Part One: Meaningless Words
Sleeping before a long journey always brings me troubled dreams. Visions of Julia fill my every thought, bringing forth emotions I believed I had long since forgotten.
Julia.
When you left me, you changed my world. I had thought I was crushed beyond repair. But no, not now that my wounded heart has turned to stone, a cold block of ice far beyond recognition. Are you happy with what you created, Julia? Happy with what spawned from the sorrow and agony that plagued me all those years ago? It seems like an eternity since we last saw each other. Where are you now, Julia? And do you think of me when you find yourself longing for a lover's embrace, or of Spike…
"Vicious… I will never leave you, my darling…"
Her voice still haunts my dreams…
* * *
"Sir?"
I open my eyes and look up at Lin. He looks concerned, but I know it is only his fear. My stare makes him nervous. He quickly diverts his gaze away and when he speaks next, his voice shakes and cracks inadvertently.
"This Gren. Do you think that he can be trusted? I mean, hasn't it been along time since you've seen this guy?"
I allow a smile to flicker across my face. Yes it's true. I haven't seen Gren in eons. But I know time will make no difference. After all, I stopped counting the minutes long before today. There are no yesterdays, todays, or tomorrows. Everything is irrelevant to me.
"Lin? You worried about whether or not someone else can be trusted? I wouldn't bother myself with thoughts such as those if I were you. All you need to do is focus on staying alive. Leave the judgment to me."
Lin's relief is clearly visible as it spreads across his face. Obviously, he thinks me an uncompassionate cold-hearted bastard. Well, I can easily agree with that. But it isn't as if I don't care what happens to him. If Lin is going to die, he will die at my bidding. I would have it no other way. Lin speaks and brings me back to my senses.
"Vicious, the Van will see you now."
I lead the way into the chamber and seat myself. The room is awash in dim light that fully amplifies the dark corners. I can only imagine what my face must look like in this light. Probably like that of a demon from Hell. Not far off, actually.
Lin takes his speaking role as the Van appear before us.
"The report from Calisto went directly to Vicious. He is requesting an arrangement for some Red Eye. Thirty thousand woolong per gram, seventy-five hundred grams total."
He says all this importantly, then the Van speak. The old fools, asking their damn idiotic questions.
"Why did he send you to make the deal?"
I speak then. My voice echoes through the darkness, barely over a whisper.
"He's a Titan veteran. We were in the same squadron." Memories of Titan flood back to me as I mention the God forsaken battlefield. I don't feel sorrow or anguish. I never did feel anything about those battles. To me, the sight of the blood of others only served to strengthen my resolve about fighting. I am a cold-blooded killer and fear nothing. Battle doesn't scare me. And the thought of dying is of no importance.
"Why does he rely on you now?" The Van again.
"Calisto is in a financial depression. When he can't see the future, he worries." At least I remember what Gren is like. How could I forget?
"All the more reason for us to keep our hands off the planet." Idiots.
"In truth Vicious, are you not the one who is worried?"
Would I be? No, you have got to be kidding me. And still, the Van persist and continue to contradict me. It will be the death of them.
"It appears that you do not have the authority to make your own decisions in this matter."
"No matter who they are, those who go against the will of the Van will be severely punished."
I speak my mind then, my face expressionless, my tone blank.
"You think I'd betray my own mentor?"
The Van seem to grow irritated at this show of innocence. Unlike them, Mao Yenrai had earned his death long ago. These fools were only half way.
"Then Mao's case was merely bad luck." It wasn't a question. It was a sarcastic statement, the tone edged out sharply. Then the Van let out their verdict, a safety precaution to ensure that I wouldn't try anything suspicious.
"Lin, you shall accompany Vicious on this journey."
"Yes." Lin said this so determined. I wonder if he knows what he's getting himself into. My past… so long ago forgotten…
The Van turn to me again. What now? They aren't about to forbid me to go on this mission.
"Calisto's a frigid planet, Vicious. You'll need special clothing for the Arctic conditions."
My face contorts in indignation. Arctic conditions? As if a small detail like that was of any threat to me.
"Cold climates do not concern me," I utter angrily.
The Van seem to have expected this answer. "True," began one of them, "your heart is colder than any planet. Colder than the eyes of a snake about to strike."
I've heard enough. I know what is expected of me. I rise from my chair slowly and prepare to leave.
"Vicious!" I turn only my head, eager to leave the room. I never have enjoyed my time with the Van. They say their parting words then.
"Remember, a snake cannot eat a Dragon." They look at me, as if challenging me to say otherwise. I hold my tongue and leave the room, silently musing.
