Truth or Dare
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, someone else does
Chapter Two… The Truth
"That" I finished in a low whisper, finally drawing away from him and running my tongue lightly over my lips, savouring the taste. For a long moment all I could do was stare at him, faces close, arms, hands, still curved around each other, bodies and souls unwilling to let the other go.
"Wow" He uttered under his breath, our faces close enough so
I could feel him exhale on my cheek, I smiled.
"Well, well, well," There was a voice behind us "…what have
we got here then?" We leapt apart, suddenly aware that we had witnesses. Or
rather one witness, one very dangerous witness. Moments after he had spoken he
came into view above us, slowly making his way down the hill, "I see you two
have caught the fag bug too then," He paused dramatically, a wide self-assured
grin on his face "you must have been spending too much time around those two
fairies you call friends"
He was beside us now, his face close, taunting. Will
swallowed hard beside me.
"Ryder…I" He started, but was cut off.
"Don't mind me guys, you go right ahead, you owe me no
explanation!" He was overacting, enjoying the situation, making the most of it.
We exchanged a glance, unsure as to where this was going "You know me! You know
I can be trusted with your little secret, you know you can trust me to make
sure it becomes common knowledge to every other boy at Rawley and make your
lives living hell" He finished his sentence in the same sickly sweet tone as it
had begun, causing it to hit home all the more strongly. What had we done?
"How, how long have you been standing there?" Will spoke
again, quieter this time, the stammer in his voice showing his guilt all too
clearly. Beside him I was hastily raking my brain for solutions, stupid excuses
we could throw at Ryder, stop him believing what he did.
"Long enough guys," The self-satisfied smile on his face grew
larger at our reactions "I heard yelling, thought I'd come check it out, and lo
and behold here you two were, getting all cosy on the lawn" He drew the word
out long and clear, adding an extra, upper-class English lilt to it, mocking
us, enjoying himself.
I couldn't face it any more, my head was lowered now, and I
studied my shoes intently. I had no idea how to counter these accusations, my
mind had come up with no solution, no line to feed Ryder which would make him
think otherwise about us. There simply was nothing, nothing that wouldn't sound
totally lame anyway "Oh by the way Ryder, what you saw wasn't us kissing, it
was just me trying to help Will get something out of his teeth …" He'd laugh all
the way back to his dorm.
Anyway the damage had been done now; we'd both proven our
guilt in our silence, in our lack of explanation. If we'd immediately come up
with some cover story and stuck to it like glue we might have got away with it,
but no, our minds didn't act that fast, not after a kiss like that anyway. We
were trapped now, stuck in an impossible situation, with nothing to do but face
the music.
Ham and Jake had survived, I thought to myself idly, hoping
to lighten the situation in my own mind. Ryder had thought them a couple before
Will and I had even considered the thought and had been passing round rumours
ever since. They were still intact, still together; they'd got through it. I
glanced over at Will, the difference between us and them was the fact that
there was no truth in their rumours, while everything about me and Will would
be correct, would that make it any different? Any easier? Or more difficult?
It was a while before I realised we were standing in silence,
the workings of my mind seemed loud enough to have spoken for themselves and it
took a while before my brain was tuned back into the reality frequency.
"Well…" Ryder said in a mock sweet tone "I'd better let you
two little love birds scurry off home then, places to be and all that." He
smiled as he walked past us, deliberately clipping Will's shoulder as he did
so, causing him to stumble and press up against me. In my nervousness I leapt
back, not wanting to be seen close to him, terrified at how Ryder might see it,
but he only laughed cruelly as he walked away, happy that he'd bestowed just
that little bit more torment on our lives.
"He
can't really be as evil as we think he is, can he?" Will asked in a low tone as
we watched him walk away "He can't be malicious enough to tell the entire
school, he'd have nothing to gain from it."
"Personal glory?" I offered "Respect?"
I turned to walk away from him, annoyed by his innocence, his
naivety, the way he clung to logic born out of stupidity.
"Look at Ham and Jake." I threw back at him simply as I
marched off toward the school, the school filled with one hundred other boys
that wouldn't approve, with our friends who we'd have to tell, with our
dormitory, our beds, our classrooms, our teachers, our lives.
"We'll get through this Scout," He was behind me now, running
to catch me up, hand rested on my shoulder. I shrugged it off as if it burned
"Scout?"
"Don't touch me Will"
"But Scout I…"
"Don't you see Will…?" I asked, turning to face him suddenly
"…this has changed everything! This was a mistake, a stupid mistake. I can't be
with you Will, I don't want to be with you!"
And I walked away.
