Author: Nadz
E-mail: vegitto02 at yahoo dot
com
Note: This poem-story is an alternate future of what happens soon after Blade exceeds his thirty-minute time limit and becomes a Radam slave. Also, please let me know what you think. Thanks!
I know not what I do.
No, I must not lie to myself
any longer.
The truth is…
I know not how to stop what I am
doing.
In its unforgiving and relentless clutches,
My soul
has been mercilessly trapped.
Losing more control is the only
thing I can manage,
That control that makes me my very own
person
Yet, I cannot stop what I am doing!
For a red haze
bathes my eyes and fetters my mind…
I beg for mercy; I beg for
freedom
Yet I am the only one who listens.
I am the only
one who listens to my own cries.
I am the only one who was
listening to his.
I lift my lance and see the blood dripping
slowly from its edges,
And I look down upon the silent, fallen
body of my friend.
No! Why, God? Why couldn't I stop
myself?
Why are you letting me hurt my friends?
Please help me
with your heavenly power!
Please save me with your divine
strength!
I keep quiet, praying for a response
Praying that
a miracle will liberate me.
Praying that I will regain my
control.
Yet, I only hear the soft sound of his blood,
Dripping
from my lance… onto the hard floor.
Again, I am the only one
listening.
I want to scream, but my body is buzzing…
Buzzing
with delight as my mouth chuckles.
I look down the hallway behind
me…
The hallway littered with their corpses…
I want to cry…
I want to die…
I look down again at my most recent
victim.
He never trusted me at first, but he soon changed.
He
offered me his friendship despite his reservations
And this is how
I repaid him for what he had done for me.
I never wanted to hurt
you… I'm sorry, Noaru…
But I know not how to stop what I am
doing.
Why? Why can't I stop myself?
Am I too weak? What
had I done wrong?
It doesn't matter now, for they are all
dead
Every single Space Knight… except for one…
Yes,
she can help me break free from this jail.
She had given me the
strength before,
And she will bring me back.
Where are you,
Aki? I need you…
I need you to help me! I need you to save
me!
She hears my call and enters the hallway.
She looks at me
and gasps at my lance.
She looks down and sees our friend.
I
step towards her, but she turns away
She turns away, screaming as
she runs
As she runs further into the darkness
The darkness of
the twisting corridor…
Please, don't run! Please help
me!
No, Aki, you can't do this to me! Not you…
You, who
always gave me your support…
You, who always believed in
me…
She continues to shriek in terror as she flees
But I
follow her and trap her in a corner
She turns around, and my heart
shatters
Tears are flowing down her cheeks.
She is
terrified.
She is terrified by death.
She is terrified by a
monster.
She is terrified by a devil.
She is terrified by
me.
No, you have always been there for me!
Why are you
turning away now?
Please save me! I need you!
But she stays
frozen, crying.
And my mind fills with horror,
For the red
haze that clouds my mind
Does not stop me from seeing my
hand
Raise my lance towards her shaking figure,
Ready to lodge
itself in her person.
No! Please, God, please hear me!
Not
to her! Don't let me do this!
But the insect in my brain only
chuckles
As it continues to control my actions,
It won't be
long before it seizes my emotions.
No, I won't let myself do
this to her!
She remains motionless, her back against the wall
As
she looks at me with a look of horror and fear…
Fear of what is
to come… Fear of what I have become.
I will not let myself
do this!
Each one of my friends is dead… slaughtered…
killed…
Killed by the destruction brought about by my hands.
But
I must stop these hands from hurting her!
She gasps as she
sees my hand
Pull back my lance, ready for a quick, final,
thrust
A thrust that would end her life
And free her from her
living hell.
We stand motionless, watching each other
Waiting
for the other to make the first move
I struggle against the insect
in my skull
Trying to fight with the last of my strength.
Seconds
pass… minutes pass…
And then it finally happens.
I defeat
the parasite. At last!
It retreats from its control.
I am back
to myself, at least for now.
The red haze fades away from my
vision,
And I hear the clattering of my lance,
Which drops
loudly on the metal floor.
I speak out to her, telling her that I
am back.
Telling her that I have been saved.
With a final
release of anguish, she cries.
Her back slides down the wall,
But
I reach towards her and hold her arms…
With my hands, stained by
the blood of our friends.
She breaks down, but I catch her in
an embrace.
The guilt of what I had done tears through my body.
It
plagues my heart and rips into my tormented soul.
I have betrayed
my own people…
There is no reversal for what I have done
But
there is nothing I can do about that.
Death is final, and I have
lost them forever.
But I still have her… I still have Aki.
The
two of us are crying together
The two of us are grieving
together
I am holding her in my arms,
Telling her how sorry I
am
Tears of grief flow freely from my eyes.
As we continue
our awkward embrace.
An embrace that will last eternally
Because
of the horror of what is to come.
Our moment of peace is
instantly shattered
As I feel an agonizing pain through my
person.
I clearly hear Aki gasp as well,
And I see blood
pouring from her chest.
I try to turn around, but I
cannot.
His lance had torn through my back
And out from my
stomach…
Only to enter her soft body thereafter.
As he
stands behind me,
I gasp as I hear his chuckle
I gasp as I hear
his words
He says that there was hope for me
But that this hope
has disappeared
Because I have turned traitor once again.
I
realize that the furtive devil
In the form of my twin brother
Had
impaled us both during our embrace
First me… and then her…
with one stroke…
We cry out in pain, but we still hear his
words.
He says that we are better off this way.
He watches as
we struggle for our lives
As we collapse weakly to the ground.
I
am now lying on my back,
And she is lying on top of me.
I
continue to hold her in my arms,
And I see his lance protrude out
of her backside.
My brother laughs at our fate,
And tells
us of the imminent destruction
About to befall what we've always
called 'home.'
There would be nothing to stop them now…
nothing…
I cry out for him to stop, to listen to reason,
But
he only laughs in scorn and bitterness.
He celebrates my pending
death,
He chortles at our painful demise,
And then he leaves…
he leaves us alone…
To suffer the anguish of the inevitable.
My
armor fades away,
Leaving our bodies touching
And I gaze into
her eyes,
Only to see them close slowly.
Her strength fades
away
And her arms lie still.
A last teardrop falls from her
eye,
And splashes against my cheek.
She brings her head
down slowly,
And rests it against my chest.
With a brief, final
exhale,
Her soul frees itself from this world.
Yet, she
will not be alone.
I will be joining her very soon.
I will be
joining her… because I failed…
I failed, Father… I
failed…
All for which I had fought will be gone…
The
Earth will become a wasteland…
All because of my failure…
A
failure that I will not have to deal with…
For my troubles are
about to end…
Now the pain is fading away…
With my
final, fleeting strength,
I gently stroke her hair and tell
her
How much she means to me…
I can only hope that she
can hear me…
I can only hope that there will be an afterlife…
I
can only hope that we will be reunited there…
But I do not know,
Aki… I do not know…
I can only hope… I can only
pray…
And do nothing else, for my time has come…
I will
never forget you… I promise…
Good bye, Aki… Good bye…
With a last, sad smile, I close my eyes… forever.