I am unlike any snake they've ever encountered.
* * *
I stride from the chamber, Lin close at my heals. My anger level slowly returns to normal as I calm down and take in the orders of the Van. Of course, I think silently to myself, I have my own agenda.
I leave behind my precious raven. I may be immune to the cold, but my winged friend is not. Faithful bird. You will have to stay here this time. Although, I think you would make better company than Lin.
On this mission, Lin was a nuisance, needless and weak. I do not need him to look over my shoulder, monitor my every move, or hold my hand like a child.
"I'll be fine by myself." I continue to stride down the ships passageways, increasing my speed gradually.
"I'm going with you." Stubborn fool. Doesn't he understand that at this instant I despise that very looks of him? Since he didn't seem to take the first hint, it was either I cut him down now or try another approach. I decided on the latter.
"Then be aware," I begin firmly, "if you want to survive, you'll have to betray me at times." That should do the trick. But only a moment later Lin answered, determination etched into his every word, his sincerity cutting through the icy silence.
"No! Never! That would go against the will of Van."
Those words. Did he really understand them? How could he understand words that no longer have any meaning? Anyhow, that is not how the world is today.
"Such old-fashioned thinking makes me nauseous. Those damn corpses."
The Van may have control of Lin and are able to manipulate Lin's way of thinking, but they do not have control of mine. I would either have to become extremely pathetic or just lose my mind entirely. Lin speaks again, sounding more and more like a trained puppet, saying what he was taught to say rather than what he really means.
"I will protect you for the honor of the Red Dragon."
A sarcastic smile inches across my face. Another set of meaningless words.
"Honor, huh? Well then, it's up to me to sever them all."
Part Two: Arctic Climate
Julia. That was the codename I had chosen for this deal. The name of my old lover. No one would suspect that it was a hot drug deal. Why should they? Julia could be the name of any woman. But of course, I knew better. It was the name of my woman.
I decided that my arrival on Calisto should be kept secret. Of course, all the inhabitants of the broken down city of Blue Crow would want to get their dirty hands on the money. Incognito would be the best way to land. And the best way to be unnoticed.
Lin and I arrived on the ice rock Calisto early in the morning. The air blew in cold from the north, carrying a feeling of foreboding I could not quite place. Was it danger in the air?
Blue Crow was a town of all men, I had heard. I found all those rumors to be true. There were no women in Blue Crow. Well, not if you didn't count the drag queens.
Even as I walked through the crowded streets throughout the morning, my breath hung in an icy mist before my eyes, Gren was all I could think about. He was such an innocent child. He was only a boy when I met him. Well, compared to me, he was just a boy.
Titan. So long ago… I can hardly remember what possessed me to even fight there. Titan was a desert planer, hot and dry. I remember the sun would beat down on our backs, heavy and ruthless….
No. Stop. I don't want to remember that time. Those times were nothing and had no affect on my present.
While Lin examines some of the merchandise in a glass window, I look up and down the street. Yes, Julia had been here. That much I knew. But that had to have been ages ago. No one here would remember. Blue Crow is a city for men with broken hearts. A city for men who have lost all hope. I would live well in a city like this.
Snow begins to fall in magnificent white sheets as night blankets over this barren city. I am getting impatient. Where are you Gren?
Soon, my waiting nature fails me and I reach for my phone. I speed dial the number to Gren's apartment. It rings. And rings. And rings. Why won't you pick up? Is it because you know it's me, Gren? Are you that afraid to see me? See what time has done to your old friend? I chuckle softly. Old friend. That's a good one.
His machine picks up. It wasn't what I had expected, but I leave a message anyway.
"Gren," I breathe into the phone, "where are you? I'm out on roof two with mangen and the reverse dragon. It's thirty-two thousand. I'll be waiting." I hang up the phone with a faint beep.
Just then, as if appearing from the very pits of darkness, I notice a silhouette heading toward Lin and me. The last person I had actually expected to see on this mission steps into the sallow light. Spike.
He swaggers to a halt and smiles that cocky smile of his.
"Are you seeing Julia behind my back?"
Lin is far more stunned than I am. He stumbles where he is standing but quickly recovers. He and Spike were old friends.
"Spike!" He cries out in disbelief. Spike, on the other hand is completely composed, as always. Keeping his cool, he begins to speak.
"Lin. You've gotten pretty big."
I scowl. He was always one to be unnervingly matter of fact. Now it is my turn to speak, Spike.
"He doesn't work under you anymore, Spike. Things are different now."
Spikes face contorts in a mix of fury and spite.
