANNEN: No problem, we all do sometimes.
A STRING ON HER DOUBLENECK SNAPS.
SHANNEN: God dammit! Could this freakin day get any worse? Where is the maker of this piece of crap, that Gibson Les Paul guy I swear when I find him I am gonna stick this so far up his-
ROLL OPENING CREDITS.
*
SCENE B:
THE CAST, NOW IN CHARACTER, ARE STILL ON STAGE, NOW PIPER AND PRUE ARE SITTING ON THE EDGE AND HAVE 'LOST' THEIR RESPECTIVE INSTRUMENTS. LEO AND COLE ARE NOWHERE TO BE SEEN.
PIPER: So, Phoebe's been gone a while.
PRUE: Yeah. But she's lying. I don't have any songs.
PIPER: I know, sweetie. So what happened after the guy who made your guitar talked to you?
PRUE: What? The Gibson Les Paul guy? Oh I stuck to my promise. Look there he is there!
THE GIBSON LES PAUL GUY LIMPS PAST.
PIPER: Owie he must be hurting a lot.
PRUE: There's nothing quite like vengeance when you're pissed.
PIPER: But now you're gonna have to buy a new guitar.
PRUE: ****. Never thought of that.
PIPER: That's what happens when you miss your anger management class!
PRUE: Piper. Don't say I told you so or that bass of yours will be finding itself in a 'very uncomfortable place'.
PIPER: Sorry! Sorry. Look at me shushing!
PHOEBE ENTERS WITH A CD.
PRUE: Oh brother.
PHOEBE: Sister, actually. I found it!
SHE SHOWS THEM THE CD. IT IS AN OLD ALYSSA MILANO CD WITH A TATTY PHOTO OF PRUE GLUED TO THE FRONT, AND THE TITLE 'PRUE' HAS BEEN WRITTEN ON IN MARKER PEN.
PRUE: Phoebe, this is some old crap teenybop cd. We're not totally stupid.
PIPER: Oh, just humour her for once. Well would you look at that! Prue does have cd of her-
PRUE USES HER POWER AND THROWS PIPER ACROSS THE ROOM.
PHOEBE: You're just jealous.
PRUE: You're just about to get brain damage!
USING HER POWERS, PRUE BURSTS EACH AND EVERY DRUM OVER PHOEBE'S HEAD, SO NOT ONLY DOES HER HEAD HURT, BUT ALL OF THE DRUMS ARE ENCOMPASSING HER BODY AND SHE IS TRAPPED INSIDE THEM.
PRUE: Oh no, poor Pheebs can't move! What would happen if she... fell over?
PHOEBE: Prue! No!
PRUE: I hated this thing, you were so bad at something so simple!
PRUE PHYSICALLY SMASHES THE TAMBOURINE OVER PHOEBE'S HEAD AND KICKS HER SO SHE FALLS OVER.
PRUE: Damn I was hoping this room was sloped so you'd roll away. Oh well.
PRUE EXITS.
PRUE(OS): Leo, Cole? Were gonna have to buy new equipment, Phoebe burst all the drums.
PHOEBE: Oooh.
PIPER: Ow! Damn Phoebe that's your fault! I was trying to be nice and look where it got me - flying into the goddamn wall!
PHOEBE: Sorry. I really thought we were past that physical violence stuff.
PIPER: With Prue? Good one, Phoebe. That's funny. Prue will continue to hit us unless we do something about it.
PHOEBE: And?
PIPER: I'm not. Now, I'm sure after all that you're feeling drowsy.
PHOEBE: Well yeah...
PIPER: I know I am. So what say we just sit back and let the unconsciousness wash over?
PHOEBE: Sounds like a plan!
THEY RELAX. SILENCE.
*
PHOEBE IS IN THE LIVING ROOM WATCHING THE POWERPUFF GIRLS. PIPER ENTERS.
PHOEBE: Hey Piper - check it out - it's like the cartoon version of us!
PIPER: What? Phoebe-
PHOEBE: No, watch. The one with black hair is Prue, the cute one with blonde hair is me...
PIPER: And I'm the ginger one? No thanks-
PHOEBE: No watch for a minute!
WE WATCH THE TELEVISION:
BUTTERCUP: Come on! Let's go kick his butt!
BLOSSOM: No, maybe we should think this thing through.
BUBBLES: Why can't we all be nice! Hee hee let's play a game!
WE'RE BACK IN THE MANOR AGAIN.
PIPER: My god! Wow! You're so right! The Prue one even looks like her!
PHOEBE: Yeah what with the green eyes and all. But don't tell Prue cos she'll kill me for comparing her to a cartoon.
PIPER: (scheming) Hmmm.
LEO ENTERS.
PHOEBE: And here's our Professer Utonium!
LEO: Come on - I'm not like him! I'm more like... MoJo JoJo! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
PHOEBE: What? He's evil! Ahhhh!
PHOEBE JUMPS ON LEO AND STARTS KICKING HIS HEAD IN. PRUE ENTERS.
