Part 2 – Bed of Lies

Part 2 – Bed of Lies

bed of lies

No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I am

Don't think that I can take another empty moment
Don't think that I can fake another
hollow smile
It's not enough just to be sorry.
Don't think that I could take another talk about it

Just like me you got needs
And they're only a whisper away
And we softly surrender
To these lives that we've tendered away

No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And they'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I am
Don't wanna be the one who turns the whole thing over
Don't wanna be somewhere where I just don't belong
Where it's not enough just be sorry

Don't you know I feel the darkness closing in
Tried to be more than me
And I gave 'til it all went away
And we've only surrendered
To the worst part of these winters we've made

I am all that I'll ever be
When you - lay your hands
Over me
but don't go weak on me now
I know that it's weak
But God help me I need this
I will not sleep in this bed of lies

Journal Entry- Liz Parker

He's gone. He left me to face the consequences alone. I had my wedding dance, but not the wedding. When he disappeared I knew I'd succeeded in turning him away. But if I was successful, why does it hurt so much? Success is supposed to bring pride.

I'm having a hard time deciding where to rest my eyes. I can't look out on the balcony. I see where he first kissed me and where I danced with the older version of him. It's emptiness mocks me.

I can't look at the bed. I see lies and deceit. I see Kyle lying there with me beside him. I see the treachery that I was forced to stoop to in order to save everyone. No, I can't look there. Oh God, where am I going to sleep tonight. I can't sleep there either.

I can't look at the bathroom. He hid there. I changed there.

I close my eyes to hide from the visions of my deceit, but I feel trapped by the darkness.

Tonight, I guess I'll sleep on the floor with my eyes open. Only the ceiling doesn't mock me. I'll recount the 143 ceiling tiles and hope that I don't dream or suffocate from the darkness.

How will I ever be able to sleep in that bed again? Will I ever be able to sleep without clutching the shirt he loaned me? I'll sleep and try not to remember all that I lost in that moment. Forever.