When Duo stepped out of the hole, he found himself in his bedroom again. 'Weird...' He glanced at the clock, which read 2:06, one minute after he'd left. 'So she wasn't lying about the time difference.'
For some reason, that reassured him. He knew now that he could at least trust his mother not to lie to him, and that calmed him down a bit. All he had to do before going back in and trying to save Heero was let go. Let go…whatever that meant. Oh well. If it was for Heero, Duo could and would do anything. He'd even go to Hell. A not-quite-amused laugh came out of him. 'Hell…I've already done that,' he thought wryly. 'I've already been to Hell…and back.'
~*~*~
When he woke up the next morning, Duo found a note pinned to the kitchen table saying that the others had left for a meeting on a colony. They wouldn't be back until a week later. "Well, that gives me plenty of time to 'let go', doesn't it?" he asked the refrigerator, which hummed in reply. He sighed. "This is stupid..."
After eating breakfast, he went into the living room, where he sat in his favorite armchair and started meditating. 'That's not going to let you go, you know,' his little voice of reason scoffed.
"SHUT UP!"
'It really isn't...' Then it didn't speak again. Duo glared at his reflection in the mirror, hoping that the voice inside saw it.
After an hour, what the voice had predicated came true and Duo gave up. He decided to go out for a walk. The breeze that greeted him tugged his braid playfully, and he let it blow before pulling his cap on and stopping his hair from flying everywhere.
'Mom...' Duo thought. He liked the familiarity to it, but still...it seemed so far away. He didn't even know he had a mom until a day ago. How could he learn to trust her in such short a time?
'Shi no Tenshi's a good person.'
"I said DON'T BOTHER ME!" Duo said softly, so the other people couldn't hear. "And I don't need your advice!"
'Sure...' Duo was starting to resent his voice of reason's personality. It reminded Duo too much of himself.
He snarled, directing it to the voice, but quickly straightened his face when an old lady gave him a weird look and muttered, "Young people these days."
~*~*~
That night, after Duo had finally given up trying to 'let go', he fell into bed, exhausted from his efforts of trying to rest. "This is VERY stupid..."
His computer hummed companionably.
Duo blinked and sat up suddenly. 'Hey wait a minute. I don't have a computer.' He turned to stare at the monitor sitting on the table in the corner of the room. Somewhat tentatively, Duo got out of bed and advanced towards the computer, which was still humming.
He touched the mouse, giving it a little shake, and the black of the screen gave way to words. Arigatou. See you soon. There was a little happy face floating around next to the words.
Duo grinned despite himself. 'Geez Heero.' Even though he almost never smiled and had no sense of humor whatsoever, it was obvious Heero had sent the message. For one, the computer belonged to him (Duo could tell because the monitor had a dent where he'd 'accidentally' knocked it to the ground once), and two, floating around with the smiley face was a gun. 'Thanks.'
A smile still lingering on his face, Duo plopped back into bed and burrowed under the covers. Tomorrow, he'd try letting go again. But tonight… Well, tonight was for sleeping. Only sleeping…no worrying...
~*~*~
Despite the fact that Heero had died, Duo was suddenly the heir to Hell, and that a voice of reason had decided on impulse to make itself known, life went on. Duo, glad that no one was around to watch, stuffed his face with Ben and Jerry's coffee ice cream, all the while still working on the 'letting go' process. His favorite armchair now had a big butt-dent in it where Duo had sat down for too long.
It was five o'clock pm of a gorgeous day, and Duo was once again curled up in his chair, fiddling with his cross. He stared at the cross and a shadow settled over his soul. Now that he was the rightful heir of Hell, was it right to keep wearing the necklace? The cross was, after all, a symbol of Jesus Christ, right? And a person who was literally the child of Satan sure couldn't be too saint-like nor God worshipping, for that matter.
Then again, he couldn't just take it off and forget about it either… It was a last reminder of Father Maxwell, Sister Helen, and all the others at the church. It wouldn't be right to throw it away. He sighed. If Heero were here, he'd know what to do…
'Stop it!' Duo thought angrily. 'Worrying about a cross isn't going to bring Heero back!' Duo was about to get up and do something to help bring Heero back when he stopped. 'But what will?' He sighed, feeling more dejected then he had ever felt in his life. 'Someone help me!'