I couldn't take my eyes from him, curled catlike against his
pillow, a ghost of a frown on his face as he slept, and dreamed. The stark
green numbers on Will's dresser announced that it was a quarter past four. It
would be getting light soon, only a few more hours until we had to get up for
crew practise, and I'd spend an hour pressed up against Will in a cramped boat,
shirtless in the still summer air, his chest sprinkled with sweat droplets…
I clamped my eyes shut in an effort to block the thoughts
there was no use in having. It was over; I'd ended it, before it had started.
It had been the only way.
Earlier when we'd watched the tall figure of Ryder saunter
into the darkness one thought had struck me over all others: what would happen
to Will? My father was paying a lot of money to send me to this school, so I
was safe, no doubt about it, but Will didn't have that kind of security. Something
like this could push his scholarship over the edge, people at this school
wouldn't offer their respect and support to a newly out of the closet teenager,
quite the opposite in fact, they wouldn't approve, they'd force him out of
Rawley. This was the only way.
Quietly beside me Will mumbled something in his sleep,
moaning gently like a child into his duvet before finally giving up and turning
over. I couldn't stop myself from smiling at the innocence of his actions, my
eyes watching him again as he fell back into a peaceful sleep. I stayed like
that for a long time, my eyes resting on the back of his head, before finally
drifting into a fitful sleep myself.
The morning dawned cool and clear, the wind rustling through
the trees that adorned the sides of the school, sending a lone branch tapping
against my windowpane. I choose to ignore it, deciding instead to simply turn
over and hide my face from the world, it was six thirty in the morning; I
wasn't designed to function on two hours sleep.
It was Will's alarm that finally dragged me out of bed. I lay
there for a long time as its piercing cry cut into the quiet of the morning,
waiting expectedly for the sound of Wills mumbled annoyance as he dragged
himself out of bed, hitting the clock hard with the back of his hand and
sending it crashing to the floor, as was his normal morning routine, but none
of the above ever took place. For a long time I listened to the long wail of
the alarm, a strange feeling creeping over my stomach until a rap on the wall finally
brought me back into reality.
"Turn that damn thing off! People are trying to sleep in
here!" The paper-thin walls allowed the cry to be heard easily, as was the
intention. Eventually I hauled myself out from under my duvet, my eyes
lingering on the empty bed beside mine as I slapped the button on top of the
alarm clock hard, silencing it immediately.
Will wasn't at crew practise.
I
left the moment it was over, striding purposefully back toward the school,
hoping to spend some time alone to try and work out what I was feeling, but my
plans were shattered on the arrival of Hamilton and Jake.
"Hey Scout," It was Hamilton who called out, jogging to catch
up with me, Jake at his side "Hey slow down man"
I stopped suddenly, undeserved anger rising within me.
"What do you want Hamilton?"
"Hey man, calm down, I just wanted to know what was up with
you guys, you left in such a hurry last night…"
"Yeah well it was a stupid game anyway" I turned away again,
back toward school, not wanting to carry on the conversation. I was acting
irrationally and I knew it, they didn't deserve my anger, I just had no one
else to vent it on.
"Scout look," It was Jakes turn now; she moved forward and
laid a hand on my shoulder, hoping to slow me and not succeeding "We just want
to know what going on. Perhaps we can help"
"There's nothing you can do." I said purposefully, shrugging
off her helping hand as I had done to Will's only a few hours earlier.
They gave up, stopping suddenly to let me walk away from
them. I didn't look back.
I spent the day torn between avoiding Will and looking for
him, which, needless to say, is a tiring way to spend your time. However it was
only after he missed English class that afternoon that I became anxious. Finn
was equally worried and asked if I could keep an eye out for him:
"I know you two were close, did you have an argument or
something?" I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry as I left his office.
However
for all the confusion his words bestowed upon me they did provide the final reason
I had been seeking to actually go out and look for Will.
As it happened it wasn't a hard task, he was at the first
place I tried, sitting on a chair outside Bella's dads place, arms behind his
head, legs stretched out in front of him. Beside him Bella worked away at a car
engine, lent over so far the waistband of her jeans rode down slightly. On the
sight of this I wasn't quite sure how to feel, up until last night it would
have driven me crazy out of want for her, while today it simply made me smile
at the innocence of it. It was Will that caught and kept my gaze, the tranquil
look on his face as he sat, the arch of his arms around that perfect golden
hallow of hair, those lips, strong and full, and so, so soft.
"Will…?" Taking a deep breath I called out his name gently,
the butterflies in my stomach working overtime as I hastily racked my brain to
try and work out what I was doing there, why I was doing this to myself. Last
night I'd decided that I couldn't be with him and for the sake of his scholarship
we should stay apart. I had no idea what had crumbled that resolve so easily.
At the sound of his name his eyes snapped open, catching my
gaze and holding it, allowing those lips to form a perfect smile, it was then
that I knew why I was there.