"Like you using her name for your scummy drug deals? I truly pity her for that." He spits out his sentence, his voice saturated with contempt. Now I am the one to keep my cool.
"If there's anyone who needs pity here, it's you." I let my words hang over the moment, like a pen held over paper. The air between us is like lightning, fierce and threatening. Lin can only stand back and watch while Spike and I stare into each other's eyes.
Those eyes. So distinct. I can always tell what he's thinking by looking into those eyes. He's going to challenge me. I can see his hand reach for his gun.
"We still haven't settled the score from last time." His style is the same. Gun raised, he stares directly into my eyes. I reach for my katana. My next words are cold and sharp, like an icicle.
"Make your move."
All muscles ready to heave into battle, I begin to lunge forward, then Lin stands between Spike and me.
"No!" He yells. Damn him. I don't need this right now, Lin. Your protecting me isn't helping anything.
Spike looks outraged and I hear him grunt angrily. He opens his mouth, letting the mist escape from it like a puff of smoke.
"Lin! Get out of the way!"
I take this opportunity to tell Spike a little detail I was certain he would be interested to know.
"Julia was here. Right in this town."
Astounded at hearing her name come out of my mouth, his face takes on the look of a wounded dog. He straightens himself again though, ready to fight. I wish Lin would move out of the way. I need to face my destiny. And my destiny needs to face me.
"Get out of the way!" Another attempt to continue our duel. Then Lin does something I hadn't expected him to do. He pulls out a gun. Spike can only stare, awestruck.
"Lin!" He begins to lower his gun. That is a mistake. Lin doesn't miss the chance. Seconds later, he fires, hitting Spike in his midsection.
Those eyes. I can see them fog in his weary semi-conscious state. Spike falls to the ground. Lin and I walk over carelessly to examine his body. He is breathing heavily, his chest moving up and down quickly. I growl at him. His eyes are only half open, but I know that he sees me. I almost laugh out loud at the look of horror on his face.
I don't need to see anymore. My business is done. Gren didn't show, but then he probably had his reasons. I'll give him until tomorrow to live. If there is a tomorrow.
Walking back to our ship, I can feel the cold wind biting into my skin. I can feel it. I pull my jacket around me and shiver.
The Van was right. Calisto was a frigid planet, and I was thankful for the clothes they had provided for the Arctic conditions.
Part Three: Black Secrets
The next morning woke just like the one before it, cold and gray. Today was the day when I would see Gren again. I think of how it used to be. The way he would look at me, so trusting…
Lin knocks loudly on the door of my quarters.
"Excuse me, Vicious, sir." He pauses. I can almost see his face on the other side of the door. I can imagine his expression. He doesn't know that I know he will betray me. The silent interlude seems to reach into infinity.
"It's time to go. Gren will be waiting."
I stand and stretch my sleep away, smiling all the while. I am ready for today. The battle will be mine.
* * *
Flying far above the city, I pull out my phone and call Gren. I hear the rings, then he picks up. His young voice answers me from the other side of the line.
"Hello?"
His voice was always sweet, calm and clear, like a ringing bell. I breathe into the phone, then begin to speak in code.
"I'm standing above you. Come to the roof of the villain that's closest to the sky."
There is a small silence. "I'll send a woman over."
I feel my anticipation fade and let my disappointment saturate my voice. "Up to you. Although, I was looking forward to seeing you personally."
The conversation over, I hang up my phone and head for the rooftop.
* * *
He hadn't lied. He did send a woman over. And I was disappointed. She was cloaked in a long sash, like that of an Arab or Indian. Her face was covered, but the tips of her long dark hair shown through. She has the bag in her hand. Well, I thought to myself, at least this deal will go down smoothly.
Lin walks over and grabs one of the small tubes of Red Eye. He performs the appropriate tests and turns to me.
"It's reading X+. It's real."
The deal is done. I don't let disappointment shadow my underlying pleasure. I look at Lin with hard eyes.
"Give it to her."
Lin picks up the briefcase he'd laid aside and walks forward again. "This is the Titan opal you requested." He sets the briefcase down and walks back to where I am standing. We begin to walk away. I turn back my head, the same way I had done when I walked away from the Van.
"Tell Gren that I send my regards."
I turn and begin to walk again. Then the woman speaks, but in a voice I had expected not to hear.
"You saved me from that scorpion. And yet, you lied and sold me down the river."
That clear voice rang out into the cold air. I turn, stunned. The woman flings the briefcase over and shoots. The bomb that had been so carefully set exploded in a tremendous flash of blinding white light. I duck behind a nearby post and the blast has no effect. Lin, on the other hand, is thrown feet from where he is standing and lands sprawled on the ground. I look up, my face betraying a cool that was nonexistent.