Suddenly, the phone ran and Duo nearly jumped out of his skin. As soon as he recovered from the shock, he sprang out of his chair and grabbed for the phone. Maybe it was Heero… "Hello?"
"Hi. Duo?" A worried voice came over the phone and Duo felt his hope leave him.
"Oh…Quatre."
"Are you alright? I feel…bad…about leaving you home alone right now."
Duo, touched by the blonde's worry, forced a cheerful note into his voice. "Oh, I'm alright. I haven't killed anything yet, if that's what you're worried about. And your house is still standing."
Quatre sighed and Duo could imagine a smile coming over Quatre's face. "Well, if you're alright, then you wouldn't mind if we're gone for five more days?"
"Oh sure, no problem! I can take care of myself. I'm a big boy now."
"Of course." There was a slight pause. "I have to leave now… There's another meeting soon, and I wanted to talk to Trowa before we leave again."
"Alright. I'll see you, I guess." There was a click as Quatre hung up, and after awhile, Duo placed the phone back into its cradle. He closed his eyes and sagged against the wall. 'Heero…'
Duo was just about to drown in his misery when the phone ran again. His hand shot out to grab the receiver. "Hello?"
"Duo…" The other voice was feminine, soft and longing. "Is it you?"
His eyes widened. "Mom?'
"I'm glad you can recognize me…" Shi no Tenshi sighed softly. "Can you come over? I…I need to see you…"
"Come over? How?"
"The same way you did last time. Through Heero's grave."
"I… Sure, I guess so. I'll be right over."
"Thank you…"
Duo hung up, more than a bit perplexed over the urgent tone in his mother's voice. What in the world had happened? Heero couldn't have…died again, could he? Appalled at the thought, Duo grabbed his jacket of the back of a chair and ran out the door, sprinting to the graveyard.
It didn't take him long to locate Heero's tombstone and enter the tunnel again, though he was more reluctant to do so this time. Surprisingly, there were no Dobermans out guarding the entrance, nor were there signs of any other guards.
Duo stepped into the room at the end of the tunnel cautiously. "Hello?" he called into the darkness.
At the sound of his voice, a ball of flame appeared, lighting the room. Shi no Tenshi stood on one side of the room, an ancient book opened in her arms. "Duo…"
"What's the matter?"
"Our librarian found a spell that would free a person bound to hell from his chains," she said softly.
"Alright!" he exclaimed happily. Then, after getting a closer look of his mother's face, he added, "Hey, why do you look so sad?"
"It requires the soul of a pure person..." she replied.
He stepped closer towards his mother, sensing dread. "I don't get it," he said, preparing for the worst.
Heero, seated at Shi no Tenshi's feet, explained. "The spell needs the soul of someone who's never killed nor sinned before."
"And…?" Duo's voice was getting softer as he talked. He had a feeling he knew who the sacrifice was going to be…and he wasn't going to like it. Not one bit.
"The lady is the only one around for miles that hasn't done either of those things…"
Duo stared at his mother, shocked. "But…you can't die, right? I mean, you're the Angel of Death…"
"Spells sometimes override the rules of 'Death can't die', as in this case," she said. "Besides, it would take my soul, not my life."
"What's that mean?"
She looked at Duo. "I have no life, for I am Death. But I still have a soul. And that's what the spell requires."
"You're not…" Duo shook his head slowly. "You're not going to, right?"
Shi no Tenshi turned her face so she was no longer facing Duo. "Anything to make you happy, love. Besides, there is no need for me down here… My soul was to disintegrate soon. That's why I so suddenly brought you down here and told you about being Shinigami." She smiled, though still avoiding Duo's eyes. "And I may as well put my soul to good use before it disappears, hm?"
"But…but…" Duo looked towards Heero for help. "But…" Finally, unsure of what to say, he ran towards her and flung his arms around her. "But you CAN'T!"