"Scout…" For a moment our eyes locked before I realised Bella
was standing just a few yards away from us and quickly settled back into my
buddy-role
"Well, you didn't do such a good job of hiding," I teased,
sitting down on an empty chair beside him "This was the first place I looked"
He laughed, watching me.
"I wasn't really hiding Scout," for a moment he paused, the
serious undertone evident under the light way he had said the words "Hey Bella
do you want a drink or something?" He asked suddenly, breaking our gaze
"Yeah sure, this is thirsty work," It wasn't Bella that
answered his question, but the blood red bonnet of a BMW, stood in front of us.
Beside me Will smiled all the more broadly and stood up, motioning for me to
follow as he went inside.
"You know, I'm not so sure I like being messed around like
this Scout," With a change of scene the mood between us changed dramatically.
During our brief walk inside he had had time to consider the feelings and
actions between us and without Bella around no more friendly front was needed
to be put up around us, no matter how little I was prepared for it, now was the
time for the truth.
"I-I don't know what to say," I stuttered quietly as I
watched him open the fridge door and take three cokes from the bottom shelf.
The doubts I had experienced about this outside were back again full force,
knocking the wind out of me and causing me to re-question my reasons for being
there. However again an answer was offered, as he turned and handed me a coke,
our fingers brushing momentarily as it passed from palm to palm, the charge
between them obvious. He didn't seem to feel it.
"What's going on Scout?" He asked forcefully, walking away
from me again and sitting down at the table, Bella's coke placed neatly before
him on the polished wood surface, forgotten.
Slowly
I walked towards him, nerves causing me to babble, to cover my real reasons for
being there, reasons I wasn't yet able to identify.
"That's what I came here to ask you, I got worried, you
weren't around, it was Finn…"
"I meant with us" He cut me off, irritation showing in his
voice.
For a long time there was silence in the room, broken only by
the rhythmic ticking of Bella's clock on the right hand wall. I watched it
mesmerised, welcoming any small thing to help ease the weight of the situation.
Finally I worked up enough courage to speak.
"I was scared,"
Slowly I lowered myself down onto the seat opposite him and
clasped my hands on the table in front of me, nervous, focusing on them for
support.
"Last night, when Ryder… you know, caught us, I was scared,"
For a long moment I paused, unsure of how to go on, not wanting to look up and
meet his gaze, wary of his reaction "And for the first time in my life it
wasn't me who I was scared for first, it wasn't me I wanted to protect… it was
you." He didn't say a word, and I didn't want him to. Yesterday had been his
time to speak, today it was mine "The very first thought that came into my mind
as Ryder announced to us so happily that he'd make our lives a living hell, was
what would happen to you? You almost lost your scholarship once already, I
didn't want to be the one responsible for you losing it again…"
"…but it wouldn't happen like that" He interjected, I shook
my head.
"If people here at school, parents, kids and such like, ever
found out at about this, it's not going to be pretty Will. They aren't going to
be happy that a townie boy is corrupting one of their own," Finally I lifted my
face to look into his, mouth gaping, preparing to strike back, quickly I carried
on, not wanting him to cut me off once again "and that's how they'll see it
Will, believe me, I've lived with people like this my whole life, I know how
they think and gays are one thing they cannot stand"
Silence again, long and thick, stifling, nervous.
"You make it sound like you agree with them…" His voice
wavered as he spoke, eyes fixed on the table in front of him, anger rising "Is
that what this is about? You think I'm just this disgusting blue collar "gay"
that doesn't deserve someone like you, someone of blue blood?" His voice was
overflowing with feeling, with hurt and betrayal and anger and fear, all the
feelings I had felt in these last two days rolled into one heartfelt sentence.
"My God Will, that's not what I'm saying at all!" I was on my
feet now, crouching before him, shocked by his reaction, but he wouldn't meet
my gaze.
"So that's why you've been ignoring me! I disgust you…" He
was too emotional, too caught up in his own fear, anger and pain to listen. "
You think I'm just this sick townie boy with a crush…"
For
a long moment I sat in silence below him, touched by the depth of his feeling
as I watched the tears flow freely down smooth cheeks.
"Will that's not true," Finally I spoke, staring up at him,
willing him to look at me, my voice was clam, my body tense "you've got this
all wrong, you do not disgust me"
"But, but" He mumbled through his tears
"Listen to me Will…" I had my hands on those cheeks now,
moist with tears, soft with perfection, forcing him to look into my face
"Nothing in a million years could make me feel like that about you, nothing!"
For a second I watched a note of confusion flash across his mouth, before I
covered it with my own.
He didn't hesitate in returning the kiss, his lips responding
to mine instantly, passionate and searching, smooth against my own, tasting
gently of tears. Finally I broke away, my hands now resting on the sides of his
head, forehead pressed up against his.