"It's you."
Gren's cloak flies off in the sudden wind. Was that deliberate? But there was no time to think about that now. He looks at me, hate etched in his eyes.
"It's been a long time." It was strange to hear that voice in an angry tone. I can only stare, still dumbfounded by his sudden appearance.
"What do you want?" I knew what he wanted me to say. His face contorts in suppressed fury, fury that has built up until this moment.
"When you gave me that music box, you didn't think I'd ever break it open and look inside. Why would I?"
I'm impressed. "So you found the solar transmitter?" A sarcastic smile inches across my face. I seem to do that a lot. But my smile does nothing to improve Gren's mood. He simply holds his ground and looks at me hatefully.
"Julia found it!" he spat. "The moment she heard it was a gift from you she told me to open it up and look."
I still only stare. "And? What about it?"
Gren looks murderous. That look does not go on the face of that boy.
"Are you trying to kill me again, is that it?" His voice rises, in spite of his increasing efforts to remain calm. "We fought that bloody war together. We were comrades. We risked everything, shoulder-to-shoulder, on that battle ground of death." After Gren said this, he lowered his voice to almost a whisper, as if saying his next words was painful.
"I looked up to you. I believed in you."
Those words. Those four words. How could he actually believe in someone like me? I keep my face straight and my eyes cold while I look up at Gren.
"There was nothing to believe in. There's no need to believe." I let the last word role off my tongue and into the cold air, spilling over the already tense silence. Something in Gren must have snapped, because at that moment, he opened fire. The shot does not have me running. On the contrary, it is an invitation to stay.
I knew what was going to happen seconds before it did. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Lin stagger up to his feet and run towards me at full speed. Blood is running down his face.
"Vicious! Look out!"
The shot hits Lin will the force of an avalanche and he falls sideways. His blood runs over the snow, red and warm. His eyes cloud and Lin is no more.
Gren does not look shocked and shows no sign of remorse. He pulls his gun up, looks at me, then runs. I look down at the ground, from Lin's still form to the bag of Red Eye that lay forgotten in the snow. I bend over and pick it up, uttering only one thought to Lin's dead body and anything else that would listen.
"There is nothing in this world to believe in."
Part Four: Lost Soul
I run to my ship and throw the Red Eye into a safe compartment. I have to get out of here fast. The snow blinds me as I fly over the barren city of Blue Crow.
That's when I see him. Spike. I knew he wasn't dead. I'd made sure he wouldn't be. But how he found me, I will never know. His red ship, the Swordfish II, races towards me. I quickly maneuver out of the way. The radio crackles and I hear Spike's voice break the static.
"Vicious!"
I look at the Swordfish. We are still locked in combat. And yet, he has to make his point.
"Lin died protecting you! His soul is lost!" Spike says all this very fast, his voice fierce.
He still doesn't understand. "He wasn't protecting me, don't you get it? He was protecting the order!"
We didn't have much time alone when Gren showed up in his fighter. I growl. Gren doesn't belong here anymore. He isn't important. I direct my ship towards him.
"You're in the way!"
With one blow, I have Gren's ship spinning off towards the top of high building. I can hear his coughing over the radio.
Just then, the most horrible sound met my ears, and only the shear beauty of its meaning to me kept me from screaming. The music box. It's tune played softly as I waited with bated breath. Lin. That traitor.
With one deafening snap, the music is over and a bomb explodes to my right. Lin knew he would die. And he wanted to make sure I went with him. For a moment, it looked as though I would crash, until I saw it. The mother ship herself. I sighed in relieve as the Red Dragon flew towards me.
I leave this battle unfinished, Spike. But don't you worry. We will finish this. And when we do, I will come out on top. You will die, Spike. This time, you will stay dead.
* * *
As I am dragged into the Red Dragon's ship, I can only think of Julia. In my heart, there is no feeling, but that does not mean that I have forgotten how to love.
I let my head rest on my chest as I ride back to headquarters. I can feel my fatigue; the battle must have weighed heavily on me. I let my mind drift into sleep.
Spike had said that Lin was a lost soul.
That was a statement that I found ironic. Lin's soul lost? Not more lost than mine is.
I smile to myself. I am an angel fallen from grace, does that make me a devil? My smile widens. Well, if I be a devil, then send me to Hell.
I open my eyes and look into the depths of space. All the stars are shining. Then I see it. A shooting star.
DISCLAIMER…
I DO NOT OWN COWBOY BEBOP OR ANY RELATED MATERIALS.
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