Shi no Tenshi, surprised, wrapped her arms around her son. "Sh, Duo. Yes I can, and I already have. The spell will keep my soul together for however long it may be needed."
He looked up, his violet eyes swimming with tears. "What do you mean, you already have?"
"The spell has been invoked." She took in a deep breath, trying to be strong if only for Duo's sake. "Listen, love. By tomorrow, I would've disappeared anyways. If it wasn't the spell, then it would've been Time. True Death cannot die, but I am only his wife. I can still…no longer exist."
Duo tightened his hold around her. "Mom…" he whispered, feeling a wet trail sliding down his cheek. "You can't…"
"It'll be alright, Duo. You'll see." When Duo didn't reply, she said, "I'm sorry…"
He looked up at that. "Why does everyone always say they're sorry?" he cried. "It's not as if though it'll make everything right again!" A tear trickled down his face. "First Heero died, now you have to die, and it's because of me. And all you can say is sorry!" He broke down, tears streaming down his face.
"Oh…" Shi no Tenshi gathered Duo up in her arms and held him, murmuring inaudible words to him.
Heero looked on, pain in his blue eyes. 'It didn't have to happen this way...' he thought. 'It wouldn't be this way, if I hadn't died…'
That was when she started to fade. "Please," Duo sobbed, holding her desperately. "Not yet!"
"I love you, Duo," she called as she disappeared. "Remember that!" A few minutes later, all that was left of her was memories.
"I love you too..." he said, even though he knew she couldn't hear. Duo finally realized it. He really did love her; it was just that he'd never actively accepted it before. "Mom..."
Heero looked at him, his heart aching along with his friend's. "Duo..." Duo allowed Heero to hold him, to comfort him.
"I never got the chance to tell her I love her!" Duo cried.
"But she knew...she always knew." Finally, after what seemed hours, they stood up, and, hand in hand, the two walked back up the stairs, leaving behind the place of Death.
~*~*~
A few days later, before Quatre and the others were due to arrive back home, Duo received a phone call from Hell. "Shinigami? This is Fervios, your mother's librarian."
"Oh. Um…hi." Duo was slightly surprised to hear from anyone down underground.
"I've called to tell you that we have found a replacement Death. That is, if you don't mind." The last part was added hastily.
Duo sighed in relief. "Of course I don't mind! Actually, I'd been rather hoping that you would do that."
"So I suppose we're at an agreement, sir?"
"Yeah. You've find another Grim Reaper to take my place and I won't bother you, right?"
"Yes sir."
"Okay."
"Then…"
"Um…"
"Oh yes. About your friend. No one will remember he died, except you two. And you must never tell anyone."
"Of course I won't tell!"
"Good. Then I won't be seeing you again, sir. Goodbye."
Duo blinked. "Yeah…sure…" He stared at the phone as the line went dead, then shrugged and hung up.
Heero entered the room, a coffee mug in his hand. "Who was that?"
"Some librarian. Really weird."
"Fervios?"
"Yeah." Duo looked at Heero. "Hey, how'd you know?"
Heero shrugged and sat down, looking at Duo with eyes bright. Suddenly, Duo grinned. "It's later, isn't it?"
"What?"
"Nothing." Duo's grin got wider. 'Falling in love can wait for later, and now it's later.' "Did you ever hear of Dragon Ball Z?"
Heero blinked. "…"
"Come on, they're showing it now." He dragged Heero over to the T.V., flopped down on the couch, and picked up the remote. Heero, surprised, sat down next to him. Duo settled back happily. There was so much to do, so much to say, but for now…for now, DBZ was all he really wanted. DBZ, Heero, and his mug of coffee.
~*~*~
Epilogue: In the end, time was reversed, and Heero never died. Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei still led their regular lives...only Duo and Heero remember that Heero had ever died. Sometimes, Duo still has dreams about his mom, his home in Hell; but he couldn't go back. It just wouldn't be right, in his opinion. Someone else was already the new Death, taking over Duo's spot.