PRUE: Huh! Get off my brother-in-law!
SHE TK'S PHOEBE INTO THE WALL, AND RUSHES TO LEO'S SIDE.
PRUE: Leo, sweetie, you okay?
LEO: I'll live.
PRUE GIVES PHOEBE EVILS.
PIPER: This doesn't seem quite right. Prue? Did Paige take over your body again?
PRUE: No, dumbass, Paige hated you, not Phoebe.
LEO: Yeah Piper, I thought that was the givaway that Prue was possessed.
PIPER: True, true.
PHOEBE: Where's Cole?
PRUE: Where's Bucklands Guy?
SILENCE.
PRUE: Guys? What's wrong?
PIPER: Um, sweetie... Bucklands Guy...
PRUE: What? Is there somebody else? Phoebe???
PRUE RAISES HER HAND TOWARDS PHOEBE. PHOEBE COWERS.
PHOEBE: No! No he's just dead please don't hurt me I didn't touch him!
PRUE: He's... dead?
LEO: I'm sorry Prue.
PRUE: ... dammit! I thought my days of being a necrophiliac were over!
PIPER: Mabe we should leave you alone.
PRUE: No, no it's alright. I'd prefer company.
EVERYONE BUT PRUE LEAVES.
PRUE: Were you even listening?
THE DOORBELL RINGS. PRUE ANSWERS IT.
PRUE: Oh my god...
SUDDENLY SHE IS PUNCHED IN THE FACE AND KNOCKED UNCONSCIOUS.
BUFFY: Okay, someone tie her up and I'll find the others.
XANDER: Wait, which one was that?
BUFFY: Crap, meant to find that out before I decked her...
GILES: Buffy, you cannot simply-
BUFFY: Yeah yeah yadayadayada. Ask her when she comes to.
BUFFY ENTERS THE MANOR. WILLOW, XANDER AND GILES GRAB PRUE AND CARRY HER INTO THE LIVING ROOM.
*
KITCHEN. LEO PHOEBE AND PIPER ARE STANDING AROUND WITH COFFEE.
LEO: Something weird is going on with Prue. If only we had more books.
PHOEBE: Like in Buffy.
BUFFY SILENTLY ENTERS.
PIPER: Yeah - where's Buffy when you need her?
BUFFY: Right here.
PHOEBE: I'm sure you've said that before, Piper.
PIPER: I know, but I thought it suited the moment.
BUFFY: Hello?
THEY NOTICE HER.
PIPER: Oh hi.
PHOEBE: Coffee?
LEO: Guys! That's Buffy!
PIPER: It is?
PHOEBE: Wow - so it is! Hi Buffy!
BUFFY: How the hell do you know my name?
LEO: She doesn't look too happy.
BUFFY: Who are you?
LEO: I'm just leaving...
LEO ORBS OUT.
BUFFY: What the? What are you guys?
BUFFY TAKES OUT A CROSSBOW.
PIPER: Oh my god!
PIPER FREEZES BUFFY.
PHOEBE: Piper! You can't do that to Buffy! She'll kick your ass!
PIPER: Not if we kick hers first. Prue!
PHOEBE: Was she gonna shoot us?
PIPER: Ya think? Come on, we have to find Prue, I'll try to hold the freeze.
PIPER AND PHOEBE EXIT. BUFFY UNFREEZES. SHE LOOKS AROUD, BAFFLED.
BUFFY: You are now in Weirdsville. Population: you.
BUFFY EXITS.
*
LIVING ROOM. BUFFY ENTERS TO FIND ALL THREE CHARMEDED ONES TIED TO CHAIRS. PRUE IS STILL OUT COLD.
BUFFY: That easy huh?
PIPER: I still just can't figure out how we have so many chairs.
BUFFY: Okay. Now you're gonna tell me stuff. Stuff I wanna know. And if you don't offer the information, I'm gonna have to make you tell me.
TO BE CONTINUED...
*
VOICE OVER LADY: Oooh what will happen in this exciting crossover two-parter? Will the Charmeded Ones ever escape? Will Buffy and Co liquidise them? Will Leo ever stop being a coward? Find out next time on Charmeded: The Show That's Almost Charmed But Not Quite.
ROLL CREDITS.
VOICE OVER MAN: Well, look the makers aren't giving anything away - there are no previews of the next episodes, that's very very exciting. Ahem. Attention all fans of the hit TV series, Charmeded. The stars will be holding an exclusive press conference in a few weeks time to celebrate the screening of their eighth and final climatic episode on television across the globe. The Daily Fling Cabinet Newspaper plans to give full coverage of the event, and will ask a few emailed questions to the stars. See below for details of how your question could be pitched to the perfect cast, and how you could win... well, nothing.
If you would like to see if your question could be asked to the stars of Charmeded, please email a short question to kaytee83@hotmail.com You may leave your name if you would like the question to be credited to you in the coverage, which will be available after the screening of the eigth and last episode of the current series.
