Title: Spike's Gift
Author: Amber
Pairings: would I actually write something that wasn't S/B eventually? I think not
Spoilers: definitely up to and including "The Gift"
Rated: umm... PG, I guess, not really sure, maybe even G
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters, meanie-mo Joss owns 'em all, but at least he's kind enough to share(at least, he doesn't say not to use themeg)
Distribution: please? I wanna see my name on a web site, take it, put it up on the wall(or webpage), just tell me where, so I can go and stare at my name for hours at a time(ego? me? naaaaawdisbelief really? naaaaaawmore disbelief)
Feedback: feed that ego I deny having, he's hungry, he wants lotsa yummy, nummy feedback
Author's Note: *This* is thoughts, and parts in Italics are flashbacks (maybe memories too, I guess)
Dedications: to my damned muse, for giving me this instead of total writer's block, like she usually does, and, as always, to Bu, for being so cool, Debsie, for being just as cool, and the people I call friends in the Buffy chat room
Summery: I re-wrote "The Gift", the end at least. Anything I tell you would give stuff away, so it's a re-written Gift and post re-written Gift story(no groaning, this one is different, as far as I know)
Spike's Gift (part two)
Spike had been gone for less than a week, but Buffy was an emotional wreck. She cried for hours at a time, and always had nightmares about That Night. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw it all over again. She saw him jump, she saw his body suspended in the air for countless seconds. Then she saw him fall. They were so high up, he could never survive.
Dawn ran down the stairs, Buffy close behind. Both were praying that they'd find Spike complaining about the fall, acting if nothing important had happened. But their prayers were not answered that morning.
They reached the bottom, only to find Spike's broken body, laying on the debris.
"No!" Buffy cried out. Before she realized what she was doing, she ran to his side and hugged his no longer un-dead but now really dead body to hers. "No, Spike, it should have been me. It should have. It should..." she broke off, her sobs making it impossible to speak. "God, no," she uttered between the tears.
Dawn was by her side in a second, hugging her, and crying just as much. It was like losing their mother, all over again. Dawn looked up at the sky, or more, at the sun rising.
"Buffy," she said, and shook her sister's shoulder. Buffy paid Dawn no mind. Dawn shook harder. "Buffy. Buffy, the sun's coming up. We have to move his body. He'll burn up, Buffy. We have to move him."
But it was too late. The sun light hit first Buffy, then the body in her lap that used to hold Spike. But nothing happened. Spike didn't become something that would fit in a Dust Buster. There was no fire, no smoke, no nothing, just a body, laying in Buffy's lap.
"It was the least they could do," Buffy whispered. "Give us a body to bury. It was the very least..." she broke off, starting to cry all over again.
Dawn couldn't take her sister's despair any longer. "Buffy, I don't want to say this," she said through her own tears, "but he's gone. That's not Spike, that's just where he's been un-living for the past century and a half. Buffy, please, stop crying, please?" Dawn started crying all over again, Buffy's grief so full that it was contagious.
The Scoobies had stayed back until now, letting the sisters grieve on their own. But now they waked up, and tried to comfort the two. Tara and Willow hugged Dawn, and turned her away from the body. Xander and Anya comforted Buffy while Giles picked up Spike's body.
Giles spoke, "We should go home. We've all had a very long, what with saving the world again and all, and rest would be very helpful."
"Okay," Buffy replied, sounding more like a lost child than a triumphant slayer.
That was only the beginning of Buffy's torment. Things only got worse after.
It had been two weeks since Spike's second death. The Scoobies were done grieving, and Dawn was still crying, but only in her room, at night, quietly to herself. But Buffy, well... Buffy went into a deeply depressed state.
She repeatedly had a nightmare that she had pushed Spike off the tower. She would sneak up behind him, then push him off. He would scream and flail his arms a bit, then there would be a sickening thud as he hit the ground. She always woke up screaming after that one.
Giles had moved in to help take care of Dawn, seeing as Buffy, at the moment, could barely take care of herself. The Scoobies were starting to discuss the possibility of sending Buffy to see a psychologist, but it was still in debate.
Dawn had went back to school, but Giles and Willow had to help her with her homework, catch her up with the rest of her class. She didn't always get things correct, but she tried her hardest.
Buffy had started the habit of looking out her bedroom window every night, expecting to see Spike down there, smoking a cigarette, waiting for her. But she never saw him. It usually just made the sadness worse.
She knew that if she didn't shape up soon, that she would have to see a psychiatrist, and she DID NOT want that. He'd just say she was crazy, or obsessed, or something equally as bad. And how could she explain about Spike? "Yeah, I'm crying and depressed because a vampire that helped create my little sister threw himself off a big tower into a portal to hell so that I wouldn't have to do it." Oh, yeah, that sounded so sane. She'd be in a straight jacket in no time.
So that day, she pushed all her grief inside, and only let it out when the others were not around to worry about her.
Spike had seen all of this. He had seen her sit by his grave every day for more than a week. He had a grave. If it hadn't been for Buffy's grief, he'd have probably laughed at the fact that he finally had a grave, after over a hundred and forty years of walking the earth. He was probably the only vampire to ever have a grave.
It had read: R.I.P. William Hayden a.k.a. Spike He was a friend to some, an inspiration to others, and loved by all.
Every time he thought of the words on his tombstone , he teared up. They had found his last name. He had almost forgot it himself. That 'inspiration' bit was almost too much, as was the 'loved by all'. He figured that Buffy and the Little Bit had picked it out. Wiping away a tear that had fallen down his cheek, he looked back down at Buffy. She had a large bowl of chocolate ice cream in her lap, and was watching a sad movie on the television in the living room. He could tell it was really sad by the way she was crying.
He glanced at the tv set, and saw that it wasn't even on. Still she sat there, crying. *She's crying about me* he thought sadly, none of his usual cockiness in that statement. He turned away from the viewing portal, he couldn't stand Buffy being so sad. Even worse, it was because of him.
As he turned around, he saw his Guide watching him. He grabbed her wrist, and spoke desperately. "I have to see her, not from far away, but up close. I have to be next to her, I have to comfort her. She has to see me, and know that I'm all right. And I have to do it right now." His voice had rose during the whole speech, and it had went from desperate to demanding very quickly.
She thought about this for a moment. she then replied, "Okay, you can go down there and visit her. You can go as a spectral vision, but you can only stay five minutes. After that, you will no longer be a spectral vision. Is that clear? Only five minutes, remember that." She smiled at her cleverness.
"Only five minutes?!" he cried. He started to get angry, but the thought better of it. "Okay, five minutes. Anything would be better than watching her through that... thing." He pointed in disgust at the viewing portal.
"Good luck. And have a nice time," she smiled, and watched him fade away. She then turned to the veiwing portal to watch for herself.
TBC............