But he didn't care... Duo knew he would always be the one and only Shinigami, and Shi no Tenshi would always be as dear as any mother would be, in his heart.
For some reason, that reassured him. He knew now that he could at least trust his mother not to lie to him, and that calmed him down a bit. All he had to do before going back in and trying to save Heero was let go. Let go…whatever that meant. Oh well. If it was for Heero, Duo could and would do anything. He'd even go to Hell. A not-quite-amused laugh came out of him. 'Hell…I've already done that,' he thought wryly. 'I've already been to Hell…and back.'
~*~*~
When he woke up the next morning, Duo found a note pinned to the kitchen table saying that the others had left for a meeting on a colony. They wouldn't be back until a week later. "Well, that gives me plenty of time to 'let go', doesn't it?" he asked the refrigerator, which hummed in reply. He sighed. "This is stupid..."
After eating breakfast, he went into the living room, where he sat in his favorite armchair and started meditating. 'That's not going to let you go, you know,' his little voice of reason scoffed.
"SHUT UP!"
'It really isn't...' Then it didn't speak again. Duo glared at his reflection in the mirror, hoping that the voice inside saw it.
After an hour, what the voice had predicated came true and Duo gave up. He decided to go out for a walk. The breeze that greeted him tugged his braid playfully, and he let it blow before pulling his cap on and stopping his hair from flying everywhere.
'Mom...' Duo thought. He liked the familiarity to it, but still...it seemed so far away. He didn't even know he had a mom until a day ago. How could he learn to trust her in such short a time?
'Shi no Tenshi's a good person.'
"I said DON'T BOTHER ME!" Duo said softly, so the other people couldn't hear. "And I don't need your advice!"
'Sure...' Duo was starting to resent his voice of reason's personality. It reminded Duo too much of himself.
He snarled, directing it to the voice, but quickly straightened his face when an old lady gave him a weird look and muttered, "Young people these days."
~*~*~
That night, after Duo had finally given up trying to 'let go', he fell into bed, exhausted from his efforts of trying to rest. "This is VERY stupid..."
His computer hummed companionably.
Duo blinked and sat up suddenly. 'Hey wait a minute. I don't have a computer.' He turned to stare at the monitor sitting on the table in the corner of the room. Somewhat tentatively, Duo got out of bed and advanced towards the computer, which was still humming.
He touched the mouse, giving it a little shake, and the black of the screen gave way to words. Arigatou. See you soon. There was a little happy face floating around next to the words.
Duo grinned despite himself. 'Geez Heero.' Even though he almost never smiled and had no sense of humor whatsoever, it was obvious Heero had sent the message. For one, the computer belonged to him (Duo could tell because the monitor had a dent where he'd 'accidentally' knocked it to the ground once), and two, floating around with the smiley face was a gun. 'Thanks.'
A smile still lingering on his face, Duo plopped back into bed and burrowed under the covers. Tomorrow, he'd try letting go again. But tonight… Well, tonight was for sleeping. Only sleeping…no worrying...
~*~*~
Despite the fact that Heero had died, Duo was suddenly the heir to Hell, and that a voice of reason had decided on impulse to make itself known, life went on. Duo, glad that no one was around to watch, stuffed his face with Ben and Jerry's coffee ice cream, all the while still working on the 'letting go' process. His favorite armchair now had a big butt-dent in it where Duo had sat down for too long.
It was five o'clock pm of a gorgeous day, and Duo was once again curled up in his chair, fiddling with his cross. He stared at the cross and a shadow settled over his soul. Now that he was the rightful heir of Hell, was it right to keep wearing the necklace? The cross was, after all, a symbol of Jesus Christ, right? And a person who was literally the child of Satan sure couldn't be too saint-like nor God worshipping, for that matter.
Then again, he couldn't just take it off and forget about it either… It was a last reminder of Father Maxwell, Sister Helen, and all the others at the church. It wouldn't be right to throw it away. He sighed. If Heero were here, he'd know what to do…
'Stop it!' Duo thought angrily. 'Worrying about a cross isn't going to bring Heero back!' Duo was about to get up and do something to help bring Heero back when he stopped. 'But what will?' He sighed, feeling more dejected then he had ever felt in his life. 'Someone help me!'
