Summary: Edge (Adam) gets called over to babysit Mick Foley's kids... but they won't sleep without storytime!
Rated PG for some mild language. It's a bedtime story, people!
Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own Edge/Adam Copeland... but.. I'd like to...! I mean, if his wife didn't... Anyway, I don't own Mick Foley's kids. I don't own Mick Foley, either... you know, come to think of it I don't own ANYONE in these stories! So please don't sue me! (hides under her bedcovers)



Once Upon A Time

By Dezzie Chan ^.^


(Where we last left off, Adam had just finished telling the story "Big Red Machine", but was devestated to find the kids weren't asleep yet! Now he is faced with the task of making up a new story - can our shades-wearing beau do it?)


"Once upon a time..."

"OH!" Noelle interrupted Adam, and tugged on his shirt sleeve. "Put a pretty girl in this one, Uncle Adam!"

"Yeah! With a really evil, smelly, big, dorky, bad guy!' Duey added.

"TWO really evil, smelly, big, dorky bad guys!" Noelle cried enthusiastically.

Adam sighed, and started running pretty girls through his head (something he did often enough, as it is). Trish? No, he wasn't going to be the one to set a bad example for Noelle. Lita? No, too many low blows and Litacanranas to even CONSIDER that one. Chyna? Wait, wait, no, Noelle wanted a PRETTY girl. Torrie Wilson? No, then Tajiri would have to be in it, and Adam didn't know Japanese. What about... Molly? Hey! Yeah! Molly was good! Besides, Molly had two people who were really evil, smelly, big, ultimately dorky, and bad who had tormented her in the past.

"All right..." Adam began. "How would you like to hear the story of Molly Holly and the Three Dudleyz?"

Both children nodded their heads happily, and settled back in for a story.

(Reverting back to story mode... Adam = ( ) Duey = { } Noelle = [ ] )

(Once upon a time, there was a very pretty girl named Molly Holly. She lived with her older cousin Crash and Hardcore, but sometimes she wished she would be let out to meet other people more often.)

Molly sighed, and propped her head in her hands. "Golly! I sure wish Crash and Hardcore would let me out to meet other people more often!"

(See?)

She stood up, and dusted off her seat, and at that very moment made a resolution to go do some adventuring! That was the Holly spirit, right? She started to skip off into the forest that surrounded the Holly home.

Meanwhile, in the center of the forest, was a big wooden house known only as "Dudleyville". Some said that the very walls were made of scraps of tables that unfortunate victims had been slammed through, and it was a testament to the ferociousness of the house's inhabitants. The specific residents of the houses included Buh Buh Ray, who was the biggest Dudley. Then, there was D-Von, who was a middle-sized Dudley. Finally, there was the runt of the Dudleys, Spike. Buh Buh and D-Von spent a lot of time picking on Spike, and sometimes the littlest Dudley wished he had a friend outside his family.

That same fateful day that Molly had left to find adventure, Buh Buh Ray and D-Von were once again picking on Spike. They had just made some Chef Boyardee Big Beefaroni, and were giving him a very small amount in proportion to theirs.

{Big Beefa-what?]
(Ah, come on! Your dad did a commercial for it, and you don't know what it is?)
[Daddy's done a commercial for Chef Boyardee Overstuffed Ravioli! Not Beefa-whatever!]
((groan) Okay, let's just continue...)

"You can't have big portions like us, Spike!" teased Buh Buh.

"Testify!" cried D-Von.

"You're too liiiiiittle!" Buh Buh said, jabbing Spike in the arm.

"Testify!" D-Von repeated.

"And now, we're going to eat our BIG BOWLS because we're BIG GUYS!"

"Testify!"

"D-Von, stop that.."

"Tes--sorry. Yeah, Spike! And you're stuck with a little bowl because you're a little guy!"

Spike shook his head, and sat down at the table, trying to ignore his brothers. Just because he got treated like a rag doll by everyone in fairytale land, didn't mean he deserved this! He then took as big a spoonful as he could of his beefaroni, and put it in his mouth, only the get his tongue burned. "Ow!" he exclaimed. "This is too hot! You two did that on purpose!"

[Uncle Adam, this is a sad story... poor Mr. Spike!]
(Don't worry, Noelle, it gets happier!)

However, Spike was wrong, as Buh Buh Ray and D-Von also chorused "Ow!" Their beefaroni was also too hot, so the two bigger brothers came up with an idea.

"Hey, D-Von, Spike! Let's go for a walk and let this beefaroni cool down!"

"Testif--" D-Von got a glare from Buh Buh Ray. "Uh. Right!"

And so the three brothers left for a walk, most likely to go get some more wood, and bring it back to their house for later. Just as they disappeared into the woods, Molly emerged and looked at the less-than-charming house.

"That has got to be the ugliest house I ever seen!" Molly said, pausing to yawn. "But I sure am tired... and... oh, no!" Molly suddenly realized she didn't remember her way home. "Maybe I'll see if anyone's home.. I hope they can help me!"

She approached the house, and knocked on the door a few times. She then politely addressed whomever she hoped was home. "Hello? I think I'm lost! I was just wondering if maybe I could come inside a second?" No answer. She knocked a little harder, and was very surprised to see the door, which was a poorly reconstructed table, fall off the hinges. She blinked, and looked around to make sure no one had seen. Cautiously, she stepped inside, and looked around, only to be met by the smell of Chef Boyardee. It was only then she realized how hungry she was, and approached the three bowls.

