Professor, there's a fly in my potion
By Liz
Okay, I just found out that someone else wrote one and that it is better than mine, but SORRY! I'm still putting this up for the heck of it...
Title courtesy of Frog Fad from the fanfic Catalogue of Unlikely Harry Potter Fic Titles. I was just called to write this. By what or whom I have no clue.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.

He could see her now...coming ever closer...holding out her arms to him! She was so beautiful and he-

-woke up.

*It is a little known law of the universe that when one is having a dream about a beautiful man/woman the dreamer will wake up before it gets any good*

It wasn't so bad to wake up in class after you'd been sleeping. It wasn't so bad to be embarrassed when everyone laughed at you. It wasn't so bad to get a detention from the teacher. And it wouldn't have been so bad for Neville at all if he hadn't found himself in a cold, dark room with his head near a cauldron. And even Neville knew what this meant. His eyes adjusted to the dark and he was aware of a shape in front of him. He slowly brought his head up, inch by inch, until the robes became a neck and then a face full of some strong emotion. It wasn't a happy one.

OH, no.

No one moved. Not even the Slytherins snickered. No one. No one EVER had fallen asleep in Snape's class before, everyone in the room thought. The Slytherins added, and lived, for good measure.

"Mr. Longbottom," the voice was strangely not a voice at all. It was so icy it was unreal.

Neville's heart stopped for a second and he willed himself to believe that this did not just happen to him. He was NOT in Snape's class. He was only having a nightmare...He pinched himself.

"Mr. Longbottom," the voice said again.

Neville's eyes struggled as they tried not to bulge. He pinched himself again in case it hadn't worked the first time.

"I see you've had a jolly little nap. In my class." Neville couldn't understand how this wasn't working. He seemed to be asleep still. Pinch.

"I am so disappointed that you couldn't have done this yesterday."

Neville's eyes gave up and widened in horror and relief at the same time. Yesterday had been poisons day. Oh, not just any kind...the lethal kind. PINCH!

"So, boy," Neville straightened up and braced himself, "have you anything to say?"

Neville looked frantically at the other students who suddenly seemed very interested in their potions. Neville stared at his dully. He knew he was in deep trouble. And he got mad.

"Professor, there's a fly in my potion!"

Snape's face twitched, "What?"

"I said, you vulture-hat-wearing-transvestite that there's a FLY in my potion!" Neville screamed.

Snape's face flushed with anger. The class watched breathlessly. Some covered their eyes. Snape opened his mouth...and he-

-laughed?

He was! He-he was laughing. He was waving his arms around helplessly as tears rolled down his cheeks. Neville couldn't tell if he was outraged or just having an uncontrollable laughing attack.

Several potions bottles dropped to the floor as Snape threw himself, guffawing, onto several tables. The stunned students recovered. Soon everyone else began to chuckle quietly. Then they laughed politely. Then they were all imitating Snape, rolling on the floor. Neville smiled. He'd done something right. He'd-

"Mr. Longbottom!!!"

Oh, gods...

Talk about a
déjà vu...

He'd just woken up in Snape's class. He didn't know what was worse...that he'd just dreamed about Snape, or that he was now living his dream.

It was extremely silent in the room. Neville felt his heart stop beating. He looked wildly around. When his voice came, it was in a tiny, shrill squeak.

"Professor, there's a fly in my potion...?"

And that is the end. Gee that was strange. I just want to say that I DO like Professor Snape and I really don't know why Neville was the main character. I'm not exactly partial to him, but he fit the part.

Review, but please do not flame me! I'm not exactly having the best day... Thanks so much dears! And thanks again to Frog Fad who inspired me *sniff* Later!

Liz