Suddenly, the phone ran and Duo nearly jumped out of his skin. As soon as he recovered from the shock, he sprang out of his chair and grabbed for the phone. Maybe it was Heero… "Hello?"
"Hi. Duo?" A worried voice came over the phone and Duo felt his hope leave him.
"Oh…Quatre."
"Are you alright? I feel…bad…about leaving you home alone right now."
Duo, touched by the blonde's worry, forced a cheerful note into his voice. "Oh, I'm alright. I haven't killed anything yet, if that's what you're worried about. And your house is still standing."
Quatre sighed and Duo could imagine a smile coming over Quatre's face. "Well, if you're alright, then you wouldn't mind if we're gone for five more days?"
"Oh sure, no problem! I can take care of myself. I'm a big boy now."
"Of course." There was a slight pause. "I have to leave now… There's another meeting soon, and I wanted to talk to Trowa before we leave again."
"Alright. I'll see you, I guess." There was a click as Quatre hung up, and after awhile, Duo placed the phone back into its cradle. He closed his eyes and sagged against the wall. 'Heero…'
Duo was just about to drown in his misery when the phone ran again. His hand shot out to grab the receiver. "Hello?"
"Duo…" The other voice was feminine, soft and longing. "Is it you?"
His eyes widened. "Mom?'
"I'm glad you can recognize me…" Shi no Tenshi sighed softly. "Can you come over? I…I need to see you…"
"Come over? How?"
"The same way you did last time. Through Heero's grave."
"I… Sure, I guess so. I'll be right over."
"Thank you…"
Duo hung up, more than a bit perplexed over the urgent tone in his mother's voice. What in the world had happened? Heero couldn't have…died again, could he? Appalled at the thought, Duo grabbed his jacket of the back of a chair and ran out the door, sprinting to the graveyard.
It didn't take him long to locate Heero's tombstone and enter the tunnel again, though he was more reluctant to do so this time. Surprisingly, there were no Dobermans out guarding the entrance, nor were there signs of any other guards.
Duo stepped into the room at the end of the tunnel cautiously. "Hello?" he called into the darkness.
At the sound of his voice, a ball of flame appeared, lighting the room. Shi no Tenshi stood on one side of the room, an ancient book opened in her arms. "Duo…"
"What's the matter?"
"Our librarian found a spell that would free a person bound to hell from his chains," she said softly.
"Alright!" he exclaimed happily. Then, after getting a closer look of his mother's face, he added, "Hey, why do you look so sad?"
"It requires the soul of a pure person..." she replied.
He stepped closer towards his mother, sensing dread. "I don't get it," he said, preparing for the worst.
Heero, seated at Shi no Tenshi's feet, explained. "The spell needs the soul of someone who's never killed nor sinned before."
"And…?" Duo's voice was getting softer as he talked. He had a feeling he knew who the sacrifice was going to be…and he wasn't going to like it. Not one bit.
"The lady is the only one around for miles that hasn't done either of those things…"
Duo stared at his mother, shocked. "But…you can't die, right? I mean, you're the Angel of Death…"
"Spells sometimes override the rules of 'Death can't die', as in this case," she said. "Besides, it would take my soul, not my life."
"What's that mean?"
She looked at Duo. "I have no life, for I am Death. But I still have a soul. And that's what the spell requires."
"You're not…" Duo shook his head slowly. "You're not going to, right?"
Shi no Tenshi turned her face so she was no longer facing Duo. "Anything to make you happy, love. Besides, there is no need for me down here… My soul was to disintegrate soon. That's why I so suddenly brought you down here and told you about being Shinigami." She smiled, though still avoiding Duo's eyes. "And I may as well put my soul to good use before it disappears, hm?"
"But…but…" Duo looked towards Heero for help. "But…" Finally, unsure of what to say, he ran towards her and flung his arms around her. "But you CAN'T!"