{Molly Holly wouldn't steal people's food!}
(Well this is a very scared, lost, and hungry Molly Holly! Survival of the fittest, Due-ster, survival of the fittest...)

Molly sat down and looked from bowl to bowl. She decided to start with the biggest, as she would probably take the least from it while still filling herself up, so as to leave some for the next person. She took a small bite, and exclaimed "Ow!" It was too hot (even after the elapsed time; it was a lot of beefaroni, mind you!) Then she tried the second bowl, it was too cold--

(Yadda, yadda, yadda... third bowl, just right, whoopeedoo.)
{Is that how the story goes?}
(Is now! So she goes upstairs, and there's these three tables...)

...all of which have a pillow and a blanket on them. She first tried the biggest table, but found it smelt way too bad. She tried the middle bed, but it was sweaty, and sticky. Finally, she laid down upon the last table, and found it to be neither smelly, or sweaty. It was just right! Imagine that.

[You forgot the chairs!]
(Dudleyz don't use chairs, sweet, naive Noelle.. they use TABLES. Did you know my onscreen brother Christian and I were masters of tables during the Tables, Ladders and Chai--)
[But in the story--]
(This is not Goldilocks and the Three Bears... it's Molly Holly and the Three Dudleyz! There's a difference...)
{YEAH, Noelle. Duuuuuh!}
(Hey, leave your sister alone... lemme finish the story. This is the good part...)

Molly fell fast asleep, but soon after she drifted into a doze, the Dudleys returned from their walk. Buh Buh sat down in front of his bowl, followed by D-Von. Spike slumped into his chair, and dipped his spoon in only to bring out an empty spoonful.

"What the?" Spike blinked, and looked at the bowl in shock.

"D-Von!!"

"What?"

"Get the Beefaroni!!"

D-Von sniffled. "We're all out... I can't refill it... testif--er... never mind..."

Spike rolled his eyes. "You guys only lost a mouthful!" He held up his empty bowl. "Someone ate all of mine!"

"We only served you a mouthful, you little punk!"

Spike's face fell. "Oh, yeah."

(Feeling insecure, all of them travelled upstairs to check their beds.)
[Uh, Uncle Adam, how did they know to check their beds?]
(Well, they... .... ....you know what? I don't know - they're DUDLEYS! They know to do the bad guy thing at the right time.)

They looked at their table-beds, and much to Buh Buh Ray's dismay, he found his bed smelt... feminine.

"D-Von!"

"What?"

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed!"

D-Von then checked his bed, and found it to be drier than usual.

"Buh Buh!"

"Wha--wait! You can't ever call me!"

"Oh, uh... waaazzaaaaaap?!"

"That works. What did you want to tell me?"

"Yo, someone's been sleepin' in my bed, too! Testify!"

Spike then looked at his bed, and found the most beautiful girl in the world sleeping in it! At first he didn't want to tell his brothers, but he slowly cleared his throat. "There's--" His voice had cracked. Better try again. "There's someone IN my table-bed!"

"Testify?" D-Von and Buh Buh Ray both took a look in the bed, and were shocked to see a blonde girl in Spike's table-bed. Both gasped, then decided the inevitable. It was table time. They hoisted off Molly, and before Spike could argue, were carting her downstairs to their wood stash.

"Wait! Stop!" Spike followed them downstairs as D-Von was setting up the table. Buh Buh climbed up onto a chair, and prepared to drop Molly. Spike, however, wouldn't have it, and started to run toward him, when D-Von held out his hand. Spike ran cleanly into it, knocked flat on the floor.

"No!"

Everything reverted to slow motion, as things sometimes do at important moments, and Buh Buh Ray began to drop toward the table with Molly. Then, in a flash of green light, Molly disappeared from the scene, an Buh Buh ended up putting his own fat ass through the table (like he always does, but hey, who cares?)

When the sawdust had cleared, a mysterious figure in a green cape and black mask stood holding Molly. Spike was livid.

"You were going to put this young, beautiful citizen through a table! Whuzzupwiddat?!" Hurricane almost went to plant his hands firmly on his hips, but nearly dropped Molly in the process, and decided that would be a bad idea. "Now, I must make my daring Hurri-exit! But fear not... for I will return, same Hurri-time, same Hurri-channel!"

With that, he whooshed, off, leaving Spike heart-broken, but determined to win back his sweet Molly Holly.

(Back to Noelle's room.)

"To be continued..." Adam ended mysteriously, looking off into space. He then looked back down at the kids, to find poor Noelle almost in tears and Duey with mouth agape.

"He... he... he..." Noelle was fighting for words. "He STOLED her!" With that she burst into tears, leaving Adam feeling like a complete jerk.

"Okay, okay, okay.. that was a bad ending! Aww, Noelle, don't cry!" Adam looked around nervously, then came up with a great idea. "How's this, Noelle? Noelle?" She paused to look up at him through teary eyes. "How about Uncle Adam tells you a story with a happy ending? Where someone reeaally annoying gets beaten by The Great One?"

"The Great One?!" both kids squealed, Noelle forgetting her tears.

Adam smirked. Oh, yeah - he was a wonder with kids!


To Be Continued!

Note: So... how is Part 3? Don't worry, Spike/Molly fanatics, this is not the last you've heard of, well, Spike/Molly! Please don't flame me, or put "Oh, I prefer Spike/Molly!" blah blah blah in your reviews, because, well... remember what Noelle said "He STOLED her!" Anyway, I KNOW you wanna see The Rock beat up someone really annoying, so stay tuned for the next chapter!