"You mean everything to me Will…" I said quietly, my eyes
still closed, savouring the closeness "That's why I tried to stop this last
night, I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought by cutting all
connections with you that people might think Ryder was an idiot when he told
them about us, because if they'd believed him there's a chance they could have
simply throw you out of school…"
For
a moment I paused, before going on tentatively "I know how much this
scholarship means to you Will and I was prepared to sacrifice us so you could
keep your place. I suppose I was being selfish at the same time, I couldn't
bear the thought of being apart from you, these last few weeks have been the
best I can ever remember, and its all down to you Will, I owe you everything"
For a while he was silent, his face pressed up against mine, skin
smooth and warm against my own. I could feel his breath on my mouth every time
he exhaled, smell the sweetness of his skin, taste him on my lips, every one of
my senses called out to him as we sat there, two touching figures, at the small
rickety old table in Bella's kitchen, three unopened cokes slowly warming on
the surface beside us.
"What made you change your mind?" His voice was quiet when he
spoke, the words coming out in a low whisper, intimate, warm.
"This…" The word was spoken as a shaky sigh. And for a moment
nothing more was needed, he knew as well as I did what I meant. "I couldn't
bear to lose you, Will, and if you're prepared to take the risk to be together
then so am I. I care about you too much to simply walk away from this"
Finally I allowed my eyes to gently flicker open, catching
his staring back at me, wide, clear blue pools filled with innocence and
happiness. Silently I watched as a wide smile spread across his face and a
final tear gently wound itself down his right cheek, before he finally reacted,
not with words but with actions as he leant forward and kissed me with such
passion and vigour I was glad I was sat down. Every inch of our feelings for
one another were poured into that kiss, every stolen moment, every realisation,
every heartache, every problem and answer and question were cast away, released
to the wind. Leaving only one thought remaining, each other.
Suddenly there was a crash behind us and we leapt apart,
turning as one toward the doorway where three figures lay comically on the
broken shadow of the door. For a long moment there was a tense silence as all
five of us watched each other, shock on every face, before realisation set in
and I began to laugh, Will closely following suit, and drowned out the mumbled groans
of the three figures as they attempted to right themselves.
"So what was that in aide of?" Will asked amused as Jake,
Bella and Hamilton made their way apologetically toward us, embarrassed looks
on their faces.
"Um, we were being concerned friends?" Hamilton offered.
We didn't buy it.
"We were worried that there was something really wrong so we
were here to try and make things right again?" Jakes turn
Again it wasn't accepted.
"We were being nosy" Bella finally admitted and we laughed
"That's more like it" I replied, still on a high from the
last few minutes, that conversation, that kiss, Will.
"So what's going on with you guys then?" Hamilton asked
finally.
"How long were you listening?" Will countered almost
immediately. Hamilton looked to the others for help.
"Not that long"
"Long enough" Hamilton and Bella said together, obviously
disagreeing with the amount of truth they needed to withhold. Will and I
laughed again.
"Then you don't need us to answer your question" Will
remarked, slowly taking my hand from where it lay on his knee and linking our
fingers together, a subtle gesture of trust and endearment.
"So you're really…?" He asked, and we nodded together, smiles
on our faces.
"Wow, I never would have guessed it, I was just joking you
know, when I made up that dare…I never expected…"
"Neither did we," I offered simply, catching Wills eye
momentarily, before looking back towards our three friends "Someone did though"
Silently I caught Jakes eye and she stepped forward slightly a smile on her
face,
"You knew?" Hamilton said shocked, turning to look at her
"Yeah I knew" She replied without looking at him, instead her
eyes were fixed on us, sat close together, happy, finally, with each other.
"How did you know I told her?" Will asked me simply
"That look you gave her before you first kissed me, it was a
big give away" He laughed and so did I, and suddenly, with our eyes locked
there was no one else in the room, only each other, and the touch of his hand
on mine.
"So" He said slowly with a mischievous twinkle in his eye "Do
you think I'm ever going to get to kiss you without someone barging in on us?"
I laughed and slowly picked myself up off the floor,
squeezing his hand as I did so before letting it go,
"Probably not old buddy" Gently I squeezed his shoulder,
before moving away from him, there was one more I needed to get settled.
Bella was stood to the left of Hamilton and Jake, that kind
of gentle smile on her face that would have sent me crazy only a few days
before. It's amazing how quickly the heart can change, I thought to myself idly
as I walked toward her and flashed her a faint smile. She returned it
immediately and welcomed my hug when I slipped my arms around her shoulders. I
had her blessing and the one thing that made the moment complete. Every thing
was right with the world. I was happy and that was the only thing that
mattered.
How
naïve I was.
Chapter
Three…The Winners
Coming
soon