Shi no Tenshi, surprised, wrapped her arms around her son. "Sh, Duo. Yes I can, and I already have. The spell will keep my soul together for however long it may be needed."
He looked up, his violet eyes swimming with tears. "What do you mean, you already have?"
"The spell has been invoked." She took in a deep breath, trying to be strong if only for Duo's sake. "Listen, love. By tomorrow, I would've disappeared anyways. If it wasn't the spell, then it would've been Time. True Death cannot die, but I am only his wife. I can still…no longer exist."
Duo tightened his hold around her. "Mom…" he whispered, feeling a wet trail sliding down his cheek. "You can't…"
"It'll be alright, Duo. You'll see." When Duo didn't reply, she said, "I'm sorry…"
He looked up at that. "Why does everyone always say they're sorry?" he cried. "It's not as if though it'll make everything right again!" A tear trickled down his face. "First Heero died, now you have to die, and it's because of me. And all you can say is sorry!" He broke down, tears streaming down his face.
"Oh…" Shi no Tenshi gathered Duo up in her arms and held him, murmuring inaudible words to him.
Heero looked on, pain in his blue eyes. 'It didn't have to happen this way...' he thought. 'It wouldn't be this way, if I hadn't died…'
That was when she started to fade. "Please," Duo sobbed, holding her desperately. "Not yet!"
"I love you, Duo," she called as she disappeared. "Remember that!" A few minutes later, all that was left of her was memories.
"I love you too..." he said, even though he knew she couldn't hear. Duo finally realized it. He really did love her; it was just that he'd never actively accepted it before. "Mom..."
Heero looked at him, his heart aching along with his friend's. "Duo..." Duo allowed Heero to hold him, to comfort him.
"I never got the chance to tell her I love her!" Duo cried.
"But she knew...she always knew." Finally, after what seemed hours, they stood up, and, hand in hand, the two walked back up the stairs, leaving behind the place of Death.
~*~*~
A few days later, before Quatre and the others were due to arrive back home, Duo received a phone call from Hell. "Shinigami? This is Fervios, your mother's librarian."
"Oh. Um…hi." Duo was slightly surprised to hear from anyone down underground.
"I've called to tell you that we have found a replacement Death. That is, if you don't mind." The last part was added hastily.
Duo sighed in relief. "Of course I don't mind! Actually, I'd been rather hoping that you would do that."
"So I suppose we're at an agreement, sir?"
"Yeah. You've find another Grim Reaper to take my place and I won't bother you, right?"
"Yes sir."
"Okay."
"Then…"
"Um…"
"Oh yes. About your friend. No one will remember he died, except you two. And you must never tell anyone."
"Of course I won't tell!"
"Good. Then I won't be seeing you again, sir. Goodbye."
Duo blinked. "Yeah…sure…" He stared at the phone as the line went dead, then shrugged and hung up.
Heero entered the room, a coffee mug in his hand. "Who was that?"
"Some librarian. Really weird."
"Fervios?"
"Yeah." Duo looked at Heero. "Hey, how'd you know?"
Heero shrugged and sat down, looking at Duo with eyes bright. Suddenly, Duo grinned. "It's later, isn't it?"
"What?"
"Nothing." Duo's grin got wider. 'Falling in love can wait for later, and now it's later.' "Did you ever hear of Dragon Ball Z?"
Heero blinked. "…"
"Come on, they're showing it now." He dragged Heero over to the T.V., flopped down on the couch, and picked up the remote. Heero, surprised, sat down next to him. Duo settled back happily. There was so much to do, so much to say, but for now…for now, DBZ was all he really wanted. DBZ, Heero, and his mug of coffee.
~*~*~
Epilogue: In the end, time was reversed, and Heero never died. Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei still led their regular lives...only Duo and Heero remember that Heero had ever died. Sometimes, Duo still has dreams about his mom, his home in Hell; but he couldn't go back. It just wouldn't be right, in his opinion. Someone else was already the new Death, taking over Duo's spot.
But he didn't care... Duo knew he would always be the one and only Shinigami, and Shi no Tenshi would always be as dear as any mother would be, in his heart.
